RE: the real thing

RE: the real thing (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

gentlethistle -> RE: the real thing (10/16/2006 10:50:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChaOz Hey, I like your profile but its nuts that you said your not willing to be micromanaged, it makes it appear that your not willing to change for a Dom. You have no idea how your Dom will want you to be, so you goto be willing to be a blank canvas and held by the hand like a child given instruction until your training is complete. Its just part of the submission process. No, I don't think she does need to change her profile to say (or not say) anything that she doesn't want to. It may be useful to give your opinion about how particular statements 'come over' to you. But you cannot tell her what it is important for her to express in her own profile. Maybe she isn't willing to change herself for a dom, to be erased and recreated...and what's wrong with that? Better to say it than to attract someone who (as you seem to) believes that it axiomatically is a fundamental part of being 'a submissive'. Nothing is part of any defined process that everyone has to tread. That is your opinion. There are others. Sometimes it's actually worth explicitly saying the things that 'go without saying' because it turns out that they are not shared values which are 'obvious to everyone' at all. Just my opinion, of course... Laura

ChaOz -> RE: the real thing (10/16/2006 10:56:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gentlethistle No, I don't think she does need to change her profile to say (or not say) anything that she doesn't want to. It may be useful to give your opinion about how particular statements 'come over' to you. But you cannot tell her what it is important for her to express in her own profile. Maybe she isn't willing to change herself for a dom, to be erased and recreated...and what's wrong with that? Better to say it than to attract someone who (as you seem to) believes that it axiomatically is a fundamental part of being 'a submissive'. Nothing is part of any defined process that everyone has to tread. That is your opinion. There are others. Sometimes it's actually worth explicitly saying the things that 'go without saying' because it turns out that they are not shared values which are 'obvious to everyone' at all. Just my opinion, of course... Laura Yeah cool point taken, didnt meant to come across that strong but just figured from the profile there might be an impression she wants to dom from the top. Maybe not, was simply bringing up the point as others could read it like that. It just seemed like a catch 22, she wants a strong man but someone who follows her routine which isnt what a strong and powerful Dom would do to the degree she seems to want. Geez though, I wouldnt 'erase' anyone nor would I recommend it, but a powershift forms the basis of the relationship, goto happen to some degree but yeah, grey area I guess.

MisPandora -> RE: the real thing (10/16/2006 11:00:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? Yes it's typical here on CM, now take your clothes off. (Kidding about the clothes part....)

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: the real thing (10/17/2006 6:48:53 PM)
Very typical of the internet..however in meatlife not so much so.The mindthought being that they are covered behind the screen and not really see "the person".Face to face ach! more circumspect in their approach.Amazing when you have to look someone in the eyes how differently one behaves....Tempting

notbad2day -> RE: the real thing (1/16/2008 11:02:24 PM)
They ask you these things in an attempt to gain the upper hand. It has to do with control and with the desire to get you to do their bidding from the start. Remember you have the ability to top from the bottom. Give them their control...do not let them take it. Ciao

AquaticSub -> RE: the real thing (1/16/2008 11:56:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? Jerks happen in all walks of life. Ignore and move on.

laurell3 -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 12:56:55 AM)
Psst this thread is revived from 2006, I'm pretty sure she's moved wayyyyyyyyy on [8D]

AquaticSub -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 1:05:05 AM)
It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. I can't be bothered to look at the date on an OP! [;)]

laurell3 -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 1:07:56 AM)
lol I'm sorry, couldn't resist....make hot cocoa! Cruise porn...wait....that won't make you sleep...

AquaticSub -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 1:10:09 AM)
Nah but I might do the hot cocoa thing. It's been a long day.

DesFIP -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 8:31:56 AM)
So, you've never been approached in a bar by a guy looking for a one night stand? Because this is the same thing with different activities. Just say thanks but no thanks, you're not into casual. And go on to the next.

Dnomyar -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 9:55:38 AM)
Hey if the guy is me say yes.

LaTigresse -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 2:38:39 PM)
I think the expiration date on the troll food is past.....

littlesarbonn -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 2:46:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. I can't be bothered to look at the date on an OP! [;)] Strangely enough, I woke up at 4 in the morning, too, and I couldn't get back to sleep either. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to turn on my computer but kept trying to get back to sleep unsuccessfully.

takenbyjohnr07 -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 3:28:06 PM)
Yes, i have found that 95 percent of them start sexual talk right away. My Owner didn't and i believe that's what attracted me to him.

SimplyMichael -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 5:10:37 PM)
In bdsm it is rude to ask where someone works or lives but fine to ask if they enjoy anal fisting. However, it is rude to interupt a scene after a guy shoots his load and ask "are you going to eat that" if you are hungry.

CalifChick -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 5:19:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael However, it is rude to interupt a scene after a guy shoots his load and ask "are you going to eat that" if you are hungry. And would it have been rude if Jeffrey Dahmer were with Lorena Bobbitt, and he asked her the same question? Cali

AquaticSub -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 6:05:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. I can't be bothered to look at the date on an OP! [;)] Strangely enough, I woke up at 4 in the morning, too, and I couldn't get back to sleep either. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to turn on my computer but kept trying to get back to sleep unsuccessfully. I've given up on tossing and turning. It wakes up Valyraen and I don't see why one of us shouldn't get a good night's sleep!

christine1 -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 6:05:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael However, it is rude to interupt a scene after a guy shoots his load and ask "are you going to eat that" if you are hungry. And would it have been rude if Jeffrey Dahmer were with Lorena Bobbitt, and he asked her the same question? Cali oh hell no! i need to wash that mental image from my brain! (should i go through my nose or my ears with the ivory soap? or maybe i should just swallow it in the upside down position?)

Redoubt -> RE: the real thing (1/17/2008 6:30:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? Yes and No. Even those who have been involved in this lifestyle for years will have moments when they want to shake it up and try something new (even if it may come across as brash and intrusive). Likewise, someone brand new may be able to take things exactly at your pace... you just don't know. The difference between arrogance and confidence is all in the perception of the beholder, only you can decide what works and doesn't work for you. It seems from your profile that you have a good idea of what you are looking for, so don't let a mountain of rubbish stop you from digging for the gold in the pile... good luck on your search.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125