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Marc2b -> RE: Tell me..... (10/24/2006 7:17:44 PM)
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Random thoughts in no particular order:
I have a strong need for external validation.
I despise people who think they are better than others yet consider myself wiser than most of the world's population (I despise myself for that).
I deeply regret never having married or having children. One good thing came out of that, though. I have, in recent years, become involved in my three nieces and two nephews lives (the two fathers in question both having abandoned them). When one of my nieces recently gave birth, my sister asked how it felt to be a great uncle to which my niece chimed in, "he's always been a great uncle." That really warmed my heart.
I am not handling the thought of growing old and dying well... no, not well at all.
In writing I may come across as easy going yet forceful but if you were to meet me in person you would find me quiet, almost introverted.
I love playing chess but I really suck at it.
It was, of all things, a line from a cartoon show, that brought back in startaling clairity a memory that I had surpressed for over thirty years - the fact that when I was six, I was sexually abused while at a summer camp. It explains a lot of the things that went wrong in my life. I try hard not to feel ill will toward anyone but... you sick perverted bastard, how the hell could you do that to a defensless six year old boy? I hope you burn in hell.
This is the first time I have ever told this to anybody.
It feels good to unload it.
I do have moments of contentment, and happiness, and even joy.
Thank you Amaidiamond for starting this thread.
I'm going to get off the computer now, pour myself a glass of wine and pet my cat while watching the movie "Miracle."
I am seriously considering not posting this.
Fuck it.
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