terminology (Full Version)

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livinincincy -> terminology (10/27/2006 4:17:01 AM)

What are your definition of the following terms ?  I have listed mine to start a dialog.

Mistress- One that owns by contract a slave.
Domme- One that has a relationship with a submissive. 
Top- One that is not in a relationship and is dating in the scene.  O

Note: In a Poly lifestyle a Woman could be all (3) with three different submissives at the same time.

Slave- Owned property of a Mistress.  Life is controlled by the choices of the Mistress. Relationship is considered a LTR.

Submissive- Involved in a relationship with a Domme.  Has negotiated limits that govern the relationship.  Relationship is considered a LTR

Bottom- Unattached and dating in the scene.

Note- In a poly lifestyle a slave or sub could be loaned or given for use to another and their roll would be bottom to that person.

I view the titles as a Heiarchy of needs and progression of a relationship.





MstrssPassion -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 5:04:30 AM)

It is good that you have your own definitions worked out. This will make it much easier to communicate with others who have different understandings of each term you have listed & the many more that are not covered in this general list.

Might I suggest that you continue to work on your list because this will be very helpful as time goes.

I assure you that you will discover many, many diverse definitions from others that you communicate with personally or in a medium such as this. Also, never assume that everyone defines these terms in the same way that you do. That will inevitably lead to failed communication.

Welcome to the boards.

ps... as for my list
dominant (dom or domme), domina, Master, Mistress, M'lady, Sir, Syr, Ma'am...... etc. are all indicative of one being the dominant in their personal relationships whether it be a committed one or while single & dating. It is reflective of their mindset. In most cases it is a self appointed title but there are cases where people have reached a level in their growth & have been awarded community recognition. To understand this dynamic you'll just have to ask the individual how they achieved this. Same thing about sub/slave, it is a preference of term & either self-appointment.or by recognition of others.

Top & bottom: roles taken during a physical interaction & they don't imply anything more about one's personality.



Celeste43 -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 6:07:08 AM)

Top could just be someone who enjoys doing things to someone else but isn't into power exchange. You can be a married, monogamous top in a relationship where you have equal power yet in the bedroom you handle the toys and the bottom has the things done to them.

The other thing is that Mistress can be used as a title, "call me Mistress Suzanne", but nobody ever introduces themselves by saying "Call me Domme Suzanne".

Just to make sure you're thoroughly confused, like the rest of us!

Really, there are no clear cut definitions. Especially because you can look at two relationships and say that one is definitely M/s yet they call themselvesD/s but the one that looks less TPE could easily be the one where they call themselves M/s.



ToGiveDivine -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 7:49:57 AM)

I'd be happy if I could just be "clay" that the Female Artist could mold into something beautiful.

And no, I'm not holding my breath ... ;-)



livinincincy -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 9:22:38 AM)

I was informed that there is only one correct definition of the terms used by the D/s BDSM community.
So the textbook definitions are ?




MsKatHouston -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 11:58:56 AM)

You were informed incorrectly.  Check some of the threads on definitions and terminology recently posted.  People who have been in the scene for years and years still argue over "proper" definitions.  Get an idea of what the general consensus is but be open to the possibility that your definition may not be someone else's.



MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 1:01:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: livinincincy

I was informed that there is only one correct definition of the terms used by the D/s BDSM community.
So the textbook definitions are ?




Incorrect.  Just about everyone you talk to will have their own opinion.

I don't think whether one is "dominant" or not really has anything to do with relationship status. 

I know lots of happy tops and bottoms that are not into power exchange that are into relationships.

I know lots of people who are slaves at heart who are not currently in relationships.

Viva la difference.



Lordandmaster -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 1:33:35 PM)

It's called the Great Book of All Things.  It's been mentioned several times in the Collarme forums, and if you haven't read it, well, you'll just never be legit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: livinincincy

I was informed that there is only one correct definition of the terms used by the D/s BDSM community.
So the textbook definitions are ?



LaTigresse -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 1:39:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

It's called the Great Book of All Things.  It's been mentioned several times in the Collarme forums, and if you haven't read it, well, you'll just never be legit.

quote:

ORIGINAL: livinincincy

I was informed that there is only one correct definition of the terms used by the D/s BDSM community.
So the textbook definitions are ?



Okay, now I am mad!! I pay my dues faithfully every goddamned month, I bow to the north and chant every freaking morning........WHERE IS MY BOOK???? I mean, I thought.....well shit......don't all members get a copy?

The Great Book of All Things, being so very important, it should have a special alter with bullet proof glass around it, climate controlled, it's own special spotlight, I should have one!......what the hell is going on here?!?!?



Lordandmaster -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 1:42:23 PM)

Maybe you didn't include payment with your order?  Or did you forget the shipping & handling fee?



LaTigresse -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 1:44:38 PM)

Shipping and handling? They didn't mention shipping and handling.........big sigh.



Lordandmaster -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 1:46:17 PM)

I'll talk to them.  They're not always on the ball.



livinincincy -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 1:48:43 PM)

"So Kohi what are the Universal Definitions ?", asked sempi.



BitaTruble -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 1:54:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: livinincincy

I was informed that there is only one correct definition of the terms used by the D/s BDSM community.
So the textbook definitions are ?




Interesting.  I have a question.

"Slave- Owned property of a Mistress.  Life is controlled by the choices of the Mistress. Relationship is considered a LTR."

You said this is the definition of a slave and since there is only 'one' correct definition, I assume anyone who does not fit within this definition is not a slave.

If a slave is owned by a Mistress and there is only one definition of slave, what's someone who fits the exact same criteria, but owned by a Master called?

I mean will you accept:

"Slave- Owned property of a Master.  Life is controlled by the choices of the Master. Relationship is considered a LTR."

as a valid definition as well? If you answer yes, how do you equate that with there only being 'one' definition for these terms and if not, what would someone who is the owned property of a Master be called?

Celeste



BitaTruble -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 2:02:32 PM)

Think of terminology like a big, brand new coloring book. Each page has an outline on it, then you choose the crayons you want to use to color it in. Some of the pages, maybe you'll only use one crayon, some of them maybe you'll color in with a whole box of crayons. Some of the pages might not appeal to you, so you rip them out and they don't exist in your world.. or, you leave them in but ignore them. Sometimes, maybe you'll use chalk or water colors with which to paint. The outline is the same, but how you view it will depend on how you color it. Sometimes people will use the exact same colors as you.. and you will enjoy their pictures as much as your own.

You don't even have to stay inside the lines if you don't want to.

Just have fun coloring!

Celeste



Morrigel -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 2:45:56 PM)

Domme--a dominant female.  Her personal character and the role she enjoys in BDSM determines the use of the term, regardless of whether she is currently in a relationship.

Mistress- An honoriffic term, it is how most dommes are addressed in a scene or in a relationship by a submissive or slave.  Also generally one who owns a slave. 

Slave- Owned property, male or female.  High degree of power exchange with dominant partner, male or female.  Most "slave" relationships are 24/7, and many are denoted by the wearing of a collar, a piece of ceremonial jewelry or a tattoo.

Submissive- A person who enjoys the submissive role in BDSM.  The exact nature and details of the type of submission they practice is highly individual.

Top--A person who performs action on another.  Being dominant is not necessary, but heavily implied.  A dominant wielding a whip on a bound victim and a submissive giving a massage to a relaxed dominant are both technically performing actions, and thus "top", but people will only think of the whip-wielder, usually, when they use this word.

Bottom- A person who enjoys being on the receiving end of physical sensations.  Being "submissive" per se is not necessary, although heavily implied.  Technically, a person being massaged or receiving oral sex is the "bottom", because they are receiving sensation, but they may be dominant.  See above--most people will think of the bound victim when they use this word.

This is how I generally use the terms.

--M



Lordandmaster -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 3:28:43 PM)

Bita, I think we're supposed to look it up in the Webster's Encyclopedic Dictionary of the English Language.



BitaTruble -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 6:56:50 PM)

Oh great and I went and spent all this gold pressed latinum on a universal translator.

Damn Ferengi.

Celeste



livinincincy -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 7:05:14 PM)

Thank you all for your contributions.  I have been playing devils advocate to see what the Collarme.com community would reveal.

My hypothosis is that the definition might well be written on the back of the Lochness Monster or the Palm of Bigfoot.



Lordandmaster -> RE: terminology (10/27/2006 7:05:49 PM)

I was referring to this. 



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