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Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:03:33 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

Forgive me father, it has been 40 years since my last confession... actually, I have never confessed and believe me, the police tried everything. I have strayed away from Collarme. I have spent my time with other websites out of wedlock. I have found that I am taking Collarme's name in vein and let me tell you something... injecting that shit hurts! Oh... sorry Father, at least I didn't say God Damn. Goddammit... I said it again! And again! Jesus... what the fuck is wrong with me?

You see Father what a poor and wretched soul that I am? Am I ever to be forgiven or am I lost forever? Can I return to the fold of Collarme and be embraced as the prodigal son or shall I be cast out and remain exiled for all eternity, fated to live my remaining days as a hideous outcast?

Father?

Ohhhh Faaaaatherrrr?

Um... Hello?

Are you fucking snoring?

Christ, if you want anything done around here, you have to do it yourself.

So... you decide...

What shall my penance be?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

Post #: 1

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:05:22 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

Say fifteen Hail Benjis and call us in the morning.

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 2

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:10:22 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Well, I dont now about that prodigal son stuff, but I think we have an opening for a sacrificial lamb somewhere. Let me find that application.
Say your Hail Benji's, light a leather scented Candle and wait for a sign (or a List from LA enumerating all the other penance threads ever created on CM forums)

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 3

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:16:32 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Well, I dont now about that prodigal son stuff, but I think we have an opening for a sacrificial lamb somewhere. Let me find that application.

Hold the phone here. Sacrificial what? Does this mean I get laid on an altar? Kinky!

No... seriously... I am OK with the sacrificial part if there is no killing. I have never tried dying before and I am fairly sure that I won't like it. Perhaps we could just skip the sacrifice and I'll just get laid?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 4

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:25:43 PM

RazorJAK

Posts: 821
Joined: 8/5/2006
From: Manistee
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
No... seriously... I am OK with the sacrificial part if there is no killing. I have never tried dying before and I am fairly sure that I won't like it.

Meh, it's overrated. When I died, I didn't get any white light. No cherished loved ones who'd passed beyond. Nothing.

All I got was a nurse who gave me her phone number because I was flirting with her in korean after they brought me back but I was still unconscious.

_____________________________

"Are all men from Michigan such loud-mouthed braggarts?"
"Just me baby. Just me."
~ Evil Dead - the musical ~

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 5

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:26:05 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Have you said your hail benjis?
Hail Benji, full of piss
Harried be thy name
Thy will be done
Thy's flys undone
On the forums as it is in PMs

Amen

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 6

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:44:53 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

Nicely done, DV! Can we hide this thread from Saint Benji before he gets any more swelled a head? Pretty soon his halo won't fit.

< Message edited by LadySeraphina -- 11/8/2006 11:46:00 PM >

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 7

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:46:29 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Here I thought we were waiting for him to come down and give his Saintly pardon
If we believe this, does that make us Benjites?

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 8

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:51:58 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

I think it might - or is it 'Benjiites' (pronounced like 'Shiite')?? I suppose Saint Benji will just have to declare what followers of the Church of Benji are called.

Have we created a monster?

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 9

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:54:03 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I dunno, Benji was pretty much a monster well before this thread started.
I can just imagine the religious rules this one might have...

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 10

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/8/2006 11:57:03 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

Well, I dont now about that prodigal son stuff, but I think we have an opening for a sacrificial lamb somewhere. Let me find that application.

Hold the phone here. Sacrificial what? Does this mean I get laid on an altar? Kinky!

No... seriously... I am OK with the sacrificial part if there is no killing. I have never tried dying before and I am fairly sure that I won't like it. Perhaps we could just skip the sacrifice and I'll just get laid?

Maybe a banana sacrifice would do?

Welcome back, Gauge.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 11

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/9/2006 12:01:00 AM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I dunno, Benji was pretty much a monster well before this thread started.
I can just imagine the religious rules this one might have...

Commandments:
1) Thou shalt not scold Saint Benji for doing His business anywhere He pleaseth.
2) Thou shalt practice sarcasm and irreverence wherever thou shalt have the opportunity.
3) Thou shalt ____ (fill-in-the-blanks)

Okay, I'm off to bed - good night all!

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 12

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/9/2006 12:27:32 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

I'm here if you need more bad advice... And don't ask

quote:

What shall my penance be?

after I just read about whether mistresses enjoy menstrual servitude.

*Laughing* M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 11/9/2006 12:29:12 AM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 13

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/9/2006 12:56:41 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

What shall my penance be?

40 lashes

::bends over::

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 14

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/9/2006 3:56:08 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

You must suffer for your indiscretions (this is the Catholic Chuch, remember).
Every post you make from now on must contain or reference the BANANA.

Welcome back.

Edited to add...I think the Mods should change your title from deranged to Banana Man.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 11/9/2006 3:57:15 AM >

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 15

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/9/2006 4:03:22 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

You must suffer for your indiscretions (this is the Catholic Chuch, remember).
Every post you make from now on must contain or reference the BANANA.

Welcome back.

Edited to add...I think the Mods should change your title from deranged to Banana Man.

Thats got my vote.....Welcome back Gauge

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 16

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/9/2006 5:05:58 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

What shall my penance be?

Regale us with tales of couple dysfunction from the other site.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 17

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/9/2006 6:54:42 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

What shall my penance be?

Regale us with tales of couple dysfunction from the other site.

Yeah, we want the scoop on all of the happiness spilling forth from over there.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 18

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/9/2006 7:27:58 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Forgive me father, it has been 40 years since my last confession... actually, I have never confessed and believe me, the police tried everything. I have strayed away from Collarme. I have spent my time with other websites out of wedlock. I have found that I am taking Collarme's name in vein and let me tell you something... injecting that shit hurts! Oh... sorry Father, at least I didn't say God Damn. Goddammit... I said it again! And again! Jesus... what the fuck is wrong with me?

You see Father what a poor and wretched soul that I am? Am I ever to be forgiven or am I lost forever? Can I return to the fold of Collarme and be embraced as the prodigal son or shall I be cast out and remain exiled for all eternity, fated to live my remaining days as a hideous outcast?

Father?

Ohhhh Faaaaatherrrr?

Um... Hello?

Are you fucking snoring?

Christ, if you want anything done around here, you have to do it yourself.

So... you decide...

What shall my penance be?

Firstly, i think You messed up the Act of Contrition.

http://www.catholicsupply.com/exisiting/practof.html

Second, i think You'd be welcome anywhere.

However, i have seem You claim to be Gawd. This violates various Commandments (though i have not engraved Your image anywhere....but then i guess that'd be my sin.)

http://www.10commandments.net

So, without knowing more, i'll just assume You have violated all the Comandments repeatedly, and here's Your punishment"

You must come up with a humorous thread Op which s'how prevents P/posters from calling on Benji for help. They must struggle through, unaided.

candystripper

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 19

RE: Forgive me Father for I have sinned - 11/9/2006 7:49:22 AM

eroticangel

Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline

welcome back Gauge...it's very good to see you!

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 20

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