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RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 8:49:37 AM

Steelriven

Posts: 300
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline

Attitude... Why? I um... have been known to ah... er misbehave a little bit hehe. However, it's my attitude that counts on whether I am misbehaving or being a bitch, or need to adjust my attitude.

I do think you have to have a good attitude in order to serve. Hell it's good to be that way in general. Then again when I serve, it's more of because I want to, and he enjoys it. Not because I am being submissive.

_____________________________

steelriven who's just a lil_twisted

-Don't asume, instead ask.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 21

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 9:38:20 AM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

A for attitude

B for behaviour

....how about

C for commitment? I think that combines the other two.

...I'm imagining a BDSM alphabet book....

(in reply to Steelriven)

Post #: 22

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/11/2006 9:53:41 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

I think attitude is more important-if a sub/slave is not 100 per cent about his/her orientation then they could slip up and behave in a way not conducive to submission,where as if they have the right attitude they will be much more aware of what they do day to day and care about being a slave or a sub that much more.......that's what I think anyway!.

HalloweenWhite.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 23

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/13/2006 8:58:34 PM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

If my attitude is not right my actions are not right either. They may be the behavior that my Dom wants to see but not what He wants to feel and as such i will have failed to please Him. And yes perhaps i could fake it but that is not honest and if i can't have an honest relationship with my Dom i need to move on because something in the relationship has gone wrong.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 24

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/13/2006 9:40:02 PM

MasterNdorei

Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

This thread is very like a similar one i read somwehere.... which is better: surrender or obedience?

i believe each serves a purpose.

One who is able to surrender internally has a better attitude, but might also have difficulties in complying when the given task is a challenge.

Obedience is a wonderful thing, especially when one is challenged internally, and can still carry out the given task.

A good combination might be to offer obedience during the times we are unable to naturally surrender, but be equally committed to maintaining a pleasing attitude regardless?

Humbly,
Master's dorei

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

Post #: 25

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/14/2006 2:50:55 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Attitude wins hands down in my book...

With the right attitude... I can effect the behaviors I want and desire

but changing attitude is a slow and sometimes painful process.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 26

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/14/2006 3:02:25 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I think both are equally important.

People can have a "concept" which effects their attitude but when it all comes down to it, they need to be able to "apply".

I know being a water sign, sometimes just by thinking or feeling something I think I've already done it (Lotsa idealistic thoughts etc, dreamy floaty kinda person). Application is an earthy concept to me and takes hard work and constant attention.

So basically as a slave, I need both of those things to work hand in hand...but to be honest I know I do rely in Master a lot to get me back to earth and do all those things that are in my mind and to help me apply my very best of intentions.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 27

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/14/2006 3:08:16 PM

MASTERRocker

Posts: 277
Joined: 9/19/2006
From: Kitchener-Waterloo, ON
Status: offline

It is possible to 'behave' well and appropriate; but your 'attitude' is still unbecoming and needing attention.

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 28

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/14/2006 7:14:52 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Attitude is the most important as far as my Master and I are concerned. If a person has a surly attitude but does everything you ask, it makes for a really tense atmosphere. (Thinking of a bratty kid doing what they have been told, but being a real pain in the ass about it.)

My Master has asked me before if I need a few minutes to get myself "in check" or if He needed to intervene. I've surprised myself at how quickly I can snap back to being pleasant.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 29

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/14/2006 7:58:16 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear LeatherBentOne, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Attitude and good behavior are very important qualities. However, the attitude influences behavior, so I see in my mind's eye; that the good attitude is the strong hand and behavior is the weak hand of which both do compliment each other when they join.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 30

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/25/2006 6:13:12 PM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

Which do you think is a more important quality for a submissive or slave to possess, a good attitude toward serving or good behavior?

For me, I'm a believer that if one has a willing mind, they can be taught anything. Good behavior without a good attitude to match makes it seem like a submissive or slave is just going through the motions and makes me wonder if service is as "selfless" as I prefer or if reward is the true motivation rather than the service.

Your thoughts? Also, why do you think this way?

Thank you in advance for your answers.

LBO

Perhaps i'm unusual, but perhaps i'm just more realistic. i read posts of slaves/subs who say pleasing their Dom/Master is the be all and end all of everything. Ahem! Really? Well, i have some swampland for sale - Interested?

Okay, i know, i'm being sarcastic. The reason is that i'm human first - always was and always will be. my attitude and behavior change from day to day and there's really not much i can do about that. i can obey - sometimes i'm delighted, othertimes i'm not, but i can obey. So attitude is very dependent on many things for me - some of which have absolutely nothing to do with my Master. When i'm struggling though i do go to Master for help - He has ways of adjusting my attitude.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 31

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/25/2006 7:20:06 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Attitude...the behavior follows when the dynamic is a good match...Tempting

(in reply to slavemaia)

Post #: 32

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/25/2006 7:26:56 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

Who needs attitude or behavior when you have

(pause for emphasis)

duct tape.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 33

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/26/2006 5:52:14 AM

ExtremeOwnerIL

Posts: 197
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherBentOne

Which do you think is a more important quality for a submissive or slave to possess, a good attitude toward serving or good behavior?

Your thoughts? Also, why do you think this way?

Thank you in advance for your answers.

LBO

Mindset is everything. As you say, without attitude, what does the behavior actually serve?

If someone has a good mindset, then they are open to possibilities and to the things that brought them to me in the first place. Being open means that the behaviors can be taught to them and they will respond.

I think this way from hard experience. I've been with a slave whose mindset was not matched with me, nor my mindset to her. The relationship was toxic and took me quite awhile to recover from. I've seen too many submissives of both genders have a mindset of "it's all about me"; their behavior was correct for the situation, but the energy - it wasn't a flow between two people, rather it was an energy sink.

Interesting question.
Regards,
EO

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 34

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/26/2006 5:57:22 AM

Kalira

Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Who needs attitude or behavior when you have

(pause for emphasis)

duct tape.

Sinergy

LMAO that is soooooooooo true.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 35

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/26/2006 6:01:03 AM

Mistrix

Posts: 186
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline

IMO I believe with a good attitude comes health. How is my sub to have a good positive attitude, if he's sick, tired, lonely or angry about something that's where HALT comes in (hungry, angry, lonely, tired). If all of those are replenished then I believe I will have a good behaving sub. Communication is so important too. Also with attitude comes gra titude. If he feels grateful in our relatinship and with all of life around him I am bound to have a good boy. That's just from experience.

_____________________________

I am a Woman, above everything else.

One is too many and a thousand is never enough.

(in reply to Steelriven)

Post #: 36

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/26/2006 6:33:57 AM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline

Im of the belief that a subslave should have both elements in order. Otherwise, Im like you in that I share the mindset that shes just 'going through the motions' which to Me is half-heartedness in their servitude in which case there is no reward.

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 37

RE: Attitude vs. Behavior - 10/26/2006 7:29:30 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I don't often have to *serve* as such.....I have to do as I'm requested. My attitude to that is variable and so is my behaviour.

What sets this relationship apart from others that I've had is that I am not false.

I am free, really free to be myself and if I don't want to do something...it shows, if my attitude is crap, that shows too.........in past relationships, I'd hide that and *I* wasn't being honest; I was afraid to be honest.

In effect, my Master has got the worst of me but he's the one person that managed to get ALL of me.

I have MY attitude, sometimes it's clearly a good one, a positive and beneficial one and sometimes it's rather less than that.... ditto my behaviour.

Sometimes I DO *go through the motions* because I do NOT want to do things.....that's fine by him because at times ALL he wants is for me to do it, regardless. At those times he doesn't really care what my attitude is.

The way I regard my relationship, and my place within it, is what matters, overall........if my attitude, in that respect, was one of merely *doing what needs to be done*......that would also be very clear.

I'm not sure which is the better quality but I know that if a *better attitude OR better behaviour* is required, he's perfectly capable of ensuring that it occurs.

agirl

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)

Post #: 38

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