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RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/26/2006 2:02:59 PM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

I try to respond at least once to every person who sends me a message. As more and more messages accumulate in my inbox, though, the ones most likely to get my attention are:

People who actually read my profile...and say something that indicates that they read my profile.

People who have attached a picture in which they look at least decent. They get extra points if the picture is actually on their profile, because I find people who are heavily closeted to be not very fun. I don't demand that everyone look like Gregory Peck and march in the Leather Pride Parade, but if you can't even show me a picture by email? It's a sign that you are basically dishonest at some level, or at best that you're simply not planning to make this part of your "real" life. Big turn off.

People who spell, punctuate, and create paragraphs correctly. I know it's a prejudice, but I prefer people who use English well, and if all your text is smeared together into one huge unreadable dump...I'm not going to strain my eyes trying to read it.

And...people who actually write something real and personal. Form letters or blitz campaigns, where a person has blatantly created a Memo To All Dommes and is sending it to every woman on the site...don't impress me. My generic, one-size-fits-all response to a generic, one-size-fits-all email? Is to ignore it.

I consider it spam.

--M

(in reply to MissBabydoll)

Post #: 21

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/26/2006 2:14:06 PM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

Well for me its very simple. My profile says exactly what I am looking for, and what it will take to get a response from me. If those directives aren't followed, I feel perfectly justified in not responding. I mean, it's not like I ask people to send me their birth certificates and DNA samples, ya know? And I'm actually pretty lenient on some of those directives, like if someone writes me and says "I don't feel comfortable emailing you a picture right away" I'm okay with that. At least it shows that they read my profile and are making the attempt to truly communicate!

Basically, like (almost) everyone else has said, write more than one line, and make sure your message is geared towards the things that she says in her profile. Make it clear that it is HER you are interested in, and why. After all, I feel that males have every right to be just as picky as females, and if I feel someone is emailing me simply because I am dominant and female, thats not a good reason for me to respond.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Morrigel)

Post #: 22

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/26/2006 5:35:44 PM

razzberries

Posts: 19
Joined: 10/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissBabydoll
This sort of post, plus the ones from arrogant right-wing maledoms, are what keep Me from participating more on these boards...

Of course, your tolerance threshold is yours to define, but I hope you will reconsider. There are plenty of fools on the expressway, but I won't let them stop me from driving.

Thank you to all the ladies who have kindly answered the original poster's question. Your helpfulness makes this forum worth visiting... and also a pleasure.

(in reply to MissBabydoll)

Post #: 23

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/26/2006 5:36:04 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen;

I had a slave contact me upon reading this thread but, hasn't posted on it, unless the chap has another alias.

That said, this chap was upset by my use of 'networking.' He went on with a lot of assumptions of what kind of networking I do; so I am here to clarify what type of networking I do and mean.

In networking with other dominants, I may have knowledge of a slave who is seeking. However, when asking around other dominants, I do not mention that there is a slave seeking, nor any conversation I had with a slave who contacted me. If I know of a dominant that might be a better 'fit'/'match' I advise the slave they 'may' wish to contact Dominant A, B or C. It is up to that slave to contact Dominant A, B or C.

Apparently this chap thinks, a dominant like me would spill the intimate and confidential information and such. I don't. Networking is a tool as to make/create connections. Unfortunately, I have to agree with the chap, that some dominants do go pass the boundary of private and or confidential conversations and such but, again--I am one who dislikes being included in the mass of misbehaviors by another class/group of individuals.

Another thing this chap doesn't know about me. I ask first, if it is ok to ask around as to find a better match. If I don't have permission, the matter is dead then and there. I will not make any inquiries. But, I am willing to help a slave if he asks me to seek out those I know who may be looking for a slave like them. But, it is with their permission and knowledge I do such.

Networking, is a tool in this lifestyle. I use it more for finding resources, such as clothing, events, supplies, people's input on conventions and or gatherings, as to know if it is worthwhile to attend or let it go, as it isn't addressing interests I have.

Gossip, as this chap seems to believe is what Dominant women call 'networking' is not networking--it is Gossip.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 24

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/26/2006 5:49:55 PM

sissifytoserve

Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

Heresay is crap.

If a submissive told me a certain domme is this-or-that, I wouldn't believe it untill I MYSELF actually at the very
minimum had a few conversations or a chat with her.

_____________________________

A great mind must be androgynous
Samuel Coleridge

The uniting of the feminine and the masculine is the highest form of human development Carl Jung

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 25

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/26/2006 5:51:40 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Which is all well and good. However, if you got a recommendation to contact a domme because someone thought you would be a good fit, would you not contact them to start that process?

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to sissifytoserve)

Post #: 26

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/26/2006 5:56:23 PM

sissifytoserve

Posts: 1016
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

Of course. I'd be a fool not to.

Good point.

< Message edited by sissifytoserve -- 10/26/2006 6:14:56 PM >

_____________________________

A great mind must be androgynous
Samuel Coleridge

The uniting of the feminine and the masculine is the highest form of human development Carl Jung

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 27

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/26/2006 10:53:31 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Which is all well and good. However, if you got a recommendation to contact a domme because someone thought you would be a good fit, would you not contact them to start that process?

Unfortunately, no one ever sends me such recommendations.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 28

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/26/2006 11:28:33 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tosubmit2u

I'd like to ask the dominant ladies, what type of letter on introduction from a sub would interest you to reply? I have been searching for a domme and have been writing to dommes in my local area where I introduce myself and what I feel I have to offer and ask if you would like to get to know each other better. I rarely get a response, even if to say, no not interested. Do most dominant women on this site get submerged with messages and just don't have the time or patience to respond to all of them. Or am I doing something wrong? Your advice would be most appreciated.

I didnt read any other responses so I may be repeating others.

Personally,I dont like a letter where the submissive says right off the bat what she/he has to offer,it sometimes comes across as bragging.
I also dont need a physical description or pic of a dick.

The ones I do like are the ones that say something like this:

I read(and you really did) Your profile and its seems like i have somethings in common with You(you actually do and arnt just saying it).
If You have the time perhaps You could contact me here.
Thank You for Your time,
Sincerely
bob or slave bob or obediant slave bob

Please dont end it with 'Your obedient slave'....your not My slave yet....

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to tosubmit2u)

Post #: 29

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/28/2006 6:56:52 AM

Mikal

Posts: 3673
Status: offline

I'll answer all messages (it's polite, even if the messages aren't), but I send out 2 types of responses - 1. to the dom who offers X/Y/Z slavery (X/Y/Z being listed as my hard limits & the fact that I don't sub to men in my profile) I send a "Thanks for the offer, but I think you have confused me with someone else. Please check my profile". 2. to everyone else, I send a "Thank you for messaging/inquiring/etc." and go from there. Some people wind up with short stories (I'm a chatterbox online), others get a few sentences... whatever I feel is appropriate. Mind you, I'm not looking for a sub... I'm just killing time and expanding my horizons

.

My bit of advice is to really read the prospective Domme's profile... see what SHE lists as a qualifying message (the actively looking ones seem to have specifics). If she doesn't state her requirements, send a message showing that you read her profile, why you're interested (and not just for sex/cyber/play), and what other requirements does she have? If she's rude enough not to respond, then she is likely a waste of your time anyway.

Just my 2 cents worth

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 30

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/28/2006 8:11:29 AM

MzTlaz

Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline

For me they better have read my profile, fit what I'm looking for and write an interesting letter with good spelling and grammar. I look to see if the person takes part in the message boards, the threads they choose to participate in and how they do so tells me a great deal about them.

When I'm not interested I try and write a polite reply but if the polite refusal isn't accepted and they write me again I tell them exactly why I was not interested, something they might not want to hear...lol! Funny, I quite often have to block them after that.

(in reply to Mikal)

Post #: 31

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/28/2006 8:34:47 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Since my other post was rudely taken away I will writie it again.

Chat on the boards. Show people how nice and good you are. Befriend people.

Do a search on my nic and do the complete opposite of what I write and you will win many friends over. Just get on the bandwagon and start flamming me ( there is another chatter who followed me in other threads to abuse me so speak to her first ). It will win you many friends..

(in reply to MzTlaz)

Post #: 32

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/28/2006 10:34:08 AM

silverthorn7

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/13/2005
From: New Mexico
Status: offline

Dear tosubmit2u;

Several things make me respond to an email. First, I look for a sense of who the person is, what they have to say about themselves and what they have to offer a Mistress. I like a polite introduction that is well-written and thoughtful. I never respond to sex talk or laundry lists of kinky sex things the sub would like me to provide for him/her. Location is a factor as is marital status. I don't deal with married subs - why would I? They have nothing to offer except a possible quick encounter on their terms. No thank you. I appreciate it if someone reads my profile first and actually has something interesting to say.

Silverthorn

(in reply to tosubmit2u)

Post #: 33

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/29/2006 5:29:01 PM

LadyAlexa

Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline

tosubmit2u.....
It would be interesting to have you post a letter that you would normally write to a Domme. Reading what you would write would allow me to respond to you ......and possibly others also...to tell you just what we would rather have you write.

Alexa

quote:

ORIGINAL: tosubmit2u

I'd like to ask the dominant ladies, what type of letter on introduction from a sub would interest you to reply? I have been searching for a domme and have been writing to dommes in my local area where I introduce myself and what I feel I have to offer and ask if you would like to get to know each other better. I rarely get a response, even if to say, no not interested. Do most dominant women on this site get submerged with messages and just don't have the time or patience to respond to all of them. Or am I doing something wrong? Your advice would be most appreciated.

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to tosubmit2u)

Post #: 34

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/30/2006 7:06:32 AM

jthorne

Posts: 99
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

What everyone else has said already, really. I appreciate people who read my profile and understand what I am looking for and what I am not looking for...and if they are NOT what I am looking for then they do not message or just indicate they'd like to have me as a friend.

In fact, the best way to establish real contact with me is to be my friend first instead of throwing yourself at me and telling me your kinks and what you want. A frank discussion of that is good, but if you offer yourself to me in your very first message rather than saying "Hi, I am this and this and we seem to be compatible, want to talk?", I'm much more inclined to hit delete.

Of COURSE, this second paragraph is JUST ME and in no way indicative of dommes as a whole.

(in reply to tosubmit2u)

Post #: 35

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/30/2006 9:12:49 AM

HalloweenWhite

Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tosubmit2u

I'd like to ask the dominant ladies, what type of letter on introduction from a sub would interest you to reply? I have been searching for a domme and have been writing to dommes in my local area where I introduce myself and what I feel I have to offer and ask if you would like to get to know each other better. I rarely get a response, even if to say, no not interested. Do most dominant women on this site get submerged with messages and just don't have the time or patience to respond to all of them. Or am I doing something wrong? Your advice would be most appreciated.

I'm not a Domme but I have a theory-they will reply if they like the message and the look of the sub sending it. That's it really. Not rocket science.

(in reply to tosubmit2u)

Post #: 36

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/30/2006 10:26:32 PM

Mikal

Posts: 3673
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HalloweenWhite
I'm not a Domme but I have a theory-they will reply if they like the message and the look of the sub sending it. That's it really. Not rocket science.

FINE! *stomps foot* Take the mystery and mystique out of how Dommes decide to reply... sheesh... some people's Doms.

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

Post #: 37

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 10/30/2006 10:46:09 PM

LadyOunce

Posts: 126
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

Read the profiles. I can not tell you the number of responses I cringe at for proving to me that they haven't read my profile. Also, there is a fine line between polite and overly familiar. Respect is one thing, making assumptions at your place in a dominant's life - such as calling her Mistress or my Mistress - is another.

I find that the ones that catch my eye are articulate, spell checked, thought out and provide me more insight than "I'm a submissive/slave". I get that from your basic profile, now I want to know more.

(in reply to tosubmit2u)

Post #: 38

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 11/1/2006 9:08:50 AM

WyckedIndulgence

Posts: 153
Joined: 8/17/2005
Status: offline

I'm sure we've all had our fill of time wasters. With few exceptions, I respond to all if with nothing more than a polite "thanks, but no...". Those who get no reply are those who are obviously seeking online games, are out of the country, can't take the time to say anything beyond "hello" and the few misogynists who have nothing to write but insults.

~ Mz P

_____________________________

Give it up boy... some days it's just not worth chewing through the restraints!

(in reply to tosubmit2u)

Post #: 39

RE: What makes dominant ladies decide to reply to a mes... - 11/1/2006 7:49:41 PM

Chellegame

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline

Thank you all (except urpunkwhatziz) for the perspective!
I'm going to spend a lot more time reading... even journals, which unfortunately I had no idea existed. lol
I have a little experience with the sort of email that is sent here, but I have been reacting so much, instead of thinking, that I missed the obvious.
I hated the letters that were reactions to my stupid picture, and nothing else. I hated questions that were insulting in their vulgarity, or indicated the writer hadn't even read to the second word in my little essay.
I *liked* the letters from people who were personnaly interesting, and could express that. Or who shared my interests, which meant.. oh, they 'read' my interests list...

Thanks for the wake-up call.
Smiles, Chelle

(in reply to MissBabydoll)

Post #: 40

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