Is revenge sweet?

Is revenge sweet? (Full Version)

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SlaveAkasha -> Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 4:52:28 PM)
I would like to get some feedback from others who might have been in a similar sitation. Something pretty bad, well, really bad happened to me earlier this year. I don't really want to give detail about the act, but it caused a lot of horrible things in my life, that I am still to this day trying to work out. I hear some say that revenge is sweet, but since I have never gotten it, I am not sure. In this, I won't get hurt anymore, and no one will be hurt physically or anything. Part of me is sooooo tired of being treated bad, and wants to do this..the other part is torn and hates to hurt anyone ever. Heck, even when I found the nightie of the woman my fiance' was cheating with, I put it in something so she could have it back, rather than throwing it in the trash. I just wonder, have you ever had the chance to "get back" at someone? Did you take it? How did you feel after? Do you regret either doing it, or not doing it? Am I wrong for having these feelings, is this something I should just keep in my head, and not actually do..and just live with the satisfaction I could have, but didn't?? Ugh, I hate when what I write doesn't quite make sense, I hope it does to someone. Akasha

texancutie -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 4:57:26 PM)
Those feelings are very normal actually. But for every action there is a consequence. I think if you do seek revenge and it is harmful....you not only harm the person you seek revenge against, but also others. And one of those that you harm is yourself in the process. I think it is best to acknowledge those feelings, deal with them when one is able to, and then move on. But I understand how hard that is to do. I honestly do.

SlaveAkasha -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:01:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: texancutie Those feelings are very normal actually. But for every action there is a consequence. I think if you do seek revenge and it is harmful....you not only harm the person you seek revenge against, but also others. And one of those that you harm is yourself in the process. I think it is best to acknowledge those feelings, deal with them when one is able to, and then move on. But I understand how hard that is to do. I honestly do. You are right, I don't want to hurt anyone else, hell, I don't even want to hurt the person that hurt me..lol I think some things are better left in your head. I can then have the satisfaction of knowing, I could have, but I didn't.

LTRsubNW -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:01:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha I would like to get some feedback from others who might have been in a similar sitation. Something pretty bad, well, really bad happened to me earlier this year. I don't really want to give detail about the act, but it caused a lot of horrible things in my life, that I am still to this day trying to work out. By one of those weird twists of fate, I now have a chance to sort of get back at that person. (Don't...it'll bite you). I have never been one to hurt anyone on purpose, I have always turned the other cheek, and just walked away. (Walk). I hear some say that revenge is sweetm (it is... but only when handed to you) but since I have never gotten it, I am not sure (wait). In this, I won't get hurt anymore, and no one will be hurt physically or anything. Part of me is sooooo tired of being treated bad, and wants to do this..the other part is torn and hates to hurt anyone ever (listen to yourself...you're correct). Heck, even when I found the nightie of the woman my fiance' was cheating with, I put it in something so she could have it back, rather than throwing it in the trash. I just wonder, have you ever had the chance to "get back" at someone? (Yes) Did you take it? (No) How did you feel after? (Better) Do you regret either doing it, or not doing it? (No...because they know...and they know you know...and if they don't...they will and eventually they'll know you knew...and that you didn't...and they would have...and they know that too). Am I wrong for having these feelings (no...you're wrong for wanting to "pay someone" for it...you'll pay and they'll blame you...the best payback is living better), is this something I should just keep in my head (yes), and not actually do (see above)..and just live with the satisfaction I could have, but didn't?? (I believe you're starting to 'get it"). Ugh, I hate when what I write doesn't quite make sense, I hope it does to someone. (It does). Akasha

KatyLied -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:02:14 PM)
Another way of looking at this -- don't allow this person any more power in your life. By this I mean the power this person is exerting over you by the fact that you are considering revenge. It is difficult to walk away, but in the long run it may be better for you. Be pleased that you are able to take the high road.

stockingluvr54 -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:03:36 PM)
revenge can be good..... BUT....it has to be justified revenge. My Mom used to always say "two wrongs don't make a right" I told her "Yeah....but it makes it even!" She didn't have a reply to that one....lol Be real careful about if and when you do any "sweet revenge" cause karma is always in play....it has to be justified revenge....jmo

Kalira -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:03:47 PM)
quote: I just wonder, have you ever had the chance to "get back" at someone? Did you take it? How did you feel after? Do you regret either doing it, or not doing it? Am I wrong for having these feelings, is this something I should just keep in my head, and not actually do..and just live with the satisfaction I could have, but didn't?? Yes, I have had the chance No, I did not take it for the simple reason that doing so would have just caused more pain all around for EVERYONE. You should not just keep it in your head, talk to someone about it, get it in the open...let it out. be angry, scream, yell, hit something. But getting 'back' at the person will eventually make you feel worse.

JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:04:44 PM)
The best revenge is success[:D]

SlaveAkasha -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:05:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha I would like to get some feedback from others who might have been in a similar sitation. Something pretty bad, well, really bad happened to me earlier this year. I don't really want to give detail about the act, but it caused a lot of horrible things in my life, that I am still to this day trying to work out. By one of those weird twists of fate, I now have a chance to sort of get back at that person. (Don't...it'll bite you). I have never been one to hurt anyone on purpose, I have always turned the other cheek, and just walked away. (Walk). I hear some say that revenge is sweetm (it is... but only when handed to you) but since I have never gotten it, I am not sure (wait). In this, I won't get hurt anymore, and no one will be hurt physically or anything. Part of me is sooooo tired of being treated bad, and wants to do this..the other part is torn and hates to hurt anyone ever (listen to yourself...you're correct). Heck, even when I found the nightie of the woman my fiance' was cheating with, I put it in something so she could have it back, rather than throwing it in the trash. I just wonder, have you ever had the chance to "get back" at someone? (Yes) Did you take it? (No) How did you feel after? (Better) Do you regret either doing it, or not doing it? (No...because they know...and they know you know...and if they don't...they will and eventually they'll know you knew...and that you didn't...and they would have...and they know that too). Am I wrong for having these feelings (no...you're wrong for wanting to "pay someone" for it...you'll pay and they'll blame you...the best payback is living better), is this something I should just keep in my head (yes), and not actually do (see above)..and just live with the satisfaction I could have, but didn't?? (I believe you're starting to 'get it"). Ugh, I hate when what I write doesn't quite make sense, I hope it does to someone. (It does). Akasha It's funny when you write something out, how by the end of it, you already know the answer sometimes. That is what happened here, by the time I had it done, and then read it.. I already knew I wasn't going to do it..ugh! I would have just deleted the whole thing, but ppl had started responding. The best revenge I can have, is not getting any at all. Perhaps I will just let them know I could have, and I didn't, that will probably do all I need it to. Thanks, Akasha

diamonddreamlove -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:06:48 PM)
When i got a divorce i worked with some shall i call them ladies that thought they were hot shit. Their lives were golden while mine was struggling to pay bills and take care of my 2 yr old without help. They dilibertly made my life hell after all i was not divorced. Ha! I always thought i would like to get even and when i remarried my husband sent me flowers every two weeks just because he loved me and wanted them to know that i had support then. He also made sure i had one hell of a wonderful wedding and engagement ring. Made theirs look ummm trashy! However it was several years later that i had the opportunity to talk with one of them as her husband had found another girlfriend and had filed for divorce. Wow was the shoe on the other foot then. I had the opportunity and i .......bit my tongue and sympathised and offered help to her. Could not have answered the situation better because i survived and was not a bitter bitch ok bitch but not soo bitter. Anyway i think because of that i will not seek revenge ever again cause what goes around comes around and well she got hers. Still waiting on the other one but it will happen.

SlaveAkasha -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:10:11 PM)
I admit to me, it's justified. That doesn't make it okay for me to do it though. I know myself, and I would feel way more guilty for doing it, and then it would have power in my life again. It's time to take that power away from it. I know I could do it, but I won't. That makes me stronger than ever. [:)] Thank you all again, wonderful and thoughtful responses. Akasha

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:12:24 PM)
Revenge is overrated. All it does is prove to you and everyone else that you are in fact no better than the person who wronged you. I have an excellent oppertunity to get back at my exhusband. I will not take it, becasue I am a far bigger person than he is, and I do not want to put his poor girlfriend in the middle of something she had nothing to do with initially. If I wanted to ruin his new relaitonship, I culd easily plant the seeds of some serious doubt, becasue of the past he and I had, ad things that were said to me. I wont, and I feel slightly better for not ruining 2 peoples lives to make up for one wrong done to me. Tempting, yes, sweet, no. DV

corsetgirl -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:19:52 PM)
The only so-called revenge that I had was when I confronted my ex-dom with this sub at a public restaurant! I felt he had quickly replaced me with this person which made me feel very enraged and angry! I look back at that event and it was not a pretty sight and I caused a lot of unnecessary drama. In the end, when you set out to give revenge, this might make you feel good for a very short time but you can also feel embarrassed by your past behavior and actions! My verbal tirades definitely scared two people away and this poor sub was very calm and nice when she first met me.

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:29:36 PM)
I have had plenty of chances to get even....but I never have. If you wait longer enough, ...what comes around, goes around.

LTRsubNW -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:31:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JerseyKrissi72 The best revenge is success[:D] Indeed :)

LTRsubNW -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:33:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha Perhaps I will just let them know I could have, and I didn't, that will probably do all I need it to. (Say nothing...the message will have much more clarity).

Sinergy -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:45:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: texancutie Those feelings are very normal actually. But for every action there is a consequence. I think if you do seek revenge and it is harmful....you not only harm the person you seek revenge against, but also others. And one of those that you harm is yourself in the process. I think it is best to acknowledge those feelings, deal with them when one is able to, and then move on. But I understand how hard that is to do. I honestly do. I have to agree with texancutie. I have had the opportunity for several years to exact revenge on my ex-wife for whatever reason, because she has spent most of the last 10 years being Rush Limbaughed into a state of obtuse idiocy, and no longer uses her head for anything but a hat rack. She violated the divorce orders by filing state documents she was not supposed to without my signature. Revenge would be a simple thing, really. Go to the court, show them the divorce documents, ask them to do a search and pull up the state documents, go jeer at her as she picked up trash on the freeway. The reason I do not do this is because revenge, to me, is an attempt to maintain an emotional connection to somebody. I divorced her to sever the emotional connection, I dont want to rebuild a new one with her. So I walk away. I do not do this for her benefit. I do this for mine. Just me, etc. Sinergy

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:46:41 PM)
I have definatley thought about getting revenge but never have. I am a firm believer it what comes around goes around. I have seen it happen many times. Had a Master that was lying to me and cheating. I found out and dumped him. Turns out the sub he was cheating with was doing the same to him. He got hurt in the end. I am not the type that can hurt people. The best revenge is letting them see they didn't break you.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 5:53:38 PM)
By far, as I literaly just found out, is letting those that hurt you know you are happy without them. My exhusband should not have ASKED for a picture of Angel and I, but I sent him the cutest 2 we have. evil chuckle He is now on a tyrade about how he and I could have had something if I would have taken him back, and I am wasting myself with the "kid". Jealousy can be so ugly. DV

Termyn8or -> RE: Is revenge sweet? (10/25/2006 6:06:22 PM)
Akasha; Revenge to teach. Don't occupy your mind with anger, but do think it through. What would be the perfect revenge ? Someone stealing your boyfriend does not warrant death. Smashing your car does not warrant burning their house. You didn't give alot of detail, so this is general. Choose your revenge wisely. There are also three categories of revenge, legal, iffy and illegal. You decide your own risk level, but advice number one, DO NOT leap before you look. If what they did to you was illegal and you can get them really good legally that is the best scenario. If they can't be prosecuted for what they did to you, you are at a disadvantage. In the words of the Junkman, a Russian, orphaned immigrant who was pretty able to extract revenge, basically a nasty one "Revenge is a dish best served cold". This from a guy who ate his steaks even rarer than I do. In other words, the longer you wait, the better. "Remember me ?" Surprise ! Plus the more time that elapses, the less focus of any investigation will be aimed at you. That is if what they did is known......... Think it out very carefully, and remember, the best revenge is what makes it right, like if they stole from you steal from them, but in most cases this is not an option. Revenge for the sake of making yourself 'feel better' is not satisfying, take my word for it. Try to do something that costs them of course, but if you can do it so you benefit in some way, that's the best, as long as problems with the law are minimized. Think it through, very carefully. T

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