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submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 5:52:51 AM   
submaleslaveuk


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Manchester UK
Status: offline 		Hi All,

i have been thinking recently about a certain incident which i will come to shortly but would like to ask the question if submission is always linked to a sexual need?

i personally feel that there are some submissives who only submit for a sexual purpose, also on the flip side there are submissives out there who feels it is their sole purpose in life to please other people.

i have been thinking about this recently as i was approached by a lesbian Dominant who wondered if i was interested in a post as their houseboy. At first i was quite excited by the idea and i think if this had come up in 5-10 years time i will probably jump at the chance as i do get a huge amount of pleasure out of service and pleasing others. i realised soon though that i would get no sexual relief out of this arrangement and as i am relatively new to the scene feel i havent experienced anough to give up that YET!

i hope this comes across ok but just wondering how much submission and sexuality are linked.

Cheers

submaleslaveuk
darren
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 6:14:16 AM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleslaveuk

i have been thinking recently about a certain incident which i will come to shortly but would like to ask the question if submission is always linked to a sexual need?


No - it is not always sexual.
 
~J

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to submaleslaveuk)
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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 6:20:31 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleslaveuk

i have been thinking recently about a certain incident which i will come to shortly but would like to ask the question if submission is always linked to a sexual need?



No. I like having my laundry done, house cleaned, dinner cooked, and beer brought to me. There are submissives out there that I would never have anything to do with sexualy. However, the lack of sexual interest never stoped me from slaping them around and putting them to good use.  

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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 6:22:31 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline 		Speaking from the submissive side:

No, it's not always sexual. Sometimes it's physical, sometimes mental, sometimes emotional.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 7:44:51 AM   
charismagirrl


Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		No it isn't always sexual but it seems as though you know what you want/need.

Although you can do submissive actions that aren't sexual, as a human being you still need the sexual aspects as well.

i do alot of things for my Daddy/Master that aren't sexual at all...cleaning, cooking etc. but if there was no sex involved in our relationship it wouldn't be enough for me. i enjoy serving him domestically but i also need to serve him and be used by him sexually....i don't get any sexual satisfaction from the domestic duties but it does warm my heart to know that i'm being a pleasing slave to him.


_____________________________

For today i won't say but...
For today i wont say just...
For today i will simply obey....
For today i will trust that You are right...
For always i will be your imperfect slave

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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 10:52:03 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Depends on the person. 

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to submaleslaveuk)
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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 10:57:14 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Here's yet another semantic question, because everyone's answers are going to depend on what they mean by "sexual," and different people have profoundly different understandings of that word.  And then the thread will just degenerate into a squabble over what sexuality really is.  "Of course submission is sexual, how could it not be?"  "Of course it's NOT, you brutish fool; obviously you've never experienced submission without sex.  I, as a more evolved organism, have done so."

Can't we stop asking questions that are really just gussied-up questions of definition?  It gets boring.

(in reply to submaleslaveuk)
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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 11:08:29 AM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleslaveuk

Hi All,

i have been thinking recently about a certain incident which i will come to shortly but would like to ask the question if submission is always linked to a sexual need?

i personally feel that there are some submissives who only submit for a sexual purpose, also on the flip side there are submissives out there who feels it is their sole purpose in life to please other people.

i have been thinking about this recently as i was approached by a lesbian Dominant who wondered if i was interested in a post as their houseboy. At first i was quite excited by the idea and i think if this had come up in 5-10 years time i will probably jump at the chance as i do get a huge amount of pleasure out of service and pleasing others. i realised soon though that i would get no sexual relief out of this arrangement and as i am relatively new to the scene feel i havent experienced anough to give up that YET!

i hope this comes across ok but just wondering how much submission and sexuality are linked.

Cheers

submaleslaveuk
darren



i personally could not be in D/s relationship without sex but what i am wondering is....in a situation like the one you mentioned, would you be able to pursue sexual interaction outside of that relationship...or are you just expected to remain 'sexless'?  i have heard of such domestic servitude in the past and just wonder what is the 'allowance' (if you will) for your sexual needs.  Just curious :)
 
Daddysgirl
 
 

(in reply to submaleslaveuk)
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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 11:28:04 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

submission always sexual?

It is for me.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 10/22/2006 11:29:06 AM >

(in reply to submaleslaveuk)
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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 11:38:43 AM   
subjected2006


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline 		No , it's not just sexual.
For myself it was at first..but on a deeper level it is submission for submissions sake...
So is the question , is it always sexual?
or did you mean "can it be always sexual for some?
Obviously  it can be.




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a rose is a rose..

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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 11:44:46 AM   
PrimitiveLogic


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Md.
Status: offline 		I feel that sex can divert the original intent of a budding relationship. Especially incredible sex.  It can take intimacy too far too fast without the broader foundation in place.  I wish it were different.

(in reply to subjected2006)
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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 11:44:53 AM   
WickedlyDevine


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/17/2006
Status: offline 		It varies far and wide depending upon the dom/tops needs and desires.  I intend at some pont in the future to take upon a slave of which I will train in the domestic ways and the way of proper and expected submission with no sexual acts involved.    I won't become excited by this, rather I shall consider it a challenge, and at points a chore, but well worth the results for helping this slave along their path.  From this we shall both grow.

(in reply to submaleslaveuk)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 6:22:10 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: submaleslaveuk

Hi All,

i have been thinking recently about a certain incident which i will come to shortly but would like to ask the question if submission is always linked to a sexual need?

For some, yes, for some, no.

quote:

i personally feel that there are some submissives who only submit for a sexual purpose, also on the flip side there are submissives out there who feels it is their sole purpose in life to please other people.

I'd agree. I know people who only have BDSM in the bedroom...I know Ms relationships that are with people of different sexual orientation (that aren't compatible).

quote:

i have been thinking about this recently as i was approached by a lesbian Dominant who wondered if i was interested in a post as their houseboy. At first i was quite excited by the idea and i think if this had come up in 5-10 years time i will probably jump at the chance as i do get a huge amount of pleasure out of service and pleasing others. i realised soon though that i would get no sexual relief out of this arrangement and as i am relatively new to the scene feel i havent experienced anough to give up that YET!


Well, how do you KNOW that you wouldn't get your needs met? Are you assuming that your sexual needs MUST be met by your Dominant? Is there the possibility that you could find a kinky sex partner, but still serve this women? If you feel connected to her and think that this might be a solution, ask her. This is how it works for me and my girl (she is het, I am bi). Of course, if you are needing to have all your needs met by your Dominant, the idea is not going to work!

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to submaleslaveuk)
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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 7:09:48 PM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with Master Fire - it simply depends on the persons involved in the BDSM relationship.  I am married to my Dom.  My submission to him is on all levels - mental, emotional and sexual.  That is the dynamic that works for us.  Of all those, the sexual submission is probably the least important to me, but it does have its place.  I see it as a sort of reinforcement of the other areas of my submission.  I don't know if that makes sense to others, but it's the best way I can describe it.

I am wondering, as the others are, if you can have a sexual partner who is kinky while serving this dominant.  That would seem to be a solution to the problem.

Best of luck to you!


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Property of Shadowraven
Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 7:24:34 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		You will find a few that will tell you that  true submission has nothing really to do with sex which is the opposite of your question. But, like everyone else has answered it is up to the individual. For me personally the two things are so tied together in me that I could not separate them.

I think it is nice that you realize what you need in a D/s relationship and do not try for just anything that too many people try to do and end up with bad experiences. The trick is finding the right person for you and  not let others dictate what you think.

(in reply to Caitriona)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 7:27:58 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		I get the impression you are searching for the whole package, but because from what I understand a male submissive finds it more difficult to find a good Dom/me
then you find at least some sort of submissive service appealing. Hold out for your dream..I hope it will come...Tempting

(in reply to Caitriona)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 7:39:50 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Submission does not have to be sexual.. my boy is my slave and is as of yet a virgin.  He serves as I see fit, but it is completely nonsexual. It will remain that way after I move down there as well, until such time as he is sure he is ready to lose his virginity.  I will not press him for it, since the sex does not impact his ability to be my perfect little pet.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: submission always sexual? - 10/22/2006 10:05:19 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		For me, it's a part, and a very big part.  My Master and I have been very sexual in our relationship since the beginning, before He explained what BDSM was to me.  So...  sexual submission is just a natural part of who I am with Him.  However, being sexually submissive (for us) doesn't mean that I am not allowed to be the one to pinch the booty and ask, "You wanna?" 

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/23/2006 4:38:38 AM   
andreaC


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira

Speaking from the submissive side:

No, it's not always sexual. Sometimes it's physical, sometimes mental, sometimes emotional.


Ditto

_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
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RE: submission always sexual? - 10/23/2006 4:42:57 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		I agree. Submission is NOT just sexual. It takes many emotions and many different levels.

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Profile   Post #: 20
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