RE: sorry - just don't get it...

RE: sorry - just don't get it... (Full Version)

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wouldlike2 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 6:02:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened For me, that's the point. i would not want to have sex with someone i cannot have some emotional connection to. To have sex with a female would not be an emotional connection it would be a chore. If i had a Master who wanted me to perform that chore i would do it because i'm obedient. We may be asked to perform chores we don't like. eyesopened i do see Your point in mention as a chore. but - and i know thats may a strange example - if Your Dom/Master tell You f*** that woman/ man and he take money for, telling You thats Your chore to make sure the financial situation is well.. You would define as chore? when it comes to my healthbeing - be it mental, physical...i have to take care of me... i do see a commitment as a fullfillment for both - all people are involved in. it does not mean i would not take any chores.. and also doing things i have to get over it.. but also defined in the space my hard limits are defined - and i have some.... pet

wouldlike2 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 6:04:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash quote: ORIGINAL: wouldlike2 i do not wanna offend anyone here - but sorry i don't get it. To me, there is really nothing to "get". He desires a sub/slave that is bi, does it really matter why? If you aren't...perhaps just move along, it's not a good fit. Trying to read the why into it just seems to be trying to put a negative connotation on him having a preference. I don't see this as any different than any other preference, like wanting a blonde, or wanting someone who enjoys flea markets, etc., it's just a preference. If you really want to know why...maybe just ask him. was not the point that i asked why he wants that... herefor i agree with You... it is not a good fit it was more the point.. about poly, bisexual and threesome... to get the difference... pet

Kalira -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 6:19:43 AM)
Hmm, About 3 years into my relationship with my late husband, a wager came up at a poker game between him and his friends. Each one of them there had a girl with them; the wager was that the winner could pick any girl in the room, and have her go down on any girl of his choosing. My late husband won; I had to go down on a girl. I hated it until I looked up at his face and saw the expression in his eyes as he watched me. There was such pride in his eyes that it turned a VERY unpleasant experience into one that became quite enjoyable. After that night, he never requested that I do it again; it never even came up in conversations. Would I do it for another? Sure, if the connection was there. It would not change the fact that I am not bisexual and that I find nothing about women appealing; but I still would do it. Only to see that look once again.

Mavis -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 6:43:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo Here's what I don't get. If you're bisexual and in an long term monogamous relationship with one gender or the other, what do you do with the other 'half' of your sexual desires? Are you able to turn those feelings off? Marie, sure, just like if you're monogomous and hetero... you might still notice nice looking males, but that doesn't mean you'll drop monogomy to be with every nice looking body or attractive personality you meet, regardless of gender or your own orientation. Being bi-sexual doesn't mean we cannot choose control our lusts just like straight people do.

LeatherLord2003 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 6:43:22 AM)
For me, I have no desire to be with multiple partners, never have desired it, probably never will, but then again, this lifestyle isn't about sex for me. Sex is a wonderful thing, but it is a result of not a means to submission, (read my profile I go into it in depth there). My outlook on this lifestyle is varied compared to many and it is why I keep my thoughts off the forums most of the time. It works for me in my world, live in your world any way you choose. That being said, here is my two cents worth. If the person is not what you desire, if they don't fit your needs, if they don't fill the void, then it is time to move on. If your mind tells you that you don't want to be bisexual, then don't do it. If your desire to please him was strong enough, you would look at being with a woman as a way to please him. If he has left doubt in your mind, (which he seems to have done), then you really need to rethink your invovlement with him. Another thing that makes me different is I use desire, not fear. I want you "wanting " to do what ever it is I ask... from inside, the very core of your being, not from fear... I know this doesn't answer your question persay, but it should make you think about the relationship you are in. Is he truely what you desire, or are you settling because you don't want to be alone? Are you willing to change who you are? Only he can answer as to why he wants you to be bi and only you can answer if it is right for you. Every person has needs, no matter what you are in this lifestyle...everyone....

eyesopened -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 6:51:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wouldlike2 eyesopened i do see Your point in mention as a chore. but - and i know thats may a strange example - if Your Dom/Master tell You f*** that woman/ man and he take money for, telling You thats Your chore to make sure the financial situation is well.. You would define as chore? when it comes to my healthbeing - be it mental, physical...i have to take care of me... i do see a commitment as a fullfillment for both - all people are involved in. it does not mean i would not take any chores.. and also doing things i have to get over it.. but also defined in the space my hard limits are defined - and i have some.... pet i am confused by your comment especially about finances since that was never part of the thread. The point is probably moot since i am not owned, have never been owned and have only performed with women as a show of obedience with the partners i've had.

Mavis -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 6:53:11 AM)
Sorry, when i posted off maries question, i hadn't gotten down to jesskittys reply. i didn't mean to create a needless echo. But then, two of us saying the same thing might help seeing it's fairly common thought process. ScooterTrashes comment on "why" reminds me of the thread about asking why.. and that is the key, a perfect example of .. are you asking why to decide if you could or should circumvent what he wants.. or to understand it better so you can deal with the reality of what he may want down the line? Intent again.

bandit25 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 6:56:49 AM)
I'm with Scooter...it doesn't really make any difference why. You two just are not a good fit. Now, seeing it as a chore wouldn't work for me, but, hey, if it works for someone else, that's great. Yeah, there are a lot of things I do that I don't want to do, but I see having sex with another woman as being a lifestyle choice...and I'm not one who agrees that slaves don't have choices. If my choice was to have sex with another woman or leave, well, sorry, but I'd leave. Of course, all this presupposes that bisexuality (on my part) was something that was discussed and agreed upon BEFORE we entered a relationship. Yes, I know that people's wants/needs/desires change, but again, I see this as a preference or choice. It may be something that a Master would want...in that case, it would be up to Him if He wanted it more than he wanted me. Simple. Course, I also understand that my needs/wants/desires could change too.

wouldlike2 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 7:28:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 I'm with Scooter...it doesn't really make any difference why. You two just are not a good fit. Now, seeing it as a chore wouldn't work for me, but, hey, if it works for someone else, that's great. Yeah, there are a lot of things I do that I don't want to do, but I see having sex with another woman as being a lifestyle choice...and I'm not one who agrees that slaves don't have choices. If my choice was to have sex with another woman or leave, well, sorry, but I'd leave. Of course, all this presupposes that bisexuality (on my part) was something that was discussed and agreed upon BEFORE we entered a relationship. Yes, I know that people's wants/needs/desires change, but again, I see this as a preference or choice. It may be something that a Master would want...in that case, it would be up to Him if He wanted it more than he wanted me. Simple. Course, I also understand that my needs/wants/desires could change too. i do agree with Your statement here bandit25 but i would like to clear something up. for me i was just wondering in general cause a lot of Dom/ Master want a bisexual sub/slave where does the difference lay in between poly and the statement of a Dom if i want to wish another sub playing with us it will happen. and i know also that my example about finance concerning the core was and is a strange one - provocate. but i would really like to ask then - how You define core? of course it is a core to do something i do not like and i will as long as it does not touch any hard limit of mine. a limit i do have for some good reason sometimes for people out side not understandable... i am with LeatherLord2003 - for me BDSM, D/s is not just sexual.. and it is not what i am "just" seeking here. the talking i had with that Dom and had before coming up so often was that they tell me for them it is totally different being in a poly and the desire they have to share the sub sexual - either just watching or to participate too. for me.. it is a kind of poly.. even for that moment... that was my main point and i hope i could explain this time [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s7.gif[/image] pet

Sub03 -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 9:54:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha My Master likes that I am bisexual not because he wants to have sex with other women, but because he can watch me have sex with them. It is very possible to be exclusive in a D/s relationship, it's just how the two people in it want to be. Master and I have agreed that he can share me. That doesn't make us in a poly, that just means we will mix it up and spice things a bit once in a while. He knows though that this doesn't give him free reign in just bringing people in and out of our bedroom. It is where he and I sit down discuss it and I have a say in who we involve. Some people can't think anything doesn't have to do with just sex, Doms and vanilla.. it might be a different game, but the players are the same. Akasha edited for grammer.. ugh. What she said

sharainks -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 10:07:36 AM)
I'll take a stab at this and probably make myself unpopular but thats ok. First off just because some guy online states that he's a dominant does not mean he is one. Many men figure out that women who call themselves submissives are easier targets. Its not just about bi-sexuality, or poly or anything else. Above all don't underestimate how many men will do this. What happens is the submissive who runs into this just gets confused. After awhile you figure out that if what they want is something that you can't grasp mentally, can't see yourself being a part of, then there is no reason to keep communicating with this person.

texancutie -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 10:22:28 AM)
I agree with Scooter and sharainks. Some people are just not a good match for each other. Also, I never just assume everyone I chat with is who they say they are. Just something I have learned over the years I have been online. The longer you talk with someone the more you get to know them. But I never just assume from a few chats or messages exchanged.

DivaExMachina -> RE: sorry - just don't get it... (10/22/2006 11:55:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened i would definately perform with another woman if i had a Master and He required it. i would hate it but i would do it. i hate cleaning the cat's litter box too but it's something that has to be done if i want a clean house. And if Master or the other girl can find joy in the fact that i think sex with her is akin to cleaning a litter box well then that's fine with me. Ditto. Fortunately I have found someone who understands my desire for a monogamous relationship.

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