RE: sorry - just don't get it... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Sinergy -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 7:13:28 PM)

 
Hello A/all,

I have not particularly enjoyed my fMf experiences in life, to be honest, although I would have to admit it does beat masturbating hands (as it were) down.

If the person I am in a dynamic with is sexually attracted to other women, I can enjoy it, but if she is not, it is not a big deal to me to watch her munch carpet.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy



LaMinx -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 7:23:31 PM)

To be honest, I don't get it either.

I'm a slave, so i'm being forced into both being bi and poly, neither of which appeals to me.  Yes i could walk away, but i adore him, so i won't.  I know most men seem to love the idea of two girls fucking each other, but i have never quite understood why.

At least you are at the stage where if this really bothers you, you can pull out with no further damage done.  Don't take it further unless you know you can cope or you will end up in my situation where i have to do it or lose the man i love.

Wish me luck.

LM x



LadyHugs -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 8:31:57 PM)

Dear wouldlike2, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eye; I feel that one does not require a relationship to have sex and sex isn't required in a relationship.  Anybody can bring others into a sexual two-some; which makes a three-or-more some; which would be considered swinging and or casual sex, if it was casual and or poly if it was encased in a relationship between the three or more somes, exclusive to those in the 'inner core'.
 
In a dominant's perspective, only difference is I am female, heterosexual and enjoy seeing two men making love to each other and having sex; I do feel that men and women are wired differently as to why we enjoy same gender sex.  In speaking from my personal experiences, my first slave was Gay --his commitment to me was not sexual and, must say--the most satisfying relationship I ever had--I did not have sex with him and I was thrilled that I didn't 'have to' have sex but, as his "Master" he did need some sexual interaction.  So, his slave brother filled that void.  I can tell you, that having two slaves making love wasn't a 'cheap' sex thrill for me but, being witness to two lads--my slaves, who felt love for each other.  I was their invited guest in something beautiful, as well as their Master.
 
Here is what is in my mind's eye--It is the dominant's duty to put on the table why he/she wishes to have certain gender slaves and how they enter into the scheme of things, as well as what relationship they will have.  One thing Old School thought on gender and sex, is that it shouldn't be forced.  Force changes who one is--resentment may come of it and, its against their true nature/spirit.  There will be curiosity and experimentation indeed.  However, such exposure to satisfy the curious nature of humans, is not an automatic gender sex assignment; such Gay, BI-sexual, etc.
 
There are times when someone that draws closely as to tempt or have a passing wish/curious exposure of a sexual nature.  However, it usually is more than their sex appeal but, the personality that presents such sex appeal.
 
I would personally be wary, of any dominant who exposed their genitals like some dancing worm on the end of a hook, as to entice or bait the submissive into submission based on sex first.  If that is all they have on their minds as to have two women to have sexual puppets to command and control; they don't look at the woman as a total person.  The same can be said for men, when they are seen only for their sex appeal instead of their entire being.
 
Any individual, regardless of role--should be real with themselves and figure their total worth, beyond sex and or sexuality.  Frankly, I would not mind to take sex out of the relationship recipe` as, sex is fleeting moments whereas, the relationship remains constant.
 
Those who will not see beyond the gender and the sex, don't see anything else.  They can rent a porn film and enjoy it.  But, people have feelings, needs and the security; that they are seen beyond sexual performance and seen as a sensual being.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 



jesskitty -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 10:57:59 PM)

it seems like a sterotype to me. 'bisexual=being intersted in threesomes'. i'm personally bisexual and not intersted in threesomes or being with more than one person. i'm very territorial and feel like after getting with someone that person is mine and i am theirs plain and simple.  in a sense it's to each your own but i get extremly tired of the sterotype that all bisexual women are polyamours and are into group sex.



marieToo -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 11:05:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesskitty

it seems like a sterotype to me. 'bisexual=being intersted in threesomes'. i'm personally bisexual and not intersted in threesomes or being with more than one person. i'm very territorial and feel like after getting with someone that person is mine and i am theirs plain and simple.  in a sense it's to each your own but i get extremly tired of the sterotype that all bisexual women are polyamours and are into group sex.


hi jess:

If you don't mind my asking, does this mean that you get involved in a monogamous relationship with either a male or a female, but never with both at the same time?  

Don't mind me, Im kinda slow with this stuff.  :)



DiurnalVampire -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 11:05:32 PM)

The common fantasy is for a man to be with 2 women.  I am bisexual, but I have no interest in 3somes.  I do not particularly like seeing my partner with someone else.  I have been in both polyamorous and monogamous relationships.  Regardless, I have never liked the idea of SEEING my chosen partner with someone else, same sex or opposite. Its the same reason I am not into forced bi, I dont want my boy with someone else.  Right now, we are monogamous and I plan on keeping it that way.

However, 3somes do not necessarily mean polyamoury. There is an actual relationship among all members when it is part of a poly dynamic. The few 3way interactions I have been involved with tended to have a 2 person set with a third brought in for flavor.  That third was usually not someone they interacted with again.  This is yet something else I disliked about the whole arrangement, but I know fr some it works wonderfully.  Just not my cup of tea.

My 2 cents.
DV  



marieToo -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 11:10:52 PM)

Here's what I don't get.  If you're bisexual and in an long term monogamous relationship with one gender or the other, what do you do with the other 'half' of your sexual desires?  Are you able to turn those feelings off?



jesskitty -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 11:16:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesskitty

it seems like a sterotype to me. 'bisexual=being intersted in threesomes'. i'm personally bisexual and not intersted in threesomes or being with more than one person. i'm very territorial and feel like after getting with someone that person is mine and i am theirs plain and simple.  in a sense it's to each your own but i get extremly tired of the sterotype that all bisexual women are polyamours and are into group sex.


hi jess:

If you don't mind my asking, does this mean that you get involved in a monogamous relationship with either a male or a female, but never with both at the same time?  

Don't mind me, Im kinda slow with this stuff.  :)

hi there! this is exactly right. right now i'm with a male, and i do not intend to be with a female at the same time, nor any other male. for me it has been as natural being bisexual and my mongamus relationship preference as it is probably as natural for you to be submissive.

i would like to anologize that most vanillia people can not or do not fully understand various bdsm aspects even after giving exlpinations, and this is what i find in some straight people as well. for some people if they don't live it it is hard for them to understand such.

and as your 'other half' comment, let me ask you this: if you are daiting someone and your mongamus what happens to your attractions to males? do they go away? probably not, but due to hypothetically being a mongamus person you are only intersted in acknowleding their attractiveness and not seeking a relationship with that person in any form. just pure admiration. same thing for me. just because i am 50-50 attracted to both sexes evenly doesn't mean i'm going to want to ditch my current partner for the next hottest thing on the block, be it mail or female. and it doesn't make me any less bi, and it doesn't make me not express my sexuality. i think with things such as this it is easier to think of it as less inside the box but more outside the box.



shadevarr -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 11:21:24 PM)

Myself, I have had threesomes both ways and I didn't find them as good as one on one but I always want that option open. I know that there may come a time when I want to fuck someone else other than my slave and I place that eventuality on the table early on a relationship with the knowledge that they may as well but the other must be in the room and either watch or hop in. On the other hand, I still don't understand poly.



marieToo -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 11:26:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesskitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesskitty

it seems like a sterotype to me. 'bisexual=being intersted in threesomes'. i'm personally bisexual and not intersted in threesomes or being with more than one person. i'm very territorial and feel like after getting with someone that person is mine and i am theirs plain and simple.  in a sense it's to each your own but i get extremly tired of the sterotype that all bisexual women are polyamours and are into group sex.


hi jess:

If you don't mind my asking, does this mean that you get involved in a monogamous relationship with either a male or a female, but never with both at the same time?  

Don't mind me, Im kinda slow with this stuff.  :)

hi there! this is exactly right. right now i'm with a male, and i do not intend to be with a female at the same time, nor any other male. for me it has been as natural being bisexual and my mongamus relationship preference as it is probably as natural for you to be submissive.

i would like to anologize that most vanillia people can not or do not fully understand various bdsm aspects even after giving exlpinations, and this is what i find in some straight people as well. for some people if they don't live it it is hard for them to understand such.

and as your 'other half' comment, let me ask you this: if you are daiting someone and your mongamus what happens to your attractions to males? do they go away? probably not, but due to hypothetically being a mongamus person you are only intersted in acknowleding their attractiveness and not seeking a relationship with that person in any form. just pure admiration. same thing for me. just because i am 50-50 attracted to both sexes evenly doesn't mean i'm going to want to ditch my current partner for the next hottest thing on the block, be it mail or female. and it doesn't make me any less bi, and it doesn't make me not express my sexuality. i think with things such as this it is easier to think of it as less inside the box but more outside the box.



Yes, this makes sense.  Your analogy here is very good and did give me some understanding of it.  In other words, you can have a meaningful relationship with either male or female, but you dont need both in your life at the same time;  you just need one or the other.   Is that about right?



jesskitty -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 11:44:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesskitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: jesskitty

it seems like a sterotype to me. 'bisexual=being intersted in threesomes'. i'm personally bisexual and not intersted in threesomes or being with more than one person. i'm very territorial and feel like after getting with someone that person is mine and i am theirs plain and simple.  in a sense it's to each your own but i get extremly tired of the sterotype that all bisexual women are polyamours and are into group sex.


hi jess:

If you don't mind my asking, does this mean that you get involved in a monogamous relationship with either a male or a female, but never with both at the same time?  

Don't mind me, Im kinda slow with this stuff.  :)

hi there! this is exactly right. right now i'm with a male, and i do not intend to be with a female at the same time, nor any other male. for me it has been as natural being bisexual and my mongamus relationship preference as it is probably as natural for you to be submissive.

i would like to anologize that most vanillia people can not or do not fully understand various bdsm aspects even after giving exlpinations, and this is what i find in some straight people as well. for some people if they don't live it it is hard for them to understand such.

and as your 'other half' comment, let me ask you this: if you are daiting someone and your mongamus what happens to your attractions to males? do they go away? probably not, but due to hypothetically being a mongamus person you are only intersted in acknowleding their attractiveness and not seeking a relationship with that person in any form. just pure admiration. same thing for me. just because i am 50-50 attracted to both sexes evenly doesn't mean i'm going to want to ditch my current partner for the next hottest thing on the block, be it mail or female. and it doesn't make me any less bi, and it doesn't make me not express my sexuality. i think with things such as this it is easier to think of it as less inside the box but more outside the box.



Yes, this makes sense.  Your analogy here is very good and did give me some understanding of it.  In other words, you can have a meaningful relationship with either male or female, but you dont need both in your life at the same time;  you just need one or the other.   Is that about right?

exactly! and i consider myself to be bisexual because i am sexually attracted to both sexes AND i am able to be in a relationship with both sexes. i belive to many people consider themselves to be bisexual if they just like the feel of having sex with the same gender and the opposite. i disagree because if it feels good to you some people don't care how they get it but they really aren't intersted in it the same way i or another person might be. that ones abit more personal but that's my personal view on it.



shadevarr -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 11:52:21 PM)

There is a difference between bisexual and opportunistic. I am het, but if a guy wants to please me sexually I won't stop them but I have never felt attraction for another man.



Liar -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/21/2006 11:57:55 PM)

That’s an interesting question wouldlike2; First, I agree with that Master, even I don’t think being a poly and having a bi sub is same. People are different and so are there desires and I respect Him for being honest with his needs. Second, when it comes to having more then one sub, Many Dom/me likes to have bi subs, the reason might be any, f*** around like you said, or the desire to watch 2 subs (girls, will admit, it’s a turn on for Me as well) playing with each other, or the thought of, subs will be more understanding if they are bi (what I mean is trying to eliminate the envy factor, tho we A/all know it will never help), But I think if its mentioned before then its all good. Also Myself, I will never share Mine with anyone else.    



wouldlike2 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 5:06:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMinx

To be honest, I don't get it either.

I'm a slave, so i'm being forced into both being bi and poly, neither of which appeals to me.  Yes i could walk away, but i adore him, so i won't.  I know most men seem to love the idea of two girls fucking each other, but i have never quite understood why.

At least you are at the stage where if this really bothers you, you can pull out with no further damage done.  Don't take it further unless you know you can cope or you will end up in my situation where i have to do it or lose the man i love.

Wish me luck.

LM x


hello LaMinx

just to mention cause You talk from forced in being bi and poly. a situation i would not be in.
for me to do something based on fear - and i personally would take a situation to know i would loose the love - is abuse. but thats just me.. it does definitly set me in a situation i am not free in being what i am..
and please why W/we all do that stuff if there is no fun and W/we are not able to be who W/we are?

i wish You all luck i am able to.. and give You a big hug...


quote:

Also Myself, I will never share Mine with anyone else.

_____________________________

L.I.A.R.


hello Liar

i am not sure if i understand Your line right.
do You say You do enjoy watching but without participating?

i am really wondering in general that often it seems like the lifestyle of BDSM is equal with different partners be it for playing or deeper connections.
myself i am conviced about that i am able to life a D/s relation in a monogamous relation as well...
but thats just my point.. my need...

pet



eyesopened -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 5:17:55 AM)

i am not bisexual.  i know this because i've tried it.  i'm always willing to try before i say i like or don't like something. i have been passed by, rejected for this fact alone but that's probably for the best in the long run.   i would definately perform with another woman if i had a Master and He required it.  i would hate it but i would do it.  i hate cleaning the cat's litter box too but it's something that has to be done if i want a clean house.  And if Master or the other girl can find joy in the fact that i think sex with her is akin to cleaning a litter box well then that's fine with me.




smilezz -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 5:21:49 AM)

Whoaaa.........do i ever wish you luck on this one.

~smilezz~



Kalira -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 5:26:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

i am not bisexual.  i know this because i've tried it.  i'm always willing to try before i say i like or don't like something. i have been passed by, rejected for this fact alone but that's probably for the best in the long run.   i would definately perform with another woman if i had a Master and He required it.  i would hate it but i would do it.  i hate cleaning the cat's litter box too but it's something that has to be done if i want a clean house.  And if Master or the other girl can find joy in the fact that i think sex with her is akin to cleaning a litter box well then that's fine with me.



Now this, I can relate to. I like the way you put it here [:)]



wouldlike2 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 5:34:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

i am not bisexual.  i know this because i've tried it.  i'm always willing to try before i say i like or don't like something. i have been passed by, rejected for this fact alone but that's probably for the best in the long run.   i would definately perform with another woman if i had a Master and He required it.  i would hate it but i would do it.  i hate cleaning the cat's litter box too but it's something that has to be done if i want a clean house.  And if Master or the other girl can find joy in the fact that i think sex with her is akin to cleaning a litter box well then that's fine with me.



Now this, I can relate to. I like the way you put it here [:)]


to be honest Kalira - depends on

cleaning a litter box and i may hate it - does not touch me in a mental, emotional state.
myself i am emotional involved.. i am a person i do not f***, have sex...
for me it is always an expression of an emotional state... (thats me!!!)

i know people exist they seperate the emotions, feelings.. from the act of being in sexual intercourse with someOne. and thats fine...
it is just not me....

pet



eyesopened -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 5:41:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

i am not bisexual.  i know this because i've tried it.  i'm always willing to try before i say i like or don't like something. i have been passed by, rejected for this fact alone but that's probably for the best in the long run.   i would definately perform with another woman if i had a Master and He required it.  i would hate it but i would do it.  i hate cleaning the cat's litter box too but it's something that has to be done if i want a clean house.  And if Master or the other girl can find joy in the fact that i think sex with her is akin to cleaning a litter box well then that's fine with me.



Now this, I can relate to. I like the way you put it here [:)]


to be honest Kalira - depends on

cleaning a litter box and i may hate it - does not touch me in a mental, emotional state.
myself i am emotional involved.. i am a person i do not f***, have sex...
for me it is always an expression of an emotional state... (thats me!!!)

i know people exist they seperate the emotions, feelings.. from the act of being in sexual intercourse with someOne. and thats fine...
it is just not me....

pet



For me, that's the point.  i would not want to have sex with someone i cannot have some emotional connection to.  To have sex with a female would not be an emotional connection it would be a chore.  If i had a Master who wanted me to perform that chore i would do it because i'm obedient.  We may be asked to perform chores we don't like.



ScooterTrash -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 5:59:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wouldlike2

i do not wanna offend anyone here - but sorry i don't get it.


To me, there is really nothing to "get". He desires a sub/slave that is bi, does it really matter why? If you aren't...perhaps just move along, it's not a good fit. Trying to read the why into it just seems to be trying to put a negative connotation on him having a preference. I don't see this as any different than any other preference, like wanting a blonde, or wanting someone who enjoys flea markets, etc., it's just a preference. If you really want to know why...maybe just ask him.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125