pixelslave
Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mstrjx
The corresponding thread on being alone, as well as the recent news about how married people are now a minority, go along with this thread quite well.
We talk about not settling. That's fine, well and good.
We talk about having peculiarities that require acceptance, both from ourselves as well as others. Although I made my peace with myself ages ago, I'm saddened that others have not made it to that point yet.
It gets to the point that we see ourselves as SO individual, SO finite, that at some point we assume that there CANNOT be a match for us (as people not in relationships (part of the OP)) without some degree of settling, or an inordinate amount of compromise from one party or the other (or both), and it becomes easier just to put others on the backburner.
Is this the definition of pushing ourselves away from others? Perhaps so. After all, what is the alternative? If there were some huge database along the lines of inputting 'ourselves' as well as what kinks we enjoy crossmatched with those who fit a particular profile (gender, height and weight, sexual identification, what they are into as well as what they are NOT, what kinks in a partner they find acceptable (and NOT), location relative to yours, etc.), then 'maybe' we can allow our guards to be dropped for a moment.
Think this view of ourselves relative to others is farfetched? Think twice, I believe.
Jeff
Jeff,
I think you've touched on issues that strike a chord with me as well. In my opinion, perfection is an illusion at best! To my way of thinking, there's no doubt of the importance of learning to accept and love myself so that I can be open to appreciating the acceptance and unconditional love of others that might come my way. That requires me to look within and be honest with myself before I can be open and honest with others. Being honest with myself is often the most difficult part. At times, there are things that I just don't want to see or acknowledge about myself, regardless of how many times I hear them from others. It is much easier to dismiss them as sour grapes or the rantings of people who barely know me, don't know me well enough to draw those conclusions, or people who simply don't understand me. But when you hear them more than once, perhaps it is time to take a closer look within? Its a very hard and often painful thing to do! 
As Jeff has implied, perhaps it is much easier to push others away as not meeting my standards or matching my profile rather than being more accepting and honest with myself about who and what I am while at the same time, being more tolerant and flexible in regard to those who might find me desirable as well! Perhaps those people already see the things I refuse to acknowledge in myself, yet have chosen to accept them. What greater gift could they give me than that? Are we all as good of a catch as we believe? Perhaps its time for more introspection and honesty with myself and others in that regard. If my friends and family can like me and love me, then why can't I choose to find a woman with which I can do the same? For the record, after choosing to ending an unhealthy 15 year marriage, and largely D/s relationship, I've recently started the process myself of looking for a new Mistress to serve. That said, I would boldly suggest that for many, the answer lies more within than without! 
- pixel
_____________________________
Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!
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RE: Acceptance - 
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