Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

teaching without domming


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> teaching without domming Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
teaching without domming - 10/16/2006 10:23:44 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline
hi...i am reasonable new to this and my Master is even newer....we are getting a fellow Dom to help us with the finer details of tecniques etc but I was wondering how do i teach my Master without topping from the bottom...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 12:20:10 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
Explain with respect .. and realize the option to accept or dismiss your information remains with him.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 12:41:58 AM   
ChaOz


Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline
I dont see it as a problem, either do it out of character or view it is a privelage etc. As long as your roles are maintained its cool, just like you applying a different skill like making him a website or something. In the end you will be the muse he learns bdsm on so it should be fun for both of you. Even if you take some measure of control to teach its just something he allows to admire your abilities.


< Message edited by ChaOz -- 10/17/2006 12:42:47 AM >

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 12:45:09 AM   
conrad2006


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/12/2006
Status: offline
hi


(in reply to ChaOz)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 12:46:01 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
AS long as you dont command, but suggest you should be fine.  Most dominants who are new understand that they have some to learn from the submissives under them.  Make sure he is alright with your offering help, too.  The easiest way to avoid misunderstanding is to make sure he actually wants the help from you. If he objects to th eidea of you helping, then see what he can learn from your Dom friend and then see if you still think that he needs assistance from you.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to ChaOz)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 8:34:57 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
I suspect that most of what you want to teach your master is about how YOU respond to what he's doing. I wouldn't call that topping from the bottom -- I'd call it providing valuable feedback. Same goes for suggesting ideas or telling him about other things you like/dislike but he hasn't tried.

As mentioned already, it is then up to him to chose how to use this info . . . including doing what he knows you don't like.


_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 8:38:11 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunnydays

hi...i am reasonable new to this and my Master is even newer....we are getting a fellow Dom to help us with the finer details of tecniques etc but I was wondering how do i teach my Master without topping from the bottom...


"Suggestions" are always welcome :)

oops.. edited to make that "Should be Welcomed"

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 10/17/2006 8:40:12 AM >


_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 1:04:01 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Dear sunnydays, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Communication is always the key.  How you suggest or teach from the submissive/slave point of view is carefully worded as not to sound like a command but, a suggestion.
 
If there is a teaching situation involving a whip, I have novices stay still and let the slave back into the whip, adjust themselves where it hits properly.  This gives the needed focus for the dominant to maintain a technique, the slave says nothing as to interrupt thought, skill focus and attempting to find the target all at once.  By, the slave backing into the whip voluntarily, it is submission in silence; to where the slave sets themselves in the proper whip zone.  That will in time no longer be needed however, a beautiful exchange none-the-less.
 
When serving,  a slave can give an oral story, as to what she/he is doing as they are doing it, as to give meaning for every step in the service to them.  For example; in serving a cup of coffee, the slave raises to their feet, backing three steps back.  As you do this, gently say, in taking three steps back I honor the present, the past and the future, turning away--as I turn my respect for you is turning only at this spot, as not to show my buttock or have it in your face--this is in respect for you.  You make the coffee and reenter the room.  When you stop at approximately 3 feet in front of him and stop.  You can say,  I stop at the boundaries of your personal space, out of respect for you and wait for your invitation to come into your personal space.
In kneeling, you can say;  I kneel as a form of a silent salute, in honor of you and although it is rooted deep in history as to show no threat to you, I do this in honor of those two things--showing I am not a threat to you and put myself at your mercy as well as honoring you in a silent salute.  When you stir the coffee, you can go counter clockwise, to honor time past (clock reference), clockwise to honor the future (time forward) and side to side (to reference sun rise and sun setting) to honor the present.
 
In this way, you are teaching the reasoning, the history and your slant on your service.  It will also give notice to the dominant, that what he witnesses from you is honor based--something that needs to be cherished as well as honor to you given back.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 3:03:37 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline
thank you all for your support and understanding and you wonderful ideas.... Master does want to learn, but I have been worriedabout how to say things without changing the power exchange..i am no longer worried...wish us luck

sunnydays

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 3:50:08 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
Good luck!

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 8:41:31 PM   
DarkSideisXTC


Posts: 13
Status: offline
Staying in role as you provide feedback also helps. I am very experienced but I am still training my slave to always provide feedback.What she does is make me an offering. If she desires something she will do it in a way to offer it to me. I am free to accept her offering or reject it. As an example, something she might do is lay on the bed on all fours and say Master would you enjoy spanking me. What she wants is a spanking but is offering it to me, not topping me for one. 

JR

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: teaching without domming - 10/17/2006 9:20:25 PM   
sunnydays


Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline
thar is a wonerful suggestion...tyvm

(in reply to DarkSideisXTC)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: teaching without domming - 10/18/2006 4:10:45 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline
You've had wonderful suggestions and I have to say I agree ... make SUGGESTIONS, not demands.  I use the same thing as DarkSide ... my slaves are taught to 'offer' things they want or even if they get more pleasure out of the 'style' of spanking.  Much of what you wish your Dom to do ... is personal choice and preference stuff.  If you suggest but do not demand ... you shouldn't have a problem.

Keep in mind, as stated before, it's HIS decision whether to accept your suggestion or n
ot.




_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to sunnydays)
Profile   Post #: 13
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> teaching without domming Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.281