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pixelslave -> RE: Honesty in a relationship (11/24/2006 9:36:11 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kalira
For myself; honesty is extremely important. Trying to cover up a mistake does nothing more than cause MORE mistakes; not to mention the guilt I would feel by keeping something from Master.
As for white lies; I will be honest. It depends. If I plan a surprise and don't want him to know, I may tell a small white lie to keep him from discovering the surprise; and then hope that he would understand and forgive me afterwards.
I personally have no poker face and can't seem to tell a lie. If I attempt to, it clearly shows on my face to anyone who knows me well. Plus, later, I can never seem to recall what it was that I said to cover the lie. Consequently, I find that it's much easier to simply tell the truth. Like Kalira, I will tell a white lie (as best I can), in order to cover up a surprise. To me, an omission of the complete truth is the same as telling a lie.
quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Of course I tell him. How else can he truly know me and run me effectively if he is using false data? He needs to know where my head is at all times. He needs to know where I struggle and what I breeze through. He needs to know me inside and out, thoroughly, and this prevents HIM from making a mistake. He relies on his knowledge of me to predict me, to push me, to pull me back, to ease up, to use me effectively without mentally/emotionally/physically harming me. If I am covering up information, I am skewing the data he is depending on, and that could be detrimental.
On this I totally agree! Communication is essential between sub and Dom/me. It needs to go both ways if one is to serve and the other to Dom/me and do it well.
I have also found that some do not like it when I need to work out my feelings with their help. Talking with them as I sort them out seems to confuse and bother some. They prefer me to be concise and to have it figured out before I share my thoughts with them. I find that unfortunate in they don't get the opportunity to understand how my brain processes my thoughts and the events which I experience. But that is just my experience and has only happened once or twice with women who are no longer in my life.
I also agree with others that being honest doesn't mean one has to be blunt; that it can be done with tact as to avoid unneccessarily hurting feelings. To me, that is the way I would prefer to be treated when it is appropriate. When I don't get the message, then it is only appropriate for the one delivering the message to be blunt. But unless that is required, there is no need to be cruel when being honest. [8|]
My $.02 for the day! [:)]
- pixel
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