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when your domme wants it rough - 10/17/2006 12:22:31 PM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		lol didnt know how else to word the thread title

whilst i love being in control sexually and doing it my way sometimes its just nice to be thrown down myself and get it rough  so to speak , however i have found in the past that most of the subs/slaves i have encountered find it hard to do this constantly asking if its ok presuming they will be punished for it , i find this very frustrating though i can understand why it must be hard to do i guess but is this something that most of you find hard to do for your mistress if it is required or have i just been unlucky so far ?

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/17/2006 12:30:39 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		i hyave the same problem... i am submissive to the bone, in a sexual situation i let my partner take control; but Ma'am is a switch and a self described "pain slut"... she wants it harder and for me to take control at times, and i just don't know what to do... i have long nails and can overpower her, but it's against my nature

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/17/2006 12:32:30 PM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline 		I have my vanilla lovers to do that.  And the subs get to clean up afterwards (off my tummy or ass cheeks, for safety's sake btw).  Everyone's happy.

EDITED to include:  I like rough hard sex, I do not submit *grin* just to be absolutely clear.

< Message edited by demistress -- 10/17/2006 12:33:31 PM >

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/17/2006 12:38:18 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		i can go rough if that is what the dominant wants, but then again i enjoy the physical wrestling, and the fight, when in the right mindset and mood.  i usually don't worry about my being punished for it.  If he didn't wish for me to go all out, and give it my best, he wouldn't ask for it in the first place.  However, i could see it from a male subs POV in that if you are not an even match for his strength, there may be some situations where you could get physically injured, like a pulled muscle, a sprain or torn ligament, etc.  If an accident occured, it is just that, an accident.  i wouldn't consider that being a matter of something to be punished for.  It is not his fault if you were the one asking, even when being extremely careful, injuries still happen when engaging in physical contact even in minor levels of intensity.  This may be more difficult to understand from an emotional pov, for it is a matter of respect and the need to please and serve, etc., and that plays a huge part in a sub being concerned about displeasing or doing anything that would bring unpleasant results for the dominant. Just a quick thought.

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/17/2006 12:48:22 PM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
well i have always assured them that there will be no comeback if i want it hard i take the consiquences of possible after effects and wouldnt punish for something i asked for.
Good idea with using vaniilas for that lol
i can understand why it would be challaging for the sub/slave to do though


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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/17/2006 1:20:00 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I can see how they might have a hard time with that, I suggest maybe trying to find a switch

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/17/2006 1:58:26 PM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		i dont want a switch i just want my slave to fuck me hard sometimes lol
ijuts postedthe thread to see if i could get some other opinions re subs/slaves doing it and how they feel about it but thankyou for your suggestion

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/17/2006 10:42:23 PM   
LASub4Real


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I don't think that a sub in necessarily incapable of doing what you ask, but it does cross a certain line, at least for me.

It's kind of as if my parents had asked me to spank them because they had been unfair to me when I was a teenager. It's a line that, once crossed, would have permanently change my perception our relationship. I could never have gone back psychologically to the place that I had been once I taken that kind of authority over my parents.

Dominants aren't parents, and rough sex isn't a "punishment" but it is a form of domination. It just becomes a roll reversal for me.

LAsub

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/17/2006 10:51:25 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Its out of character for him.  My boy couldnt do it, even if he were commanded to. Someteims, some people just arent capable of being rough.  Even if you werent his Domme, he might not have been able to be rough, and the situation you are in makes it harder.
If he just cant, can you be happy without it?

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 12:13:09 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I'm lucky in that my sub has no problem with this whatsoever. We both love rough sex so we go at it like a couple of animals. If he were not like that, then I would be terribly disappointed. I would suggest just talking to them, letting them know that this is something that pleases you. Describe a scene maybe, give examples of what you enjoy and see what happens.

Good Luck,
~Lashra


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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 12:47:25 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		An order (or a request even) from your Master, Mistress, Top, Dom, or what have you is exactly that.  I do understand that some people would have a harder time with it, but isn't pleasing or striving to please and serve what submission is all about?  I think a little time and practice and s/he might be able to deliver what you want.  Praise for a job well done?  Perhaps discipline for not being hard/rough enough?  Slaves are generally trainable.  Good luck!

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 5:25:01 AM   
lesbiangirlslave


Posts: 42
Joined: 10/11/2006
From: amsterdam
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I'm lucky in that my sub has no problem with this whatsoever. We both love rough sex so we go at it like a couple of animals. If he were not like that, then I would be terribly disappointed. I would suggest just talking to them, letting them know that this is something that pleases you. Describe a scene maybe, give examples of what you enjoy and see what happens.

Good Luck,
~Lashra



this girl think that Mistress Lashra give the right answer. The slave must like pain receiving and giving, to see the pleasure her Mistress have. this slave was lucky that her Mistress like pain a lot, it give some real connection between her Mistress and this slave. Pain give strong bonds between people (it can at least). And this girl thinks that a slave must do what her Mistress tell her. Receive or give, but always told what to do. Therefore she is a slave.

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 6:10:58 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		It can be frustrating sometimes to have a submissive who is not able or willing to please you sexually.  I look at it as, if we have have a sexual relationship, we do it in a way that pleases me.  He would not be serving me if he did not.  I do not think a switch is the answer.  Being able to please someone in bed even if it is having rough sex is something that can be found in submissives.  If he's having a difficult time with it, tell him that he is there to please you and doing it any other way than the way you like it (rough) is not the way to do that.

As an aside, sex, IMO has nothing to do with however you identify.  Dominants like sex a particular way and many, myself included, want a more exciting romp.  I think this stereotype is particularly prevalent in F/m relationships as if because we are dominant women we can't like a right good fuck ;) or need to find a vanilla or fellow dominant to give it to us.  It is simply not true.  It is not "undomly" to want sex rough and it is not "unsubly" to serve your Mistress by giving it to her.

There are those who prefer not to use their submissive in that way but if you do, there is no change in the dynamic just because he's pleasing you in a manner that you wish.

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 6:13:30 AM   
nikkicd10


Posts: 91
Joined: 8/23/2006
Status: offline 		As a sub, my Mistress enjoys the same behavior every once in awhile, however before this starting taking place we had a long talk about her needs and me being able to take care of them. 

For us it ended up with a very easy solution, she enjoys me as her crossdressing sub 95% of the time, I know when she wants me to take charge in the bedroon becuase she will lay out male clothing for the evening, i am alsways her sub, but on those nights when we enter the bedroom, she allows me to take charge.

Understand, we are in a relationship. married and collared, for several years. 

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 6:58:15 AM   
lesbiangirlslave


Posts: 42
Joined: 10/11/2006
From: amsterdam
Status: offline 		Mistress, i can understand that. this girl has noticed that the attachment go further if this girl do what her Mistress tell her to do, even rough sex with my Mistress, what this girl very much like, to receive or given. The trust for my Mistress became stronger then and to please and serve her is then even more pleasant. So this girl also think that it is important that Mistress and slave has the same sexuel appetite. And it's also very important to talk what each like or dislike, but aslo here the Mistress dicide, even if the slave don't like it. The slave is always the property of her Mistress. But this girl believe that the Mistress want the things what bring her slave further. At least that is my experience.

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 7:09:55 AM   
nessalovestats


Posts: 23
Joined: 10/10/2006
Status: offline 		i can relate to lashra, my sub and I have a very fulfilling sexual relationship, being whatever way i want it.  maybe i lucked out in finding one like that,  but at first he was a little stand-offish aobut it, so i jsut explained that it was something that i really enjoyed, and that it was ok for him to do, with no consequences...  worked quite well.   

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 7:20:49 AM   
submaleslaveuk


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Manchester UK
Status: offline 		Hi canupleaseme,

i am submissive to the bone BUT as long as it was communicated by my hypothetical partner that  She wanted it rough (maybe have a key word which once said by you means you want it rough!) then i certainly would not have a problem with it. As one of my fantasies is roleplay i would just get in the role of a rugged and handsome man and give it to her as rough as she wanted lol!!

Take care and hope you find that balance soon huN!

hugs

submaleslaveuk
darren
xoxox 

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 7:37:31 AM   
lesbiangirlslave


Posts: 42
Joined: 10/11/2006
From: amsterdam
Status: offline 		this girl really think that a slave like it to give her Mistress pain. Certainly when She ask for it. Ater a few times this girl really noticed that it was more pleasureble for both. So when this girl found her new Mistress its obvious that she want to continue with what she has noticed and learned. this girl has also noticed that the trust crows between Mistress and slave. But Mistress Nessalovestats, its certain true that the slave must be aware that there are no consequences are in giving her Mistress pain. And the Mistress must say what kind of pain She want, what She like and what She dislike. And then the slave has to do what her Mistress say pleased or not.

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 8:12:46 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		well s[eaking rom the subs pong of view i love it wehn my Master alwwos me to struggle againes him when he binds me i know i will not win, but i like the feeling of being overpowered, so i think i can identify with what the Dommes are talking about it is a heady feeling .

Matt's littleone

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RE: when your domme wants it rough - 10/18/2006 9:07:20 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		I guess thats why I have little to no interest as partners or lovers, submissive men who can't seperate sex from bdsm, d/s, or subservience..  Having healthy primal sexual urges is what makes him hot.  Knowing that he wants to bend me over and fuck me senseless ... a good horny sexy fuck ... that can mean nothing but two lovers enjoying each other's bodies... and letting him know in no uncertain terms he got to fuck me because I allowed it turns him on..

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