sub becoming a Domme

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

sub becoming a Domme

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> sub becoming a Domme

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

sub becoming a Domme - 10/17/2006 3:48:10 PM

wanta247

Posts: 19
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline

My sub is suddenly keenly interested in becoming my domme, and while I enjoy her doing parts of it, i am still uncomfortable in giving up total control, any advice from the ladies to whether she is stretching and/or f I should give in

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: sub becoming a Domme - 10/17/2006 4:08:08 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

Perhaps she's more a switch? If she can swing from on to the other, you have to decide whether you can be submissive to her. That's not really something someone else can answer for you. You have to find that answer inside yourself

Good luck to you.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to wanta247)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: sub becoming a Domme - 10/17/2006 5:51:19 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Do you want to submit to her? If no, don't. If yes, it's as simple, and as difficult, as choosing to do so.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to wanta247)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: sub becoming a Domme - 10/17/2006 6:31:30 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear wanta247, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eye, dominants do give up control in many ways, to those who serve them. Although I can get my own cup of tea, biscuit and such, to allow the slave to do so, fills their needs to serve and take great pleasure in doing so. It is giving up my control to the slave to give me service. So, "total control" is micro-management, more like a prison guard rather than allowing freedom and control to the slave, in order to give them tools, as to serve.

That said, it really would serve you both well, to sit down and discuss the risks of the D/s relationship as is now, to change into a D=S relationship and to change the roles that brought you both together in the first place.

What words haunt my mind's memory; of a few slaves that were in my care as their owners were submitting to another individual; and that is how upsetting it was and not what the slaves had in mind in the relationship that they entered with--to see their owners switch. Witnessing such strained the relationship terribly so. This should be communicated and get an understanding. Though these slaves couldn't say no, their hearts said NO!!!!! Their relationships didn't last, as these slaves wanted a Master/Mistress--not a SWITCH.

What is most important, is what works for you as a couple; to talk about all the 'what ifs' that may happen. Perhaps, she will remain submissive to you yet, dominant another. Perhaps you might do a complete role reversal. Just communicate to each other what the risks may be to the relationship.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to wanta247)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: sub becoming a Domme - 10/17/2006 7:03:54 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I dont mean to sound disrespectfull but the entire question doesnt sound like it came from a Dom... You dont sound to sure of your relationship... but thats just what I get from the way you worded it, Mostly the part where you ask if you should "give in" to her. Your the Dom anything you deside goes and desideing to grant her what she wants is not giveing in, My Master may deside to give me what I want but he NEVER gives into me that would imply that I have the power!!! So really sounds like she is already Dominateing you.

Any way switching within a relationship may get sticky but if you feel you can handle it and that you too want to be a switch then go for it!

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 10/17/2006 7:05:35 PM >

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: sub becoming a Domme - 10/18/2006 8:09:54 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Control is different from sensation play. If you enjoy lying back while someone flogs you, then go for it. You can allow her to top while keeping control, just tell her exactly what to do. Or you can allow her to have total control for the hour, after which you go back to your original relationship.

However, some subs won't be able to sub again to someone they've topped. This is something you should have discussed first. If you're uncomfortable submitting, then you don't have to do it. If she wants to domme occasionally, she could top at a club or find a sub of her own. Just work out the details ahead of time. Basically you both need to get your needs met or the relationship cannot last.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Profile

Post #: 6