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Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 8:58:40 AM

ProtagonistLily

Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

Recently, I've been getting a fair amount of mail from male submissives who are within my age and location range. If they are polite, I will write them back, and suggest we chat.

Typically, the chat goes something like this:
Me: Hello there, could you please tell me more about yourself?
them:I'm a total and complete slave looking to serve a Mistress
Me:Yes, I gathered that. Could you tell me what you are looking for?
them:A Mistress
Me: Yes. Have you ever served someone before
them: Yes, I was her total and complete slave
Me:Ok. What kind of things do you like
them:I like to have a Mistress who totally owns me....I will do what ever the Mistress wants.
Me:Ok. What did you enjoy that your Mistress did or had you do
them:What ever pleased her

Ok, you get the drift here. Am I unusual in that I'm not looking for a 'Stepford Sub', rather, I'm actually interested in having a submissive with some personality and a mind?

I go through these conversations and invariably wonder what the bring to the table that's attractive, if this is all they have to offer in the introductory conversation. Are they really looking for a Mistress or are they looking for an adult Baby Sitter?

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

Post #: 1

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 9:25:51 AM

mistressR

Posts: 11
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

yes i have the exact same problem often, i find the ones who talk this way are also the ones who back out of most things asked of them and get upset over the smallest thing, i dont think they are truly into it, they just think they are....

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 2

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 10:50:35 AM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

also the ones who back out of most things asked of them and get upset over the smallest thing

AMEN!

Unfortunately, this is all quite typical of the conversations I've had with most of those seeking a mistress. Yep, I think a many think we are robots. It makes me understand more and more why many woman go the pro route. At least they know when the dust clears, they don't feel used by someone just looking to get their kink off as a one shot deal.

I love when they tell you, I don't want to think, I just want you to control my life and every aspect of it. Oh really. Give me a forkin break.

(in reply to mistressR)

Post #: 3

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 12:20:18 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RosaB

quote:

also the ones who back out of most things asked of them and get upset over the smallest thing

AMEN!

It makes me understand more and more why many woman go the pro route. At least they know when the dust clears, they don't feel used by someone just looking to get their kink off as a one shot deal.

I love when they tell you, I don't want to think... Oh really. Give me a forkin break.

I know exactly what you mean Lily and Rosa, and these very people who want to be told what to do, want it told exactly so, and this is the list of things that when done to them makes them feel more submissive.... wink, wink, lol.

M

(in reply to RosaB)

Post #: 4

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 1:04:13 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Typically, the chat goes something like this:
Me: Hello there, could you please tell me more about yourself?
them:I'm a total and complete slave looking to serve a Mistress
Me:Yes, I gathered that. Could you tell me what you are looking for?
them:A Mistress
Me: Yes. Have you ever served someone before
them: Yes, I was her total and complete slave
Me:Ok. What kind of things do you like
them:I like to have a Mistress who totally owns me....I will do what ever the Mistress wants.
Me:Ok. What did you enjoy that your Mistress did or had you do
them:What ever pleased her

hehehehehhe.

Ok, I do that in chat all the time. However, in my case, it's in chat with people who have prooved to be total jerks.

PERSON: Kneel, bitch.
Me: No.
PERSON: UR not a slave.
Me: No, I am not your slave I belong to my partner.
PERSON: What do u do for him.
Me: Whatever he wants.
PERSON: What kind of kinky stuff....

-instert your conversation-

I can't imagine being that way in a -real- conversation where I am seriously searching.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 5

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 1:05:58 PM

Atavist

Posts: 124
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I've bumped into this several times on the other side of the aisle. I can only surmise that these people have no experience and are simply attempting to play the role, or something is seriously lacking in their personality. Not a putdown, just an observation.

I suppose some Dom/mes might be attracted to this. It'd be incredibly boring to me after about 12 seconds. If these people are for real, I fear someone could easily do them great harm.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 6

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 1:11:48 PM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

M,

I even had them send me a link to their website that list stories telling me exactly what they want done and how and if done as written, they will be in love forever. It's a hoot.

OOPS wrong state. Oh Well.

Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 1/22/2005 1:23:03 PM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 7

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 1:27:36 PM

LdyAuburn

Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline

I know of one who is actually expecting his Mistress (not found yet) to work outside the home, so he can be a house slave. Sounds good but then he goes on to say so he can do his writing and artwork and of course the housework. Havnt quite worked out where the submission is or the benefit for the dominant

(in reply to RosaB)

Post #: 8

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 4:59:34 PM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

Hello,

I've experienced the same thing, and it gets rather annoying. It says to me that the person is not capable of having a regular conversation, and therefore I lose interest quickly. I also get the "ask me some questions Mistress" subs who seem to treat some chats like an interview. If you have to ask me to ask you some questions, it's obvious that we don't have much of a connection through our conversation.

Be well A/all,
Julie (SecretDomme)

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)

Post #: 9

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 5:55:57 PM

MiladyElaine

Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

Perhaps you guys are needing submissives and not slaves.
Slaves will talk like that. They are not "supposed" to have any interests- their interests are the Mistresses interests. I start making them "jump through My hoops" to see how well they are behaved. I'm not about to say they are all phoneys. Some- if you threaten to end it quickly will start opening up about themselves. Everyone has interests- a human is not a robot however they may wish to portray themselves.

_____________________________

A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to SecretDomme)

Post #: 10

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 6:05:10 PM

LdyAuburn

Posts: 179
Joined: 5/9/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MiladyElaine

Slaves will talk like that. They are not "supposed" to have any interests- their interests are the Mistresses interests. I.

Perhaps, but they should be able to say what they have done before, eg personal service, housework, they are good at boot cleaning

(in reply to MiladyElaine)

Post #: 11

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 6:27:04 PM

NATI

Posts: 177
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

They are not "supposed" to have any interests- their interests are the Mistresses interests.

Who says they aren't supposed to have any interests? I don't think that being a slave as opposed to a sub means that they are required to leave all personality at the door.

(in reply to MiladyElaine)

Post #: 12

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 6:58:56 PM

ShadeDiva

Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

Nor do I.

In my book, ALL humans are *supposed* to have interests.

Be they slaves, submissives, or whatever.

Human first, power role second.

JMO.

~ShadeDiva

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
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HumanFauna
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(in reply to NATI)

Post #: 13

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 7:24:52 PM

Atavist

Posts: 124
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

Ditto.

Vanilla, sub or slave it makes no difference to me. I want a woman I can share life with and with whom I can have a reasonable conversation.

Each to there own, but I just don't "get" the concept of owning an automoton. A woman's mind is a terrible thing to waste (even when its still largely a mystery to me).

< Message edited by Atavist -- 1/22/2005 7:26:54 PM >

(in reply to ShadeDiva)

Post #: 14

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 7:25:45 PM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Recently, I've been getting a fair amount of mail from male submissives who are within my age and location range. If they are polite, I will write them back, and suggest we chat.

*Note the original quote is refering to submissives, but regardless if we seek submississive verses slaves. When one knows nothing about me, only that I represent myself as being dominant, I think they should make an effort towards discussing what it is they bring to the table other than being a doormat. I especially would want to hear in detail, their understanding of what they believe a slave in a lifestyle relationship would entail. I've played along with a few that come at me with the silly phrases of anything you say Ma'am, I am as you wish me to be. Suddenly when I put them to the test, they choke and have an ah ha moment and say oh i didn't think I would have to do that or I just meant I wanted to be a sex slave, having only sexual things bestowed upon me. I've yet to meet anyone sincere when they say I am yours to do with as you please.

Even if the person applying to me for the position of slave/sub had better have a backbone and be able to think. How else will he know to anticipate and make sure I am cared for at times when I'm just not feeling 100%. Besides, even slaves may serve different purposes for different Masters/Mistress'. I may just want a slave that can entertain me with their great knowledge the of the arts, wine selections, poetry, history, to name a few things of interest. For me a slave doesn't have to be a mindless, passive thoughtless twit. I may want a slave/sub that can entertain me with his creativity his gifts he's learned from life's challenges. Personally, I like alpha males, slave or otherwise. It's important to me that he can hold his own ground to serve and protect his Mistress.

Everyone wants something different, but Unless I'm running an estate that requires a certain type of applicant or I specifically state in my profile that I am looking for a slave without voice, then I want some kind of give and take when first having a dialog with someone I don't know and who doesn't know me.

Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 1/22/2005 7:49:26 PM >

(in reply to NATI)

Post #: 15

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 7:37:07 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I ask them to write Me an email to tell Me what drives their submission--I tell them NOT to mention sex, but what is in their soul, their heart- why do they need this-- and to detail past experiences again not mentioning anything sexual----this weeds out a good 98%, if they are a true sub/slave. they can tell You what and why, the others wont respond--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to RosaB)

Post #: 16

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/22/2005 8:36:45 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadeDiva

In my book, ALL humans are *supposed* to have interests.

Be they slaves, submissives, or whatever.

Human first, power role second. JMO. ~ShadeDiva

I agree with you ShadeDiva,
I'd like for them to have a personality for me to work with, than defer to me out of submission/respect.

As for the slaves to which MiLadyElaine refers to, I'd like to know some; because thus far, the "slaves" I'm meeting only think they are slaves because they're into extreme play (read= scat/bisexuality)/pain, Not because they'll necessarily play in whatever manner I ask... M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 1/22/2005 8:39:45 PM >

(in reply to ShadeDiva)

Post #: 17

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/23/2005 8:51:59 AM

MiladyElaine

Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

LOL- I thought that statement would get a rise from the females especially!
The slaves I refer to, BlkTallFullFig, are not over here- well maybe one or two...

_____________________________

A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 18

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/23/2005 7:33:12 PM

sarbonn

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline

The funny thing about this is happens to be that I am probably one of those people who is seeking exactly what that individual was seeking in the intitial conversation. But I've learned that asking that way is ridiculous, and seeking it that way is also as ridiculous. Who is going to be interested in a submissive who has zero thoughts to how the relationship will be able to evolve?

Lately, a friend of mine and I have been actually discussing this type of arrangement. Unlike some of the fantasies of the slave staying home and the dominant working, or even the other way around, we're both sensible adults who realize that we're both about a year or so away from achieving our Ph.D.s in the same discipline. As such, we've had numerous conversations about how such a relationship would work out if it was ever pursued for real. I kind of doubt it's ever going to actually happen, as we're too close of friends to ever become mistress and slave (yes, I've realized that already because every time we discuss making it real, I start to suspect that I'm the only one of the two of us ever willing to go that far into the relationship).

The point is: such a fantasy IS realizable, but it has to be seen through the eyes of reality first. I'd feel stupid if I was ever a submissive living off the income of my mistress, unless she was just filthy rich and it wasn't even an issue. But considering neithre Madonna nor Shania Twain is willing to take ownership over me, that probably isn't going to happen. Now, I could be the only breadwinner in the relationship, but as I have always sought after someone with brilliance, usually meaning someone proud in whatever field she is working, converting to a one income relationship is almost like asking her to quit work to become a stay at home domme. That doesn't seem to work either.

So, at least in my fantasy relationship that I keep discussing with my potential domme who probably won't ever take ownership over me, it all seems to make sense. We've discussed it quite well so that we both know that such a thing could work for the betterment of both of us. So, even if it doesn't happen with her, then at least I realize that such a circumstance can happen, even if it has to be in the future with someone else seeking the same thing.

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to mistressR)

Post #: 19

RE: Mistress or Baby Sitter? - 1/24/2005 5:57:38 AM

pantera

Posts: 210
Joined: 1/7/2005
Status: offline

I have actually had great experiences with my chats. That is probably due to the fact that I only continue chatting with those I find interesting. Even if he is a slave, he still has to be a person and that is what I've had so far.

They are cute, the make me laugh, they tell me about themselves, hey! they even make me wet sometimes! LOL!!!!

the local ones know that I could never meet them real time, I don't lie to them. Our conversations include a lot of topics and I actually have a lot of fun.

I think it may be a good idea to re-read our profiles and state exactly what we DO NOT want, and then if they still do it....well, then they're dum-

You know what's funny? Chatting with a regular guy - ... they don't have a clue-

(in reply to sarbonn)

Post #: 20

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