the real thing

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Firebirdseeking -> the real thing (10/14/2006 1:23:04 PM)
I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle??

sassey942 -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 1:40:57 PM)
Yes unfortunately most of the users on this site are looking for instant gratification and lack the emotional maturity to be more than simple bullys in their "relationship" with others. Alt lifestyle is merely a convenient vehicle. Having said that there is also a very small, hard to find minority that do infact know who they are and what they seek. Nevr give up your quest. Who you seek is out there. all things come to those that seek

syreena -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 2:02:15 PM)
Although i’m not a Master, i can tell you that unfortunately there are those who think that because you have posted submissive/slave on your profile that you will just “bow down to them” because they say that they are Dominate/Top/Master (etc). If you feel comfortable answering their questions do so; if not a polite response back such as Sir/Ma’am at this time i don’t feel comfortable answering the questions You have presented or something to that degree. Anyone that “orders” you to do something that you have not given consent to doesn’t understand the power exchange relationship. The other thing you can do is not respond at all. Remember this is your journey; take it slow and at a pace that is building up of the relationship that will help fulfill B/both journeys. Building a power exchange relationship takes time, trust and communication and is not something that “just happens” over minutes on the internet. Ultimately, you are responsible for presenting yourself to the Dominate that you choose to submit to in a complete and whole manner so that you can be fulfilled by the power exchange.

Owned1 -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 2:32:31 PM)
It is typical for many who think they are lifestyle individuals who truly have no interest in forming a relationship. Who are looking for wanker material on the net, who have no interest in ever meeting you or if they do want to meet you its only to have real sex and perhaps spank or play with you with a couple of toys they have purchased at a pet store or a kinky adult store on the local strip plaza. No mater what you should do what you feel is right, you do not have to divulge information you do not want to, you do not have to do anything you dont want to. You have rights, you are free to simply click the ignore button and say ciao. Owned

Kalira -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 2:46:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? No, it's not 'typical' though you will find some who do use this approach.

Focus50 -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 3:14:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? Hi and welcome to the Forums. [:)] It is typical of too many wankers in this lifestyle, but never acceptable! And you've perfectly demonstated what I most commonly advise those without lifestyle experience to do - trust your instincts! You don't need experience to know when something doesn't sound or feel right to you. You obviously have general "life experience", presumably in vanilla relationships, and it is something you can definitely utilise in this lifestyle. While we do many things differently here, basic respect and good manners from strangers is not one of them! Anytime you're not sure if a stranger's questions or actions are appropriate, ask yourself what you'd accept from the lifestyle you came from. And when they get pissed and accuse you of not being submissive or "real" etc, ignore/block/delete etc their sorry arse and stick with those who do respect you as an adult and individual. Kudo's to you for coming and asking! Focus.

Celeste43 -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 6:53:25 PM)
They're male and interested in sex. They may also assume that having found you on a sex site, you will be okay with this. Tell them you aren't comfortable in discussing sex until after you've established a relationship. The good ones will understand and the others you won't have to deal with.

DaddyMatthew -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 6:57:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? Typical of people in the lifestyle, no. Typical of people looking for a fantasy based roll in the hay, yes.

Aileen68 -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 7:07:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? You are troll food.

SweetSarijane -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 7:20:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? Unless you consent to a dynamic with them and have submitted to them, you are under no obligation to answer questions like that or obey any orders. It's not their business nor is it their place to ask them or attempt to order you. That's presuming a non existant dynamic. Just because you are a sub/slave doesn't make you THEIR sub/slave.

toservez -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 8:03:20 PM)
If they have been asking with initial messages and/or in a first few then they are most probably cyber players and can be ignored. Obviously, this life does bring up subjects that can be quite personal in nature but the famous quote about obscene comes into mind, something like "I do not know how to describe it but I will know it when I see it". If it does not feel right to you then it is not right for you. Trust your instincts.

happypervert -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 8:22:05 PM)
quote: Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? this is typical only of guys who are typing while jerking off grrr typo edit

MagiksSlave -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 8:43:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 quote: ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking I am new to this. Several doms or masters have approached me and had some unusual requests, at least I thought they were unusual, in the absence of an established relationship or power exchange. Basically, I have been given orders over the web; I have been asked intimate questions about my body and my sexual response. Is this "typical" of people in the lifestyle?? You are troll food. ((giggles)) ok it sounds really funny but Aileen you are totaly right Magik's slave

FangsNfeet -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 9:49:33 PM)
For what others consider to be the "Real Thing" may not be what's real for you. Just go with your GUT.

BitaTruble -> RE: the real thing (10/14/2006 10:16:30 PM)
quote: You are troll food. Ok, this is priceless. Aileen, you need to trademark this one quick! Celeste [:D][:D]

shadevarr -> RE: the real thing (10/15/2006 1:35:23 AM)
If you list your kinks out well in your profile then the initial conversation bits really should not be sexual in any fashion. Sometimes in chat it can just go that way as the conversation develops. My rule on initial internet conversations is "Keep it clubby". Simply put, if it is inappropriate to bring up to someone you just met in a club, then it also applies to the 'net. Everyone here is a real person, treat them as such. Their feelings do get hurt rather easily.

diamonddreamlove -> RE: the real thing (10/16/2006 5:28:20 PM)
Yes typical and that is why so many find themselves blocked and later complaining because they can not find a sub. Also those are the ones that hate being told i don't have to do that since we are not in a relationship of that level yet and not likely to get there.

jimbo747 -> RE: the real thing (10/16/2006 8:03:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Owned1 It is typical for many who think they are lifestyle individuals who truly have no interest in forming a relationship. So what! Not everyone wants to form a relationship. Some want to play then go home and be conventional. ..... and perhaps spank or play with you with a couple of toys they have purchased at a pet store or a kinky adult store on the local strip plaza. Again, so what! Who are you to judge what is a right or wrong way to play in this lifestyle. And who they heck are you to judge those people who play on that level? Please. Give me a break.

SirStephan55 -> RE: the real thing (10/16/2006 8:39:09 PM)
I do sometimes permit my slave to engage in online play and follow online directions, but only once we have established a rapor with the person.

ChaOz -> RE: the real thing (10/16/2006 9:46:01 PM)
Hey, I like your profile but its nuts that you said your not willing to be micromanaged, it makes it appear that your not willing to change for a Dom. You have no idea how your Dom will want you to be, so you goto be willing to be a blank canvas and held by the hand like a child given instruction until your training is complete. Its just part of the submission process. I have made requests of a personal nature online, and I dont care if they say no, just testing the waters to see how submissive someone is. Overall you seem rather dominant and dont worry, respect comes naturally with the right person, you dont need to demand it.

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