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Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 3:59:10 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
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Which do you think is a more important quality for a submissive or slave to possess, a good attitude toward serving or good behavior?

For me, I'm a believer that if one has a willing mind, they can be taught anything. Good behavior without a good attitude to match makes it seem like a submissive or slave is just going through the motions and makes me wonder if service is as "selfless" as I prefer or if reward is the true motivation rather than the service.

Your thoughts? Also, why do you think this way?

Thank you in advance for your answers.

LBO

Post #: 1

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 4:14:39 AM

Iskander

Posts: 264
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline

Definately attitude.. For pretty much the same reasons you state..

Behaviour changes from relationship to relationship anyway, what one Dominant wants is not the same as what another might want...

Iskander...

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 2

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 4:25:38 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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Attitude - a person with the compatable attitude will rarely 'misbehave' in any way to your expectations and visa versa (from a s-types point of view)

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 3

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 4:33:06 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

attitude. i get stuff wrong alllll the time so my behaviour can be pretty crap... but i'm a good sub... honest!

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 4

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 4:35:22 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

M. LBO-

While both are imporant, I am thinking that behavior, or more accuratly (for me) performance, is going to count for more.

All the good intenions and willingness in the world fades alongside a pattern of missed dates, failed assignments, etc...

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 5

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 4:42:47 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Attitude. A person needs a good attiutude and the right attitude to excel as a sub/slave. A person can fake good behavior and just go through the motions to get what they want.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 6

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 5:09:38 AM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
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I would think attitude was more important. Anyone can obey, but if the attitude sucks, then it's not worth it.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 7

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 5:16:36 AM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
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I have to agree with the rest of the posters that attitude is the most important. I find for me that if my attitude is right then my behavior usually gets in line and behaves.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Tikkiee)

Post #: 8

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 5:21:05 AM

deltadawn

Posts: 224
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

Which do you think is a more important quality for a submissive or slave to possess, a good attitude toward serving or good behavior?

For me, I'm a believer that if one has a willing mind, they can be taught anything. Good behavior without a good attitude to match makes it seem like a submissive or slave is just going through the motions and makes me wonder if service is as "selfless" as I prefer or if reward is the true motivation rather than the service.

Your thoughts? Also, why do you think this way?

Thank you in advance for your answers.

LBO

In agreeance. Attitude is the most important. I can actually hear him saying it right now....."Attitude adjustment needed?"

dawn

_____________________________

Beneath his wings, I can fly.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 9

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 5:31:44 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Your behavior is based on your attitude at the time. Get a mood ring. It might help tell you how things are going to go.

(in reply to deltadawn)

Post #: 10

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 6:13:33 AM

LeatherBentOne

Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

Can I borrow yours?

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 11

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 6:24:48 AM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Attitude. If someone has a good attitude, they will likely adjust behavior as appropriate when corrected. However, there are also those who pay lip service to attitude but never follow through with action. They go hand in hand. I would rather have someone who had a genuine positive attitude and willingness to learn proper behavior. If that person was, for whatever reason, incapable or unwilling to adjust the behavior, though, it would not work out.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 12

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 6:35:38 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

Attitude is the foundation for behavior. Without the right attitude behavior is almost certainly to be lacking.

I would think we all have experienced someone ruining something, often on purpose, because their attitude is so negative to something they are doing, but how many have had a problem with someone who's attitude is so positive and passionate?

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 13

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 7:44:30 AM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline

I think that the question asked is somewhat unreasonable in the choices offered. How can you possibly pick one over the other when it is the combination of the two aspects that helps to define us as submissives/slaves. Without one or the other, we become more along the lines of a bottom who is into the sensations of play. To be a submissive/slave, there is both the need to have the attitude of submission as well as the behavior of obedience.

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 14

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 7:52:15 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

Which do you think is a more important quality for a submissive or slave to possess, a good attitude toward serving or good behavior?

For me, I'm a believer that if one has a willing mind, they can be taught anything. Good behavior without a good attitude to match makes it seem like a submissive or slave is just going through the motions and makes me wonder if service is as "selfless" as I prefer or if reward is the true motivation rather than the service.

Your thoughts? Also, why do you think this way?

Thank you in advance for your answers.

LBO

I don't think you can have good behavior without a good attitude especially in a Ds relationship.

A person might technically be going through the motions but do those motions hold much meaning without the sincere attitude?

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 15

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 7:53:15 AM

charismagirrl

Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

IMO
Even though i am naturally submissive to my Daddy and do my best to keep a good attitude, sometimes it will falter. Even in those times the most important thing is to obey which is a behavior.

All the intentions in the world can't take the place of the proper actions.

So although a great attitude toward everything i do is optimal and something to strive for, the proper behavior should be done in all cases regardless of a good/bad attitude. Even if it means that my head isn't in it at the moment or that my Daddy just has to say to me "I don't give a fuck how you feel about it right now-JUST DO IT young lady"

_____________________________

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

http://www.mycollarspace.com

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

Post #: 16

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 7:59:57 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

FR

When it comes to a particular moment or order- I care about the obedience.

When it comes to general day to day life- I care about the attitude.

All a matter of perspective.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to charismagirrl)

Post #: 17

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 8:10:33 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Personally, the question of whether attitude or behavior has primacy is rather akin to asking which I prefer; breathing or heart beating. They're both a necessity, and having the best lungs in the world cannot make up for the cessation of my heart beating.

Other than as a philosophical exercise (which I thoroughly enjoy, so don't get the impression that I'm denigrating it) it isn't a functional question in the context of my life, or my relationships.

An interesting, if utterly worthless contribution to the thread.

John

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 18

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 8:25:25 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

Which do you think is a more important quality for a submissive or slave to possess, a good attitude toward serving or good behavior?

Behavior will often be a good indicator of the attitude. i have a dominant friend who has often used the phrase "let me give them enough rope to see if they hang themselves with it, or weave a nice tapestry." He says that when he first meets a potential sub/slave, that he simply allows that person to be themselves and he compares their actions to their words. After the second meeting he pretty much has enough to make a descision.

For me, I'm a believer that if one has a willing mind, they can be taught anything. Good behavior without a good attitude to match makes it seem like a submissive or slave is just going through the motions and makes me wonder if service is as "selfless" as I prefer or if reward is the true motivation rather than the service.

Acting the part fades over time for it is not natural. A good attitude is born from a mindset of principles and beliefs that one lives by. The body will often betray "lipsevice". Just my personal observations. Body language is very revealing with regards to attitude.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 19

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 8:27:01 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

i think possessing both...the correct attitude, and consistently obedient behavior...is mandatory. i can't see my Master being happy with either one without the other.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 20

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