RE: Safe Calls

RE: Safe Calls (Full Version)

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CrappyDom -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 11:19:13 AM)
I have always found that those who set up elaborate means for things not to go wrong are best avoided as they very much tend to be drama queens and not worth the bother.

mistoferin -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 11:24:50 AM)
Akasha...I'm still not sure if you understand that you and I are in agreement on the safecall issue. I'm sorry if you were offended by what I said. I said it because I hope that in hindsight you can realize that the friend you chose for your safecall was an error in judgement.

Aileen68 -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 11:24:57 AM)
I've never used a safe call. I have no business meeting anyone if I feel even the smallest hint of hesitation. I also use common sense and don't meet them in some creepy remote loacation. Hotels are pretty populated and the stench from my decaying body would eventually draw some attention. I would think.

juliaoceania -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 11:26:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 I've never used a safe call. I have no business meeting anyone if I feel even the smallest hint of hesitation. I also use common sense and don't meet them in some creepy remote loacation. Hotels are pretty populated and the stench from my decaying body would eventually draw some attention. I would think. True...lol

SlaveAkasha -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 11:56:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Akasha...I'm still not sure if you understand that you and I are in agreement on the safecall issue. I'm sorry if you were offended by what I said. I said it because I hope that in hindsight you can realize that the friend you chose for your safecall was an error in judgement. Yes, I see that we agree. Sorry, it does seem that I became defensive. I guess it's because to me, someone I had been friends with for over four years was someone I could depend on. So I can't see it as an error in judgement on my part, it was a lack of dependability on hers. I went over and over when I would call, and what to do. We were agreed that this is how it would all play out. I knew nothing would happen to me, because I did trust who I was with, though I know some meet with those they can't know for sure about. I just worry about those that think a safe call will make everything alright. Since my Master and I are still new together, I do still have my safeword. I did have to use it a couple of times, (which I hate), but nothing I said would have made him stop if he didn't choose to. I talk to some new sub/slaves..and they blow so much off by saying, "I have a safeword.", or "I have a safe call.". It scares me that they would depend on anything but themselves to get them out of a bad situation, or that they might not trust their instincts because they think they have both of those things to fall back on. Peace, Akasha

MsKatHouston -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 12:45:01 PM)
(fast reply) It is my opinion that everyone should be responsible for their own safety. With that said, setting up precautionary measures is not a bad idea. As Sea and others have said, those intending to do harm look to do so with an easy mark. Make it harder for them, they may think twice about doing it. A safe call is certainly not the end all be all safety precaution, in fact I think it is useful but not the best. Using a combination of safety techniques plus that uncommon thing called common sense will take you far in minimizing risks associated with meeting strangers from the Internet.

littleone35 -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 1:40:44 PM)
I think safe calls are a good idea then if God forbid something bad happens people would know to go looking for you. With my Master i did not use one though. The first 3 times we met we did not play (much) we were in public places and talked a lot we also kissed and hugged and cuddled but talked mostly. I knew i was safe with him so the first time we played i felt complety safe being alone with him. That being said i still think all in all safe calls are a good idea. Matt's littleone

ownedgirlie -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 8:22:03 PM)
I think safe calls are good for reassuring a friend's peace of mind that you're okay (at the time you talk) and for being able to locate the person who axed you. I did have a safe call when Master and I first met. I met him at a hotel, where we would spend the night together. I would call my friend, not the other way around, as Master would not be interrupted in his use of me. My friend knew I would call her some time between 11:00 and midnight. She had all of his contact information, and a picture. She had this so she could give it to the police in the event they needed it. It was for her own peace of mind. I made my call. When I hung up I looked at Master and said, "Well I guess you can kill me now." He said "What good would you do me if you were dead?" Point made. I called my friend (for her peace of mind) in the morning when we parted company.

MasterNdorei -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 8:24:38 PM)
i believe nothing will provide 100% safety... but i also believe letting the person you are meeting know you will be making and receiving safe calls at various times throughout the meeting, let's them know someone is watching. This is usually enough to deter those who intend to harm a sub, just as burglars have made it known that a barking dog (even a small one) is usually enough to cause them to chose another house to burglarize... The idea of having code words is another great idea. The purpose of my original post was to add the measure of a final call to a land line at home, so that no one is being forced to say they are home safe when they are not. If anyone has additional ideas for ways to make safe calls more effective, please post them. i am grateful Master has "rescued me" from the dilema of having to meet strangers, but i have many good friends who are still searching. Be Well~* Master's dorei

ownedgirlie -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 8:48:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterNdorei The idea of having code words is another great idea. I totally forgot about this - I did that. My friend asked me what was for dinner. Lasagna meant everything was great. Hot dogs....not so great. :)

Tenebrious -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 9:49:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie My friend asked me what was for dinner. Lasagna meant everything was great. Hot dogs....not so great. :) What would clam chowder mean? :P

ownedgirlie -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 10:35:39 PM)
LOL well since we hadn't set that code up, I suppose it would mean we had clam chowder! (and I hope I had a beer to go with it) [:D]

Tenebrious -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 10:51:32 PM)
What about Spam? Did that mean anything?

juliaoceania -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 10:53:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie LOL well since we hadn't set that code up, I suppose it would mean we had clam chowder! (and I hope I had a beer to go with it) [:D] Or howabout a San Franscisco french bread bowl..... YUM

Tenebrious -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 10:56:46 PM)
Would "green eggs and ham" mean that you would not screw them in a house, or with a mouse, or in a plane, or on a train, or on a boat, or with a goat, or in a tree.......... :P

ownedgirlie -> RE: Safe Calls (10/13/2006 11:37:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie LOL well since we hadn't set that code up, I suppose it would mean we had clam chowder! (and I hope I had a beer to go with it) [:D] Or howabout a San Franscisco french bread bowl..... YUM Mmmmmm.....yummy yummy. Although, I'll be in Santa Cruz next weekend, and therefore will go to Stagneros for my chowder & beer. In SF I'm drawn to Cioppino at Alioto's.... (sorry for the hijack....but a girl needs her chowder)

undergroundsea -> RE: Safe Calls (10/15/2006 11:15:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom I have always found that those who set up elaborate means for things not to go wrong are best avoided as they very much tend to be drama queens and not worth the bother. Elaborate means for things not to go wrong leaves room for interpretation. While it is possible to make the safecall matter overdramatic, I do not think setting up a safecall in itself is a bad sign. You are likely not saying that but I would like to make that clarification for emphasis. I disagree with your post to the extent it discourages or makes one feel guilty about setting up a safecall. I have come across many instances where dominants not only understand but encourage safe calls. I think it would be a good idea for a dominant to proactively encourage the idea of a safecall for it would facilitate more smoothly a conversation that could otherwise be awkward for both. Cheers, Sea

Mavis -> RE: Safe Calls (10/16/2006 2:29:51 AM)
Can't remember if this has been mentioned before... but way more important than a safe call ... both parties knowing exactly where you are. Take post-its, put the address --- and if you're in a hotel --- the room number, on three post-its... tag one on your cell phone, his cell phone, AND the room phone. Even If it's your house, don't forget your visitor won't know the address! If something goes wrong and one has to call 911... address of even your own home can be hard to remember under stress or coming out of subspace. GPS from cell should work, but that wastes valuable time, and i know for a fact Sprint lost me on GPS AS they were talking to me on the phone with the chipset in it... so even that isn't always helpful. (it was only a roadside rescue flat tire call, but was an interesting way to learn how unreliable gps by cell is)

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