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Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 11:41:58 AM   
Dave8544


Posts: 49
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		It's strange to hear almost everyone claiming that this is not sex, The lifestyle is not about that, yet almost every profile male or female deals with it. Strap-ons, nippple play, CBT, etc. I guess it's only sex if the male is the one doing the screwing to the female! Why even make an issue of it. Of course what do I know? Far from a pro just enjoy a different life than many I guess. Not trying to upset anyone just my opinion. Dave
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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 12:19:57 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		You can find the answer to these, and many other questions, by using the search link at the upper right hand corner of the page. Proud? Would you care to do the honors?

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Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 12:29:40 PM   
Cyis75


Posts: 164
Joined: 8/31/2004
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		To the OP: I think the answer to the question may fall in the definition of "sex" being used by the one asking the question. Do I personally consider BDSM is sex? No, but I do consider it highly sexual. Speaking only for myself, If I'm in a good BDSM scene with a partner that I'm in tune with it is highly erotic and hopefully results in both of us getting off on it. But does Sex and BDSM have to go together? I don't think so as I can have a perfectly good scene that doesn't include intercourse that is highly sexually charged and gets me and the submissive off. WIITWD is highly erotic and sexual. Why else do we do it? I know for me I wouldn't do it if I wasn't getting something from it.

(in reply to Dave8544)
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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 12:39:47 PM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		its sex to me!

Ms. Eden

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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 1:38:35 PM   
panthergoddess


Posts: 93
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: Bessemer City, NC USA
Status: offline 		Dave,

Just because the profiles mention different activities "CBT" or impliments "nipple clamps and strap ons" does not actually adress the "SEX" question. The activities are mearly ways to manipulate, torure, please the body (more specifically body parts, be them sexual or not) And the impliments are the tools with which to do them.

I can be involved in providing CBT all day long. Does that mean it's sexual to me. No. Does it arouse me...yes. So does the sound of a woman moaning after her thirst in quinched in the McDonalds.....is that sexual...no. Could both lead to sex....possibly.

I think one needs to difine for themselves what "Sex" is.....it's different for different people. For me for example, it's intercourse whereby the mouth, vagina or anus is penetrated by another body part of the partner in an effort for both parties to reach orgasm. Is my using a strap on to penetrate my slave's ass sex to me....no it's not. Is Oral sex...sex to me...yes it is.

Basically any and everything leading up to the point of penetration is foreplay....highly sexual...and is there for the express purposes of getting each party closer to the point of orgasm but not sex in and of itself.

So by MY definition....BDSM is NOT sex.

To me BDSM is a highly open and honest exchange relationship between the parties involved whereby they can explore specificlly desired/previously discovered, or even uncharted methods of enhancing their lives, both sexually and non-sexually as is desired and agreed upon by the parties themselves in a safe sane and consensual manner.

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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 1:44:21 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

For me for example, it's intercourse whereby the mouth, vagina or anus is penetrated by another body part of the partner in an effort for both parties to reach orgasm.


You know, when I read this all I could think of were the Clinton impeachement hearings LOL.

Lily

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~Dr. Seuss~

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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 2:07:07 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
BDSM is not just sex. Nor is it just about sex. Not for everyone. Yet, maybe for some it is.

For me? BDSM is honesty.

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Dave8544)
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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 2:21:59 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline 		Of course it's about sex, everything is about sex. Sex sex sex. That's all. Sex sells.



< Message edited by Paulnz -- 1/25/2005 2:22:42 PM >

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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 2:26:55 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Paulnz

Of course it's about sex, everything is about sex. Sex sex sex. That's all. Sex sells.




For you, maybe... not for all.

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 2:57:46 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dave8544
It's strange to hear almost everyone claiming that this is not sex
Far from a pro just enjoy a different life than many I guess. Not trying to upset anyone just my opinion. Dave


It is about sex to me, and life, and more sex, and back to living life....
M

(in reply to Dave8544)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 3:17:52 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		If its not about sex at that very moment, its sure to end up being about sex a bit later ... like say in the bubble bath, perhaps.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 4:32:34 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

You can find the answer to these, and many other questions, by using the search link at the upper right hand corner of the page. Proud? Would you care to do the honors?

Of course :

BDSM--with or without sex

is BDSM more than sexual to you

Doms do you want just sex...

scene play--sex or no sex

scenes that are not sexual

sex in sessions

No really, how important is sex to you?

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 4:36:56 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		What do you call Massage Therapy?

Our profiles indicate what we are into or what we have interest in. It dosen't me that what we are going to do them all if and when we give someone a session.

Sure I like this life style envolved with my sex life. However, I don't have sex with everyone a tie up, spank, and such. Many submissives get off to hire a Dom to session on them but it dosn't mean you are getting sex. Most Pro Doms are giving you a session that's almost like a massage therapy session.

BDSM puts more trust into the relationship. It also helps cut down the bickering and fights you see in vanilla relationships as well as power struggle drama acts. So yeah, I will always envolve my lifestyle with my sex life and relationships.

So yes I like combining Sex with the Life Style. But you don't need sex to live it.

If anyone wants or needs more info on what I have posted, send me a private message on my profile for I do not see myself comming back to this post.




Attachment (1)

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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 7:08:28 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Access Denied

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 10:55:55 PM >

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 7:15:04 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Access Denied

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 10:56:03 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 8:44:25 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
i think that its not ALL about sex. Making the bed isnt sexual. i think its about control and that long soul searching of oneself journey.

i would think Scening is more closely related to sex. Though of course we all know you neednt have sexual relations to scene.

i think there are sexual and non sexual relations to BDSM.


This is why I think the scope of this lifestyle is kool, because it covers so much...
I personally don't want to learn how to tie up, toy with/tell random strangers what to do and how to do it...
In fact, the only person I do want these things with, is the man (because I don't do ladies) with whom I am having sex. So for me, it's intertwined, definitely not one without the other; plain/conventional vanilla is too boring for me, and there is no BDSM without a play partner who excites me sexually... Am rambling, will shut up now. M



(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 9:53:17 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		And for Me it is not about SEX, and I state so clearly in My profile. It is about Power and Control. Yes, playtime can be highly sexually charged, but I choose when, where, what, how. I state this in My profile, in order to discourage those who are just looking for some kinky sex. And there are a lot! That's ok, just not what I am about.


_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to Dave8544)
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RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/25/2005 9:57:23 PM   
MistressKyley


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I totally agree...well said!

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/26/2005 5:49:08 AM   
panthergoddess


Posts: 93
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: Bessemer City, NC USA
Status: offline 		LMAO.....what can I say....I watched ALL of those hearings and happenings.

"Define 'IT'." LOL

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sex and BDSM - 1/26/2005 6:13:55 AM   
Bigbossman4u


Posts: 116
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline
quote:

You know, when I read this all I could think of were the Clinton impeachement hearings LOL.


Hell, I'm still trying to figure out what the definition of *is* is.....

as for sex & BDSM.. for me they are very much tied together (pardon the pun).... even if no "sex" (in the Clinton sense)would occur... I'd get so aroused I am bound to take matters into my own hands sooner or later :)

But it is also much much more than sex... it's far more mental (not that sex isn't). I often use the analogy of Checkers vs Chess.

Best,
Joshua

< Message edited by Bigbossman4u -- 1/26/2005 6:15:46 AM >

_____________________________

"Egotism is the anesthetic which nature gives us to deaden the pain of being a fool." - Dr Herbert Schofield

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