The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Landscaping

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Landscaping

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Landscaping

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Landsca... - 10/12/2006 7:32:47 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

New London's ambience is that of a purgatorial hothouse, conducive to the cultivation of all things lacking in spirit: alcoholism, prostitution, self-loathing, apathy, cocaine. Now, I've claimed to hate alot of things, mind you, but I despise New London's inertia most of all. At least the Big Apple serves up an exhaustive palette of variety with it's alienation, but here........here is a Stygian crossroads that makes "The Glass Menagerie" seem like a feel-good, seventies sitcom.

I've started to get way too comfortable New London........complacent.......stagnant........a domesticated animal. Nowadays, I'm not sure if I could differentiate between the stench of a crackwhore's polluted snapper, and a bouquet of mountain-fresh, sunshine-nurtured wildflowers. My once-keen sense of emotional discernment is shot all to hell from rainy weekends spent saucing it up with old, curmudgeonly drunkards at Earnie's Cafe................Selah. They all wear mismatched Salvation Army throwaways, and steel-toe boots for the hellish Labor Ready work parties.

Most of these winos earn their beloved booze subsidies from excursions to "landscaping" or "construction" sites. Ask any homeless sot in New London what he does for a living, and I'll bet you a buffalo nickel that he'll tell you "landscaping." I've gotta say that landscaping itself is an honest, honorable profession, but in this seaside town, it's pretty much a term synonymous with, "I'm a heavy drinkin' bum."

A few weeks ago, I met a young woman in another local dive joint, who claimed to be an "independent contractor." Now, when I think "independent contractor," I think of specialized fields that involve heavy manual labor, or an extensive knowledge of some recondite, hard-to-find skill. To make a long story short, upon further investigation, I learned that the NewLondonSpeak dictionary considers one of the acceptable definitions of "independent contractor" to be STRIPPER. Reminds me of a line from one of the worst comedies ever made: "Don't try to spice up your name, Joe Dirt!!"

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 10/12/2006 8:19:57 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:10:40 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Oh Spanky!! You are never allowed to leave these forum boards without an exchange of email addresses so that I may be on your rant mail list. They just simply make my day.

The next time some guy walks into this shop wanting to order business cards and put "landscape specialist" or "independent contractor" on them I will be trying to explain the laughter.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 2

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:12:06 AM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

::sniff::...

but...I'm an independant contractor too...

_____________________________

Fuck the Pandas!
-Moi

Mmm, I love me some kickboxers, you know why? Cause ya'll cant take a punch!
- Quentin Tarantino.

If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
-Tucker Max

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 3

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:13:49 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rumtiger

::sniff::...

but...I'm an independant contractor too...

You never told us!!! What's your stage name?

(in reply to Rumtiger)

Post #: 4

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:16:15 AM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

Stretchmarks

but next year i'm thinking of going to "Praying Mantits".

< Message edited by Rumtiger -- 10/12/2006 8:22:53 AM >

_____________________________

Fuck the Pandas!
-Moi

Mmm, I love me some kickboxers, you know why? Cause ya'll cant take a punch!
- Quentin Tarantino.

If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
-Tucker Max

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 5

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:17:55 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

You've won the coveted, "TreSwank Spits His Coca-Cola All Over the Keyboard" award for today.

(in reply to Rumtiger)

Post #: 6

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:18:57 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

You know Tre - I'd really like to know if there is someone or something that doesnt piss you off?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Rumtiger)

Post #: 7

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:25:20 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

You know Tre - I'd really like to know if there is someone or something that doesnt piss you off?

E

Sure. How about this?

http://blancheonline.net/Bilder/xxl-01-02.jpg

"Thank you for being a friend"

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 10/12/2006 8:29:24 AM >

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 8

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:31:42 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

LOL..is this some kind of a joke?

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 9

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:32:35 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I need to buy you a drink. You are just too amusing.

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 10

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:32:45 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

What do you mean? No, it's not a joke. New London IS a shitty place. It might not be Newark, or Camden, New Jersey........but the town is noted for having an extremely disproportionate number of the homeless and socio-economically disadvantaged. I guess that it's just the refuse from nearby New York, escaping from the "City That Never Sleeps", into the grizzled, whaling village that never dies, despite wishful thinking.

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 10/12/2006 8:53:22 AM >

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 11

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:33:20 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 12

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:36:54 AM

Rumtiger

Posts: 2634
Joined: 3/4/2006
From: Vegas
Status: offline

Wheres my drink?

_____________________________

Fuck the Pandas!
-Moi

Mmm, I love me some kickboxers, you know why? Cause ya'll cant take a punch!
- Quentin Tarantino.

If they cant take a joke, fuck em.
-Tucker Max

(in reply to Bearlee)

Post #: 13

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 8:39:34 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

When I get to Vegas I'll buy you one too.

(in reply to Rumtiger)

Post #: 14

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 9:17:53 AM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

Tre, old boy. I'm confused. With this post, and your many other posts that contain graphic descriptions of substance abuse, your comments that you've already destroyed a career, and Aileen offering to buy you a drink: Didn't you once post that you were "in the program"? A friend of Bill W.'s? Did I get that wrong?

If so, why are you hanging out in bars?

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 15

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 9:46:51 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

Tre, old boy. I'm confused. With this post, and your many other posts that contain graphic descriptions of substance abuse, your comments that you've already destroyed a career, and Aileen offering to buy you a drink: Didn't you once post that you were "in the program"? A friend of Bill W.'s? Did I get that wrong?

If so, why are you hanging out in bars?

E.

I didn't go to Alcoholics Anonymous by choice. At the time I was being pushed through the work-related program, the sole reason was that I had been busted a few times drinking underage, and my "supervisory element" really wanted to hang onto me. During a few drunken incidents, I made some rash decisions that, in the end, made my once-blooming career nonexistent Although I do choose to drink heavily as a sort of spiritual palliative and boredom control, I am not an alcoholic by any stretch of the term. I'm now old enough to go into bars like a big boy, unfettered by the constraints of legality..........without the fear of being thrown in a fucking military jail to rot for a few months, where you have to stand at attention, and scream whether you want permission to take a standing, or sitting "head call." With no college education, an "okay" paying job, and a bleak homestead, there ain't much sunshine in these here parts, Hoss. Nobody should ever have to feel jaded and worldly at the age of twenty-two. It's alright............I love folks who have learned to laugh at their misery. Once of my best pals at work (with an astonishing resemblance to Paul Newman), tells me WITH A SMILE that he wakes up every morning saying, "I'm not gonna make it" over and over again.

Oh yeah............and intoxicated, single (or "not so single") women who are looking for "physical" friendship hang out in bars. Something about the mix of booze and copulation just touches my heart like a bedroom confession.

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 10/12/2006 10:11:46 AM >

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 16

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 12:31:44 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

You need to escape, your existence sounds like my hometown,... beautiful and bleak all at the same time.. and then there was "This is my brother Daryl and my other brother Daryl" Bob Newhart Show thing going on too. You will rot if you stay

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 10/12/2006 12:32:23 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 17

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 12:46:56 PM

Argentopal

Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline

hey - many moons ago in a time that should be forgotten I lived in New London.
Well, that's a lie. I lived in Norwich but my daughter was born on the naval base there.
Perhaps the landscapers and independent contractor are all spies?

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 18

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 1:02:01 PM

BalletBob

Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Spies? That wouldn't be Boris and Natasha would it? Maybe we should get the Vice President and his trusty Shot Gun ready. I thought it looked like Mr. Big running for some elected position.

Waiting for Halloween, Bob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to Argentopal)

Post #: 19

RE: The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Lan... - 10/12/2006 5:17:35 PM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

You need to escape, your existence sounds like my hometown,... beautiful and bleak all at the same time.. and then there was "This is my brother Daryl and my other brother Daryl" Bob Newhart Show thing going on too. You will rot if you stay

In a sense, it's not as bad as the town I grew up in.........but's that's just because there were NO bars in Southmont, NC.

About three weeks ago, I was hangout out downtown, going from bar to bar............and some bum asked me for fifty cents. Let me tell you - the most disheartening thing in the world is to give a bum fifty cents, after we've already settled on a specific amount, and then to have him ask, "Do ya have a dollar?" When did the homeless aquire the God-given right to haggle when they're panhandling?

Even worse, I see the SAME bum sitting on a downtown stoop a week later (panhandling, of course), when his CELL PHONE rings. First of all, I didn't realize that the homeless had so many important social engagements that might require them to carry a cell phone. Second of all - why the fuck are you asking for money to buy food (translation: drugs and beer) when you can afford a goddamn phone bill?   His phone was NICER THAN MINE.

The more homeless folks that I meet, the more I learn to hate them, day after day.   I seriously don't understand how a small town like this can have a hobo-plague, worse than the one that I saw while visiting Baltimore a few years ago. Per square mile, New York City is SLIGHTLY worse than New London.

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 10/12/2006 5:45:24 PM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 20

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> The Most Negative Post Ever....and I Talk About Landscaping

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125