quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

What disheartens me about the lifestyle?

People who are not accepting of others.
People who get angry when their point of view is not considered "right" by EVERYONE.
People who have a hard time finding a dom, sub, slave, top, switch, sex partner, etc.. so choose to declare that that particular class of person "does not exist".
People who attack others in order to feel better about themselves.

Oh, and when I take 30 minutes to write a really long and well thought out response to a thread and it just gets ignored completely in favor of someones humorous quote. That makes me go.. "why bother?"

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you are thinking about leaving the lifestyle..what was the last straw?  What irritates you?  What defeats your spirit?
 
I TRY to leave it all, for various reasons, but find myself drawn back again and again...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

You know, "the lifestyle" isn't a thing.  It's another example of confusing words with reality.  "Lifestyle" is a word that we've come to use to separate ourselves from vanillas, but it doesn't refer to anything that really exists.  What really exists are human beings and the lives they lead.

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I read your posts all the time and I think you're pretty damn cool. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

You know, "the lifestyle" isn't a thing.  It's another example of confusing words with reality.  "Lifestyle" is a word that we've come to use to separate ourselves from vanillas, but it doesn't refer to anything that really exists.  What really exists are human beings and the lives they lead.

It was the most generic term  I could think of for WIITWD.  But then Swngers call with they do "Lifestyle" also.  Friggy diggy.. how about we call it Fantasy Camp?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you are thinking about leaving the lifestyle..what was the last straw?  What irritates you?  What defeats your spirit?
 
I TRY to leave it all, for various reasons, but find myself drawn back again and again...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

What irritates you? 

quote:

  I'm not objecting to the term, LotusSong.  I'm objecting to the way you treat that term as though it had a reality of its own, because it prevents you from getting to what really disheartens you.  There is nothing disheartening about "the lifestyle" because the lifestyle isn't a thing.  There may be disheartening things about certain people, about your inability to find what you need in this world, whatever--those are real things.  Focus on the real things, and leave the figments be; otherwise you won't ever find anything.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegrea

The blatant intolerance of people who do things differently, especially the insult and mockery of those of us who enjoy pure fantasy kinks, like Macrophilia (Giantess lovers), vampires, and interactive erotic writing (cyber play).

I cannot count how many times I have been insulted for enjoying the fantasy of having a tiny man of my own to play with, or how my lovers who enjoy this fantasy have had to live with being humiliated for it by a community who is supposed to be 'alternative', being told they are 'sick' because they fantasize about having huge women step on them, even foot fetishists telling them that, simply because their fantasies are different from their own, or can never be fulfilled in real life.

Very discouraging.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I'm not objecting to the term, LotusSong.  I'm objecting to the way you treat that term as though it had a reality of its own, because it prevents you from getting to what really disheartens you.  There is nothing disheartening about "the lifestyle" because the lifestyle isn't a thing.  There may be disheartening things about certain people, about your inability to find what you need in this world, whatever--those are real things.  Focus on the real things, and leave the figments be; otherwise you won't ever find anything.

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Unfortunatley though i feel that i have failed in some way. I feel i just keep making mistakes over and over. I feel that i just cant quite find what it is im looking for....
Im sick of having questions and no answers. I feel unable to post questions sometimes which are personal to me for the people out there who just attack you and judge you. 
 

You know what you are completely right - my situation is relationship related rather than in particular lifestyle related. However i would not be happy in any other kind of relationship so my choice to back off for a while / for good is lifestyle related in that.

Not to put too fine  point on the dilemma, and thus, Mine own gripe about this "lifestyle..." you hit the nail on the head, and didn't even realize it.

Having your eyes wide open and your willingness to grow/learn seems to have jaded many peoples opinions, and viewpoints. Thus judgement seems to be something a lot of "lifestylers" have time for.  Personally, I may not like something you do, but that doesn't mean I'm going to judge you or your actions, or even lack thereof. 


Now while I included this with a quote, I'm not speaking directly toward anyone... 

my own two cents on your dilemma, missturbation, is the lack of communication between you and your dominant type, based on what you have said thus far.  I, personally, would consider My submissive my best friend, as well as anything else.  And if there were things I wanted to talk about, but not to her, I have other friends, or at least people I can email with whom I trust in their opinions to know what they are talking about.




_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to missturbation)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

The only thing disheartening is that is is NOT DIFFERENT than any other  life venue (like that one better?)  The people are just as opinionated.. just as intolerant as any place else. 
But what it DOES offer is a place for people to justify their own  misogyny, prejudices and yes, sometimes even mental illnesses left untreated, under the guise of a "fetish"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

In other words, what disheartens you is that people in the lifestyle don't act the way you'd like them to.  (I'm doubtful that you're qualified to diagnose mental illness, but if you are, good for you.)

Don't you think you'll be disheartened wherever you go if that's your standard?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

If you are thinking about leaving the lifestyle..what was the last straw?  What irritates you?  What defeats your spirit?
 
I TRY to leave it all, for various reasons, but find myself drawn back again and again...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
If you are thinking about leaving the lifestyle..what was the last straw? What irritates you? What defeats your spirit?

I TRY to leave it all, for various reasons, but find myself drawn back again and again...

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

It's really easy to say you're leaving, just as it's really easy for me to yell, "I'm gonna go out this door and tell him exactly what I think of his idea!"  You get to where you have to open the door and live with the consequences, and suddenly something comes up.  Oh well, you can always leave tomorrow.

Or, you act on your impulse, and miss out on that sub you were waiting for all along.

You people fucking amaze me.