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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/4/2005 4:26:57 AM

chainedgirl

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What i want to know is, if she has such an issue with being called 'girl' on political grounds (i'm not a girl i'm a woman argument), then why does she feel its ok to call you or another 'girl'? That's what i'd like to know.

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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/4/2005 9:17:19 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedgirl

What i want to know is, if she has such an issue with being called 'girl' on political grounds (i'm not a girl i'm a woman argument), then why does she feel its ok to call you or another 'girl'? That's what i'd like to know.

bingo..and thus the inconsistency with the whole communication with her.
thank you chainedgirl for seeing what i saw in the very beginning.. and no one else quite saw it!! rather just thought (in their judgements) W/we were wrong in our kind respectful responses.
and thank god the whole issue is "dead."

you know it amazes me what people think they think they know about someone when all they are allowed do to is have information or are allowed to see into 1/4 of a keyhole of information about anything related to anything. what is that a .0001% of anyones actual life or thoughts or problem or issue?
*sigh
so when advice is asked about only .00001%, i guess it gives anyone the right to judge and give opinions about 100% of something they know nothing about?

ah yes, tis the way of puclic forums

expose .000001% and its taken as 100% of someones true identity

grinnig cause i hope i never do that!!
shy

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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/4/2005 10:03:17 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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There's always a few sides to these sorts of stories.

Why not just chalk it up to an annoying situation and move on?

Rudeness? Common online. Oh well, move on.
Pet names are symbols of social familiarity not to be used until one is socially familiar and has a good sense that it will be responded to positively
Pretending is also common online.

I'm not saying that we should give up the fight against rudeness, only that it's silly to call someone out in an online list over it. I have found the best approach is to either be a good example yourself and simply kill them with kindness, or take them quietly aside and ask if they realize the impact of their behavior.

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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/4/2005 10:26:23 AM

newflowers

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Joined: 5/23/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchNCgal

personally being called anything but Sir, or (while going out as a girl until such time i'm doing it permantely) Ma'am gets a seething retort that has made many a girl cry and i've chewed out managers for having disrespectful employees that make people go to a business that is more professional. Now that is on a professional level.

I see any name like honey, lilone, girl, sweetie, etc.... something that shows some kind of attachment or level of friendship and trust between me and the one saying it. Regardless of context.

i am in complete and total agreement .

OMG - this is a major pet peeve of mine - to be in a resturant or shopping and have the sales person/waitress/waiter (person being paid to give customer service) call me a pet name. How dare they! Beyond the fact that such behavior is unprofessional. i find it offensive as well regardless of the intent. i have been know to say something.

On the other hand, within the context of a close personal relationship, pet name are perfectly fine and i have no objection to them being used in public.

newflowers

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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/4/2005 10:52:06 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

OMG - this is a major pet peeve of mine - to be in a resturant or shopping and have the sales person/waitress/waiter (person being paid to give customer service) call me a pet name. How dare they!

I generally call people Sir or Ma'am because that is what I was taught to be respectful when I was growing up. I can say those words and mean them to be respectful or I can mean them to be absolutely condescending.

I had a gentleman come in to my job one day and I politely offered him a coffee. He said "why thank you...and you will call me Sir!". Well my first thought was to tell him exactly where I thought that he could stick his Sir, but on second thought I realized that I am very good at "Sir". Not to mention Sir only means what the person saying it intends it to mean and from that point forward in our interaction "Sir" really meant "You are a pompous ass". Why yes Sir...right away Sir....would you like some cream in that Sir?....maybe some sugar Sir?....is it fresh enough for you Sir?....hot enough Sir?... Well I can guarantee you that by the time he left he had heard more Sirs than he had ever bargained to hear.

On a personal level, I have to assess the intent of the person speaking to me. I don't feel a need to be called Ma'am by every service person out there, actually I prefer they don't as Ma'am makes me feel a bit odd. If they wish to call me honey or dear and I don't sense any condescention....well it is certainly more agreeable to me than many other names I have been called.

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~erin~

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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/5/2005 4:57:29 PM

numpty

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Joined: 3/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires

In her very first response, she told Master He was not sadistic enough for her.
In her second, she appressively postured and told Him to cut the BS cause she would not tolerate being called a "girl" or "lilone" for she was a grown woman with her won identity and she was a professional (i believe a psychologist), but she also told Him she was an escort.

This seems to be a growing fashion amongst a small minority of uncollared subs.

These women seem to think that, because they receive 150 messages a day from prospective Doms, that may be a better or lesser match to their needs, then EVERY message they receive deserves equal derision and contempt. Meanwhile they bleat on about their fruitless quest to "find THE ONE" and how difficult it is to find play mates and LT partners.

They also seem to think that, if they spit vitriol at ANY prospective Dom, then they will find THE ONE who has the strength to dominate them, since they are "difficult to handle". They seem to take REAL pride in the fact that they REALLY are bratty, childish, petulent, moody, needy, clingy and/or sullen. Attributes that many Doms do not prize and may not be willing to expend effort training out of a sub unless she has qualities he DOES prize.

I read BBS threads from some them often, boasting to each about how clever they have been in their put downs of prospective Doms and complaining about how lonely they are.

Personally; and it's only an opinion

, I believe that this behavious is displayed by women who feel they MIGHT want to be subs but lack the courage to take the plunge. The claim they are experienced because they have been looking for a very long time. However, I may be wrong.

Please don't misunderstand, I realise that some of the responses that single subs get may be VERY wide of the mark, and often OUTRAGEOUSLY rude, but would it be so very difficult to adopt a respectful tone and write a message such as the one I received a few days ago? It read:

"Dear Sir, thank You for Your message, i am grateful to be the subject of Your attention. Unfortunately i feel that i would not be a satisfactory sub for You because ..........."

she finished the sentence by explaining, subtly but firmly, that I was not what she was looking for.

I thanked her for her response, agreed and moved on in my quest. Simple really isn't it?

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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/6/2005 7:02:56 AM

oneTrueMaster4u

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Some sub/slaves may be disrespectful to bring out the true dominance or lack of it in the prospective Dom

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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/6/2005 7:36:53 AM

Sunriselady

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With no disrespect intended, when she responded the first time that Sir was not sadistic enough for her, I think you and Sir should have simple responded "thank you for your honesty" and moved on.

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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/7/2005 6:48:41 AM

slavedesires

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunriselady

With no disrespect intended, when she responded the first time that Sir was not sadistic enough for her, I think you and Sir should have simple responded "thank you for your honesty" and moved on.

lol...no disrespect taken. tis exactly what happened!! but it is she who pursued.

ah this story is so old, so hashed and so not worth people reading about anymore....in my opinion

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i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

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....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: calling a girl out ... your opinions? - 3/8/2005 3:54:30 AM

indydomme

Posts: 27
Joined: 1/16/2005
From: Columbus, IN
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quote:

1. how could she be so disrespectful in the way she communicated to Him (i read her reply, she was down right violently rude! IMHO)
2. how could she find "lilone" or "girl" so deplorable (when i find another Dom, who doesn't know me, calling me slut, bitch or servant more deplorable than just "girl" or "lilone")
3. also if, she was not really a submissive, but was looking for something other than what she has in personal ads, why call herself such ...
and i ended by saying "why pretend to be what you are not? This behaviour is very disrespectful to girls like me."
Was i out of place?
Do other girls find this disrepetful to who they are and another "posing" as a sub?

I'm going to have to agree with happy pervert. Again, my opinion may not matter as I am Dominant, but I spent several years under the misconception that I was submissive. Two things that are important here. I was just like her, if a dominant man started treating me like I was his, before I had given him that privilage (and yes, submissives have the right to choose to whom they are submissive, they are not walking about aimlessly waiting for someone to snatch them up and take them home. If they are, they've got bigger issues than I care to address here) I would very sternly remind him that he and I have no understanding and in conversation he will call me by my name and not make demands of me. I have no room for such behavior. THAT is disrespectful. I was NEVER, and let me say that again, N-E-V-E-R disrespectful to a dominant who was not disrespectful to me. I am a very kind and caring person, and expect no less in return. I was told by other submissives (many of which acted JUST like I did) that I was a disgrace to the name of submissive. Here's a tip, submissives are human beings too, women, who have thoughts and ideas. Submission to ONE dominant does no equate submission to ALL dominants. If I acted the same way to every single man who professed he was a dominant personality, how would MY master be able to claim he was my ONE master?

As a Dominant, I do not make demands on people unless there is an understanding between us. I treat submissives the way I wanted to be treated as a submissive. Some people call me soft, I think I'm smart. I foster the relationships that will last. It is very easy to tell who is real and who is not by how they treat you, dominant, or submissive, you just have to be discerning, careful, watchful, observant. I think the woman who was mentioned in the first post was not interested in cheap, fast, and easy, and perhaps that is what she perceived, whether it is true or not.

Point of that WHOLE rant? I would have reacted the same way, and in no way do I view it as disrespectful. I view it as establishing grounds.

Thanks,
Miss Erin

< Message edited by indydomme -- 3/8/2005 3:57:11 AM >

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