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RE: Love? - 10/29/2006 7:56:09 PM

DiurnalVampire

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I most definately love Angel. And he loves me as well. What the exact definition and eventual outcome of that will be, we have to wait and see. However, we knew how we felt about one another fairly shortly after meeting face to face the first time, and it has grown since.

DV

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RE: Love? - 10/30/2006 5:14:42 PM

subtill

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i'm dreaming of the Lady who i love. If i do love her,then in my and Her future its real only hers to say if i will be her real slave. If i can feel real love for her, she will only decided if i will be her slave. i would have much problems in my heart,if i dont feel love for a Lady who owned myself. I c'ant want anything, if i will be owned real in future,but first i have to feel love for her,then all be can hapened between me and HER over myself.

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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 7:56:19 AM

desoutter

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THE most amazing relationships I have had in my life... are with woman I love.
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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 8:03:52 AM

LaTigresse

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I would rather be alone than with someone I do not love.

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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 9:55:40 AM

BeingChewsie

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Using quick reply:

I love my owner very much. He is my everything. He cares for me deeply, it might be the way he would *love* a dog or child it is not the way he would *love* a mate or girlfriend that much I do know. He is certainly capable of feeling that kind of love for a woman. He has in the past and I know hopes to again in the future but it has been over 6 years that I have been here so I don't think that someone will be *me*. It isn't a power related issue, he isn't choosing to *not* love me to maintain control, he just doesn't feel those types of feelings for me. We have grown very close over the years, he finds me very attractive, funny, a joy to own but has never fallen wildly in love with me(believe me for years I prayed he would).

< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 10/31/2006 9:56:44 AM >

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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 12:38:12 PM

Wildfleurs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: onlythewindknows

Have You/would You/could You really love, perhaps (by however You might define it) be in love with a sub/slave or is there a level of control that would prevent it from happening or at least from it being revealed to her OR would that feeling blur the power exchange and perhaps even cause You to sever ties with her? Or would it make the whole thing stronger

My owner loves me and we've talked about how its changed the dynamic (he didn't always love me when we had this dynamic), and I'd say from his perspective I get more privileges than a non-love slave would get. From what he's said to me it doesn't translate into me getting away with more, but rather that I get more privileges and benefits.

C~

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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 1:25:56 PM

Archer

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taking the devils advocate ossition here because it's way under represented.

Love can get in the way, it does not make D/s or M/s impossible but it does provide tougher challange for a Dominant.
Lets face it it's easier to be slack with someone you love than it is t be strict with them in the short term.
Just as it's easier to not force a child to eat their vegitables and instead serve them Mac and cheese.
That is not to say that it pays off in the long run, nor is it ment to advocate being slack in discipline.

It is harder on the heart to punish someone you love but to be mature about it you go beyond the short term and do what is best for the long run rather than what is easiest. Someone mentioned the concept of Fear of withdrawl of loveas a factor that might contribute. I assure you it happens fequently enough that it gets discussed among Dominants when the trust of "what is said her stays here" discussions happen.
When they put aside the posturing and get real with themselves, What happens if I do this will she still love me? is a self doubt inner voice question that Dominants face. I don't think it serves the learning people here well to have only the final decided idea presented without the truth that we run into this same question ourselves at some point. And personally I'd rather tell the truth about facing the question and moving beyond it than only tell them the final answer we have come to.

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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 1:30:28 PM

KatyLied

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quote:

I get more privileges than a non-love slave would get.

Do you get as much challenge and opportunities for abuse? Some Doms have difficulty going to both of those places, as we've seen from some threads here. They fear loss of love, so are softer (less challenging) than they would be otherwise. I would think that in love, there would be more freedom to explore, but that isn't always the case and that's one of the things that make me wonder how much love can impact a D/s relationship in a negative way.

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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 1:41:24 PM

scarletkitten

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I guess being unowned myself for varying reasons, I desire that the one when he comes to claim me will in fact love me as I will give all I have to Him as well. I couldnt see a relationship flowering successfully if love does not exsist. This is just my simplfied opinion and in no means to be taken at face value, i just seek to find the one who will love and desire me to be his above anyone else. As I will feel complete at his knees in complete service, I would wish he would be complete having me in his service, and attending to his pleasure.

Thank you simply for letting me speak here.

< Message edited by scarletkitten -- 10/31/2006 1:42:07 PM >

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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 3:42:09 PM

Wildfleurs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Do you get as much challenge and opportunities for abuse? Some Doms have difficulty going to both of those places, as we've seen from some threads here. They fear loss of love, so are softer (less challenging) than they would be otherwise. I would think that in love, there would be more freedom to explore, but that isn't always the case and that's one of the things that make me wonder how much love can impact a D/s relationship in a negative way.

I'm curious what do you mean by abuse? Do you mean SM play? Or something else?

I'd say in terms of whether he's challenging in terms of the structure and holding me to rules, etc I believe he's stricter and definitely rather challenging.

I suspect the key is that while he loves me, he loves me as his slave, not as his woman/wife/girlfriend. When we were first together in an M/s structure, probably for the first year or so for me and probably for the first few years for him we didn't love each other so I think its pretty clear to both of us that we are committed to this structure even if we didn't love each other.

I also think what is key is that the dominant has to be more willing to let go of the relationship than the submissive is. If the dominant cares more about keeping the relationship and the submissive (as well as cares more about maintaining the dynamic than maintaining the love), than the submissives cares about those things I believe it can lead to imbalance. What also works for us is that being dominant and bossy is just the way he is and thats the way he is the most comfortable relating to me, so that if he had to restrain himself in that manner to keep me in love with him, then it would just lead to him being unhappy. Ultimately I believe that loving me allows him to feel completely comfortable and unrestrained in relating to me as my owner since thats how we both feel most comfortable relating to each other (although I think that last part would also hold true if he didn't love me).

Hopefully this makes sense,

C~

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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 3:48:44 PM

KatyLied

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Yes, it does make sense. When I talk about "abuse" I mean physical things, yes, and challenges in other areas as well, things that are unpleasant (however you may define that). I like the word you used, "unrestrained".

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RE: Love? - 10/31/2006 4:05:39 PM

Wildfleurs

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer
When they put aside the posturing and get real with themselves, What happens if I do this will she still love me? is a self doubt inner voice question that Dominants face. I don't think it serves the learning people here well to have only the final decided idea presented without the truth that we run into this same question ourselves at some point. And personally I'd rather tell the truth about facing the question and moving beyond it than only tell them the final answer we have come to.

I wouldn't disagree that its probably hard, but ultimately who's going to win out - the voice of doubt that makes you waver and do what the sub wants or the voice that wants to get something done/have the submissive do something?

C~

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"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

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The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
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RE: Love? - 11/1/2006 11:05:57 AM

medievalwench

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Master and i fell in love before our DS relationship began and still love eachother and are in love. i love Him as a friend and as a Master and lover. i feel very lucky to have a comprehensive life with him including friendship and vanilla public time. He is everythingi could wish for.

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