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overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 9:09:56 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		Ok, i don't want to sound like i get alot of email, but i do. And just tonight spent 3 hours straight talking to this or that Dom. i have other things to do, and just can't keep up with all this.  

i don't want to seem like i am a snob, but right now in my life i really can't handle this many people demanding my time. (many say they aren't, but then when they realize i seem to never have time....they get upset.) i have had one want me to commit right after meeting face to face, and i just couldn't.

Ok....breathe....i would never leave the boards, but is there a way to stop recieving email? Let them know i'm nto looking while i am going through so much with school and moving?

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 9:11:46 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Stop responding to anything that doesn't interest you.  The flood will die down at that point.  There's nothing you can do to ELIMINATE all email as long as you keep your mailbox open.  Putting something in your profile might help, but only with people who read and care about your profile.

Why do you care what a cyber loser thinks when he's behaving rudely?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 9:14:37 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		If you go to the "Edit Profile" on the Home Page and choose "Deactivate Profile" I believe nobody will be able to see your profile.  I'm sure you can still use the Message Boards with it deactivated, but I don't know if you can use email.

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 9:18:21 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrazyC

right now in my life i really can't handle this many people demanding my time.


Nothing says that you have to give your time simply because they demand it. You have the right to choose. Be picky.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 9:18:30 PM   
BDSM05478


Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		you can adjust your email settings to only allow those that meet your criteria to land in your inbox.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 9:19:08 PM   
Powerman40


Posts: 510
Joined: 7/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Stop responding to anything that doesn't interest you.  The flood will die down at that point.  There's nothing you can do to ELIMINATE all email as long as you keep your mailbox open.  Putting something in your profile might help, but only with people who read and care about your profile.

Why do you care what a cyber loser thinks when he's behaving rudely?


yea.. what she say points up ^^^. dam. I cannot respond to all three of them I have  had in the last six months or so....already....... lifes to short. pick and choose. *S* winks~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 9:24:31 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Your profile shows an adorable picture posted, says you are new (an invitation on it's own, for the most part), and mentions the kind of Master you would like.  I am not surprised you are getting a ton of email :)

I agree with the suggestion of editing your profile to cut down on the mail. 

Good luck!!

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 9:29:53 PM   
Powerman40


Posts: 510
Joined: 7/11/2006
Status: offline 		leave it alone and edit what you receive,
the pic is great. leave it. *S*

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 9:57:34 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		I must admit that I had the same problem elsewhere.  I wish I hadn't been so respectful to all of the decent replies ... but, it was amusing, fun, and ego-boosting. 

Bottom line - you can do with the correspondence as you please.  If you do not have time, then don't reply.  Simple.

Edited to add:  I wasn't a teenager.  Be careful spring chicken.

< Message edited by babysburnin -- 11/13/2006 9:58:47 PM >

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 10:11:35 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		It is hard, becasue now that i ma dealing in a diffrent area (CA instead of OR)..i am actually getting emails from many who do fit my standards. None have been stupid, and most stimulating questions and conversations.

But i did change somethings...no one under 27 and no one over 50. No one out of state and no one out of country. And i guess, i just need to learn to get a damn backbone and say no. But in all honesty that will be hard.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to babysburnin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/13/2006 10:21:40 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		They have an automatic reply button which you can send an autoreply to those whom you are not interested.

Here is my take on this issue, which everyone has their own way of selecting men they maybe interested in.

I was into taking it slow with those I had an interest in, and letting them know I wanted to take my time, if they are not up with that, well they just self selected for the "do not pursue" pile. I had this experience when I first signed up for an account on here and on alt. The thing that impressed me about Sinergy's emails were the lack of pushiness, the willingness to engage my mind and not ask for a list of kinks, and his sincerity. It becomes apparent rather quickly when someone is "wrong" for you in how they act when you try to pursue your life. I had several very pushy almost desperate suitors that turned me off, and then there were the ones that misrepresented their kinks or interests to gain my attention, these were harder to weed out, but not that hard.

I am sure you will make time for someone with substance that meets your needs... but you have to kiss a lot of frogs first...



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/14/2006 4:20:40 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		The mail does die down eventually.  Keep in mind that if you make any word changes to your profile that you pop back up under new profiles (I think)...thus you'll see an increase in troll mail for a bit after that.  You can use mail filters and I've found that my journal entry lessens the mail dramatically.  If you deactivate, you won't show up on the other side, but you can still surf there and send mail.  The only ones that can send you mail are ones replying to your mail.  If you feel that you must reply to unsolicited mail...a quick "thanks, but I'm not looking" is more than appropriate.  If they continue to email after then just delete.  Personally, I only block those who are extremely offensive.  Leave the pic..it's great.  You control who you talk to and for how long.

edited for spelling.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 11/14/2006 4:22:28 AM >

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/14/2006 6:00:27 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		I've had the same problem.  Everyone who has contacted me has been very polite, but I'm overwhelmed by the number of emails.  And yes, many do fit my criteria.  Some just offer a compliment on my pictures and/or profile and I send a simple 'thank you'.  Although one wanted to fix my hair!

I don't know whatcha call where I'm at, but I'm talking to a Dominant and we seem like a good fit for each other.  We are planning on meeting in person soon.  I guess what I'm saying is I'm not officially His [can ya tell I'm having a hard time coming up with the right words here?  LOL!], so I can't say that in my profile, but I'm not interested in speaking with other Dominants at this point because I want to see where this goes.  So I'm not sure what, if anything, I should say on my profile.


(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/14/2006 6:36:53 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		LOL,

You girls!!!!  I thought it would feel nice to be wanted................


Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/14/2006 6:57:07 AM   
IvyP


Posts: 43
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline 		it can seem a tad overwhelming.............one can deactivate ones profile, i did at my Masters behest....just beathe.......i myself am learning how to, this is my first Master...it seems surreal at times.....finally or closer to something that has been so illusive..good luck with the breathing....remember just cause one piece of pie falls on the floor....doesnt mean ya cant eat the rest!


Then happy i to love, and am beloved......Where i can not remove, nor be removed :)

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/14/2006 7:34:28 AM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

LOL,

You girls!!!!  I thought it would feel nice to be wanted................


Ron


You know i love Your emails. :)

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/14/2006 7:42:44 AM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

I've had the same problem.  Everyone who has contacted me has been very polite, but I'm overwhelmed by the number of emails.  And yes, many do fit my criteria.  Some just offer a compliment on my pictures and/or profile and I send a simple 'thank you'.  Although one wanted to fix my hair!

I don't know whatcha call where I'm at, but I'm talking to a Dominant and we seem like a good fit for each other.  We are planning on meeting in person soon.  I guess what I'm saying is I'm not officially His [can ya tell I'm having a hard time coming up with the right words here?  LOL!], so I can't say that in my profile, but I'm not interested in speaking with other Dominants at this point because I want to see where this goes.  So I'm not sure what, if anything, I should say on my profile.




Sort of understand. :) My philosophy though is just becasue we meet a couple of times doesn't mean we both want each other. More like...to keep my very tender heart safe...until the right Dom says "I want you", i will keep getting to know other Doms. (Saying that makes me feel like i'm playing the field.) This what i did when i was dating in the vanilla lifestyle, so i see no point in settling tell it is a mutual agreement. that way i don't loose my heart in chasing someone who might not return the feelings.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/14/2006 7:49:55 AM   
darksdesire


Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		When i was first searching, i never felt inclined to answer every email.  If i wasn't interested, i simply didn't respond.  If i was, i'd write back.  i think the male to female population on these sites may be way out of balance, and women who are searching can easily be overwhelmed with the volume of emails. 

Which brings me to a question; i'm wondering if any men on here have been overwhelmed with a large volume of emails.   i'm assuming it's more of an issue for the women, but now i wonder. 

(in reply to CrazyC)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/14/2006 6:37:26 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		It's your mailbox, if you don't like someone's approach you need not even bother to answer. You may want to add this to your profile that no response equals a no. Don't know if it will help but it couldn't hurt.

Same for Yahoo or whatever IM program you use, turn it to private only, block people, say you can't talk and close the box. You know how to hang up on telemarketers I assume, no difference here.

But just being new brings you a ton of mail. When I joined I changed my age to 85 after a couple of days and that stopped the deluge. I did get some curious emails about it but they were polite and I answered why I had done it.

(in reply to darksdesire)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: overwhelmed... - 11/14/2006 7:17:51 PM   
ladychatterley


Posts: 132
Joined: 3/10/2006
Status: offline 		When I was searching I wrote a profile that scared a lot of people off, and that worked really well for me.  Back in vanilla world, I had tried not to intimidate people, but once I got here, I figured--what the hell--if 'quotidian,' 'PhD' and 'deconstruct' scare them, it wouldn't be a good match.  Looking at your profile, I might suggest you consider talking more about your interests in psychology and earth-based faith.  You might also consider, if there are things you want in the relationship, to be clearer about what you want from it.  It will turn off the men that aren't worth it and give the men that are worth it an easy way to strike up a conversation.

I also didn't have a picture (but mostly because I'm super protective of my privacy for professional, personal and what-I-want-to-do in 20 years reasons). 

Now I have deactivated my profile--I can use the message boards and send e-mail, but no one can e-mail me unless I e-mail them.  There are times I'd like another option (submissive women can e-mail me, or something like that), but I met a few people as friends that I liked and would like to keep that, but it just isn't worth it.

Finally, I would add, you do not owe anyone anything.  Don't feel like you need to reply to any message that isn't good for you.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 20
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