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Advice please - 10/18/2006 11:15:54 AM   
Gogoku6


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		I am a married male with a bi-wife...while we are both polyamourous...we are also both dominate...we have been looking for a sub female to join us for a LTR...it has been hard because we have been in the lifestyle for about 5 yrs...I have been serching on our behalf because she lives is in another part of the stat taking care of her grandfather and my job relocated me for a short time...I haven't had much luck and I was looking for any advice that would help
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RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 11:33:42 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You aren't living together, she's taking care of an elderly person and your job is taking most of your time.

Why do you think NOW is a good time to start a heavy relationship that would require you and your wife to work together on a very intimate and intense level?

I say get your life to a point where it's a good idea to have that relationship before really looking for it.  Then read all the threads in the polyamory forum.

< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 10/18/2006 11:34:05 AM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Gogoku6)
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RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 11:49:44 AM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		((claps)) very well said LA Ma'am!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 11:58:12 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		hey LA..... where can I get one of those bullshit cutter throughers you always seem to have on hand??

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
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RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 12:08:47 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

hey LA..... where can I get one of those bullshit cutter throughers you always seem to have on hand??


I bought it at the Good Sense Store on the corner of Tough Life Experience and Fuck-ups Galore.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 12:10:51 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		LA, too funny thanks for the chuckle i needed one just now!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 12:12:04 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

hey LA..... where can I get one of those bullshit cutter throughers you always seem to have on hand??


I bought it at the Good Sense Store on the corner of Tough Life Experience and Fuck-ups Galore.


<snorts Big Red at monitor>  Warn me next time ok?? LMAO

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 6:03:23 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		OWW my stomach hurts from giggling no fair LA Ma'am!!!!!!!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 6:24:28 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

You aren't living together, she's taking care of an elderly person and your job is taking most of your time.

Why do you think NOW is a good time to start a heavy relationship that would require you and your wife to work together on a very intimate and intense level?


Considering the fact that it takes an immense bit of time to weed out all those who are simply not what one may be looking for, that point is probably mute.   Possibly the OP is in contact with His partner every day--distance is no longer a dilemma to maintain communication.   What's with all the judgement? 

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
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RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 6:34:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers
Considering the fact that it takes an immense bit of time to weed out all those who are simply not what one may be looking for, that point is probably mute.   Possibly the OP is in contact with His partner every day--distance is no longer a dilemma to maintain communication.   What's with all the judgement? 


a)  It's "moot"

b)  Distance isn't necessarily a dilemma to maintain communication.  But we have the addition of caring for an elderly parent AND the stress of a serious job.

And we aren't just "maintaining communication" we're "attempting to form a completely new and insanely difficult situation."

The conditions are far less than ideal for what they want to do.  I think they should wait until the situation is more ideal before seriously making a go for it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 6:50:07 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks so much for the correction.   The point is your comment came across to me as slightly rude and the ones that follow turned the OP's post into nothing more than a joke.   It is not my intention to point fingers but this happens on so many threads.   What happened to being nice?  
Btw he never said his job was stressful or serious just that he had been relocated for a short period of time.  
It maybe a good idea to wait out the seperation and pointing that out is a great bit of advice but it could have been given in a manner that was less judgemental.  
Again thanks for the correction---I will in the future make sure that Webster is my companion when posting.  

< Message edited by Squeakers -- 10/18/2006 6:52:11 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Advice please - 10/18/2006 7:43:52 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		gogoku,   As this is your first post I guess you have sorted out the best way to seek another, post a question on the forums (where you are not allowed to troll) with what you are seeking inbedded in the question.

However I would suspect if it were me, you are in fact married and hiding this from your wife.  Your story just sounds too odd to be true.

It is difficult enough to get involved in a poly relationship let alone in one where half of the poly is not even living with the other ~ or so you say.

Allthe best in what you are searching for

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to Gogoku6)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Advice please - 10/19/2006 5:43:05 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		My cynical side came out the moment he said he's now upping the search since his wife is out of town. Not getting any was my immediate thought.

Basically now is not the time to find a third. Primarily because she would need to be third to two of you but one of you is not there for her to meet.

In general however, searching for a bi-female third is probably up there with finding a domme. Rarer than hen's teeth. Most women want someone to be of primary importance to. They want someone to hold them at night. They want to be able to talk holding hands over morning coffee. None of which is available to a third since the primary couple's emotional needs will be met by each other. If they don't meet each other's needs then the relationship doesn't last.

So who fulfills the needs of the third, and whose needs can she fulfill? Except for sex and service, she's of no use and is the proverbial fifth wheel. This requires a lot of knowledge and experience to solve, doesn't sound like you've even thought about it.

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Advice please - 10/19/2006 7:15:17 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43


In general however, searching for a bi-female third is probably up there with finding a domme. Rarer than hen's teeth.


Sheesh.. and here every dom I talk to says EVERY female in this lifestyle is bisexual or they wouldnt do this...

man.. can everyone PUHLEEZ buy and read the same book??? I am sooo confused!

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Advice please - 10/19/2006 9:37:00 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		Since he stated they are both Dominant, I can definately understand how a sub would be needed.

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Advice please - 10/19/2006 10:36:56 AM   
ExtremeOwnerIL


Posts: 197
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I bought it at the Good Sense Store on the corner of Tough Life Experience and Fuck-ups Galore.


That seems to be a very well attended store. Good answer to the OP - there is nothing harder than trying to incorporate a third beyond just fun and FWB.

Regards,
EO

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 16
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