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RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/12/2006 3:52:26 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterNdorei

Recently i attended a submissive's meeting where the topics were about how we would handle given scenerios. This one got quite a variation of answers up for discussion....
How would you handle it if you are at a party/dungeon where another slave/sub/bottom starts hanging around you and your partner, and before long is referring to Him/Her by the same title with which you use to address Him/Her.
Has this happened to anyone in real time?
If it did, how would you react?

Master's dorei




Inwardly I'd be pretty disgusted.  Outwardly I'd probably just continue to smile and at some point find some reason to movethefuckawayfromthatcrazybitch.

C~

Edited to add:  I'd consider it completely his problem, and not mine (which is why I'd continue to simply be polite).


< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 10/12/2006 3:53:41 PM >

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/12/2006 4:49:43 PM   
sanita


Posts: 338
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline 		Either online, or in person, when someone tries to call my Master "Master," He explains that that name is reserved. i have a feeling "Sugarbritches" would not be warmly acknowledged, either.
 
If He tells someone not to call Him that, and they persist, He gets me, introduces me, and encourages them to go away.
 
Heck, if someone who does not know me addresses me as "slave," or "my dear." Master manages to insert Himself into the conversational space.
 
Actually, we had a woman travel 1200 miles to "visit" us when she was in a bad situation. He had expressed to her that though she is a sub/masochist, this would be a friendly visit, and He was not interested in dominating her. i'll tell you what: she could whine about how horny she was and how much she needed a spanking day in and day out because Master was not interested, and it only annoyed Him. But when she tried to get into the kitchen first to make Him His hot tea, when she knew darned well from months of chatting and talking that that was one of my special little services (His daughter in the house prevents overt D/s or BDSM interaction)...
 
...Well, then i had to do some muscling. i was not rude, but darned tooting, she was not allowed to come into my house and serve my Master in a way that usurped me.
 
i guess her story would fall into the scamming post. *l* i'll think about putting it there.
 
Anyway, amused, but assured that it will be addressed by Master. Ready to act as a deflective sheild when necessary, though.

_____________________________

Sometimes, He calls me "subbie." Sometimes, i call me "subbie." And if someone wants to call me a BBW, its flattering. Just don't call me false.

"Please do not show me your ass and expect me to read your mind." -Opencollar

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/12/2006 8:54:57 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		My Master has been in the scene for 15 years, long before He met me.  We have played publicly several times and I have met many subs who are friends with Him.  Many of them call Him "Sir" and some call Him by His given name.  He has told me that some of His former subs still refer to Him as "Daddy" when they talk to each other.  I have never heard it from a former sub up to now, but I know that many of His vanilla friends and co-workers call Him "Big Daddy."  That doesn't bother me.  "Master" is mine though... 

Once there was a girl who was an online friend who began to refer to my Master as her "Daddy."  This was not done in a playful way, but as a means to be subversive.  When He saw how angry it made me, He jokingly called me His "redheaded firecracker."  I was still very new to the dynamics of our relationship and extremely protective (as I still am) of what we share.  Efforts to explain to her how this was hurtful to me (spoken by Master and myself), and to please stop it, fell on deaf ears.  An immediate ending of our online friendship followed.

My Master has quite a bit of respect given to Him when we are out, and it makes me proud.  I have never seen Him play with another sub before, but I will soon.  One of His old friends wants to have a scene with Him and I will be there as well, if not to assist with the equipment, than to watch.  This might have made me squirrelly a year ago, but now, I am just proud that my Master is seen with admiration and that others like His style of play. 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to bmercurt)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/12/2006 11:18:44 PM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Master and i seldom attend functions, so this has never occured with U/us. i believe my reaction would be to behave as if it were not happening, and allow Master to determine how to handle things.... or not handle things, as He sees fit. Having had this question poised allowed me to think about it, and hopefully allow any real time situation to be handled calmly and with grace.

i have enjoyed reading the different responses to this post. The reactions show greatness in all the many different dynamics that encompass our lifestyle, and that is what i miss most about being hours away from lifestyle events. Thanks to A/all who posted.

Be Well~*
Master's dorei

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/13/2006 3:29:44 PM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Along with others, I think it would amuse me.  Probably it would Master also, because I would never even call him that till the collar was on.  I don't care if they call him "Sir", to me that is a sign of respect, but I would hope Master would correct anyone calling him "Master", as he watches me bite my tongue off to keep from saying anything myself.
 
Masters Akasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to bmercurt)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/13/2006 3:33:01 PM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterNdorei

Recently i attended a submissive's meeting where the topics were about how we would handle given scenerios. This one got quite a variation of answers up for discussion....
How would you handle it if you are at a party/dungeon where another slave/sub/bottom starts hanging around you and your partner, and before long is referring to Him/Her by the same title with which you use to address Him/Her.
Has this happened to anyone in real time?
If it did, how would you react?

Master's dorei




Well, since I don't refer to my Dom by a title in my interaction with him or others, at his request, I would find it to be downright hilarious if someone else started to.

behindmirrors.

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/13/2006 8:01:06 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Inwardly gritting my teeth, outwardly smiling..I would hope Sir would correct subversive sub politely but firmly.But if he did not, then possibly later I would politely ask him why?.....Tempting

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/13/2006 9:11:07 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		I would bite my tongue and stand, kneel or sit where i was when they approached.  It would be up to Him to decide what He would do from there.  That in itself would tell me where i fit in His life.  Frequently when we are out in the community others will approach Him.  He has been part of the community for several years while i am a relative newby to it.  If they are doing it in front of me atleast i know it is going on.  If He were hiding it from me we would be finished just as it would be over if i wanted to play and approached someone else without His permission.  Then depending upon my ability to have private words with the other sub i would explain to them how i felt about their actions.  I would also make sure my Dom knew i was planning to do so before i had that quiet moment.  We are a couple and most accept us as such although at the munch the other night a sub i did not know did ask me for permission to tossle His hair.  I smiled and referred her to Him for permission.  It was nice that she asked me and i appreciated it But i do not give permission for someone to touch Him only He gives that permission.  And of course she was right His hair is beautiful and wonderful and oh what was the topic again.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to bmercurt)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/13/2006 9:15:35 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Angel has been through this with a former pet of mine.  It wasnt at a club, its an ongoing thing.
His reaction is pity, actually.  He feels bad for this poor misguided boy who is trying to get my attention. He knows how important he is to me. He has never worried about competition.
He figures, as I have been told, if I chose to take someone else, that was my decision.  He just doesnt see any other male as competition.  Females worry him a bit more.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to bmercurt)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/14/2006 11:26:55 AM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Since I call him "Sir" it's difficult to think that other subs/slaves would not do the same.  I don't think anything of it really.  He calls me "heart" in their presence, however, and makes it very clear that I am His so there is no mistaking the situation.  If someone tried to be more intimate than I was comfortable with, I would do/say nothing to that person, but would make my feelings known to Sir at which time it would be up to him to decide what to do.  He has always been very cognizant of my feelings, so I have no doubt that He would do/say anything that would put me in a bad situation.

But... we do not do the club scene anyway.  The only real contact with other subs are those that we meet for "play" and the relationship is usually set before anything happens.  In those cases, He doesn't expect them to use any formalities, as they are not His subs/slaves, but generally they do show respect... it's hard NOT to. :)

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/17/2006 4:22:16 PM   
sintralgasub


Posts: 31
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

'A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet'.
Others may address my Sir as they wish but it changes nothing that He is still my Sir.


I was trying to think of a way to say this very same thing.  I agree with missturbation.

A side note, being from the South, I was raised to say "Yes Ma'am , No Ma'am, Yes Sir, No Sir" as respect to anyone in authority, or an elder.  I hadn't thought about it until this post that it might cause ill feelings or discomfort.  I will be more aware since I do not wish to cause this type of feeling.

(in reply to missturbation)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/17/2006 6:27:58 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		<shrugs> what the heck do I care?? all that matters to us what we call each other within our own relationship. Outside stuff is just that.. outside stuff.. why give it more power than it actually has??

I do have to try calling Him Sugar britches one time though... just to see what would happen...<not so innocent look>

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to sintralgasub)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/18/2006 2:49:08 PM   
Shylahgirl


Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		That's happened to me.
 
Honsetly I don't mind. If someone wants to call my Dom "Sir" then I'm fine with that... it's just a term of respect
 
Shylah

(in reply to bmercurt)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/18/2006 7:37:47 PM   
cinderella221972


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		i see may response is similar to some others.  It would be Master's decision how to handle it, not mine.

respectfully, cin {Jon's girl}


_____________________________

respectfully, BigBearrrr's girl, cindy
:) definitely NOT vanilla :)

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/19/2006 6:33:53 AM   
girlZita


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: afeathr

Since I call him "Sir" it's difficult to think that other subs/slaves would not do the same. 


I'm in the same boat. The term "Master" is reserved in our Family for use by his alpha slave only, so Sir it is. I know the difference in my heart when I say the word versus when others are using it for politeness, though, and I know he does, too.

At his feet,
Zita

(in reply to afeathr)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/19/2006 1:09:12 PM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Good point... I suppose we know that too, and that's why I don't worry about it.  :)

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to girlZita)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/19/2006 1:22:05 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterNdorei

Recently i attended a submissive's meeting where the topics were about how we would handle given scenerios. This one got quite a variation of answers up for discussion....
How would you handle it if you are at a party/dungeon where another slave/sub/bottom starts hanging around you and your partner, and before long is referring to Him/Her by the same title with which you use to address Him/Her.
Has this happened to anyone in real time?
If it did, how would you react?

Master's dorei

quote:



It HAS happened.  Knowing the humorous side of the one i was with at the time, who just enjoys his ego being stroked and who also has a healthy arrogance about him, it was utterly amusing to watch the interplay.  i was entertained by the whole scenario. *grin 



(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/21/2006 11:31:54 PM   
SiannaLillim


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		I myself have this problem, being raised a Southerner. I say "Sir" and "Ma'am" as a term of respect and never thought about how other submissives would feel if I were to address their dominant in that fashion. Definitely something to keep in mind though!

-Sianna


_____________________________

"Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the Law, Love under Will."
---Aleister Crowley

(in reply to sintralgasub)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/30/2006 6:21:44 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		I asked my Dom about this when you first posted the question.  It has never happened, so I asked hypothetically. 

He was a tiny bit insulted.  His take was that he would handle it - pretty much tell her without malice to go away.  But, honestly ... I'd be split in emotion.  First, I'd laugh because the sub would be barking up the wrong tree, second, I would be a bit annoyed just for the pure sake of disrespect towards me - and/or total cluelessness on their part.  My annoyance would last for 10 seconds and I'd get on with my life.

< Message edited by babysburnin -- 10/30/2006 6:23:06 PM >

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: When another calls Him/Her... - 10/30/2006 6:26:09 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		On the phone with Angel, I just asked him if it would bother him if someone else caled me Maam in front of him.  I had to laugh at his answer.
"You teach karate... I am used to a class of 20 shouting it at you every few minutes, I doubt another perosn or two woudl really change much."

Guess that answers that.  If someone else called me Goddess I am sure he'd have far more of an objection.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to babysburnin)
Profile   Post #: 40
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