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RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/24/2006 3:30:04 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i am sorry you are going through this and i sincerely hope you realize that His cheating isn't about you.  i agree with the other posters that you should confront Him but not when you are angry, just announce to Him that you are moving on and why.  Don't expect that to change Him, but it will give you a better feeling of closure.  Then forgive.  Forgiveness is for the forgiver, not the forgiven, you don't even need to tell Him you forgive Him, just do it because it will cleanse you from the toxins of anger. 

i have always followed the train of thought that if someone will lie about small things they will lie about big things.  It's not easy to remain open-minded, over the years it gets easier to get jaded, but i also don't want to visit the sins of one upon all the others.  Look at the little things, little fibs, little inconsistancies and ask gently about those first before there is a chance for the "big lie"  it helps.  My father told me "Trust everyone, but always cut the cards."

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(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/24/2006 4:21:40 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		How important is this person to you?  is this a person you want in your life, regardless of it being for play/friend/dominant/master...etc.?  Is it worth the effort?

Your answer boils down to choice.  It boils down to what you can and can not live with.  Is this something that can be worked through?  can two adults sit down and find out what it is they want of each other, negotiate, communicate, then do the next right thing by being consistant in that decision to make it happen? 

It boils down to choice.

~smilezz~

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(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/24/2006 6:46:56 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Doesn't matter if you talk to him or not. The bottom line is that you aren't going to ever be able to trust him again.

What to do next is to go get a STD scan.

About the other women? You don't know if he promised them an exclusive relationship or not, if not then he isn't doing anything inappropriate with them. Moreover why would they believe you? Some strange woman calls and tells them she was seeing this man at the same time, she'll call him and he'll paint you as a crazy stalker.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/24/2006 9:10:52 AM   
naughtygeisha


Posts: 32
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Doesn't matter if you talk to him or not. The bottom line is that you aren't going to ever be able to trust him again.

What to do next is to go get a STD scan.

About the other women? You don't know if he promised them an exclusive relationship or not, if not then he isn't doing anything inappropriate with them. Moreover why would they believe you? Some strange woman calls and tells them she was seeing this man at the same time, she'll call him and he'll paint you as a crazy stalker.



i am no fool, safe sex was practised at all times, i don't trust anyone that much, i did not tell the others nor do i plan on it, i mentioned before that i would be seen as a crazy woman who was just pissed because He wasn't with me anymore. i do still talk to Him but have not played with Him since and He knows why, says He's kicking Himself in the butt now for not realizing what He had and i agreed with Him .

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/24/2006 11:10:01 AM   
Iskander


Posts: 264
Joined: 9/26/2006
Status: offline 		String him along, get him to buy you expensive gifts, then to dump him organise a date in an exclusive restaurant and instead of going, send him a male strippogram with a loud an public message of "you're dumped sweetie"...

Iskander...


(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/25/2006 1:04:51 AM   
Zensee


Posts: 1564
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		I'd take issue with those who recommend punishing him, especially publicly in any way.

However justified one may feel in calling out a cheater and however satisfying it might feel, it will be witnessed by others, including potential partners. Drama is something to avoid of you wish to retain your dignity and shelf life in a community.

****

CrappyDom - "Why do you choose men who cheat on you?"

This is not a general statement - it was directed and personal. It was also unsupported by anything the OP said before or since you made it. 0

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/25/2006 2:45:07 AM   
UnvailedPurpose


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Question; what of a self-enhancing nature do you hope to achieve by allowing troubling thoughts and/or pursuing a so-called calling out?

(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/25/2006 7:07:13 AM   
naughtygeisha


Posts: 32
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UnvailedPurpose

Question; what of a self-enhancing nature do you hope to achieve by allowing troubling thoughts and/or pursuing a so-called calling out?


i am not pursuing it, i have told Him that i no longer want to see Him and that He lost not i. i have also stated a few times that i am not going to advise the other girls as i would seem jealous and spiteful when in reality it is only concern for them that would make me tell them. As for publicly humiliating Him, i find that totally unneeded although the strip-o-gram was a good idea lol. He will not change and that is His loss for He will never find His one that makes Him complete,that in itself is more than enough punishment for Him. He will never know the completeness that i will when i find my One.The best way i can think of to get even is to be happier than i ever was with Him.

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Submission is the greatest gift there is , Why throw it away, cherish it and be cherished

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/25/2006 7:29:25 AM   
UnvailedPurpose


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		naughtygeisha: Indeed, engulf yourself in happiness…dismiss every thought of him and deeply submerge yourself in the wonder and splendor that lingers within you.

(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/25/2006 7:34:42 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtygeisha

i am no fool, safe sex was practised at all times, i don't trust anyone that much



I was not sufficiently explicit apparently. My apologies.

Some of the std's can be passed through general contact and are not prevented by condom use. That means if he was wearing a condom, then your groins were touching, his tongue presumably was in your mouth and other parts of your body if you did not use dental dams. It's for those other diseases that I suggested a scan.

(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/25/2006 5:12:51 PM   
naughtygeisha


Posts: 32
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		i had been very careful , there was limited contact, play only occured a couple of times but you're right it only takes once, i did get tested immediatly after i found out that was 2 weeks ago, everything came back clear. i realize that some can have a dormant period so will get tested again in another month or so.

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Submission is the greatest gift there is , Why throw it away, cherish it and be cherished

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/26/2006 12:46:45 PM   
ChelseaSubTS


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		Having been in this situation i can tell you the best thing to do usually is to simply let him know that you know, tell him how it makes you feel, then make sure he knows it is over and you want nothing to do with him ever again.  You can do all of this without drama, in fact staying calm about it will let him know that he didn't break you down by his actions.  Don't ask for explanations because men like that are full of lies and excuses.  Don't try to talk it out because if he did it once he will do it again.  He has lied and cheated, and has shown the type of person he is, if you continue to have anything to do with this person then from now on you would only deserve what happens. 

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/27/2006 8:11:45 PM   
cherishableslave


Posts: 22
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		 My advice to you girl is kick him to the curb!! you deserve alot better than him, and he lost out and when he walks out tell him not to hit ass on the door on the way out! The behavior on his part is completly UNEXCEPTABLE. He is not a real Master, because a real Master would be honest 100% with you and would not cheat if i was you i would tell your so-called Master how you feel. As for the other girls let them find out on their own what dog he is because they will because as the saying goes "what goes around comes around". Goodluck to you girl

                                                              Sincerely Ryboom's Lil girl

(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/27/2006 10:03:59 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I would say be greatful that you found out he's a lying troll now before you invested more time.

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 11/4/2006 3:32:23 PM   
chevyevie88


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/5/2006
Status: offline 		I still feel that My Master, maybe cheating and it does hurt.. I called him on it but , He still says He doesnt, I have told him i want out  of the relationship , and I wont stay, to hell with the cheaters let them get hurt and see what it feels like, Hmmmmmmm... suckers

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 11/5/2006 3:43:55 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings
 
i see many of you have suggest she gave him a chance? why why should she this he not her husband if this were a normal realtionship many of the woman would want his head on a platter. but ,many of you say find out why give him a chance i had to repeat iit again i am in dismay. this is my take on it i am a domme if i had a submissive cheat on me i would let him go and fast he will cheat again. there is no other way because he is a dom or master does this make him specail and he can cheat and get another chance is this true what if she cheated on him would she be given the same thoughts and kindness. he broke a specail thing they had no other partners , no stds a 24/7 realtionship no others in this. she must leave him she can find another master or dom someone who will be true to her once a cheat always a cheat sorry ladies and males i find this to be not right. he may bring something home she wish she never had
 
i do wish you happy time and a life
 
mons

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/27/2008 3:24:38 PM   
TheKinksman


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/25/2007
From: John L Levis
Status: offline 		Chevy88,I also notice too just like you do too.That a hell of alot of both the guy's & girl's in our local area.Think nothing at all about cheating on their partner's/lover's.And that make's the faithful partner's/lover's,look like A-1 asshole's.Putting up with this uncalled for bull shit crap of their's.And both make's us furious and hurt,to boot.And it also make's it much harder trusting another future partner/lover,too.Especially with alot of the guy's & girl's cheating,in our local area.On their faithful partner's/lover's.I found out a long time ago.This local area is to small for the guy's & girl's who cheat on their faithful partner's/lover's.To get away with their uncalled for bull shit crap,for very long.That sooner or later,the faithful partner's/lover's will find out through word of mouth.Or they will catch their unfaithful shit bird's[a U.S.M.C.term] partner's/lover's "red handed in the act's", so to speak.And this is my truthful honest take on this fucked up local area's no culture & no class,"valley boy's & girl's" cheater's,aliases partner's/lover's.

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THE KINKSMAN BD/SM DOMINANT MASTER JOHN BUDDY LEVIS

(in reply to chevyevie88)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/27/2008 6:14:38 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Vanilla, D/s, or any other form of relationship, my answer would be the same: call him out, tell him to be gone. 
  Davan

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/27/2008 8:05:47 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Well, since it happened two years ago, let's hope she figured out how to call him out on it by now.



Cali


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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How do You call Him out on cheating? - 10/27/2008 8:46:46 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		Just Call him out on it for the cheating Bastard he is, snap shot him in the face with the elastic from those thong panties he bought you.   Hang his picture up on a dart board, get drunk, leave an angry 3am phone call.  Tell him you are going to cut his balls off... get all crazy and violent sounding scare the piss out of him.   hahahaha...

Or the less drama filled way, is to simply walk away peacefully as you can.  Don't let it eat you up inside.  Find yourself somebody who is honest.

(in reply to naughtygeisha)
Profile   Post #: 60
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