Tell Me About Yourself (Full Version)

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eyesopened -> Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 3:34:38 AM)

Dear Sirs:
When a conversation, either online or on the phone starts out with the Dom asking me "So... Tell me about yourself."  i freeze.  The question is so vague and of course my sense of humor so twisted that my first thought is from the classic Steve Martin movie "The Jerk" and i want to say "i was born a poor black child....."

i have thought to actually write down a "script" of interesting things to say "about myself" and i've tried to recite certain things but it seems awkward and contrived. 

So my question is this:  What kinds of things does the prospective Dom want to know when He says "Tell me about yourself." ?  Do You want to know the basics (i would think by the phone call stage He'd know those) of where i live, my age, sex, location, what i do for a living, what my kinks are?  Is there some other way to recite "something about myself" without sounding like i'm doing an oral report for a class i'm taking?  Should i have some highlights of my life and my BDSM experiences prepared ahead of time?

Any thoughts or opinions will be appreciated.  Thank You.



jeffman1234 -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 3:42:09 AM)

Say "I was born a poor black child" If  he gets it you have a connection.



SweetCaleigh -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 3:59:32 AM)

i can totally understand where you are coming from with this situation.  i have learned after a while when the Dom asks that question, i then ask the question, "Is there anything specific You would like to know first.?"   Sometimes that helps get the communication going. 

i have also did kind of what you did, put somethings on paper and keep it in notebooks so you can refer to it quickly and give Him some more imput.  One other thing i did was write a story about yourself e.g. write about how you discovered how you learned that you were submissive, give a little background about your life, likes, dislikes, what you seek in a Dom/Master, the type of relationship you are looking for, as well as your hard and soft limits.  You don't have to write a bibliography, just sweet and simple.  Put this in a word document and save it.  When He starts asking these questions ask Him if you may give him something to read about yourself and many Doms will say yes. Just copy and paste the doc. into the collarme e-mail and send it off to Him.  i think this will start you on the right path for more discussion and a deeper understanding for Him to work with.

Hope it works out for you :)

sweet caleigh



Focus50 -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 4:13:54 AM)

Just tell them how much you respect a Dom who has the confidence to lead by word and deed.  You know, one who will tell you about *himself* first! 
 
Frankly, I don't have much respect at all for "doms" whose main strategy is to ask vague "fishing" questions and leave the sub to respond in detail.  Them *first*!
 
Focus.



agirl -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 4:31:39 AM)

I'd probably counter with.......* What do you want to know, specifically*, if you don't have a clue what type of information they're after.

agirl





Kalira -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 4:59:15 AM)

I tend to answer with the same kind of humor. I figure if they are going to ask such vague questions, then they deseeve vague answers :)

I have had a few though who actually liked the humor that I threw in and were able to give back just as much as I gave in that respect. If they don't see the humor in it, then I know right away that we would never get along.



vanillarella -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 6:00:38 AM)

I just answer ...female and with pulse...that usually does it.



MsKatHouston -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 6:05:20 AM)

This was just recently covered in the Mistress section:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_634519/tm.htm

It might help.  LA, sorry if I'm stepping on your toes with the link ;)



swtsouthernsub -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 8:24:23 AM)

When I first  was asked to tell about myself  I was witty humorous blatenly honest  and felt comfortable enough to share my lifes story with him.
But  frist   we got to know one  other  simple  everyday questions likes dislikes . lively hood  children pets , what type of relationship are we each seeking
He honestly wanted to know me not the submissive me but my vanilla side  we laughed and told jokes,
enjoyed just getting to know each others little quirks then he asked me a series  of questions  for me to think about and get back to him

That is what really drew me to him that he was confident enough to keep the conversation going was honestly interested in me the person

They needed to be very creative and articulate  the questions were

1) what are my best assests of being a sub?

2)what am I willing to do as a sub ?

3) What  in my life has heighten my experiences as a sub ?

4 ) what are my dislikes he would only use in punishment purposes  

which then I replied after alot of thought and consideration theses questions 

I must have done something right, for I've not scared him away yet
now he knows just about everything there is to know about me .




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 8:36:44 AM)

Kat- no stepping on toes, I'd love it if more people posted links!

Anyway, to a vague question like that I usually respond "Hmm, well I love chocolate milkshakes and spoiling my nephews.  What about you?" and go from there.

Asking a vague open-ended question isn't a sin, and can be a very good question to gauge someone's personality by.  So use it for yourself to gauge THEIR personality :)



thegirlincharge -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 8:52:56 AM)

I have responded with that Steve Martin quote before...he didn't get it...that was our first and last chat. Such a question seems to lack the creativity I need to remain intrigued.  



Noah -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 9:58:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Dear Sirs:
When a conversation, either online or on the phone starts out with the Dom asking me "So... Tell me about yourself."  i freeze.  The question is so vague and of course my sense of humor so twisted that my first thought is from the classic Steve Martin movie "The Jerk" and i want to say "i was born a poor black child....."
...

Any thoughts or opinions will be appreciated.  Thank You.



How about: "Well I think of myself as the kind of person who freezes when a conversation starts with such an open-ended question."

I'm more interested in what a person shows me than what she tells me. A forthright response to an open-ended question would seem to show forthrightness, or maybe evasiveness but time would tell.

I think open-ended questions can make for a much more interesting dance than a tit-for-tat volley of facts, and I try to enjoy each conversation for what it is rather than view them as time "spent" in search of data. If a person can't deal with an open-ended questions, scurries for cover in response or requires explicit instructions before replying then there is a very good chance that someone other than me will make a better conversational partner for her. On the other hand maybe she is just a bit nervous.

Again, time will tell.



RedSavageSlave -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 10:31:22 AM)

"Would love to.. can you give me a starting point?"

<modified to add>

One of my personal pet peeves is when a Dom will ask this when HE is the one approaching me..I find that highly annoying.. and my response to that is usually

" I dont interview for positions I havent applied for" ................<unless he has a reallly cute pic that is LOL>



Mercnbeth -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 10:51:15 AM)

quote:

What kinds of things does the prospective Dom want to know when He says "Tell me about yourself." ? 


Depends on your goal. If your intent to is meet and have a person to person relationship the same answer regardless of which side of the flogger.

"Okay sure. What time and where do you want to meet so we can learn about each other?"

Other than that, you really don't KNOW or find out anything you can rely upon as fact about the person on the other side of the keyboard. You can't even be confident they are even the gender they represent on-line.

BTW - If they insist on knowing your sexual practices, preferences, experiences desires, and fantasies; its safe to assume they are only using one hand to type and don't really want to your to tell anything about yourself.



Level -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 12:55:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Dear Sirs:
When a conversation, either online or on the phone starts out with the Dom asking me "So... Tell me about yourself."  i freeze.  The question is so vague and of course my sense of humor so twisted that my first thought is from the classic Steve Martin movie "The Jerk" and i want to say "i was born a poor black child....."

LOL eyesopened, I love that. [:D]

i have thought to actually write down a "script" of interesting things to say "about myself" and i've tried to recite certain things but it seems awkward and contrived. 

So my question is this:  What kinds of things does the prospective Dom want to know when He says "Tell me about yourself." ?  Do You want to know the basics (i would think by the phone call stage He'd know those) of where i live, my age, sex, location, what i do for a living, what my kinks are?  Is there some other way to recite "something about myself" without sounding like i'm doing an oral report for a class i'm taking?  Should i have some highlights of my life and my BDSM experiences prepared ahead of time?

Any thoughts or opinions will be appreciated.  Thank You.

The question is a dreaded one.... it would be nice to have more specific questions asked of you, but you takes what you gets, sometimes.




CrappyDom -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 1:06:35 PM)

I ask that question because what they choose to talk about and how they talk about it conveys a great deal of unconscious information.  Since my goal is to get inside a woman's head and use it for my playground, the more I know the more fun I am going to have.



MstrssPassion -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 1:27:25 PM)

When I ask questions I want honest replies. I do not want scripted replies. I feel scripted replies & the whole 20 questions game to be foolish song & dance, easily choreographed yet when you miss a step the whole routine falls apart.

I feel the same about these cut & pasted emails that are often sent out. My don't those things make a person feel special [:'(]

I have found that relaxed natural conversation is the best course. Not only what we talk about but what topics come up & when reveal a lot about a person.

So, if someone isn't able to be fresh & original then I will most likely not find continued or longterm interest.



littleone35 -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 2:25:02 PM)

I usually answer with i am the youngest of 5 childern have the usualy number of Parents and i go to college  what else would you like to know?  Then i just wing it from there.   It is nice it he tells me something about himself too.

Matt's littleone



Noah -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 2:47:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

One of my personal pet peeves is when a Dom will ask this when HE is the one approaching me..I find that highly annoying.. and my response to that is usually



So a dom you've never met or maybe even heard of should take control of the conversation and direct what information you are to share and when? It irks you if instead he gracefully indicates that he is interested to hear whatever you care to share about yourself, then shuts up and listens attentively?

That's one view I guess.

Does it just irk the shit out of you if he forgets to say "Kneel, bitch," too?

Just sayin' that there are more ways than one in which a person could choose to view this open question thing..



Kalira -> RE: Tell Me About Yourself (10/23/2006 2:53:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

When I ask questions I want honest replies. I do not want scripted replies. I feel scripted replies & the whole 20 questions game to be foolish song & dance, easily choreographed yet when you miss a step the whole routine falls apart.

I feel the same about these cut & pasted emails that are often sent out. My don't those things make a person feel special [:'(]

I have found that relaxed natural conversation is the best course. Not only what we talk about but what topics come up & when reveal a lot about a person.

So, if someone isn't able to be fresh & original then I will most likely not find continued or longterm interest.

Exactly. It really depends HOW someone asks me. I tend to be pretty lighthearted in regards to revealing information about myself, and will generally answer questions in the same way. I have had some, both online and in RL that have asked me the simple "tell me about yourself', and yet it was asked in such a way that it just rubbed me the wrong way. And then there have been others who have asked in such a way that it just keeps the flow of conversation going without me having to stop and think about what they are asking for.



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