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RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 10:06:59 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Can you trust someone with your life that you know is a liar? I wouldn't. Time to bring it to his attention that he was caught, that he is a liar and that your moving on.

Good luck,
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 10:14:38 AM   
TrueCalling


Posts: 97
Joined: 1/28/2005
Status: offline 		LMAO..why choose people who cheat on you... He was kidding,right!

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 10:17:56 AM   
BuxomGoddess321


Posts: 20
Status: offline 		Any conversation you have with a cheater and liar will be riddled with manipulation and more lies.  So say your piece, but don't believe anything he says.  He has an Agenda.  He says what he has to to get what he wants.  Its like talking to a sleezy politician or salesman.  Its all bullshit.  He says what you want to hear, not what the truth is so dont listen.  Then kick the loser to the curb as fast and your foot can leave a mark on his worthless ass.  I've said it repeatedly here.  It doesn't matter how long you know someone.  A liar is a liar, and cheaters cheat.  Don't listen to people who say "all guys cheat" only cheaters tell you that.  There are good men out there.  Get rid of that pond scum and find someone with too much SELF respect to act like a whore.  Good luck.

Be blessed,
Goddess

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 10:22:25 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		Tell him to kiss your ass and walk away.... Why call him on it... he will just lie and cheat again.... Fuck him, you are better then that.....

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 11:07:54 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I am NOT kidding, patterns are patterns, if you have partners who cheat on you, YOU are choosing cheaters.  That is NOT the same as blaming you for their cheating.

Battered women tend to pick batterers, alcoholics tend to pick enablers, shallow people tend to pick people who are shallow.

I have never had women in my life who cheat on me, but I DO choose women with other patterns, it is human nature.  As we mature, grow, and learn we can sometimes recognize and change those patterns but recognition IS the first step in changing those patterns.

(in reply to eroticangel)
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RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 11:26:00 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I am NOT kidding, patterns are patterns, if you have partners who cheat on you, YOU are choosing cheaters.  That is NOT the same as blaming you for their cheating.

Battered women tend to pick batterers, alcoholics tend to pick enablers, shallow people tend to pick people who are shallow.

I have never had women in my life who cheat on me, but I DO choose women with other patterns, it is human nature.  As we mature, grow, and learn we can sometimes recognize and change those patterns but recognition IS the first step in changing those patterns.


I do agree with this but it is just one aspect of what makes up the cheating world. Not all women who get cheated on have poor judgement and are susceptible to falling for cheators over and over. Sorry that is just way too simple. Personally your comments are more directed to habitual/agressive cheaters and that is not the entire pool and not 90% of them either.

I can promise you when women are asking a man to hang with their friends to meet their family one of the big reasons is to see if they are the only one and this and other things we do does not eliminate getting cheated on.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
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RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 11:37:49 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		If it happens to you once or twice it probably isn't a pattern, which is why I said if you choose partnerS, as in plural.  It is also why I made it clear I wasn't blaming people who get cheated on, simply pointing out the fact that if it is a pattern in your life, YOU are picking cheaters.

Again, I am not assigning blame, I was simply asking the poster to think about why this happened.  We can sit around and hold hands and talk shit about the cheating asshole but that doesn't little to help this person with tomorrow when she chooses her next partner.  I have NO idea what if any pattern she has WHICH IS WHY I ASKED THE QUESTION. 

(in reply to toservez)
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RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 11:56:47 AM   
naughtygeisha


Posts: 32
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		well Sir to answer Your question, He is the first Man i have been with who cheated on me so no it's no a pattern for me, i was a fool, fell for His smooth lines because i was in a vulnerable state in my life. It was nothing more than a bad case of character judgement on my part, i have sent Him an email with the information i received and advised Him that He is no longer a part of my life, i deserve better than that it's that simple, i cannot give myself fully to someone who is just a user.He is the one losing out in this case, not i, it may seem disrespectful to some but that is how it is for me. i know my own worth and what i have to offer, and if that isn't good enough for Him ,,well tough titty said the kitty to the cow, i know there is Someone out there who knows what i have to offer and will appreciate and cherish my gift of submission for what it is, not someone who will use it to Their advantage to get Their rocks off or keep me on the sidelines just in case. i have decided to not advise the other girls. i'm sure they will find out on their own ,if i tell them it will be seen as ,,,"oh she's just pissed at Me because i don't want her" let them find out and deal with it on their own. my first responsibility right now is to me and when the time comes i will be a fully healed submissive and He will be my first responsibility.


Again thank Y/you all for the wonderful advice and insight into this i'm sure there are alot more out there with the same doubts or questions that this post will help.

< Message edited by naughtygeisha -- 10/20/2006 12:11:12 PM >

_____________________________

Submission is the greatest gift there is , Why throw it away, cherish it and be cherished

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 12:59:07 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I kind of agree with CrappyDom here.

While its true that its best not to blame the victim, I have found it fruitful in the past to analyze why I made a particular bad choice that I did in order to avoid making the same mistake twice.  You may choose to call him out on his cheating, or you may choose to just walk, but either way, you're left with the consequences of a bad decision and I'm sure it won't do anyone any harm if you ask yourself what made you get involved with this guy in the first place.

I guess the idea here is that you could use this as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.

(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 3:03:54 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Why do you choose men who cheat on you?



See, the problem with this question is that the men in question do not announce their cheating tendencies to you at the beginning of a relationship.  They are more concerned with impressing you with their wonderfulness and "good" intentions and pretending to be on their best behavior so that they can get what they want.  They make promises, they talk a good talk, we decide they're a great guy and would NEVER do that to us.  And then they get bored and go off to make some other conquest.

So, we either become repeat offenders who pick the cheaters because they SEEM to be good people, or, we become jaded and distrustful of ALL men.  Which then earns us the complaints of "How come women never like nice guys?" 

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 4:49:03 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I am NOT kidding, patterns are patterns, if you have partners who cheat on you, YOU are choosing cheaters.  That is NOT the same as blaming you for their cheating.

Battered women tend to pick batterers, alcoholics tend to pick enablers, shallow people tend to pick people who are shallow.

I have never had women in my life who cheat on me, but I DO choose women with other patterns, it is human nature.  As we mature, grow, and learn we can sometimes recognize and change those patterns but recognition IS the first step in changing those patterns.


If it happens once it is an isolated instance, if it happens more than once it is a pattern. Considering many people cheat on each other, it maybe just dumb luck! If I had more than one or 2 lovers that cheated on me I would wonder if I was picking them wrong... but I do not like repeating the past screw ups.

So far most of my relationships failed for differing reasons, but I did have one pattern, and once I discovered it, it seems to have cured it...

to the OP, if you keep on picking lying assholes that cheat on you, well there maybe a pattern for ya

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 5:34:37 PM   
TheeBigBadWolf


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Your comment makes it sound as if a good majority of men cheat and women are the innocent victims.  I am here to tell you that the playing field is completely level when it comes to cheaters.  Women are just as bad, if not worse than men.  What makes women worse is that they make accusations, and create a ruckus about men being cheaters.  Nothing worse than a hypocrite!!!

But in being with the topic.  You always confront them, then walk away.  Lied to once, lied to again and again.  But atleast they know why.  And that is very important so that they know they didn't get away with it and that you just simply lost interest.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 8:53:35 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheeBigBadWolf

Your comment makes it sound as if a good majority of men cheat and women are the innocent victims.  I am here to tell you that the playing field is completely level when it comes to cheaters.  Women are just as bad, if not worse than men.  What makes women worse is that they make accusations, and create a ruckus about men being cheaters.  Nothing worse than a hypocrite!!!



First of all I agree with you 100%. It takes two to tango and all the research that has been done on this shows that  men cheat more then women but by a small percentage only. Second, from just a far glance theoretical discussion you are dead on as the words mentioned here look like it is painted that men are the only ones that cheat.

But the fact is the comments made by me and some others are in reference to the OP and that situation was the man cheating and not the woman. 

I do not think anything written here is hypocritical at all or you do not understand the meaning. I cannot speak for others but if this was posted about a woman cheating and lying to a man I would have given the same advice and if it was a pattern the man had experienced the advice of CrappyDom first mentioned would still be valid in my eyes as well.

If you want to start a thread about a girlfriend cheating on you I would be more then happy to post a comment about dumping the bitch and tell her off if you want. :)





(in reply to TheeBigBadWolf)
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RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 9:23:06 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		Good for you for realising that he doesn't deserve you! For getting upset about the problem, seeing what happened, learning from the experience, and moving on! lol :D That is more then many can do and would rather sit and wallow in the pain. It will take time to heal, but you are doing a great job.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/20/2006 10:10:05 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Windchimes,

Peoples relationships follow patterns because they choose a certain type of person although that changes over life.  One can tell it wasn't a random mistake when it happens over and over again.  Let me state it again, I am NOT blaming the victim, simply pointing out there role in the drama.

I am familiar with a whole pile of patterns (the ones that swirl around me) but cheating isn't one of them and so I don't have much specific advice.

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/21/2006 9:37:56 PM   
sweetnsasse


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		i would certainly warn the ohter girls. cheaters whether they are doms or subs need to be exposed

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/22/2006 8:19:46 AM   
naughtygeisha


Posts: 32
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
to the OP, if you keep on picking lying assholes that cheat on you, well there maybe a pattern for ya
[/quote]



i posted earlier that it was the first time, not a pattern.

< Message edited by naughtygeisha -- 10/22/2006 8:20:41 AM >

_____________________________

Submission is the greatest gift there is , Why throw it away, cherish it and be cherished

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/22/2006 9:42:07 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtygeisha

well Sir to answer Your question, He is the first Man i have been with who cheated on me so no it's no a pattern for me, i was a fool, fell for His smooth lines because i was in a vulnerable state in my life. It was nothing more than a bad case of character judgement on my part, i have sent Him an email with the information i received and advised Him that He is no longer a part of my life, i deserve better than that it's that simple, i cannot give myself fully to someone who is just a user.He is the one losing out in this case, not i, it may seem disrespectful to some but that is how it is for me. i know my own worth and what i have to offer, and if that isn't good enough for Him ,,well tough titty said the kitty to the cow, i know there is Someone out there who knows what i have to offer and will appreciate and cherish my gift of submission for what it is, not someone who will use it to Their advantage to get Their rocks off or keep me on the sidelines just in case. i have decided to not advise the other girls. i'm sure they will find out on their own ,if i tell them it will be seen as ,,,"oh she's just pissed at Me because i don't want her" let them find out and deal with it on their own. my first responsibility right now is to me and when the time comes i will be a fully healed submissive and He will be my first responsibility.


Again thank Y/you all for the wonderful advice and insight into this i'm sure there are alot more out there with the same doubts or questions that this post will help.


Looks like ya got it figured out...good luck!

(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/22/2006 7:08:24 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		<wicked grin>  Sure i know what to do!  You make sure you have gathered up some good proof and it always helps if you find out from some one they know and then say.  HEY!  Guess what? 

I have found that proof is very important as cheaters do tend to lie and will try and talk their way out of it.  I have literally had ppl work hard on convincing me they didnt cheat.  Feelings are great, but with out proof positive - there will always be some way for them to lie their way out.  Leaving you uncertian.  Its amazing at how some ppl are so good with their mouths. ha ha. 

i'd say just walk.  Cheaters lie, they manipulate - there is literally no winning.  Walk cos if you dont and even if they DO stop, you'll never believe it. 

(in reply to stockingluvr54)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/23/2006 2:05:10 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Windchimes,

Peoples relationships follow patterns because they choose a certain type of person although that changes over life.  One can tell it wasn't a random mistake when it happens over and over again.  Let me state it again, I am NOT blaming the victim, simply pointing out there role in the drama.

I am familiar with a whole pile of patterns (the ones that swirl around me) but cheating isn't one of them and so I don't have much specific advice.


I hear what you're saying, and I do agree with it, to a point.  What I'm saying is that there's a difference in a woman who KNOWS a guy has a bad track record, or has a "bad boy" reputation, KNOWs there's a good chance he could cheat on her, but hooks up with him anyway, thinking she can change him, or that she is his Great White Hope. And who keeps "choosing" to be involved with these types of men anyway.  And the woman who has been burned, so is much more cautious, moves slowly in a new relationship, keeps her guard up, watches for the "signs", but doesn't see any, and takes her time deciding that he doesn't SEEM to be a cheater, so she decides to trust him, only to THEN have him grow tired of being on his best behavior and start cheating and letting his true colors show.  That was NOT a choice to be with a cheater, quite the opposite!

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 40
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