Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Presenting a Challenge ...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Presenting a Challenge ... Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 6:53:13 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I have seen more than a few profiles along the lines of "are you Dominant enough to tame me?" or "i'm wild and willful, it will take a very dominant woman to get me under control" ... (direct quotes from 2 of the more recently seen profiles)

What are other's thoughts on this?  I am withholding my opinion for the moment, but will post it later.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 7:03:10 PM   
ladylexington


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		I've always wondered what "taming" meant. Personally, I'm not interested in coaxing, manipulating, or forcing anyone to do anything.

Either subs want power exchange or they don't.


_____________________________

If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 7:08:17 PM   
kirkzhom


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		Forgive me for posting but the volume has slowed and this one rings true to me as a submissive.  I was that guy more than a year ago - though a bit more subtle that that.  IMO, that's a guy thinking with, forgive me, his balls.  "Mine are huge.  Fear them"  If I had to bet, the authors are either, in no particular order:  a) passive aggressive wanna be tops; b) pain sluts in very desparate need; or c) whack offs.  If You suspect that they are either a or c, i cannot imagine that You would go further.  If You suspect that b is accurate, i suppose it depends on Your sense of charity.  Me, I was shamefully a d) purported bottom really attempting to top.

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 7:27:36 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

I have seen more than a few profiles along the lines of "are you Dominant enough to tame me?" or "i'm wild and willful, it will take a very dominant woman to get me under control" ... (direct quotes from 2 of the more recently seen profiles)


Basically the dude is clearly advertising that he's a rotten submissive, high maintenance at best and a really annoying asshole at worst.  There's a difference between not being a doormat or an insta-sub to everything that walks by with tits and a whip, and being a bad sub who can't behave decently on his own accord if he isn't being constantly slapped down.  The former is worthy of respect.  The latter is just a waste of everybody's time including his own. 

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 7:36:11 PM   
damia


Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		i am glad for the opportunity to speak as someone who kinda -is- one of those you speak of, Ma'am. Kinda, because i'm not quite.

i love animal roleplay. i am a human Kat, and will take every chance i can get to be myself in this way. i feel very much connected with leopards, and consider myself to be such a wild Kat. Here are my reasons: 1) i love to be given the freedom to struggle against restraints and be wrestled to the ground and held down to be forced into restraints. It really puts me into my Kat mindset, and allows me to be the wild thing i really am; 2) i love to rebel, to get the punishment, and i want to be 'broken' to be gentle and loyal to the person who trains and tames me, but remain rebelliously wild with others; 3) as a wild Kat, i get to bite and scratch (as long as the other consents, of course), and while i get punished for doing such, it lets me do something i can't help but love (especially biting the skin right between the neck and shoulder...*purr*). Sure, i could get some of this and not be 'wild' and 'untamed' but it is the combination of it all that really gets my blood pumping. i am really turned on by someone who wants to break me, to turn me into the gentle kitty for them and them alone, but will allow me to be who i really am, a wild Kat who wants to be forced into submission (forced being what people see, though it is consensual). i hope this all makes sense, and i know that i am not exactly what You were talking about, and not all are like me.

damia the Kat >^-.-^<

(in reply to kirkzhom)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 7:39:48 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		*shrug*  If I want the taming fantasy, why not just play with another dominant?  Male or female, many doms have an occasional need for balance, to "see how the other half lives".  I've had quite a few come to me when they want to explore their submissive side.  And oooh, the big bad doms writhe and curse and fight soooo sexily when they can't get loose!  I can almost imagine I'm the Pirate Queen with an enemy captive in my sex-ay boudoir... 

--M 

< Message edited by Morrigel -- 11/5/2006 7:40:29 PM >

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 7:56:10 PM   
AlexAussieSub


Posts: 70
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline 		I didn't write this in my profile, but I definitely feel that way. Unfortunately most girls just haven't got the personality to inspire submission. Would wanting to get tied up by the random chick from the juice bar be a plus anyway (insta-subs as Najakcharmer called them)?

I haven't read the profiles, but perhaps these guys are just a bit jaded. They could have been seeing gothic girls who were really vanilla but called themselves Dommes to sound cool (I'm not saying all goths are like this but) and didn't want to waste any more time with the likes of them.

But then again anything's possible, these guys could just as easily be what some other people here seem to be thinking.

Maybe these guys will post here clarifying it?

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 8:14:36 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Many times, boys posting things of that nature are inexperienced.  They seem to think that we get some sort of power trip from breaking a man.  If they present themselves as being strong, they think we will find it aluring and want to tame them, becasue it would prove how powerful we really are.
Personally, I think its bunk.  If you need taming and you are already teling me that you are going to be disobedient until I beat it out of you, then I am not going to be interested.  It de snot make me more of a "real Domme" to break boys with attitude problems than it does to control someone like Angel who craves being controlled. Rebellious subs arent always fun, and most of the time they ar emore trouble than they are worth, so if someone starts off with tat in a profle or as an introduction, I dont bother.  Not my cup of tea

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to AlexAussieSub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 8:19:42 PM   
LadyKmtl


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		I like a sub who can be a little rambunctious but, when I see those words on a profile, I tend to go to the next one cause to me, those seem like code for "I just want sex! and this seems like something that would attract a woman who's more dominant."

My 2 cents!

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 8:25:03 PM   
Elorin


Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I've always found this kind of person ends up being someone with very little experience, and frequently they are someone who equates S&M play with punishment. If I'm wild and bad, then you will punish me, i.e. I have to be wild and need to be "tamed" or we will never play.

My response is...I don't have the energy to work with this. I like intelligence and sassiness, I love wit and humor, and I don't mind knocking someone down a few notches when they get too big for their britches.

But I have way too much going on in my life to have to constantly fight my sub for control. I'm willing to be in control at appropriate times, and maintain consensual power exchange and control. I'm NOT willing to constantly have a power struggle.

~Ms. Elorin

(in reply to LadyKmtl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/5/2006 8:41:25 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		To the Dommes who posted - Holly and I feel the same way.  We don't want a doormat who lays down so that anyone can walk on him ... but to us, having someone fighting our every command totally defeats the purpose.

To Damia - true punishment should not be enjoyed, and I think you will find that I'm not the only Dominant who feels that way.  You are much more likely to get the play that you want (i.e. 'mock punishment' scenes) if you are well behaved.  This does not rule out being allowed to bite and scratch, however, as I know more than a few Dominants who are also masochists (at times, at least). 

To me, someone who has in their profile that they "have" to be "tamed" ... that says to me that they aren't really submissive.  I do understand that not every Dominant will inspire submission in every submissive (which is a good thing, IMO), but to come out at the start with that kind of egotistical attitude is kind of counter-productive.  We want someone who wants to serve, not a bottom/masochist who thinks that submission equals being beaten each day - and that kind of profile sends off that message.  We don't have the time or energy for someone like that. I don't know of many who do.  We want someone who is willing to get to know us and decide if we inspire submission in him or not - not someone who automatically challenges our Dominance. 

(in reply to Elorin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/6/2006 5:15:23 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

I have seen more than a few profiles along the lines of "are you Dominant enough to tame me?" or "i'm wild and willful, it will take a very dominant woman to get me under control" ... (direct quotes from 2 of the more recently seen profiles)

What are other's thoughts on this?  I am withholding my opinion for the moment, but will post it later.


Please excuse the crudeness and foul language in this post :  When I see a guys profile like that, ten outa ten times he's a stupid, dorky, wimpy mother fucker.



JMHO



 - R


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/6/2006 6:20:13 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

I have seen more than a few profiles along the lines of "are you Dominant enough to tame me?" or "i'm wild and willful, it will take a very dominant woman to get me under control" ... (direct quotes from 2 of the more recently seen profiles)

What are other's thoughts on this? I am withholding my opinion for the moment, but will post it later.


*Yawn*

I do BDSM to relax and enjoy myself -- I don't consider that sort of person to be beneficial to any of those goals.

And any relationship is all ready challenging.

I think someone who posts things like that is someone who is unsure of their desires and feels the need to be "forced" so they don't feel guilty. I say if you feel guilty about doing something then you shouldn't be doing it. Wait until you are confident enough and self-aware enough to try BDSM.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/6/2006 6:41:10 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		oh goodie that sounds fun *sarcastic eye roll*...i had a "bucking bronco" once, and ill never do it again.
 
taming real wild horses give you this sence of making a connection with a wild thing, earning thier trust, and making a life long friend...but taming a man who is wild is a. exhausting, b. irritating and c. you become the sub, he has all the power.
 
whoo hoo sign me up for that please....

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/6/2006 7:29:51 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I've never had a sub like this but I truly believe that they are just inexprienced boys who want a Domme who is going to punish them for being *naughty*. They don't seem to really want to serve anything other then their own fantasy of a leather clad whip wielding Domme who is going to beat them into deep subspace and then throw the boy down and "take" him savagely, oh and repeatedly. Gotta have repeatedly in there or the fantasy just doesn't work for some reason. These guys are better off going to see a Pro I think. That way they can get off and not take up the time of a Domme who is looking for a sub for a r/t relationship.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/6/2006 8:19:23 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Some people get off wildly on wrestling and take down scenes. If you don't, then you aren't compatible. Wish him good luck and keep on looking. The fact that he's into something you aren't doesn't make either of you necessarily wrong, just incompatible.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/6/2006 10:18:03 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		*yawns*

I don't buy into breaking, taming or fighting someone for their submission.  If they don't care to give it freely and willingly, I really don't have much use for it.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/6/2006 10:52:17 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Some people get off wildly on wrestling and take down scenes. If you don't, then you aren't compatible. Wish him good luck and keep on looking. The fact that he's into something you aren't doesn't make either of you necessarily wrong, just incompatible.


There is a huge difference between doing it for a scene or two and doing it all the time.  The profiles that I have seen have a strong implication that this kind of behavior (wrestling, taking down, forcing) would be required on a daily basis to earn the submission of the boy writing the profile. 

I would rather earn the boy's submission through compatablility and mutual respect and care.  If I have to re-earn that submission daily, or even weekly, it would be a waste of time on all sides.  I would feel used (for that leather wearing, whip weilding fantasy that they seem to have), and I would be miserable.  As TammyJo said, I do this for fun and relaxation - that kind of relationship is not relaxing or fun, and would probably quickly degenerate into being abusive.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/6/2006 11:23:55 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		I am with all the other Ladies here.
I am not up for a power struggle.  I want a power exchange, and the boy better be ready and happy to participate in that with Me.  Otherwise I am just exhausted, and what did that get Me?
What's worse is the boys who present a different demeanor until it comes down to rubber hitting the road.  Suddenly they aren't so submissive.
Makes Me tired.  I don't need or want that drama.  The idea here is that My life will be made easier and happier...not that I am constantly struggling just to get a straight answer or force a boy into obedience on the most reasonable things.  I am supposed to be in charge, right? 
Not a doormat, but not a passive-agressive, either.  There is alot of that going around.  Boys keep forgetting it's all in the attitude and the way things are presented.
*Sigh* Sorry, frustrating day here.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Presenting a Challenge ... - 11/6/2006 12:03:35 PM   
jdtallfem


Posts: 180
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		Saw that type as a ProDomme years ago pretty often, usually they submitted pretty easily, but sure wouldn't want to tackle it as a lifestyle Domme. Why should I, when there are gracious subs around?

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Presenting a Challenge ... Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109