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Does "who you are" get lost in the translatio... - 11/13/2006 6:10:35 AM

mistoferin

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Joined: 10/27/2004
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A friend of mine pointed out to me that my personality often doesn't really come through in my posts here. He said that the "parts of me" that get lost here are some of my best qualities and that the "picture" that gets painted is lacking. Most notably my sense of humor and my warmth and compassionate demeanor.

After talking with him and thinking over my posting style I realized that he does have a valid point. I am a very upbeat, happy....even bubbly person and I spend a great deal of time smiling and laughing. I LOVE to have fun and bring a smile to people's faces. Although it doesn't come across here often, I am also a very caring and compassionate person. I'm a good listener who often offers up my shoulders or hugs. I don't often give hand outs but I very frequently offer hand ups.

I think that I often come across as being insensitive and lacking the ability to be empathetic...in reality the exact opposite is more of who I am. Maybe it's just that here we are "words on a screen" and it's hard to understand who the "human" is behind the words.

So....does part of you get lost here? Who are you really?

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 11/13/2006 6:29:43 AM >

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~erin~

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"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

Post #: 1

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 6:27:24 AM

meatcleaver

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The written word is only 7% of the communication process which also includes body language and expression. It's also impossible to be spontaneous and quick witted here and humour has a big chance of being misintepreted so I imagine most people are completely different in r/l than what they appear to be in the forums.

I've been told I'm much more laid back and easy going and humourous than what I appear like in the threads. A lot of time when I appear frustrated, its as much to do with the frustration of communicating online.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 2

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 6:59:55 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
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The internet is such a flat medium. Personalities cannot really be expressed truly. I think mostly the bitchy part comes out here. I am a very easy going, happy person in reality. Maybe its the way I respond to threads maybe it is because sometimes I feel strongly about a subject.

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(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 3

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 7:48:57 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
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quote:

I think that I often come across as being insensitive and lacking the ability to be empathetic...in reality the exact opposite is more of who I am. Maybe it's just that here we are "words on a screen" and it's hard to understand who the "human" is behind the words.

In "the real world" you get to select the folks you interact with, so of course you will be more empathetic with your friends; similarly we also avoid folks who are so dense it would be impossible to empathize, so we'd simply walk away shaking our heads at their stupidity instead of publicly trying to give them a clue.

So I don't think who we are is getting lost in the translation here; instead we're just given an opportunity to hang out with folks who bring out our bad sides. And yeah, it happens to me too.

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(in reply to mistoferin)

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RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 7:55:18 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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I don't know because I honestly do not know how I am percieved.

I would assume that my humour often times gets lost in translation. Perhaps my attempts as using complete sentences that try to make sense could be construed as more snooty than I am. I just honestly haven't a clue what others imagine me to be sooooooooooo, I dunno!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 5

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 8:15:19 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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i am one of a kind. who i am depedns alot on who the other is. the neighbor might say oh thats the guy that lives there. a clerk at the store will say thats the guy always in a hurry.

a relative may say thats the looser.

i had a best friend in shiock after 5 yrs he thought he knew me.

if someone online says A/S/L i keep on going.

my parrot both loves and hates me. hmmm. growing up mom and dad sai i was the smart one. now that im missing a tooth shocks the shtt out of some when i go into an ineligent remark.

lol

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 6

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 8:17:40 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

A friend of mine pointed out to me that my personality often doesn't really come through in my posts here. He said that the "parts of me" that get lost here are some of my best qualities and that the "picture" that gets painted is lacking. Most notably my sense of humor and my warmth and compassionate demeanor.

erin, from talking to you on the other side, i have to agree with this.

After talking with him and thinking over my posting style I realized that he does have a valid point. I am a very upbeat, happy....even bubbly person and I spend a great deal of time smiling and laughing. I LOVE to have fun and bring a smile to people's faces. Although it doesn't come across here often, I am also a very caring and compassionate person. I'm a good listener who often offers up my shoulders or hugs. I don't often give hand outs but I very frequently offer hand ups.

This is the impression i have of you too.

I think that I often come across as being insensitive and lacking the ability to be empathetic...in reality the exact opposite is more of who I am. Maybe it's just that here we are "words on a screen" and it's hard to understand who the "human" is behind the words.

So....does part of you get lost here? Who are you really?

In RL, i tend to be a very logical person and a debater....just how i am 'wired' i guess. i find myself being like that here too. i really do try to be the same here as i otherwise am. But true enough...the 'screen'...the anonymity....does offer us the chance to be totally different....with no real consequences.

There is a poster i see that most all of his posts are quite derogatory....calling others names and such. But he says in RL, he is shy. And i thought 'it's a good thing because if he ever said those things to people in RL, he'd probably get the shit kicked out of him'. But again, the 'screen' offers a safe haven to say whatever you want, to whomever you want...with little repercussion. And then we really don't get to know the 'real person' on the other side.

In RL, i am not derogatory nor condescending to others. i tend to have a great sense of humor. But i also have sarcastic side that i would only use with my friends because they understand what i mean. On here, anything sarcastic can be taken the wrong way....particularly if it's not followed by one of these '' Sole written communication is just so much tougher than face to face. i think there is a lot of misunderstanding here which only fuels the fire for 'battle' (so to speak).

But as i said, i make every effort to be who i truly am on here but i realize that i do sometimes fall short. And i have felt the 'better side' of you in some of your posts too....and i think it's cool!

So maybe sometimes all it takes is an awareness that we are doing such to help us get back on track? *shrugs*

Hope all is well with you

DG

< Message edited by adaddysgirl -- 11/13/2006 8:31:48 AM >

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 7

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 8:18:42 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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People say I'm much more a shark online and much more a bunny offline. I think it's because I'm a good writer and can easily organize my thoughts and consider the online forum a place to debate and discuss where all the guns can come out, but offline it's always a social situation where making everyone comfy comes ahead of anything else.

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(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 8

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 9:05:45 AM

Nikolette

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Joined: 10/2/2004
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I think that a part of people does get lost in translation online because of how deep and complex people can be. However... I have met people in RL after only knowing them online for a good while and been a bit startled that they were basically the same. My conclusion in those times was very situational- rather than general- but perhaps it could be general..... The conclusion was they were sort of putting on a bit of a show in RL and Online for me. A show that involved how they wanted themselves to come off, rather than any of their true thoughts or feelings. I think if someone is pretty repressed then there isn't much getting lost because they never let much out- no matter where, no matter when, no matter with whom.

For me personally some does get lost in translation. The first thing people say when meeting me in RL after online is "Wow you are so animated and cute" Like cutesy in my expressions and guestures apparently. That definitely doesn't come out online because its something I am mostly unaware of in RL.

I think there is a softness and pleasantness in manners for most people that doesn't show online usually. Online someone can't see that you are pretty considerate and polite and even gentle in general if that comes out in how you TREAT people on a daily basis, rather than what you SAY to people. However enough exposure to the given person it CAN come out slowly. My dad always told me to watch out for what people DO rather than what they SAY and that has been true time and time again. People will show you who they are, but often they will not tell you who they are, even if they have the ability to and mostly they don't.

Another interesting twist to this lost in translation concept is....... .... which could be more "real"? The online person who is unfettered by societies rules and allows their trueness (ideas, attitudes, morals etc) to spill out because its mostly anonymous? Or the real life person who never exposes themselves, no matter how funny, sweet and great they seem in person?

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"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 9

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 9:07:53 AM

mnottertail

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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Pretty much, unless I am interpreted by someone who gets the visuals and obscure subreferencing, Ja....................

Ron

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(in reply to Nikolette)

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RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 9:12:24 AM

Aileen68

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Joined: 8/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Pretty much, unless I am interpreted by someone who gets the visuals and obscure subreferencing, Ja....................

Ron

Translation: Yes.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 11

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 9:14:58 AM

Aileen68

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Joined: 8/2/2005
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If I come across as slightly sarcastic with a bit of a biting edge to my humor, then nope. That's exactly who I am. I'm usually able to express myself in few words. I have a dry, dirty sense of humor and outlook on life and I love to flirt with the online boys.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 11/13/2006 9:29:35 AM >

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 12

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 9:26:32 AM

fergus

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Joined: 6/22/2005
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I worry that I may come off as a smug, self-sactimonious prick.

I also worry that I come off as who I really am (see first statement) ;)

fergus

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 13

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 9:31:50 AM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

I don't know actually. I dont know anyone on the boards that I also know in real life, so I can't really do a comparison? I know I tend to be much shyer offline, and I communicate myself better through writing than verbally. So.. maybe the boards are my "true" self, and real life is the sham? *laugh*

God how sad that would be.

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A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to fergus)

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RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 9:59:15 AM

toservez

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Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
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The problem with cyber and messages on a board or Email to strangers is showing the proper tone and perspective. Often sense of humor is almost impossible to convey if you are not a skilled writer as most of us depend on voice inflection and body language to give a joke to someone. I would like to think strongly that I have a good sense of humor that would be next to impossible to see in my writing.

My biggest issue though is the lack of perspective. People have really only so much information that is gathered from what they read about you that it is natural to get a very inaccurate picture of a person. A person might form an opinion for one or two messages about you, like something is really important, but in real life it means very little. Everything seems to come off as something more important then it really is in most cases. A rant might just be a rant and the person is in a perfectly good mood that day or multiple posts about a topic might not mean the person has issues with the topic.

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(in reply to Lorelei115)

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RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 10:01:08 AM

marieToo

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Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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General Reply:

I absolutely know for a fact that I come off differently here, than in real life, in many ways.

My sarcasm is a very real part of who I am. And my sense of humor, I believe is usually intepreted correctly online, especially by those who share a similar sense of humor.

However, I'm sure that I come off as self-righteous and maybe snobby online. When in fact, I am extremely sensitive and tuned into other people emotionally, even if I don't share their views. If I said the things I say here, in person, Im sure not a single person would be mad at me, as they often are around here. In person, my sincerity and actual down-to-earth attitude is recognized immediately by those around me, and I'm commonly very well-liked and quickely trusted. On here, I would say the opposite is true. There is something about the way I communicate online that makes most people dislike me. Mostly I attribute this to the fact that my tone of voice and facial expressions actually depict me far better than my words do. And I guess that would be true for most people.
Also, arguments in my real life do not escalate as much or as often as they do around here. I really don't like to argue. I just happen to see things differently than the majority of people. Often, I will go back and delete posts because I know an argument will ensue, because my tone can't be heard, and I know someone will misinterpret. I actually get very upset when that happens..sometimes I even cry, and it ruins my day when Im at odds with someone that I like, or feel a certain respect or admiration for. But because it's online, it's better left unraveled than to open a can of worms when you cannot communicate adequately or see the discussion through to a point of mutual understanding. Mostly I am becoming more self-controlled around here and just being light-hearted and humorous rather than making serious statements any more. Im not always successful, but I'm getting better at it. :)

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marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to fergus)

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RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 10:38:30 AM

HollyS

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Maybe it's just that here we are "words on a screen" and it's hard to understand who the "human" is behind the words.

So....does part of you get lost here? Who are you really?

There are very few people here who've spoken with me outside the forums, so I'd have to defer to them on whether "the real me" comes through on the boards. Hopefully I project accurately and question/answer people here with the same level of sensitivity that I would were we meeting face-to-face, but of course sometimes I fall short.

I think often the problem isn't with a lack of facials or body language to accompany written text, but rather that people often forget that there's a live human being reading on the other end...a person who may have posted in distress or pain, or in the heat of anger. Maybe the person posted while very frustrated or sad or confused and is looking for help or validation or encouragement. Or maybe they came looking to troll, stir the pot and otherwise inflict their drama on the rest of us. All of these are possible since we can never see the actual person behind the screen.

Is a part of me being lost here? I hope not.

Do I look hard for those parts of others that may be getting lost d/t the vageries of online communication? Yes.

~Holly

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(in reply to mistoferin)

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RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 1:48:37 PM

subjected2006

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
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Yes..I am smart and warm and funny.
And that never comes through here at all.
My farts smell of petunias also.
You will just have to trust me on that.

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a rose is a rose..

(in reply to HollyS)

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RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 2:08:32 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
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Hmmm, I honestly don't know, probably something is lost communicating this way.

I don't joke to much online, I do alot of jabbing with people I know in real life. Like I'm a overweight and my friend is overweight. So, I'll call him fat ass while rubbing my big belly with a straight face and proceed to lecture on the benefits of a healthy diet while drinking from a two liter of Mountain Dew. LOL. Hypocritical humor, I love it. Or give marriage advice after I went on about how prostitution should be legal and the benefits thereof. Things like that.

I generally write on here just to express a singular thought on something then go. Personally, in real life, I tend to ramble on more about more varied stuff.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 19

RE: Does "who you are" get lost in the transl... - 11/13/2006 2:33:27 PM

NorthernGent

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Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

So....does part of you get lost here? Who are you really?

I've no idea but I do know that no amount of praise or criticism from a message board full of people I don't know is going to make a blind bit of difference to me.

If that makes me sound like an arrogant English tosser then good because that is exactly what I am

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to mistoferin)

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