RE: Jealousy

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Jealousy

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Jealousy

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Jealousy - 1/29/2005 11:55:36 AM

sting516

Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline

for me...being a cuckold would be the ultimate punishment...especially if i was made to be there...when i give myself, i give all of myself...and that is something that's emotionally hard for me to deal with...in the past, there have been two women, one a Domme, one not, who enjoyed sex with others...the Domme enjoyed it while i was there, and it was something i'd always had a hard time with...granted, it hasn't happened a lot to me, so it might just be something that took getting used to...but that's something i'd find hard to deal with.

As always, Your mileage may vary.

sting

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Jealousy - 1/29/2005 9:05:18 PM

DiamondDiva

Posts: 266
Joined: 10/10/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Can you say CONFUSING?

_____________________________

~Diamond Diva~

" When someone is telling you who they are LET THEM!!!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Jealousy - 1/29/2005 10:08:48 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I never take on more then I can handle. If I am to take on a submissive, I need to make sure that I can give her/him the attention that they require (notice I did not say expecting).

I am not yet in a poly relationship, in fact I enjoy moving slowly so I'm not yet in a relationship at all. However I do intend on eventually having my own little harem. I'm bisexual so I already know that different days, different moods means I'll desire to play with different genders. Call me greedy - just don't call me late to dinner.

I make no effort to hide who I plan on being and I've stated what I desire for my future in my profile. Anyone sending me mail ought to be fully aware of the possibility of living with other individuals who I also care for.

I always make sure to clarify that others interested in applying know and accept this. I received a very interesting reply from one particular submissive. He said that in serving his Lady his sole desire is to make her smile. However as long as she's happy he's absolutely thrilled. So rather than being jealous he'd try to focus on having someone else around to make his Dominant smile when he wasn't around to do so. He wanted to make sure his Owner always had a smile on her face. He wanted to make sure that she'd have someone to serve her and be a play thing whenever she wished. He said that he would probably have some initial jealousy but after bonding with any other brought into the house he'd be delighted that his Lady had not one but two treasures - constantly keeping her up to her ears in wide grins.

I don't intend on taking on more than I can handle (read: care for, provide for and nurture). But I will take more than one because I'm capable of loving more than one person.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Jealousy - 1/31/2005 5:04:52 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiamondDiva

Can you say CONFUSING?

Actually I can say it in 3 languages. Your point dear DiamondDiva?

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to DiamondDiva)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Jealousy - 1/31/2005 5:08:35 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sting516
for me...being a cuckold would be the ultimate punishment...especially if i was made to be there...when i give myself, i give all of myself...and that is something that's emotionally hard for me to deal with...in the past, there have been two women, one a Domme, one not, who enjoyed sex with others...the Domme enjoyed it while i was there, and it was something i'd always had a hard time with...granted, it hasn't happened a lot to me, so it might just be something that took getting used to...but that's something i'd find hard to deal with.

sting,

I totally understand how this can be a hard thing for you to deal with. When a boy has a hard limit on cuckholding or non-monogamy, I tend not to get involved. When it is a soft limit, it will require a lot of discussion before it gets put into motion. My goal is not to mess with anyone's mind in a negative way.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to sting516)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Jealousy - 2/7/2005 2:45:44 PM

PassionateNights

Posts: 49
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

i used to have similar difficulties with cuckolding....but as i explored my submission i realized that "her" happiness and enjoyment was paramount to our relationship and that i actually derive my pleasure from seeing her happy/pleased/satisfied etc. My own needs of security and self worth are secondary to her needs. i now am thrilled whn i am given the honor of waching my Mistress being pleased by another....her satisfaction is my reward
that may not work for everyone, but we are all wired a little differently...and i'm surely short circuited in a couple of placed ;)

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Jealousy - 2/7/2005 5:06:58 PM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

I have had a few bad experiences with submissives telling Me that they would not be jealous of the fact that I was living with Mine. In each case they found that they could not handle it afterall and were released.

I am very fortunate that Mine takes the attitude mentioned by MadameDahlia. he works two jobs and was not home every evening. he himself will not serve anyOne else and is compeletely monogamous. W/we tried that when I first moved in but by the end of 2 weeks I was cranky. After talking about it he basically insisted that I return to My custom of using other submissives to meet My needs. This resolved the tension and things have run smoothly since then. As I have stated elsewhere he is secure in the place he holds in My life and does not feel threatened when I am with others. The one caveat being that another male does not penetrate Me (which is by My choice also). Being in separate countries so much of the time he is thrilled when I take the time to relieve My tensions with submissives here. he knows that if I am happy and being taken care of then he will be happy.

< Message edited by GentleLady -- 2/7/2005 5:14:29 PM >

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to PassionateNights)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Jealousy - 2/7/2005 6:53:06 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

I guess the most important information I get from your post GentleLady is that you have to find a balance that is right. My boys and girls know from the get go not expect monogamy from me. I don't expect it from them. I gather that if I got into a more serious relationship with a submissive of mine, I would reserve the right to choose who he or she would play with other then me but I love exploring with others too much to completely give it up. As I often say, I have many kinks and BDSM doesn't encompass them all.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to GentleLady)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Jealousy - 2/7/2005 9:19:10 PM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

Exactly LadyAngelika. And what works for one couple may not work for any other couple. Even over time attitudes can change. Within the vanilla world I was always monogamous once a serious relationship developed and I had expected to feel the same way once I found a submissive that suited Me well enough to become full time. I was shocked to discover that I also needed the variety. W/we had some discussions about exactly what 'being faithful' meant to both of U/us and I learned more about what makes Me tick as a Dominant. One of My concerns is that I do not put his feelings of security at risk so I tell him where, who, and when. This also acts as a safety factor for Myself. The side benefit is that he is now becoming interested in watching or assisting Me with other submissives.

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 29