RE: Apalled- A Vent (Full Version)

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ayasha -> RE: Apalled- A Vent (10/11/2006 4:55:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boundfem    <post snipped>

I am sorry, but to me there is NEVER a time that it is okay to put your hands on someone else unless invited to do so.  I did not find my Mistress at fault, She was attempting to be polite in someone else's house and not cause an uncomfortable vibe or scene.  
If one's Master allowed someone else to touch this one without His permission, and stood by and let it happen more than once, this one would certainly find Him at fault.  No - the host should not have touched you - but he did, and got away with it repeatedly.  He was testing your Mistress - you can decide if she passed or failed. 

A couple of people I know met him at TES Fest. That wasn't a play party and it certainly wasn't a swinger party.   He was extremely gropey and forward to complete strangers.  I find this disgusting in any scenario, venue, lifestyle or not.  I find that there is established protocol in the scene.. do not touch anything that does not belong to you unless you have been given permission or an invitation to do so.  I am shocked so many are sidestepping or downplaying this.
So why aren't you shocked that your Mistress sidestepped and downplayed this?  She may have talked to you at length about it - but did that change anything?  What would have changed it?  Why do you expect others to handle it any differently than your Mistress, if you think your Mistress handled it appropriately?  one would bet that a knowledgeable Master could sit back and watch this man - and that there are certainly those that He does NOT grope - because He knows better.  He is testing everyone - the Dominants to see if they will do the right thing; the submissives to see if they have what it takes to tell Him to back off.  He knows exactly what He is doing. 

We left early the next day and did not stay throughout that day's lengthy brunch and play party as She could not wait to get out of there.  Her being invited back is independent of me.. She may or may not go, with or without me.  She doesn't even desire to go, but he announced publicly She would be the featured weekend guest Domme in another month when we were there prior to even confirming with Her.  She most likely will not go back.
Again, He is testing her.  If she goes, with or without you, He will have succeeded in dominating her once again.  Announcing publicly that someone will be a featured guest without their prior knowledge and consent is definitely dominating that person.  Why doesn't she just tell Him "look, You did not show respect to Me or My slave when we were in Your home, and neither of us will be returning."  Do you think He has any respect for your Mistress right now?  He does not, and will not, unless she earns it from Him.  She also does not have the respect of anyone who knows that she allowed Him to touch her slave without permission.  They do not look at it as His bad for doing it - they look at it as Her bad for allowing it. 
 
It might be a good idea for the two of you to attend your next function with a more experienced, knowledgeable Dominant that can help guide her.  After all, we never stop learning.........................................




FirmhandKY -> RE: Apalled- A Vent (10/11/2006 11:17:28 PM)

Fast Reply:

I don't generally do this, but I'm going to jump from reading the OP directly to a comment (and hell, I didn't even finish reading the OP, so I'm REALLY out of sync with myself ...).

I might have let the first two examples of "inappropriate" behavior gone by without a comment, but there would have certainly been direct body and facial expressions directed to the so-called "house master". 

On the third time, when he reached and started touching you after your Mistress bit you neck, I could have give a shit less who's house it was or who HE was.

I would have stood in front of him, looked him directly in the eye and quietly and firmly said:   "This is the third time you've disrespected me and mine.  Get your hands away from her." with the implication that unless he did, there would soon be blood on the floor.

And waited.

If he didn't get the message, or wanted to argue, not another word from me, other than "We are going. Now."

Anything else that happened would have been on his head.

FhKY




Sinergy -> RE: Apalled- A Vent (10/12/2006 10:07:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

I too am surprised that your Mistress said nothing to stop this. I understand it was in someone else's house but my Masters concern for my wellbeing would have far outweighed any misgivings he might have had at saying something to the host. Perhaps you should discuss this with your Mistress, it may be that she was not as unhappy with the situation as you seem to have been.


A friend of mine's mother once told her that (Swedish accent)  "You tell zem vonce and zen you clip zem."

A person placing their hands in a sensual way on what is mine without asking first will be asked politely once to cease and desist.

The second time I would suspect somebody will end up spitting out teeth.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy




becca333 -> RE: Apalled- A Vent (10/12/2006 11:56:38 PM)

As I said before, I'd expect any Dom of mine to turn rottweiler if someone, without permission, started groping me.

Mind you, he'd have to do it in about half a second, because after that I'd be doing my own impression of a feral cat on speed as I tore into Mr Handy.    I mean, I hope I'd do that with good manners, but....

I am not a fruit display.  You don't just reach over and squeeze something, thank you so very much.




Iskander -> RE: Apalled- A Vent (10/13/2006 12:31:21 AM)

Hahaha... thanks for that mental picture of a feral cat on speed..

Iskander..





nubinne -> RE: Apalled- A Vent (10/13/2006 1:35:58 AM)

I'm more apalled by your Mistress's failure to put a stop to it, and yours. The guy was in the wrong, to be sure, but at any time you or your Mistress could have said "No!". It's not all his fault. There comes a time when you have to take responsibility for your actions, or inaction, as the case may be.

From your posts it seems your Mistress knew you were distressed yet still held her tongue. She failed you.




theRose4U -> RE: Apalled- A Vent (10/13/2006 9:34:10 PM)

quote:

She did not want to create a scene (pardon the pun), but wanted to just attempt to keep his hands off of me in ways like subtlety and deflect his unwanted attention.

This is where feminine wiles come in handy. A firm removal of his hand, deep flirtatious look into his eyes and a firm "MINE". Message is sublte without a scene but unmistakable.
It does seem like this guy's a collector and is wanting to display his new trophy...your mistress. It sounds like taking liberties under the guise of my playground my rules (that he doesn't clue others in on) is the way he operates. This is one reason that I don't like public play. If she's actually properly invited, especially for demo (where it would be a safe assumtion you would also attend), just have a prior committement. The beauty is that she doesn't have to explain or elaborate, just I'm sorry we're busy that weekend.
Lesbians are considered a trophy among many men. It's as close as many ever get to finding the fantasy bi-slave of their dreams. What better trophy than a mistress that won't tell him off and her "obliging" slave. In his head it's a 2 for 1 deal, he already dominated her into allowing intimate touch that's obviously private to the two of you. It's just a hit or miss to see how far he can push her limits until he gets what he wants.

This is an unfortunate situation that there is no good answer to. Even for demo I don't loan what's mine ever. It tends to head this kind of thing off at the pass because if I won't share for someone to make a point or "show me a little something" they know that sharing for anything else is not likely. If the boy wants to try something it's negotiated by me and probably wouldn't take place in public.




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