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sugarcoatedscamp -> RE: "Under My protection" (11/5/2006 9:56:34 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I do not understand protection collars over the internet. You cannot harm a submissive over the internet via email, you cannot force her to do anything with you.
I have a friend who spent some time under the protection of a trusted dominant friend and mentor of hers. She was feeling vulnerable and going through a period of what many refer to as "sub frenzy" - the desperate need to serve, sometimes regardless of the situation and whether or not it's a healthy one. In the past, these feelings had led her to make some really bad relationship choices, and she didn't want to fall into the same pattern again. She asked that he serve as her protector, much in the same way that, as someone earlier mentioned, early suitors were required to approach the parents before they approached their progeny. Her protector was someone she trusted to discuss her exchanges with someone she was talking to, and to see the signs of that person being a good or bad thing for her, based on cues that she might have caught in a less vulnerable time of her life, but felt unsure of herself in at that particular moment, because she was so focused on the NEED to serve.
(And my 2 cents... if I have to force them, they're not submitting. They're being forced to do something against their will. That gets really tiring, really fast.)
quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I would understand this at a play party of a dungeon in real life with a submissive that is owned by another dominant wanting a friend to watch out for her, or someone who wanted to go out to a club but did not feel comfortable without a protection collar. In these circumstances the submissive is face-to-face with a dominant, and the more aggressive sorts may back off if they believe a submissive is being escorted.
But over the internet it is just odd in my mind, but to each their own... I would not deal with it, and pass these sort of submissives by if I were a dominant... but that is just my opinion
I agree that over the internet these things get kind of strange. However, for many people "under protection" of a trusted dominant, their relationship to that dominant is very much real-time. It's quite possible that the protector in question just happens to also have an online account at the same site that his or her charge is a member of, for those very reasons (or because they're looking for someone, too.)
Just because you trust someone to put your best interest first doesn't mean they're the person you want to spend your life in service to. From a vanilla perspective, I trust quite a few people I wouldn't consider bedding.
quote:
ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
As far as the daughter thing, if I had a minor daughter I would be very much impressed by a young man if he asked for permission to court/date her and not find it creepy at all... but I tend to think in an old fashioned way.
Try thinking of a protector in the same way as you think of the parent of said minor daughter. She's in a position where she doesn't always trust her best judgment, and has been adult enough to recognize this, and to ask for the input of someone she trusts so that she won't make a hasty decision that she's likely to regret. In some ways, saying, "I don't trust myself enough to make this decision right now on my own, and I'd like the input of someone else who's been there and who wants what's best for me," is a VERY adult thing to do.
The OP asked, "If she gives him that authority, why not just let her submit to him and be done with it?"
It might be helpful to keep in mind that sometimes a dominant will train a submissive in a purely mentoring way, to prepare them for service to someone else. The protector might already have a submissive (or more) of their own, and taken on this charge as purely a learning experience, never intending to claim that submissive for him/herself.
Many people feel that when a dominant starts an exchange with a submissive, the submissive in question should be going out of their way to impress the dominant they're having the exchange with. In the same respect, we as dominants should be willing to take the added steps, when necessary, to prove ourselves trustworthy and responsible enough to take on the responsibility of another's life.
I, personally, have never had to jump through this particular set of hoops (yet), but if it happens, and if that girl turns out to be the one for me, then I can only imagine that it will be a wonderful sense of accomplishment and affirmation to have the approval of the one that she trusts enough to help guide her in good decision-making.
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