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RE: Perplexing Question for a slave/submissive - 1/26/2005 6:14:51 PM   
Socrateaser


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		This reminds me of the old joke.

What did the sadist do to the masochist?

Nothing.

Good mental exercise though.

(in reply to realophelia)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Perplexing Question for a slave/submissive - 2/1/2005 12:04:10 PM   
rivrgirl


Posts: 6
Status: offline 		I do not think it would be possible for me to take control...especially complete control....*smiling and thinking*...it is very hard for me to choose the place we eat...mainly because I want my dominant one to be pleased with all things...

I do, however, "assume control" of things he asks me to....such as....I'm the one in
charge of finances....why? because I am good and he appreciates that fact and says he would be a fool not to use my potentials......but I don't think of that as taking control...I see that as doing one more thing to make life easier on my Master and assuming a task he has given me.....even tho *wicked grin* I do say NO to him sometimes there.

When I think of "taking control" I think of more mental and for the well being of....


rivrgirl

(in reply to bear4u2pet)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Perplexing Question for a slave/submissive - 2/1/2005 6:53:01 PM   
billiegirl


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Hi. I wouldn't know how to respond to the command. The reason I go to a domme, the very reason I offer and give my submission, is for HER to be in charge. Asking me to switch simply wouldn't work.
J

(in reply to bear4u2pet)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Perplexing Question for a slave/submissive - 3/4/2005 4:20:55 AM   
chainedgirl


Posts: 142
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bear4u2pet

"I would not enter a relationship in which I was asked to take complete control, even if that request was issued as an order."

But then do you not, even as a "submissive", actually exert complete control over the relationship?

The real question is "does the submissive, by being voluntarily submissive, actually completely control the relationship and thus, advertantly or inadvertantly, enslave and control the dom directing the dom to serve the specific desires of the sub?"


Ok, i can see where this might be the case in casual scenes or in a play session where the Dominant and the submissive were not an attached couple. Then the sub does tend to control the relationship, because it is usually the subs list of limitations that define what will or won't happen.

But a collar puts a different spin on things to me. When i accepted Master's training collar i also accepted i was giving up the 'right' to have control over my own life choices. When i am told to do something or not do something that goes against the grain (and this happened recently), then i see that i have no choice but to obey Him. That is the real test of who has the control. i can tell You i do not. i can try batting my eyelashes and pouting til the cows come home, but it won't work because He is in contol.

(in reply to bear4u2pet)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Perplexing Question for a slave/submissive - 3/4/2005 6:21:05 AM   
BlouLady


Posts: 170
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Well it seems as though you have opened Pandoras Box here. I found this to be a very intresting discussion.
quote:

ORIGINAL: bear4u2pet

Knowing of subserviants' desires for complete dominance by another, would not the perfect act of dominance be the command for the sub to take complete charge of the relationship, thereby making the dom the submissive?

How would you, as a submissive, handle this problem of having to become dominant?


Again as most others have already said a sub in this situation wouldn't know how to respond, and it would leave feeling of bewilderment ,discontent and possiably a sense of loss. Is it possiable that you are in your heart a sub? As a sub I do my best not to top from the bottom although sometimes it happens. Having a true desire to do as He wants of me, I would feel after awhile unfufilled and angry because it would be to me, him shirking His duties.I'm sure being a Dom isn't easy and until theD/s relationship is where you want it to be ,it may very well consume some if not all of your thoughts,actions,ect...However when things are running smoothly then it's entirely different situation.The sub would be at your command and you have that knowledge making it easier for you to do as you please without worrying if they are topping you.
It most definatly a give take relationship.It takes both of you doing your parts to make it a beautiful experience/life. Good luck to you.

BTW everything in life is one huge circle...Haven't you seen "The Lion King?"

(in reply to bear4u2pet)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Perplexing Question for a slave/submissive - 3/4/2005 11:56:30 AM   
darlingjade


Posts: 54
Joined: 1/31/2005
Status: offline 		Okey, dokey.

As someone that, when I first began to explore the BDSM realm was forced to switch, I will say that, for me, it was hard to take my partner seriously after I'd done the Topping. Quite frankly it was too difficult to get the images of him as a bottom out of my head when the roles were reversed. The very act of Topping altered perceptions that would have allowed for the flow to go in the other direction even though I DID have to be directed as to what to do and I WAS pleasing him, if not myself.

Longterm the altered perceptions stymmied my submission and since I'm not a Top, Domme or Mistress the relationship died.

So, for me, being placed in such a position could be likened to a slow death of a large part of who I am. Hmmm...So perhaps the ultimate in masochism and not submission?

(in reply to BlouLady)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Perplexing Question for a slave/submissive - 3/5/2005 6:17:05 AM   
angelpet


Posts: 24
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		There are many who TOP as way to show their submission. There are also slaves who are contracted to do that. Pesonally when I am given a task it may involve my dominant side though I am not dominant. If my task involves setting up an event and pulling it all together, my manners will be those that society dictates: contracting workers, overseeing set up, firing those who do not do as I contracted. Those are dominant deeds but not necessarily done by a dominant, but for one.

angel

(in reply to bear4u2pet)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Perplexing Question - 3/5/2005 6:51:01 AM   
sissymaidlola


Posts: 518
Joined: 3/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Or is this a "Circle of Ouroboros" ?

DAMN ... the game is up!

Actually, it's more of a Jormungandr than an Ouroboros. But the question that keeps bugging this sissy is: "Is an Ouroboros an oxymoros ?"

Gnosticissy maid lola




_____________________________

If i don't seem submissive to You, it may be because i'm NOT submissive to You.

(in reply to bear4u2pet)
Profile   Post #: 48
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