What do you think?

What do you think? (Full Version)

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Tenebrious -> What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:04:26 AM)
Am I the only one that thinks that a lot of people involved with this lifestyle are too uptight and judgmental? I couldn't count the number of times that I've witnessed somebody getting irate because of a little harmless humor or arguing to death the specific meanings of ambiguous terms. In my experience, people often tend to jump to insane conclusions about almost anything, will hold a lifelong grudge against somebody for simply disagreeing with them and have no problem vocalizing their dislike for others to great lengths. I've witnessed people being told that they don't have any understanding of or real experience with anything related to BDSM, because of their personal views, the wording they use, something they say in jest or over a simple misunderstanding. I've also seen people berated as a person, just because of something as simple as their role preference or interest in a particular type of scene. Is this lifestyle really that full of uptight, judgmental people who don't realize that we already get more than enough of that crap from people who don't identify, or do I have the wrong impression? I thought being kinky was supposed to make things more fun, but sometimes it seems like it just provides a new invitation for all of the negative drama that's present everywhere else. I think that if we as a group ever expect to stop being judged so harshly by others we are going to have to display a little more acceptance of each other first. By the way, I totally expect to be chewed out at least a few times for this post, but I think it needed to be said.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:13:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tenebrious Am I the only one that thinks that a lot of people involved with this lifestyle are too uptight and judgmental? Uptight? Yes. Judgemental? No, but they are often really crappy at making GOOD judgements. quote: I think that if we as a group ever expect to stop being judged so harshly by others we are going to have to display a little more acceptance of each other first. In order to accept something, you have to judge it. You aren't the first nor the last to say something like this. The reality is that people in the scene are just like people not in the scene. To expect difference is unrealistic.

texancutie -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:15:56 AM)
I am certainly not going to chew you out. I get tired of the 'one true way people' myself. Some of it is just plain silly, but you can't escape those type of people in nilla life or in the BDSM world. People are people the world round. I do agree that acceptance and tolerance of others is very important in this, when it is reality based of course.

michaelGA2 -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:17:26 AM)
CASE DISMISSED [sm=argue.gif]

toservez -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:24:27 AM)
I am going to be like most who write here. Being in this life does not make your human behavior better then the "regular" people. We still want to be accepted, afraid of differences, want to feel better then other people like smarter, wiser, prettier and the like and a whole other bunch of things we humans do. Obvioulsy based on personality, experiences and other things people react to these things on different levels and this is where you get judgments, arguments and other things that consume this life as well as everything in the world. I do not think you wrote anything wrong Tenebrious, but your question is basically why can't we all get along and be tolerant of people who are different from us? Unfortunately the answer throughout world history is simply because we can't!

Iskander -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:37:42 AM)
Being a bit judgemental there aren't you? [:D] It's probably a case of a squeeky wheel gathers no moss... no hang on a rolling stone gets the grease... errr a squeeky wheel gets the grease, thats it.. So those that are loudest think like they'll get more attention... I do see the irony in your message one could almost say you are doing that which you are not condoning... [;)] Iskander...

stockingluvr54 -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:42:07 AM)
THREAD HIJACK! Well boys and girls.....think we may have a new contender (texancutie) for the Female Eye Candy awards...????? jmho

Aine -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:48:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iskander Being a bit judgemental there aren't you? [:D] It's probably a case of a squeeky wheel gathers no moss... no hang on a rolling stone gets the grease... errr a squeeky wheel gets the grease, thats it.. So those that are loudest think like they'll get more attention... I do see the irony in your message one could almost say you are doing that which you are not condoning... [;)] Iskander... I just read that, drinking a coke and laughed AND hiccuped at the same time. That was painful.

texancutie -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:53:22 AM)
Eeeks...Thank you stockinglvr54...but it is just all in the eyes of the beholder. I am just an average person posting to the forums...but thanks! :)

Iskander -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:56:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aine I just read that, drinking a coke and laughed AND hiccuped at the same time. That was painful. Now only if it had come out of your nose as well, then you'd know pain... [:D] Iskander...

Iskander -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:58:05 AM)
I'd like to add that she has a nice pussy too... You did notice the pussy in the pic? [:)] Iskander...

Tenebrious -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 9:58:59 AM)
Yes, I had thought about the possible interpretation of me being judgmental by posting such a message and I admit that it is most likely impossible to go through life without making any judgments. I have been accused of being a bit quixotic on more than one occasion as well, so I'm not surprized that was mentioned either. :) I'm also aware that the overall attitude is comparable to that of vanilla life, but my impression is that the "negative button" seems a little easier to push and stays depressed longer when it comes to this subculture. Is it possible that some people in this lifestyle are just so accustomed to being the brunt of abuse by others that they have become more defensive and sometimes even aggressive toward each other? Even if it is unrealistic, I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that a group of people such as this one can find a common thread and be more generally supportive of each other than is "normal" everywhere else. Keep up the discussion, people. This is good stuff! :)

Aine -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 10:01:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Iskander I'd like to add that she has a nice pussy too... You did notice the pussy in the pic? [:)] Iskander... starts swearing a blue streak as it almost comes out her nose this time Fucking fizz....

Iskander -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 10:07:24 AM)
Nah, I thought it was fair comment.. We just got back from a comedy show featuring Hughsie!!! So my mood is a bit on the silly side right now... I think you also have to consider an argument on a forum that has a lifespan of days would be a 5 minute argument IRL, so it seems far worse, then add to that the incompleteness of the medium for communication and it's easy to misinterpret what someone says and jump to conclusions. Before you know it a discussion on toenail clipping has snowballed into a full scale debate about torturing people with red hot needles under toenails without consent... Iskander...

Iskander -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 10:14:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aine starts swearing a blue streak as it almost comes out her nose this time Fucking fizz.... points Aine to the drinking 101 classes [:D] Iskander...

Aine -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 10:17:41 AM)
holds up her manual: "How to not read threads while drinking"

Tenebrious -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 10:20:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aine starts swearing a blue streak as it almost comes out her nose this time Fucking fizz.... I made somebody spew chunky soup from their nose once... Great fun [sm=banana.gif]

CrappyDom -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 10:21:30 AM)
We need to execute all the extremists right now! So I am intolerant of some and you are intolerant of some, the only difference is who we choose to be intolerant of and why. I have always found groups that tolerate anything to be more fucked up than those who don't. However, many of those who are intolerant are absolutely intolerable to me. So from there, I can make two choices, recognize my infallibility or admit than I am fallible and then judge accordingly, I admit the latter and try and judge with that in mind.

DivaExMachina -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 10:32:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tenebrious Am I the only one that thinks that a lot of people involved with this lifestyle are too uptight and judgmental? ... snip ... I think that if we as a group ever expect to stop being judged so harshly by others we are going to have to display a little more acceptance of each other first. I like reading the threads where people have vociferous disagreements. I think they make interesting reading. Years ago I posted on a message board with a clear left wing majority but also some members who were quite right wing, as well as some libertarians and others. They would have huge 'fights' about political points, some of which got quite rude and disrespecful. Eventually the majority decided to elect some moderators who deleted posts they found to be inflammatory or offensive. Some members they even banned. In my opinion this made for an extremely bland environment which was not worth participating in any more. Personally, I enjoy people who are judgemental, even if they are judging me. But then, I also don't particularly care if we 'as a group' are judged harshly, either (whether or not BDSMers could be considered a coherent group is for another discussion). As long as they aren't committing us to mental asylums it doesn't bother me if people think I'm a nasty pervert.

Sinergy -> RE: What do you think? (10/20/2006 10:37:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Tenebrious quote: ORIGINAL: Aine starts swearing a blue streak as it almost comes out her nose this time Fucking fizz.... I made somebody spew chunky soup from their nose once... Great fun [sm=banana.gif] I made my mother spew Chardonnay out her nose in a fine restaurant once. Was probably wrong, but I still laugh about it. Sinergy

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