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pixelslave -> RE: Guys still being Subs after they ejaculate (11/5/2006 11:16:56 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Morrigel
Personally, I've found it depends on the man. Some men get very gentle and needy when they're hard. Some men get increasingly dominant and aggressive as sexual excitement increases, and can relax and be much more accomodating after they've come.
Almost all the men I've worked with, however, do not have any kind of "instant shut-down" or frame shift after ejaculation--they stay highly charged and often work up to another erection/ejaculation fairly quickly if I continue playing. I tend to think that this sort of shutting-off-the-light-switch response happens a bit more often when there isn't much connection between the two people playing, even in the way of friendship or camaraderie.
As a man who is a sub, I think there are several factors at work that need to be considered and Morrigel had touched on at least a couple of them. First is that men naturally have a refractory period following an ejaculation. the length of which varies from man to man. It is something that Masters & Johnson have documented and can't be totally avoided regardless of what anyone does. That said, having a connection with a woman who wants to continue the play to keep some degree of arousal within me are two ways I know of that minimize the refractory period in me that help prevent me from totally succuming to it, and to maintain my interest in more than snuggling that definitely has the kind of positive effect for me that is sufficient to keep my energy levels up as well. There are particular activities that truly bring out the submissive side in me following having reached an orgasm that definitely keeps me there and will also quickly bring me back to a state of full arousal as well. Those require a definite connection in addition to an exclusive relationship where the use of condoms is not needed. [8D] [;)]
quote:
ORIGINAL: Lady Ounce
Swallowing down bile at the need to justify my lifestyle, especially against the likes of Freud, I admit that I've never had an issue with a lack of a submissive attitutde after ejaculation. Perhaps that is because I do practice chastity and denial so being allowed that release is another sign of their submission.
Lady Ounce had hit another thing I know of that keeps me VERY attentive. Being put into a chastity device without a release is what I speak of, although the OP was asking specifically about male subs following ejaculation.
I've never been put into a device following a release for longer term chastity, so can't exactly say how I'd react, but I suspect I'd react in a similar manner in the sense that I particularly enjoy being teased and also especially enjoy taking our time with a lot of extended foreplay. After having been denied for an extended period of time while in a device, I suspect I'd want to continue and would not quite be ready to stop when locked-up following an orgasm, thus being anxious to continue to submit to the desires of a Mistress that I served. I also suspect that being locked-up following an orgasm would be somewhat similar mentally for me to being locked-up without an orgasm; particularly in the sense of the control I feel that a Mistress has exerted over my sexuality with her having ownership of my manhood. For me, that makes me feel very submissive to her.
I also think perhaps at the root of some of the issues that the OP has posted to, is in regard to men focusing on the end goal of reaching an orgasm rather than enjoying the experience of simply being with their Mistress. To me it seems a loss not to enjoy each and every moment instead of keeping the focus on what will happen when you cum as you think about how good it will feel for the few seconds during which you reach your peak. To me, this means a person misses out on 99% of the enjoyment of the experience, which I think is a shame and a loss for both involved. It means your mind is not in the present and instead is thinking down the road. I'd rather be focusing on the feel of the sensations of the moment and how her body/mind as well as those of mine are responding to what is happening NOW. Should the time come when a release is imminent, then I will enjoy it and experience it for all that it is worth. Otherwise, I wish to stay in the moment and just take pleasure in the sharing that occurs.
I don't feel a man has to have an orgasm to have a wonderful time with a woman, just as many women feel the same about themselves. For me, the goal is not the orgasm, but instead is the sharing of the experience. If orgasms occur, then enjoy them for what they are, but there's no need to measure the experience by the intensity or the number of orgasms that happen on any particular occasion. After all, its not a competition! There are just too many other things involved that affect the ability of either one to reach a plateau to let the lack of reaching it diminish what was enjoyed.
I'll readily admit, that there's no doubt that there are times that indeed I crave to have the release, but I don't want to miss all that happens in between. It feels like I've shown disrespect and indeed ignored the attentions of the woman that I'm with, if my mind is not present with her all the time, enjoying what we're sharing and the gifts she has to offer and those I have to share with her as well. And, as is the case with some, I know I need to wait for her permission for me to release, so why not just enjoy? [8|]
- pixel
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