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Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 3:46:02 AM   
houseslut


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/28/2005
Status: offline 		What do ladies prefer? Is it a total doormat that will do anything they say because they just want to be totally ruled or someone who will do anything they want because the sub wants to please the Mistress but still have a bit of backbone?

Surely there is not much fun in having a total doormat is there?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 6:23:52 AM   
spinntja


Posts: 31
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline 		> What do ladies prefer?

Personally, I prefer powerful partners; partners with skills and strength; partners on whose shoulders I can stand and into whose arms I can leap; partners who will not quiver when I lean on them. Nothing is more precious than when a person who is my equal or better hands me her power, of her own free will, and in full knowledge of what she is doing, on a plate.

For doormats I go to the garden store.

(in reply to houseslut)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 6:49:53 AM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Personally, I prefer powerful partners; partners with skills and strength; partners on whose shoulders I can stand and into whose arms I can leap; partners who will not quiver when I lean on them. Nothing is more precious than when a person who is my equal or better hands me her power, of her own free will, and in full knowledge of what she is doing, on a plate.


Very well said. I wouldn't change a thing (except replace "her" with "him or her").

I'd also like to comment on an only marginally related topic -

When I see someone proclaim "I'm not a doormat" I usually pass them by. That statement says to me that this individual still isn't settled in their submission, otherwise they wouldn't have to justify their philosophy. The idiocy that spews from alleged dominants insisting that the submissive must bow down just because they are submissive wouldn't bother them.

Why rise to the challenge of a fool?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to spinntja)
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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 7:49:24 AM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		{Surely there is not much fun in having a total doormat is there? }

Ya got that right.


quote:

Why rise to the challenge of a fool?


AMEN!

I prefer a male submissive/slave that comes from a place of character and strength. No doormats need apply. If I just want something to walk all over, I have pleanty of carpeting for that. Whats the point of having someone that's dead weight and useless serving you.

Rosa


(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 7:52:19 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

What do ladies prefer? Is it a total doormat that will do anything they say because they just want to be totally ruled or someone who will do anything they want because the sub wants to please the Mistress but still have a bit of backbone?

Surely there is not much fun in having a total doormat is there?


BDSM is very diverse. I (as in my opinion, I certainly don't speak for anyone but myself here[I'm attempting to cut down on the hate mail...]) prefer a submissive (notice I did not say slave) that has a mind, and a personality.

What does it do for me (in a power exchange situation) to have a doormat? I'm a Domme...a Kink Player with D/s qualities. Much of my interest in kink comes from Topping in scene, and having a bottom that has wants, needs, desires and limits. If the person I'm with wants to do what ever I want done to please me, they will show up at my door with a mind, a sense of humor, the ability to discuss the peloponisian war when needed and some ideas of their own and a little bit if fiestiness. Without these qualities, I might as well be flogging my closet door.

So this is what I want. It may not be what other Dominants are looking for. Hope you find this helpful.

Lily



_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to houseslut)
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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 9:33:31 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		These threads might interest you:

doormats

......treated like a doormat

not a doormat...



_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to houseslut)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 11:01:44 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

quote:

Personally, I prefer powerful partners; partners who will not quiver when I lean on them. Nothing is more precious than when a person who is my equal or better hands me her power, of her own free will, and in full knowledge of what she is doing, on a plate.


I'd also like to comment on an only marginally related topic -

When I see somene proclaim "I'm not a doormat" I usually pass them by. That statement says to me that this individual still isn't settled in their submission, otherwise they wouldn't have to justify their philosophy.

I loved Spinntja's response above, because it is exactly how I feel (only I don't know enough yet to make absolute (even for myself) assertions here.

...and I love Suz' statement above, because It has ALWAYS gone up my derriere the wrong way when someone writes/says "I'm not a doormat", rather than politely presenting an alternative view (if he disagrees), but I thought it was just me because I've little experience. M

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 11:11:36 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: houseslut
What do ladies prefer? Is it a total doormat that will do anything they say because they just want to be totally ruled or someone who will do anything they want because the sub wants to please the Mistress...

Your profile says you are a slave... Why would you have a problem with her treating you like a doormat if that's what floats her boat? Or is it because she is not exactly into "your" kind of slavery, that you would proclaim "I'm no doormat"? M

(in reply to houseslut)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 11:26:56 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz

quote:

Personally, I prefer powerful partners; partners with skills and strength; partners on whose shoulders I can stand and into whose arms I can leap; partners who will not quiver when I lean on them. Nothing is more precious than when a person who is my equal or better hands me her power, of her own free will, and in full knowledge of what she is doing, on a plate.


Very well said. I wouldn't change a thing (except replace "her" with "him or her").


Me to. Though I tend to have more sub boys then girls.

I would add (and I've posted this elsewhere so I'm repeating myself, I know) that a good sub boy is like a guard dog. He is stands proud, is impressive and intimidating somewhat to others, ensures my safety and comfort, is alert and ready for anything, is at my feet and obeying my every command.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz
I'd also like to comment on an only marginally related topic -

When I see someone proclaim "I'm not a doormat" I usually pass them by. That statement says to me that this individual still isn't settled in their submission, otherwise they wouldn't have to justify their philosophy. The idiocy that spews from alleged dominants insisting that the submissive must bow down just because they are submissive wouldn't bother them.

Why rise to the challenge of a fool?


So true. I recently was chatting with a submissive who greated me by my first name. I directed him to add Miss in front of it. He responded with "but I'm not your sub yet. Once I am, I'll call you Miss". I reminded him that there was nothing binding by the word Miss (it's not like I told him to call me Mistress) and that if he wanted to be invited to play in my arena, that he would have to put his best foot forward. All I did was ask him to respect a little bit of protocol. He responded "I am not a doormat!".

<insert sound of flushing toilet>

As you said so eloquantly MizSuz, "why rise to the challenge of a fool?"

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MizSuz)
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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 11:41:36 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		Welcome Back Angelika!.. I think I can safely speak for many is saying that we missed your posts.

Ms. Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 12:12:18 PM   
MiladyElaine


Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		It obviously varies. I think it's safe to say that not very many want an absolute doormat.
I would want complete obedience from My SLAVE though unless that slave can prove that I am loozing My mind and the request isn't safe!

_____________________________

A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 12:13:08 PM   
houseslut


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/28/2005
Status: offline 		I started this thread just to see what the popular opinion was it is not a reflection on me in any way!! I am just fascinated by alot of subs saying "I am a doormat do anything you want" and alot of doms saying that a doormat is no good just a bland thing that is of no use.

Fascinating

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 12:52:13 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: houseslut
I am just fascinated by alot of subs saying "I am a doormat do anything you want" and alot of doms saying that a doormat is no good


JMHO, but I think most of those subs are wrapped up in fantasy thinking and don't have a clue about how to relate to a real-life domme. The internet has made it too easy for the clueless to reach out and touch someone... without knowing a darned thing.

(in reply to houseslut)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 1:20:12 PM   
houseslut


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/28/2005
Status: offline 		good point, trying to be realistic is important

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 2:26:21 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: houseslut
good point, trying to be realistic is important


Getting educated is important. Take the time to learn a little bit - the web is a huge library open around the clock.

But yes, knowing the difference between fantasy and reality is a good idea.

(in reply to houseslut)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/29/2005 9:00:01 PM   
DiamondDiva


Posts: 266
Joined: 10/10/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

someone who will do anything they want because the sub wants to please the Mistress but still have a bit of backbone?


There is no greater pleasure to me than know that my sub is doing all they can to please me because that is what they "desire" to do. I have a tendacy to get bored very easy and I can tell you that a sub/slave that just does everything I tell them just for the sake of it will not last long with me. I do not like doormats in any aspect of my life.

_____________________________

~Diamond Diva~

" When someone is telling you who they are LET THEM!!!


(in reply to houseslut)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/30/2005 3:30:12 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

JMHO, but I think most of those subs are wrapped up in fantasy thinking and don't have a clue about how to relate to a real-life domme.


In my experience, this is also true of someone who has seen a Pro-Domme where he paid her to do all the things to him that he wanted and make it all feel like he had no free will.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/30/2005 3:31:49 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

Welcome Back Angelika!.. I think I can safely speak for many is saying that we missed your posts.

Ms. Eden


Thank you for the warm welcome back Eden. It is much appreciated :)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Doormat or Not? - 1/31/2005 4:16:07 PM   
SecretDomme


Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline 		I have no desire to have a "doormat", but don't want a sub who constantly challenges me either. I sometimes like a bit of resistance when I am getting ready to do something to my sub that I know he isn't really fond of, but will endure because he knows I enjoy it. I want a sub who wants to serve me because of his love of submission and the feeling he gets from it. When I know he is happy pleasing me, I enjoy what I do even more.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to houseslut)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Doormat or Not? - 2/1/2005 7:36:22 AM   
uponmyknees


Posts: 35
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline 		Rosa Please forgive me. I read your #4 posting or was that a posting to you? #4. May I ask what else there is?
I was trained and used as a maid and sex toy and ,every thing else. I washed, cleaned washed and cleaned and I was a Mistresses sex toy,with ALL her men. What is fun,to you? what else is there?
uponmyknees

(in reply to RosaB)
Profile   Post #: 20
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