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RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 7:57:04 AM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

quote:

"Mass mailings" are just silly in my opinion, and quite obvious too, when I receive them.


I politely let him know I wasn't interested. He sent me another note to let me know how wrong I was and how perfect he was and "The One" for me he was. This happens to me quite frequently...the begging and the whining. I'm sure it happens to other Dommes too. (I'm gender specific here because I have a feeling that the female subs go about this differantly, and aren't as up front about the begging, but I certainly could be wrong.)


It's not just the subs who whine. It constantly surprises me when i do write back saying thanks but no -- for a variety of reason -- that the doms write back saying..aww...comeon..what's wrong with me, or your making a big mistake young lady (and..btw..i'm not young..lol). i raised 3 sons and one of the first things i taught them was..no whinning. jeez, that drives me nuts..lol. It's almost enough to discourage the polite refusal.

cheers
jimini

< Message edited by krikket -- 2/7/2005 7:58:24 AM >

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin



When your heart speaks take good notes.





(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 8:07:34 AM   
Darthbetta


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		See, If I get a "no thankyou" (which I asked for if no interest) I completly accept it, and will simply send "ok, I thought I would say HI, thankyou for the solid reply as to not leave things hanging open as I have no wishes to hound people."

"So, I'll Just go dangle the worm in another pond full of fish."... or something to that effect.

whining back "WAHHHHH WAHH WHY NOT ME??? WHATS WRONG WITH MEE !!! " WAHHHHHH"
will get you nowhere.

Neither will " Wahhhhhh ! W3ll 1t 1$ J0r L0$$ ! I r T3h gr34T3$T d0/\/\ 3V4r 1337 !!!!!!



so you NOODLE HEADS.. put that under your cap and soak on it.

_____________________________

Some of us have an inane knack for calling people on their Bullshit... I just choose to retort with bitter dry Sarcasm, and occasionaly it sinks in. Mostly, I just look like an ass.

(in reply to krikket)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 8:07:45 AM   
Goodmix


Posts: 86
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline 		it might be difficult to beleive, but i do try to be polite, but i guess even when i say ~ QUOTE at this time i am not interested END QUOTE ~ they don't take that as a no, and continute writing. I don't have time to keep say "i'm not interested" This is currently happening to me as we speak. This guy claims to be financially well off and was offering a expeses paid deal, if things worked out (of course) , so you think he would be smarter than that, BUT...nope !
He took the time and wrote a very nice e-mail, that's why i responded to begin with, but 2 days ago he e-mails me again and says, "all you have to do is tell me where you want to meet." HUH? tell him where i want to meet, i'm not interested ! To tell someone no, no, and by the way , no is a wate of my time. I work a full time job, and have a full life, which he isn't a part of so i do not owe him anything. i enjoy talking to people on this site, and enjoy the friendships i've made which is another reaon why i respond, but some people don't want just friendship.

(in reply to MasterDonfromPA)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 8:20:40 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sanita


quote:

~Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*


oooooh! i like that, btw!


Isn't that a great quote? When I found it, I knew it was mine!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to sanita)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 8:56:04 AM   
DeadofKnight


Posts: 29
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		After reading this topic again, considering that to OP
quote:

I posted a Very well written email To over 100 people Seeking what I wanted Here...
do the numbers.... "very well written" equals much time spent, 100 in 12 hours equals 7 minutes each.
Now, I don't know about you, but it takes me far more than seven minutes to compose a "very well written" introductory letter. So, seems more may be amiss here than is being said.

Just my 2 cents,
DoK

< Message edited by DeadofKnight -- 3/5/2005 8:46:23 AM >

_____________________________

Knight
These are my views and my opinions. Please treat them as such.
If you'd like to ask a question of my posts, mail me here on Collarme.
Mutually collared with hesterprynne

(in reply to Darthbetta)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 9:23:28 AM   
DameDarkness


Posts: 341
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		I have to agree with what the others have said on this subject. Unfortunately like myself being a Domina I get thousands of emails from all the diff sites I go to and I have to take time to go through all of those emails. Sift out who is real and who is not. I do take the time to try to reply whether it be something small like I am not interested or to say hi and i will get back to you. That way they know that yes I am a real person and that either im interested or not. I am not rude about it. Although it may be interprated as sounding rude. But remember these are words in black and white. You can not interprate what the other means when typing not interested. Because you really dont know what that person is feeling at that moment. So what you may think is rude is in their mind not rude.

Dame Darkness

_____________________________

Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.

(in reply to MasterDonfromPA)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 9:55:55 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
Unless he found all 100 and queued them up, you're forgetting the time to find them also. Thinking about it, 12 hours for 100 subs is in the realm of form mail with small personalizations. Making a letter personal is more than telling the sub that you like their photo or their interests sound good. A well written letter of intro takes me quite a while. Back when I was doing such things, I'd easily spend an hour on a profile, picking out the reasons I felt we were similar, telling the submissive about myself and asking questions based on the information in their profile.

Someone else mentioned that finding 100 people who are compatible is pretty amazing. Thinking about it, finding them In twelve hours is a miracle. The more this thread goes on, the less I believe this person has a reason to be unhappy. It is beginning to become clear that substandard effort was put into the contacts, no matter the protestations to the contrary. I am with Topcat at this point. I'd like to see one of the actual "personal" missives he sent out.

Now, I'm going to give you some unasked for advice Don

1) No matter how much you'd like it to be so, putting a title in front of your name doesn't make you a Dominant. Submissives are very well aware of this. They are used to people who wish they were Dominant trying to convince them to sub to them.

2) If your communications do not indicate you are Dominant, they aren't going to take you seriously. Let me give an example of non Dominant communication. "Hello Slut, You interest Me. Write Me now!" When you do not know a submissive, you have no right to refer to them by anything other than their ID. You also do not have rights to give them orders, correct their behaviour or expect anything from them. I'm not giving an example of Dominant communication. You either know how to do it or you don't.

3) Your profile is the main window into your mind that a sub has. Fill it out better. Give an idea of your experience, who you are and what you expect in a partner. Do not turn it into a ramble or people won't finish it. One thing to keep in mind.. you are selling yourself to prospective subs. (just as they are selling themselves to prospective Dom/me) Would you buy a car based on: Great car, six years old, drives well? Or would you buy one that describes the car, tells what upgrades the car has had and paints it in glowing colors? Think about it!

4) Learn how to control yourself before you expect to control anyone else. We all are human and get frustrated. Your first post is explainable and excusable. The way you responded later was not.

5) There are way more men in BDSM than there are women. There are more male subs then Domme. There are more Dom than female subs. It is the way it is.. if you're male, you have to stand out in some way to attract the females.

Why do I get the idea that this advice will neither be appreciated nor heeded? *sighs*

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to DeadofKnight)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 10:12:06 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I posted a Very well written email To over 100 people Seeking what I wanted Here, and As of this Point almost 50 people have recived them


Curious what you would have done if you received 100 POSITIVE responses? Played a home version of 'The Submissive-Bachelorette' or something?

Also amazed that 100 submissives were close enough to your Pottsville PA location to warrant a "very well written" email. Maybe it's all those relocating from the Centralia PA (Another Lifestyle 'hot-spot') mine fire.

Don't fret - you still have 50 potential responses out there!

(in reply to MasterDonfromPA)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 10:22:26 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

Why do I get the idea that this advice will neither be appreciated nor heeded? *sighs*

Actually I think that fine advice will be appreciated and heeded . . . just not by "Master" Don. After not getting the sympathy he expected with his first post, he fired one last shot at folks and then probably decided that instead of reading any more responses his time would be better spent writing the next 100 thoughtful love letters.

But I'll bet some lurkers probably read your advice and will follow it.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 10:24:32 AM   
Cyis75


Posts: 164
Joined: 8/31/2004
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DeadofKnight

After reading this topic again, considering that to OP
quote:

I posted a Very well written email To over 100 people Seeking what I wanted Here...
do the numbers.... "very well written" equals much time spent, 100 in 12 hours equals 7 minutes each.
Now, I don't know about you, but it takes me far more than seven minutes to compose a "very well written" introductory letter. So, seems more may be amiss here than is being said.

Just my 2 cents,
DoK


I'm glad someone else came to this conclusion as I did. I know I've not tried to contact a fraction of the "100" the OP said he sent, but I do know that any emails I have sent have taken me a lot longer than around 7 minutes to write. If you wrote an essay for class in 7 minutes would your instructor consider it "very well written"? Over the years, on various sites, I've sent out hundreds of letters sure. Of those only a small number have ever resulted in replies and only a small number of those lead to continued contact and even fewer have resulted in anything more than that. So if the OP sent out 100 letters that took an average of 7 minutes each and got a handful of no thank you replies back, then I'd say he's beating the odds already so why cry and complain?

(in reply to DeadofKnight)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 11:02:00 AM   
Darthbetta


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress


5) There are way more men in BDSM than there are women. There are more male subs then Domme. There are more Dom than female subs. It is the way it is.. if you're male, you have to stand out in some way to attract the females.

Why do I get the idea that this advice will neither be appreciated nor heeded? *sighs*


Would putting on a BOZO the CLOWN suit do the trick ?

Then at lest I could fuck them silly.....

<trumpet blawah> Blwant want wahhhhh

< Message edited by Darthbetta -- 2/7/2005 11:03:48 AM >

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 12:15:02 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Would putting on a BOZO the CLOWN suit do the trick ?


No but taking the bucket off your head might help. (j/k but couldn't resist)

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Darthbetta)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 12:22:47 PM   
Darthbetta


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		If I took off the bucket, then well.....


ok, I'll try.

_____________________________

Some of us have an inane knack for calling people on their Bullshit... I just choose to retort with bitter dry Sarcasm, and occasionaly it sinks in. Mostly, I just look like an ass.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 12:36:35 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

If I took off the bucket, then well.....


ok, I'll try.


Too Funny, LMAO!! love a guy with a sense of humor.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to Darthbetta)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 3:06:19 PM   
songbird26


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: krikket

It's not just the subs who whine. It constantly surprises me when i do write back saying thanks but no -- for a variety of reason -- that the doms write back saying..aww...comeon..what's wrong with me, or your making a big mistake young lady


Oh boy, you've got that one right. This happens to me all. the. freaking. time. I know we're in one of the few subcultures in life where it's acceptable to take "no" as "yes" occasionally, but I don't think it's ever appropriate to read "no" as "whine some more at me, maybe be kind of pushy and rude, and maybe I'll cave because clearly I made a mistake YOU BIG GORGEOUS PERFECT MAN YOU, OH TAKE ME NOW!!!!!"

*ahem*

In reply to the OP, I'd just like to point out that I reply to every single email I get where the dominant has shown even the slightest sign of reading my profile. Something that shows he hasn't? Like, oh, "You would need to relocate to PA," or "I'm seeking a sub who lives for rope bondage and nothing else!"? Is an auto-delete for me. One-worders and "call me!" emails also get bagged right off. So maybe in those twelve hours of writing emails (good lord, man, pace yourself!) you forgot to read the profiles of the submissives you were gracing with your majestic attention and irresistible words. Or maybe not, but it's a possibility. Also, in case you don't realize this, it's incredibly rude to run around calling people you don't know "rude."

< Message edited by songbird26 -- 2/7/2005 3:09:05 PM >

(in reply to krikket)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 3:07:28 PM   
Cyis75


Posts: 164
Joined: 8/31/2004
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta

Would putting on a BOZO the CLOWN suit do the trick ?


Actually know a lovely gal in my local community that would safe out if you had a clown suit on. She has a limit with clowns and a few of us that know do like to tease her playfully about it from time to time at the local munch...

(in reply to Darthbetta)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 3:16:51 PM   
Cyis75


Posts: 164
Joined: 8/31/2004
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		krikket and snowbird26 do have a valid point as well with the whining going both ways. Whenever I get a "no thanks" reply I simply send a reply back thanking them for their response and wishing them the best. Then I don't contact again. No sense in whining about it. The whining does go both ways though so I can't say whether it's more from the dominant side or the submissive side of the spectrum.

I can understand the submissives point of view on this as I have gotten to read many of the pathetic emails from other dominants that have contacted my "kitty" both on here and other websites. She does try to be polite and say no thanks to those that aren't completely rude in their initial email. The ones that don't get the hint then just get redirected to me and usually tend to get the point rather quickly when that happens.

Common courtesy of atleast replying back "no thanks" from both sides would go a long way, but to expect it is completely fantasy land expectations. In our case we try to exhibit what we would like to receive in return and for the most part it works, but you'd be surprised how often it doesn't. Having the ability to see both sides has its advantages for seeing the situation objectively.

(in reply to songbird26)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 5:13:20 PM   
CTclay


Posts: 123
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

maybe I'll cave because clearly I made a mistake YOU BIG GORGEOUS PERFECT MAN YOU, OH TAKE ME NOW!!!!!"


Ha! Oh, that's hilarious -- I think that would make the perfect one-line reply to the guys who don't take no for an answer.

(in reply to songbird26)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 5:34:02 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Of course the short answer could be:

"Dude, she just ain't into you."

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to EStrict)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: RUDE submissives - 2/7/2005 5:38:17 PM   
Shayna


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Of course the short answer could be:

"Dude, she just ain't into you."


*cry*

I read that book last night. Are men really that black and white??? Please say it ain't so!

(probably a topic for another thread)

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 60
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