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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/25/2006 6:11:32 PM

WyrdRich

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Someone once told me that 'Time wounds all heels.' Let go of the anger you are carrying (much easier said than done) and let karma deal with him for you. It will be much better that way.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/25/2006 6:20:14 PM

Ava82

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My personal philosophy: "You hurt me. I could have hurt you back, but I didn't. Now, you owe me until you rectify the situation."

Some people, when they know they've messed up, just sort of wait with baited breath for revenge to come. And you can keep them waiting...and waiting....and waiting...

Really, though, karma does happen. And it is GREAT!

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/25/2006 6:25:06 PM

adommeforu

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My Gran would have said, "two wrongs.................." and "vengence is Mine saith the Lord" and I could never fault her.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/25/2006 7:01:20 PM

Lordandmaster

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"The best revenge is living well" is a cliche, but I've found that it's true. Revenge doesn't usually help because it forces you to fixate on the horrible thing that was done to you. So, if anything, plotting revenge just makes things worse. The only way to overcome an injustice that was done to you is to show that it does not control your life.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/25/2006 7:25:37 PM

Quivver

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Although I agree so much with Lordandmaster an incident that happened years ago is still a shadow that effects me no matter how hard I've tried to live and let live.
I fear I'm a patient bitch and if it's decades from now at some point, somewhere,
the opportunity will present itself .. .. and I will entertain myself and smile.
I share this only because it's only you who can choose how deep the wound is.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/25/2006 7:35:52 PM

juliaoceania

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I have had many opportunities to "get even" with people, I just am not a very vindictive person. Holding on to crap hurts me, not the other person, and I like me too much to hurt me.

There is a desire for justice when one feels wronged. I have felt the desire to know that Karma was real and hoped to see Karma take care of things....usually by the time I get to see it, well I am not emotionally involved enough to care anymore.

My mom's sayings concerning these things

It will all come out in the wash
Water finds its own level
We reap what we sew

I really believe that people who have screwed me over will end up screwing themselves over in the end... I do not have to do a thing to make that happen, it is just the way life seems to work

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/25/2006 7:57:18 PM

akisha

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I've found that usually revenge backfires. And if not a big blow up in your face kind of way, you end up feeling small and petty. Like you sank below your personal standards.

I can totally understand the "want and desire" to get back at someone that did something terrible but really, the only person that is upset and aggrivated is you. The other person is either living blissfully unaware or if they are aware they probably don't give a damn.

I believe in Karma. Being the better person and if not forgiving, atleast letting the other person cease to exisit with in your realm of day to day life is the best revenge you can have. You are living well and are happy inspite of what they did.

Just my thougth on it anyway.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 2:06:32 AM

Siona

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By not, you show you're the stronger/better person.

Judgement day is coming..they'll have to answer to their behavior.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 2:30:57 AM

meatcleaver

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As the saying goes 'Revenge is best served cold.'. Don't do anything in a hot headed mood, the chances are you'll regret it but wait until you are cold and calculated and you know you'll hit your target.

I had a really bad trick played on me a couple of years ago and I mean a really bad trick and I asked for an explanation and an apology. A simple apology would have had me walk away but she told me I was crazy. That put me in a hotheaded mood for months. I told her I will never forget what she did and I haven't. Every now and again I let her know I am still breathing and haven't forgot what she did and I've told her if it takes me ten years I will get even and I will. In the mean time she can stew on the fact I haven't forgot and that she will have something coming her way when I am ready and see the opportunity. Now I am in a cold mood about her and I can see several opportunities but I want to do something that hits home hard and publicly humiliates her so she never does anything similar to anyone else.

I can't work out people who don't apologize but then what she did to me was uncalled for and calculated so I guess she never had the intention of apologizing.

Actually I rarely think about her, it is on the odd occasion I do, I let her know I will serve her up with something delicious and let her worry about what while I get on with my life.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 10/26/2006 2:54:37 AM >

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 4:51:21 AM

NorthernGent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha

I would like to get some feedback from others who might have been in a similar sitation.

Something pretty bad, well, really bad happened to me earlier this year. I don't really want to give detail about the act, but it caused a lot of horrible things in my life, that I am still to this day trying to work out.

I hear some say that revenge is sweet, but since I have never gotten it, I am not sure.

My initial reaction is forget it, it's over, move on.

However, it depends on the severity of the act you mention.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 4:58:54 AM

NorthernGent

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In addition, harbouring a grudge is only going to gnaw away at you and I don't believe it will be a beneficial use of valuable time.

Again, it depends on the severity of the act. If someone has cheated on you then they're obviously not very classy but, as said, it's gone. You can't change it so why waste your valuable time trying to get even with someone lacking class? On the other side of the coin, if someone has hacked into your bank account and embezzled your life's savings then that warrants a course of action - police.

As said, without knowing the exact details it is impossible to offer a well thought out recommendation.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 5:09:46 AM

FangsNfeet

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If given the shot, would I take it?

First, is it legal? The sorry SOB the screwed me over couldn't be worth going to jail for.

Another thing to think about is how far do you want to stoop to the other persons level? Prank on Prank is fun and one thing but ruining there life physicaly, financialy, or even emotionaly can be another.

I always figure that what goes around comes around. As it turns out, after ten years, all the Jocks and Bullies at my H.S. class of 96 are fat and out of shape. I happen to be a lean 200 lbs 32 waist. If I show up at the reunion, nuff will be said.

Revenge is sweet. Or atleast spicy. Back in Economics Honors, we had a stock market competition. I won and was excempt from my Final Exam. While all the other students who all called me stupid had to take a test, I was eating a hot Angus Roast Beef sub that filled the room with a wonderfull aroma. The brainiacs wanted to pick on me so I found a way to strike back.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 5:14:58 AM

meatcleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha

I just wonder, have you ever had the chance to "get back" at someone? Did you take it? How did you feel after? Do you regret either doing it, or not doing it? Am I wrong for having these feelings, is this something I should just keep in my head, and not actually do..and just live with the satisfaction I could have, but didn't??

Ugh, I hate when what I write doesn't quite make sense, I hope it does to someone.

Akasha

What you have to remember, revenge won't turn back the clock nor will it make the person you want revenge on feel anyway better about you nor respect you more than they did and you will only confirm to them that what they did in the first place was justified.

Whatever you decide, you have to move on and not let it consume you. I let what this woman did consume me for quite awhile. Shit, I was even stupid enough to want her still despite what she did. For me deciding on revenge was what enabled me to let go because I knew if I took that course there would be no way back even though intellectually I knew there was no way back. What decided me to take revenge was because I heard through a friend of hers she was lying and rationalizing about what she did and she was telling this new guy how honest, ethical and full of integrity she was and how she couldn't trust me. That made it easy for me to mentally let go and decide on cold revenge.

And yes it is sweet, as long as you don't imagine anything good is going to come from it and you will enjoy the sheer wickedness of it. Learning what a mean, calculating, hypocritical moral coward this woman was made it very easy to decide on revenge.

I have a metaphorical voodoo doll I stick pins in now and again when something prompts me to think of her and it makes her jump and she knows the only way to stop it is to apologize but for her to apologize is an anatomotical impossibility but it is sweet to know she jumps every now and again.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 10/26/2006 5:16:49 AM >

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 7:56:48 AM

CrazyC

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Trust me....step back! Far back if you have to. Give yourself time to heal, and let them live thier lives. Karma will get them. :) i know this for a fact, and it does alot better job then i ever could with revenge.

Let's just say...he wasn't able to complete the act. ;) And when i came back to visit, i got to hear my name with a tone of revered fear. lol I didn't even do anything, but move out of town. Though the rumors i have heard have made me out to be amazing! :D

And yep...success is a great revenge...the ability to walk by later with your head held high and nonverbaly saying, " You can't have this. :P"

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 8:28:45 AM

ownedgirlie

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I believe revenge only truly hurts the person doing the revenge.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 9:32:55 AM

emdoub

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A voice of dissent here....

I'll agree that revenge often backfires - but not always.

There have been a few instances of people doing me harm, and giving me an opportunity to return the favor - and I have. On a few memorable occasions, very publicly.

Did it make me feel dishonorable to not turn the other cheek? Hardly - it was, generally, a pretty empowering experience. Has it made some folks nervous about me - more nervous than the facts warrant? Yup. Has it made folks I've never even talked with leery of crossing me? Yup. Do I mind living in a place where people avoid annoying me? Not at all.

My own rule of thumb on this is: If I saw someone else doing this, would it lessen my opinion of them? Once you have the answer to that, you know how you'll feel about yourself when you've taken that step, and from there, 'should I?' becomes an easy question to answer.

As an example: decades ago, when dancing at a club, some jerk got upset with me and my partner - before we showed up, he was "king" of the dance floor, but I was a professional, and he didn't like the competition. He acted on that jealousy by turning dance into a contact sport - kept bumping into me, running his partner into my partner, and like that. When I'd had enough, I waited for him crowd me again - and when he did, my foot came down pretty hard on his instep - he was probably limping for several days, and may have had a bone or two broken.

Surprising, and remarkably gratifying, was the applause that went through the club as he stood there with his jaw open. We heard later that he'd become famous at that club for just those tricks.

What you're talking about, SlaveAkasha, is doubtless much more significant in your and their life. It may well be that you'll be happier if you don't act on that urge for revenge. But it's possible that you'll feel better, and improve the world, by standing up for yourself and providing someone else with an educational experience.

It's your situation, and only you can know what will feel good for you. Maintain your own integrity, and you'll rarely go wrong.

Midnight Writer
an Old Testament, eye-for-an-eye kinda guy.

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 10:17:11 AM

stockingluvr54

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingluvr54

revenge can be good..... BUT....it has to be justified revenge.

My Mom used to always say "two wrongs don't make a right"
I told her "Yeah....but it makes it even!" She didn't have a reply to that one....lol

Be real careful about if and when you do any "sweet revenge" cause karma is always in play....it has to be justified revenge....jmo

After reading the other posts and realizing most were reffering to a "somebody done somebody wrong" type thing that might pertain to a relationship type situation? I thought I would restate what I consider "justified" revenge with a story. This will clear up what I consider justified revenge....that names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty...lol

Many moons ago I was a wild child living in a wild small town. We had a new cop move in from back east and he was an underpaid town cop on a power trip that was gonna clean up the wild little town of all the undesirables (me included)... Now this town has always been pretty wild but MOST of the cops we'd get would go with the flow and wouldn't bother you unless you really stepped out of line.....the way it should be! Anyways....this cop took a dislike to me and layed for me and popped me several times for BS things and finally got me a couple of months in the county slammer. Everyone in town hated the new cop and everyone knew he had to go. Well one night (about the time I got released...???) a few guys apparently shot up the cops house pretty good...??? This scared the cop from back east....lmao! Anyways....the cop with the powertrip mentality suddenly packed up his family and got a job in another small wild town about 30mi north. It was about 6mos later that he somehow got ran out of that town also!

Imo....that was justified. And it felt GOOOOOD! to see him get run out of town (not that I had anything to do with it)....he he he !!!

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 12:40:25 PM

SlaveAkasha

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Edited because.. this is something I need to decide for myself, and I know that no one can give me permission to do so... only I will have to live with myself either way.

Thank you all again for such wonderful advice, on such little information.

Akasha

< Message edited by SlaveAkasha -- 10/26/2006 1:02:51 PM >

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 1:44:42 PM

philosophy

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....the best revenge is living well........

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RE: Is revenge sweet? - 10/26/2006 1:46:39 PM

Lorelei115

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Thank you all for this thread... it couldn't have come at a better time for me, even though I didn't start it! I just found out that I've been the victim of a very cruel fake profile/game, and I have here in front of me the means to take revenge into my own hands... But no matter how sweet the revenge would be, its not worth going to jail for, and its not worth allowing this jackass to effect my life. I will simply wait for the collarme admins to remove the profile in their own time. But if they could hurry it up? That would be great.

I DO have to wonder how a profile posting such as that made it past the collarme administrators in the first place though?

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