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Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:09:15 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ok as true to form this is from another post. Vanilla Dominats verse Lifestyle Dominats. Is there a difference? They both preform the same function of controling their domain. Both are controling submissives.
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:13:13 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Ok as true to form this is from another post. Vanilla Dominats verse Lifestyle Dominats. Is there a difference? They both preform the same function of controling their domain. Both are controling submissives.

hmmm

dayum

I actually have to think about this one. I can not even come up with a good answer lol.

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(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:15:23 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		What is a vanilla dominant?  Can you give examples of what you mean, exactly?

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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:23:41 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Overbearing, an asshole, Pushy, Controlling whatever lable you want to use. Some vanillas run their household with an iron hand. For a family to function one member has to be the Dominant. Puts on my flame retardant suit.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:28:27 AM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline 		Basically the only requirement in being a ''vanilla dominant'' has is at being an asshole.

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Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:30:13 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Overbearing, an asshole, Pushy, Controlling whatever lable you want to use. Some vanillas run their household with an iron hand. For a family to function one member has to be the Dominant. Puts on my flame retardant suit.



well using that definition, i don't see how a "vanilla" Dominant differs from a lifestyle Dominant. to me, a Dom is a Dom is a Dom, whether they live a D/s life or any other lifestyle, they are who they are.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:32:22 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I see one as wearing normal clothes being dominant in what's going on in daily life and the other as wearing revealing black leather even if, or perhaps especially if, they don't have the figure for it and spending all their time posturing in public and not having any interests other than BDSM.

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:36:33 AM   
cris1


Posts: 10
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		why call someone vanilla just because they don't do the lifestyle 24/7?
All things in moderation and that includes the lifestyle. After all, most of us have other aspects of our lives that do not lend themselves well to the lifestyle, ie: you cant whip your boss or coworker if you're unhappy with them. You cant spank the waitress if she's rude. Vanilla is used as a negative term in the lifestyle, usually denoting boring or ordinary which is a slam on doms who dont live it 24/7 but can still be just as intense and creative when they are in the zone as a lifestyler could be.


P.S. i find the title given me "Vanilla" because i dont post to be offensive as well. i guess i had better get the lead out if i want to get rid of that silly title. funny how that worked.

< Message edited by cris1 -- 10/27/2006 6:38:49 AM >

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:47:04 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		A Dominant is a Dominant whether they embrace WIITWD or not. I think dominance is a part of what makes up a person wired that way as much as submissiveness is part of what makes a submissive. It's not the whole of who someone is, it is part of who someone is. I didn't find WIITWD until about 3 years ago and yet all my life the submissive part has been there inside me part of who I am. My Mom and stepdad aren't into WIITWD and yet it is very plain to see that he is dominant and she is submissive.

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Deviant Mind
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(in reply to cris1)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:47:28 AM   
SirLordTrainer


Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline 		This being an intriguing yet out of sorts type of thread I made My post somewhat out of humor. In this lifestyle we do seem to cling to labels and such and some for very good reasons. Noting your profile that you being new, you may in time see a vast difference

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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:48:23 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Vanilla is not a negative term. They have their own 24/7 lifestyle. We are talking about 2 different cultures here.

(in reply to cris1)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:54:25 AM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

They have their own 24/7 lifestyle. We are talking about 2 different cultures here.


I disagree. We may be talking about different lifestyle choices but I wouldn't go so far as to say different cultures.

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Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to Dnomyar)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 6:57:41 AM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline 		I was a Vanilla Dominant in my marriage, I ran the entire household, made every decision, etc.  and there was nothing sexual or kinky about it.  I consider that different than the kind of dominant woman I am now, in that I include my kinky sexuality in my domination.

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www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to SweetSarijane)
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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 7:15:26 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Does this make slaves "vanilla dominants" when they are in charge of the running of the house?  Or in charge of a company? 

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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 7:24:19 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirLordTrainer

Basically the only requirement in being a ''vanilla dominant'' has is at being an asshole.



I know a few vanilla Domiants and I agree,they're just ass-holes. Rude,sarcastic,hypocritical,aggressive,arrogant, oh yes, I forgot vain.

                                           HalloweenWhite.

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 7:30:44 AM   
MsVal


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/31/2004
Status: offline 		Vanilla dominant = head of household physically, emotionally & psychologically? I don't feel it has anything to do with BDSM, hence the 'vanilla'.

Ms Val

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 7:34:37 AM   
ExtremeOwnerIL


Posts: 197
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		Speaking of "positive" Dominants, I believe one is Dominant whether or not they choose to engage in alternative lifestyles, such as BDSM.

I don't believe overbearing, abusive individuals are Dominants, simply domineering, usually from a positon of weakness.

Regards,
EO

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 7:36:30 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Overbearing, an asshole, Pushy, Controlling whatever lable you want to use. Some vanillas run their household with an iron hand. For a family to function one member has to be the Dominant. Puts on my flame retardant suit.


With this said I believe your question could be answered if your opinion of what dominance was more accurate. Being an asshole has nothing to do with dominance regardless of one's walk in life, culture, lifestyle or anything.

Yet by your words of Vanilla Dominant" you mean one who is the decision maker at work or home & is not involved in kink, fetishes, bdsm, D/s, M/s etc.... there is a huge difference. Being a dominant within this "lifestyle" is more about your mindset & your outlook on your personal relationships with lovers & within social settings/groups. In the "vanilla world" to be in control of your work place environment, including other individuals is not like the interaction between a dominant & a submissive. In fact a large percentage of those who identify as submissive in this "lifestyle" are often the decision makers in their vanilla life.

We all have bosses, even if you own your business, you have someone to answer to. This doesn't make one submissive as in the sense of this "lifestyle".

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 10/27/2006 7:37:17 AM >

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MstrssPassion


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RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 8:24:43 AM   
Aeon


Posts: 199
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		i had to say a little something here...i have had an "online relationship" with a Vanilla guy for about 7 months now. We talk every day or every other day and have gotten to know each other very well.  Laughingly i refer to him amongst my friends as my "gardening project". He is most definitely and completely a natural Dominant in that He makes all the important decisions for his family, expects complete obediance and compliance with all requests, holds a high-powered corporate position, only shares the information He deems appropriate to share, is extremely sharp-minded and witty, etc. etc. However every time i have brought up the subject of D/s relationships or even just B&D he has a very strong reaction saying that he has no desire to hurt anyone. i remember giggling a bit at how vanilla people have such a strong S&M take on BDSM and assume that its all about administering and receiving pain. But to get back to the point...i think the difference between a Real Lifestyle Dom vs. vanilla Dom is self-awareness, knowledge of the lifestyle itself and the ability to control the ego and be completely honest.
Just a quick side note...regarding the OP...i don't think that the people dominated by Vanilla Doms can accurately be assigned the label of submissive as it usually boils down to one of two situations neither of which are actually desirable to those being dominated. Either they are an employee of the Dominant and simply must keep their job or they are oppressed family members who lack either the ability or will to leave the situation.

(in reply to ExtremeOwnerIL)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Vanilla/lifestyle Dominants - 10/27/2006 8:25:14 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		TY MstrssPassion. That was a great answer. We all have different way of putting things into words. Mine is probably a little more crude. But no matter how you say it someone will go off course with it.  

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 20
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