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RE: the real thing - 10/16/2006 10:50:03 PM

gentlethistle

Posts: 186
Joined: 10/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChaOz
Hey, I like your profile but its nuts that you said your not willing to be micromanaged, it makes it appear that your not willing to change for a Dom. You have no idea how your Dom will want you to be, so you goto be willing to be a blank canvas and held by the hand like a child given instruction until your training is complete. Its just part of the submission process.

No, I don't think she does need to change her profile to say (or not say) anything that she doesn't want to. It may be useful to give your opinion about how particular statements 'come over' to you. But you cannot tell her what it is important for her to express in her own profile. Maybe she isn't willing to change herself for a dom, to be erased and recreated...and what's wrong with that? Better to say it than to attract someone who (as you seem to) believes that it axiomatically is a fundamental part of being 'a submissive'.

Nothing is part of any defined process that everyone has to tread. That is your opinion. There are others. Sometimes it's actually worth explicitly saying the things that 'go without saying' because it turns out that they are not shared values which are 'obvious to everyone' at all.

Just my opinion, of course...
Laura

(in reply to ChaOz)

Post #: 21

RE: the real thing - 10/16/2006 10:56:27 PM

ChaOz

Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlethistle

No, I don't think she does need to change her profile to say (or not say) anything that she doesn't want to. It may be useful to give your opinion about how particular statements 'come over' to you. But you cannot tell her what it is important for her to express in her own profile. Maybe she isn't willing to change herself for a dom, to be erased and recreated...and what's wrong with that? Better to say it than to attract someone who (as you seem to) believes that it axiomatically is a fundamental part of being 'a submissive'.

Nothing is part of any defined process that everyone has to tread. That is your opinion. There are others. Sometimes it's actually worth explicitly saying the things that 'go without saying' because it turns out that they are not shared values which are 'obvious to everyone' at all.

Just my opinion, of course...
Laura

Yeah cool point taken, didnt meant to come across that strong but just figured from the profile there might be an impression she wants to dom from the top. Maybe not, was simply bringing up the point as others could read it like that. It just seemed like a catch 22, she wants a strong man but someone who follows her routine which isnt what a strong and powerful Dom would do to the degree she seems to want. Geez though, I wouldnt 'erase' anyone nor would I recommend it, but a powershift forms the basis of the relationship, goto happen to some degree but yeah, grey area I guess.

< Message edited by ChaOz -- 10/16/2006 10:57:39 PM >

(in reply to gentlethistle)

Post #: 22

RE: the real thing - 10/16/2006 11:00:07 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle??

Yes it's typical here on CM, now take your clothes off.

(Kidding about the clothes part....)

< Message edited by MisPandora -- 10/16/2006 11:01:05 PM >

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 23

RE: the real thing - 10/17/2006 6:48:53 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Very typical of the internet..however in meatlife not so much so.The mindthought being that they are covered behind the screen and not really see "the person".Face to face ach! more circumspect in their approach.Amazing when you have to look someone in the eyes how differently one behaves....Tempting

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 24

RE: the real thing - 1/16/2008 11:02:24 PM

notbad2day

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

They ask you these things in an attempt to gain the upper hand. It has to do with control and with the desire to get you to do their bidding from the start. Remember you have the ability to top from the bottom. Give them their control...do not let them take it. Ciao

< Message edited by notbad2day -- 1/16/2008 11:04:07 PM >

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 25

RE: the real thing - 1/16/2008 11:56:28 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle??

Jerks happen in all walks of life. Ignore and move on.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 26

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 12:56:55 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Psst this thread is revived from 2006, I'm pretty sure she's moved wayyyyyyyyy on

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 27

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 1:05:05 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. I can't be bothered to look at the date on an OP!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 28

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 1:07:56 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

lol I'm sorry, couldn't resist....make hot cocoa! Cruise porn...wait....that won't make you sleep...

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 29

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 1:10:09 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Nah but I might do the hot cocoa thing. It's been a *long* day.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 30

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 8:31:56 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

So, you've never been approached in a bar by a guy looking for a one night stand? Because this is the same thing with different activities. Just say thanks but no thanks, you're not into casual. And go on to the next.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ChaOz)

Post #: 31

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 9:55:38 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Hey if the guy is me say yes.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 32

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 2:38:39 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I think the expiration date on the troll food is past.....

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 33

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 2:46:05 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. I can't be bothered to look at the date on an OP!

Strangely enough, I woke up at 4 in the morning, too, and I couldn't get back to sleep either. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to turn on my computer but kept trying to get back to sleep unsuccessfully.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 34

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 3:28:06 PM

takenbyjohnr07

Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Yes, i have found that 95 percent of them start sexual talk right away. My Owner didn't and i believe that's what attracted me to him.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 35

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 5:10:37 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

In bdsm it is rude to ask where someone works or lives but fine to ask if they enjoy anal fisting. However, it is rude to interupt a scene after a guy shoots his load and ask "are you going to eat that" if you are hungry.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)

Post #: 36

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 5:19:29 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

However, it is rude to interupt a scene after a guy shoots his load and ask "are you going to eat that" if you are hungry.

And would it have been rude if Jeffrey Dahmer were with Lorena Bobbitt, and he asked her the same question?

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 37

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 6:05:26 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

It's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. I can't be bothered to look at the date on an OP!

Strangely enough, I woke up at 4 in the morning, too, and I couldn't get back to sleep either. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to turn on my computer but kept trying to get back to sleep unsuccessfully.

I've given up on tossing and turning. It wakes up Valyraen and I don't see why one of us shouldn't get a good night's sleep!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 38

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 6:05:40 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

However, it is rude to interupt a scene after a guy shoots his load and ask "are you going to eat that" if you are hungry.

And would it have been rude if Jeffrey Dahmer were with Lorena Bobbitt, and he asked her the same question?

Cali

oh hell no! i need to wash that mental image from my brain! (should i go through my nose or my ears with the ivory soap? or maybe i should just swallow it in the upside down position?)

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 39

RE: the real thing - 1/17/2008 6:30:43 PM

Redoubt

Posts: 185
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle??

Yes and No. Even those who have been involved in this lifestyle for years will have moments when they want to shake it up and try something new (even if it may come across as brash and intrusive). Likewise, someone brand new may be able to take things exactly at your pace... you just don't know.

The difference between arrogance and confidence is all in the perception of the beholder, only you can decide what works and doesn't work for you.

It seems from your profile that you have a good idea of what you are looking for, so don't let a mountain of rubbish stop you from digging for the gold in the pile... good luck on your search.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)

Post #: 40

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