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too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 3:52:16 PM

wanta247

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Joined: 9/5/2006
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Just asking a general question, the women on her that are like 18-20 years of age that claim to be all that as a Domme, do you all think they actaully have what it takes, or are they just fooling themselves

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 3:59:51 PM

MsVictoriaPayne

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I started when I was 17 ... my high school sweetheart handed me some rope and a paddle... and my mind already had intense bondage thoughts. He was just a catalyst to turn it from fantasy to reality.

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 4:24:52 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear wanta247, Ladies and Gentlemen;

It would be helpful to establish if these 18-20 something females identifying as dominant are mature for their age. But, more important in my mind's eye--is what their 'intent' in being a dominant means to them.

Anybody can be dominant personality but, that doesn't mean they have dominant skills. Anybody can beat somebody up, control people and such but, until the lessons of life and life's experiences are learned as well.

Unfortunately, some young ones think BDSM and being dominant, is a free ticket in life and life is some fantasy or a money machine at the slave's or submissive's expense.

Personally, you need to ask the prospective dominant much deeper questions beyond the surface. Where are their minds, in making plans for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years and 50 years down the road. There is a difference of wishful thinking and reality.

Do they know body anatomy when it comes to men--I mean what is under the skin, what the phallus is constructed like, the dorsal vein and the chambers, the glands and such. Do they know the time that tissue starts dying when denied blood and circulation. Do they know their equipment--not just a 'leather thing or it is cute, etc.' Do they know the mental, emotional, spiritual dangers in dominating another as well as the physical?

Dig--and dig deep. You want any dominant to know what they're doing or get trained before you put the power in their hands.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to wanta247)

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 4:41:24 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wanta247

Just asking a general question, the women on her that are like 18-20 years of age that claim to be all that as a Domme, do you all think they actaully have what it takes, or are they just fooling themselves

Can anyone 18-20 "be all that"? 30-32? 56-58?

It's an attitude, an attempt to advert themselves, I mean, come on, if someone who says that they are in the dominant roles starts writing about how they are trying new things and just getting started, would you look at them twice? Sadly a lot of folks wouldn't and thus the bravado that new or young folks often show.

Of course I think we are all still learning and still growing and if someone isn't willing to admit that at least to himself, then they are fooling themselves too.

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 5:00:08 PM

Morrigel

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My first relationship at 18 was D/S. She was, as I recall, thoroughly and endlessly satisfied.

On the other hand, she was not that much older than me--less than 25 herself.

In general, I think people either have dominant tendencies or submissive tendencies from a very young age, and these may manifest at different times. As to whether someone can handle themselves well as a sexual being--it depends on the person. I will say, though, that one of the best, most confident and most competent dommes I have met in recent years was under 21 and an avid public player on the Vancouver BDSM scene. No, she didn't have anything like the charisma of an older woman, but she could certainly wield a flogger or a whip and truss a man up like a rodeo champ in no time flat.

They're growing up fast these days...

--M

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RE: too young? - 11/2/2006 5:09:14 PM

amayos

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wanta247

Just asking a general question: the women on here that are 18-20 years of age claiming to be all that as Dommes—do you all think they actaully have what it takes, or are they just fooling themselves?

Of course they can have what it takes—do not underestimate the young.

(in reply to wanta247)

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 5:11:40 PM

jdtallfem

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Well I was a ProDomme at 17, was studying anatomy for art at school and learned as I went along, often from the subs who taught me themselves. It was pretty primitive back then, but we didn't do really risky edgy play anyway, just lots of scenes and roles and fun. I certainly didn't profess to know everything and I certainly don't profess to know it all now, I still learn as I go along. I was respected then and I'm respected now so I suppose it's how you carry yourself, your being, and whethere you always continue to learn and grow.

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 6:19:41 PM

polyandry

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Yes, they could. Just like someone who is 30, 40, or 50 could be very inexperienced and THINK they can / want to Domme but they aren't any good.

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 7:29:39 PM

Lashra

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I was 19 years old when I started tying up my boyfriend at the time. Over the years I've learned alot and I suspect the younger Dom/me's here will as well. Time can be an excellent teacher.

~Lashra

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 7:56:03 PM

DiurnalVampire

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I was a Domme from 18. I was introduced into the world of BDSM by my mentor and good friend, and have never looked back. I might not have had as much of a clue back then as I do now. I did however, know that my love of the lifestyle was not about being able to inflict pain to mak someone else do what I wanted. It was about exerting the control my will could have over someone elses.

Some 18-20 year olds are or will be excellent Dommes. Others think that being dominant means getting sex on demand, smacking people around and thats it. The age isnt as important as the reasons behind, and the expectations of.

DV

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 8:11:03 PM

RayvenGoddess

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Just as vanillas know and start experimenting with sex in their teen years, we can do the same thing. I may be 22 years old, but I have had 7+ years of experience and education. Do the math; maybe not legal but then neither is vanilla teen sex between consenting teens. I even demonstrated a Domme behavior as a child no older than three, and I loved tying people up since I was 5. Just because we are young does not mean we are inexperienced idiots. Do not underestimate us, do not discriminate against us, and just give in to the idea that while yes some of us out there give us a bad name the majority of us want to be respected like any other dominant regardless of age.

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 8:30:32 PM

LadyOunce

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Age is just a number and if one has the maturity, the skills and the desire, then there is little they can't do.

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 8:42:55 PM

UtopianRanger

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wanta247

Just asking a general question, the women on her that are like 18-20 years of age that claim to be all that as a Domme, do you all think they actaully have what it takes, or are they just fooling themselves

Indecisiveness and lack of confidence in the context of decision making --- stemming from a lack of experience is the biggest hurdle for me with a younger woman below the age of thirty-three.

The ability to be decisive and follow through in a decision making capacity without a tremendous amount of consultation is huge turn on for me. That's not to say that all women under the age of thirty-three are incompetent in this context...just many I have dealt with.

- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 11/2/2006 8:44:02 PM >

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 10:10:59 PM

saskslave

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quote:

Just asking a general question, the women on her that are like 18-20 years of age that claim to be all that as a Domme, do you all think they actaully have what it takes, or are they just fooling themselves

I'm not sure about they are "all that" but yes, someone that age can be an excellent, if somewhat inexperienced, Domme. I know this from past experience.

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/2/2006 10:44:32 PM

Arpig

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Yup, they can.

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/3/2006 6:52:49 AM

Jasmyn

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quote:

The ability to be decisive and follow through in a decision making capacity without a tremendous amount of consultation is huge turn on for me.

To me decisiveness is the essence of domination.. you just made is sound incredibly sexy ... great now I'm turned on! lol ...

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/3/2006 7:19:51 AM

MisPandora

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quote:

ORIGINAL: polyandry

Yes, they could. Just like someone who is 30, 40, or 50 could be very inexperienced and THINK they can / want to Domme but they aren't any good.

Fantastic point!!!!!!!

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/3/2006 7:22:45 AM

MstrssPassion

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wanta247

Just asking a general question, the women on her that are like 18-20 years of age that claim to be all that as a Domme, do you all think they actaully have what it takes, or are they just fooling themselves

I often find questions within questions... why is it that you've singled out the the young dominant women & question if they have what it takes? What about the young dominant men or the young men & women who identify as submissive... do you or should we also question whether they have what it takes?

Personally I feel that everyone is constantly learning, refining & redefining their individual identity their entire life. Yet you can't say every 40 year old out there has utilized those additional years they have over the 20 year old with more exposure to any given experience.

There are many people who are brand new to this & 30, 40, 50+ yrs old. Do we credit them more simply because of their age? There are plenty of young adults under 25 who have been very active since they were 18-20 y/o... should their 5 or so yrs of actual experience be ignored since they are still young adults?

Information about this has been much easier to find over the last 10 yrs or so. There are more munches, parties, groups, etc popping up in towns that aren't the main hot spots of each state. Those who are under 25 have been able to grow up in an age of information exchange that those of us who are their seniors did not have.

So the long & short of it all... we may actually find 20 year olds who have a much more solid grasp on this than that of a 40 year old & we may find 20 year olds that still need Mommy to chew their food for them.... (& we may find the same in the 30, 40, 50+ year olds as well. I sure as hell know that I've had quite a few "mature" people come across as immature over the years.)

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/3/2006 7:26:04 AM

DianeB269

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I knew I was Dominant at 16 but, I didn't show it until I was almost 40.

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RE: too young to be a Domme - 11/3/2006 12:31:33 PM

MistressTheaZ

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(fast reply)

A lot of good points have already been made about what motivates the kinky, (regardless of identity), to pursue this path, and certainly there is nothing odd about someone motivated in this more sexually-enlightened age feeling free to pursue those feelings. While I'm not sure I agree with anyone, young or old, proclaiming to be 'all that', I'd presume that many who are new, (and also young), feel they must overcompensate with an extra measure of an attitude, knowing that others may have difficulty accepting them at face value due to their age and presumed level of (in) experience judging by their years on the planet. *g*

So could there be a kinky 20 year old Domme? Sure. I was, at that age. The only thing, beyond just years more of experiences and play, that the years really have brought was an increased depth and meaning to those feelings which were always there.

~Thea

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