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RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 8:51:38 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jthorne

Locking your apartment is a necessary demand, one that falls under basic safety and all of that. It has nothing to do with your being a sub. Just say "Master, you did not lock my apartment when you left and my things could have been stolen, could you please do that from now on?" No decent dom/me would see that as a bad thing. Locking the sub's apartment after leaving falls under taking care of the sub and is a right, not a privilege.

As for other things that do not fall under the "rights" category, I would recommend just saying "Master, may I ask that you consider something?" That way you're presenting something for his consideration, and that will probably make him muuuuch more likely to say "Of course, pet" when you've asked.


The comment that I underlined is one that is more appropriate for a child....I rather think my Master would more than irritated if I spoke to him as if he was a slightly errant 12 yr old. In fact I can't imagine making that comment at all to ANY adult.

agirl

(in reply to jthorne)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 8:58:31 AM   
jthorne


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		agirl, if spoken respectfully and not like a petulant child, I see nothing wrong with my statement and stand by it. It states the problem, why it's a problem, and asks that it not happen again. I find such matter-of-fact statements useful in business situations. YMMV.

One loses so much in online interaction...tone of voice is not portrayed at all.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:04:43 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Pointing out the consequences of leaving a door unlocked to a very mature male adult, in my opinion, is condescending, petulant or not. I might remind a child of that .....but I hardly think it needs explaining to an adult. I think it's faintly insulting, actually.

agirl

(in reply to jthorne)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:06:06 AM   
jthorne


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		We agree to disagree, then.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:07:45 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear ladychatterley, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Demands are often guised as 'boundaries' and 'deal breakers.'
 
That said, it is 'your' apartment and 'your' property at risk.  Just because they're a Master/Mistress; that does not entitle them to be reckless with your life and or possessions.  It is part of the duty and responsibilities that dominants undertake, when you hand over that control of such to them.
 
True, real property, e.g. tv sets, china and such; can be replaced however a home is somebody's 'safety' or 'nest'--having a home violated is no different than being physically robbed.  It also shakes the very foundation in the trust that you're safe when at home.
 
Entrusting a dominant, submissive--heavens--anybody, as to close and lock the place up when they're to be the last to leave; is most common and natural 'order of things.'  Even children know this as a must do in most homes these days.
 
If this is a must do, it is not manipulation but, a fact. 
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to ladychatterley)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:09:25 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Absolutely.........lol

(in reply to jthorne)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:10:55 AM   
jthorne


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Isn't it fun when two people can actually do that without getting into flames? Sometimes I have faith in the Internet after all

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:17:45 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jthorne

Isn't it fun when two people can actually do that without getting into flames? Sometimes I have faith in the Internet after all


Yes, actually, it is nice.

Actually, if anyone's likely to be leaving doors unlocked around here it's me.......grin.

Regards, agirl

*slaps self for blatant overuse of the word * actually**


< Message edited by agirl -- 10/23/2006 9:18:32 AM >

(in reply to jthorne)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:20:28 AM   
jthorne


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Oh, me too, but it's from spending some years in a fairly rural area with basically the same group of people. No one steals, and no one cares about stealing because if you take anything worth noting, someone else is gonna see it, know who it belongs to, and then you're SUNK. My roommate and I never locked our apartment door, and our friends just came right on in...we knew strangers were at the door because they rang the bell XD

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:27:47 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Same here.  I've never lived anywhere even faintly dodgy, though I could still get my bum bitten and be burgled one day. I only ever lock the car when I remember, too. .......though it's really a lot more to do with the fact that I'm awfully scatty. One day I'll come home to an empty house and the sprogs will say ...........* You really should have locked the house Mum, because our things got stolen* ......LOL

Regards, agirl

(in reply to jthorne)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:30:48 AM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

 ......*Guess what Master, you forgot to lock the door this morning*

......*Bugger! Did I?*.....

How convoluted do things have to be?

agirl





God bless you.

Points for style if he actually buggers you before getting around to replying.

(And then you're like all: "Please Master, thank you very much Master, but I actually meant the other back door.")



(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:34:28 AM   
jthorne


Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Noah, you win everything today. I have to go clean myself up now...laughed too hard.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:38:41 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		LOL........I can see me getting very confused somewhere along the line and saying * Please bugger me before you lock the door* ...or * Shall I lock the door before you bugger me?*.........

I'm leaving this thread now. Grin.

agirl

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:38:42 AM   
darksdesire


Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		i'm a slave, and submissive to Him always, and the problem of how to bring up upset feelings, needs, concerns is touchy as i never want to do so in a way that upsets the power dynamic.  My Master set up a journal for me which He reads daily, and in that journal i am given the freedom to say whatever i want, however i want to say it.  Its a place i can express my anger, disappointment, fears, etc....This has worked beautifully for us, because after He reads my journal, He brings up the issue and we discuss it, and resolve it.   We've done this for the past few years and it has been the best tool imaginable, for both of us. 

< Message edited by darksdesire -- 10/23/2006 9:39:28 AM >

(in reply to jthorne)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/23/2006 9:45:37 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		A demand would be, "go down to the jewlery store and get me that solid gold collar that has the big diamond in the center this little plastic one you bought from the $$ store is so not me."  
He's a human, people forget to do things and in a case like bringing it to his attention should not be difficult, just say   "Master when I came home from work the door was unlocked and that solid gold collar you bought me is now missing, did you take it or was it stolen along with the tv, dvd player and the computer, because I forgot to come home and lock the door after you left because it's the submissive thing to do."  My sarcastic/humourous side is showing.    
"Did you forget to lock the door?" would probably work.   I am sure that most would realize the negative consequences of leaving a door unlock and more than likely you'd get a response to this effect, "Sorry, I probably did."  
If he scolded you for making a 'demand' on him, he's some kind of god and not really human anyways, so you should
A. dump him and get someone with human qualities
or
B. consider yourself lucky to have a man that is not a mere mortal.  

(in reply to jthorne)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What if you need to make a demand? - 10/25/2006 3:13:13 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		This has got to be the craziest thread I've seen in awhile.  First of all, it's not "demanding" to want your damn door locked.  I'm sure he forgot.  Hell's bells woman...we ALL forget things.  I doubt very seriously that he left the damn door open on purpose.  If he did, you have more serious problems than how to bring this up to him.  As a couple of people here said, just tell him.  If his sensibilities are such the he gets offended because you remind him to lock the door...well, then, again, you have more serious problems.

Forget all that stuff you read or heard about being a slave and just be yourself.  Talk to him like you'd talk to anyone else.  I'm sure he'll say he's sorry and make an extra effort to remember next time.

(in reply to ladychatterley)
Profile   Post #: 36
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