A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba)

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TreSwank -> A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 5:18:01 AM)
I'm sure that most of the grown folks on this site have had the singularly objectionable experience of witnessing a phenomenon that squeaky-clean American lingo refers to as DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (aka: wife beatin', woman slappin'). We're all familiar with that banal song and dance routine.........yes? Well, the script goes something like this: woman runs out of the house in tears, calls her sister/mother/female friend on the cell-phone, and VOILA - all the neighbors are throwing bags of Jiffy-Pop in the microwave, and watching the season's best entertainment through their bedroom window, as Mr. Badman gets led to the police-car in handcuffs. Oh.........what a horrible, depraved individual Mr. Badman is perceived to be by the neighborhood peanut gallery and the local police station. Only scumbags beat on their wives and girlfriends, right? Later on Janie goes to counseling, where Mrs. Lifetime (Television for Women) chants the universal "abused woman" mantra..................It's not your fault, Janie, no matter how he might have been provoked. No one has the right to hit you, and Mr. Badman is going to jail for a long time. There it is, folks. Everyone thinks that Janie is some kind of victimized martyr, and Mr. Badman....... well.........that newly shunned pariah won't see the light of day for a couple years. But what if.......just what if..........things were a little different from the vogue-ish Lifetime perspective? What if the case in question was similar to one that your beloved Author Constant had witnessed himself. Let's look at a different script, where the role of housewife will be played by Jennifer Kudrow, and that of the husband by Brad Pitt. Wife to Husband: You know, my dad always told me that you were a piece of shit, just like your white trash family. Husband to Wife: Please don't talk about my family like that, babe. I don't want to lose my temper with you. Wife to Husband: Lose your temper? What...are you going to hit ME?? Huh...........is that what you want to fucking do? YOU, and your trash-bin whore of a mother can go to hell. *SLAP Oh no.......now I'm a just a ingenuous girl, running out of the house in tears and telling the police how you gave me this black eye. You're trying to relate the incident to Buford T. Justice from YOUR perspective, but NOBODY'S listening , because you hit a woman, and you're BAD. Nobody's supposed to hit women. If another man talks shit to you in a bar....insults you....disparages you....wounds your pride....gets in your face...... you'll spend one night in jail, and get released the next day on your own recognizance, while the other guy is going to get called an ASSHOLE for provoking you to point-break. Let that person be a woman, mind you, and now you're in for a world of hurt. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Let that agent provocateur possess tits and a vagina, and you'll NEVER drop the stigma of being a SCUMBAG. Ain't it funny how the world works. Have those two X chromosomes, and you've got a God-given right to exercise your tongue with impunity, to regions that men won't even go with other guys without the threat of imminent hostility.

candystripper -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 5:31:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreSwank I'm sure that most of the grown folks on this site have had the singularly objectionable experience of witnessing a phenomenon that squeaky-clean American lingo refers to as DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (aka: wife beatin', woman slappin'). We're all familiar with that banal song and dance routine.........yes? Well, the script goes something like this: woman runs out of the house in tears, calls her sister/mother/female friend on the cell-phone, and VOILA - all the neighbors are throwing bags of Jiffy-Pop in the microwave, and watching the season's best entertainment through their bedroom window, as Mr. Badman gets led to the police-car in handcuffs. Oh.........what a horrible, depraved individual Mr. Badman is perceived to be by the neighborhood peanut gallery and the local police station. Only scumbags beat on their wives and girlfriends, right? Later on Janie goes to counseling, where Mrs. Lifetime (Television for Women) chants the universal "abused woman" mantra..................It's not your fault, Janie, no matter how he might have been provoked. No one has the right to hit you, and Mr. Badman is going to jail for a long time. There it is, folks. Everyone thinks that Janie is some kind of victimized martyr, and Mr. Badman....... well.........that newly shunned pariah won't see the light of day for a couple years. But what if.......just what if..........things were a little different from the vogue-ish Lifetime perspective? What if the case in question was similar to one that your beloved Author Constant had witnessed himself. Let's look at a different script, where the role of housewife will be played by Jennifer Kudrow, and that of the husband by Brad Pitt. Wife to Husband: You know, my dad always told me that you were a piece of shit, just like your white trash family. Husband to Wife: Please don't talk about my family like that, babe. I don't want to lose my temper with you. Wife to Husband: Lose your temper? What...are you going to hit ME?? Huh...........is that what you want to fucking do? YOU, and your trash-bin whore of a mother can go to hell. *SLAP Oh no.......now I'm a just a ingenuous girl, running out of the house in tears and telling the police how you gave me this black eye. You're trying to relate the incident to Buford T. Justice from YOUR perspective, but NOBODY'S listening , because you hit a woman, and you're BAD. Nobody's supposed to hit women. If another man talks shit to you in a bar....insults you....disparages you....wounds your pride....gets in your face...... you'll spend one night in jail, and get released the next day on your own recognizance, while the other guy is going to get called an ASSHOLE for provoking you to point-break. Let that person be a woman, mind you, and now you're in for a world of hurt. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Let that agent provocateur possess tits and a vagina, and you'll NEVER drop the stigma of being a SCUMBAG. Ain't it funny how the world works. Have those two X chromosomes, and you've got a God-given right to exercise your tongue with impunity, to regions that men won't even go with other guys without the threat of imminent hostility. Main Entry:1clap£trap Pronunciation:klap-trap Function:noun Etymology:2clap; from its attempt to win applause Date:1799 : pretentious nonsense : TRASH Merriam-Webster's 11th Collegiate Dictionary Honest to Pete, this attitude seems circa 1700, not 2006. Abuse of A/anyone in Y/your home, residing under Y/your roof, is not the equivalent of an attack on a stranger, for a whole plethora of reasons. Generally speaking, Men are bigger and stronger than women, and M/most P/pl find "picking on someone littlier than Y/yourself" despicable even in children. Women s'times abuse Men in domestic situations. They s'times kill Them. They generally do much harder time than Men who commit the same offense with a female victim. A survivor of battery/domestic violence is a hero or heroine, and deserves to be given a platform from which to speak, so as to perhaps inspire O/others in similar situations to leave. i could go on, but i guess my point is, reasonable P/pl can disagree. candystripper

Lashra -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 5:38:14 AM)
Domestic violence is a horrible thing and sometimes it is unprovoked because the person doing the hitting is just a nutjob. My Mother's first husband was an alcoholic and a woman beater. He would beat his own Mother, he beat his sisters until they got married. He broke my Mother's jaw, he raped her in front of my half brother on several occasions. He told my Mother as her Husband he had the RIGHT to treat her anyway that he wanted and she HAD to take it. The strange thing about this guy was he would never start a fight with another man. In fact if another guy in a bar tried to fight with him, he'd haul ass out of the bar. I'm not going to make this a long story but the horror for my Mom ended when she'd had enough and during one vicious beating she pulled a knife on him and stabbed him in the shoulder. He then proceeded to beat her unconcious then he went to the police to file a complaint against her. When the cops got to the house they found her beaten and bloodied with a broken jaw. This guy had a long history of violence against women so yes my Mother got off with self defense because that is what it was and he ended up doing a community service with a promise to see professional help which he never did. My brother who was very young at the time was an eye witness to all of this. Many men all over the world are also victims of domestic violence and most of them will not prosecute their abusers. I feel that they SHOULD. I do not think anyone has the right to beat on anyone. So as a person who has had a close relative live thru this horror I cannot feel sorry for someone who takes out their anger by beating, or slapping another person. If you've got anger issues or some other kind of psychological issues seek professional help. Beating someone else isn't going to help you its just going to land you into legal hot water or a grave. ~Lashra

TreSwank -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 6:01:17 AM)
I think that domestic violence needs to be viewed more on a case-by-case basis, rather than the immediate assumption being: THIS WIFE-ABUSING RUFFIAN IS A DOWNRIGHT MISCREANT!!!! TO JAIL WE GO, SCUMBAG!!!! It's hard to believe that candystripper used the defense that "women aren't as strong as men." Does this mean that physically frail men should be given trash-talking rights with full impunity, because they lack the girth and stature of muscle-bound dudes? Of course, common sense would lead one to the conclusion that ALL women don't provoke their attacks.......but I'll bet that enough gals egg on their men to commit these acts to cause a change in the way that society views the domestic violence monster.

meatcleaver -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 6:01:21 AM)
I've never hit a woman but I've had the privilege of sitting and listening to a lying two-faced bitch spit poison rather than be honest and apologise. I never thought she was capable of it which accentuated the experience. It was an eye opener because I know a lot of men would have cracked at the experience and lashed out because boy, she knew how to press buttons. Which reminds me of a friend's first wife, she would bait and humiliate him in public and acted as though she wanted him to violently react. The less he reacted the worse she got. He often said if he ever reacted he wouldn't be able to stop himself until she stopped breathing. In the end he left with the kids and she spent months begging him to return. Fucking nuts. Thinking about it, I'm glad I'm single.

Nikolette -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 6:25:13 AM)
Read... Why Does He Do That, by Lundy Bancroft Get a little bit of enlightenment. Often times a woman can "bait" a man because he already beats her and she compulsively needs to breakt the tension since its long been established. Additionally a certain type of abusive guy labled the "water torturer" can make a woman seem totally insane very very subtly and loves to do it in public. Read more, go to a batters group, do some peer counseling (after getting training) to help survivors. Then post a message publicly, being light hearted, witty, or close minded. I dare you. My dear beloved grandmother lived to 90. Her best, most accurate piece of advice to me has been "You really never know someone or what they are like until you live with them every day." So if you are assuming you know about domestic violence from your outward observations, you are simply foolish and near sighted. Best of luck to you. I bet you'll need it. NO ONE EVER DESERVES TO BE HIT. NO ONE, NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO, DESERVES VIOLENCE. (non consensually speaking) Please know that. And if any ladies or gentlemen are reading this and need to talk, IM me on the other side. I can help, and I can give you local resources who can. YOU ARE WORTH YOUR OWN SAFETY.

onlythewindknows -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 6:51:59 AM)
Believe it or not, a lot of domestic violence advocates don't even believe the women who claim victimhood - and assume they are a bunch of whiny losers who will go back to mr. badman at the drop of a hat. (unfortunately, the second part tends to be true.) It actually is VERY difficult to prove DV in the courts, especially if there are no broken bones or black eyes. We actually are reaching a point where a lot of people in the system assume the woman is full of s**t. On another point, size does not have anything to do with it. a large person can be the victim of a small one if the smaller person contantly pulls "sucker punches" and uses other offensive physical and psychological tactics. There are a lot of "myths" out there and it is difficult to navigate it. Anyone who is in a DV situation should journal - that way there is something tangible to refer back to that documents ongoing and prevelant abuse.

candystripper -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 7:44:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreSwank I think that domestic violence needs to be viewed more on a case-by-case basis, rather than the immediate assumption being: THIS WIFE-ABUSING RUFFIAN IS A DOWNRIGHT MISCREANT!!!! TO JAIL WE GO, SCUMBAG!!!! It's hard to believe that candystripper used the defense that "women aren't as strong as men." Does this mean that physically frail men should be given trash-talking rights with full impunity, because they lack the girth and stature of muscle-bound dudes? Of course, common sense would lead one to the conclusion that ALL women don't provoke their attacks.......but I'll bet that enough gals egg on their men to commit these acts to cause a change in the way that society views the domestic violence monster. Quote me more precisely, please. What i actually said was generally speaking, Men are bigger and stronger than women. i also spoke on the subject of abused Men. Now i ended by saying reasonable people can disagree. Evidentially, You feel W/we must agree with Y/you or be declared nitwits. So as of now i'm done with this thread. candystripper

slavegirl1969 -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 8:22:46 AM)
I would have to say, of course there are some women who provoke their partners to lose control of themselves, there are some women who are addicted to the drama and attention that claiming to be battered gives them. Some women are just vindictive and vicious with their words and actions...But do they deserve to be hit - No and vice versa for men. Some men use their words to make a woman lose control, she hits him and then (a) either that gives him an excuse to batter the crap out of her (tit for tat) or gives him an excuse to get away from the situation. These things do go on. I don't know how it works in the US but certainly where I am DV is always taken on a case by case scenario. We have a policy (certainly in my force area) that means if we turn up at a DV incident and one of those involved has physical injuries (whether it be the woman or the man) we don't need the victim to make a statement we can take that decision from them. This means that if a man has been abused and has injuries we make the decision to arrest, taking the pressure of making a complaint from them. It was introduced to cut down on the female victims who were too scared of their partners to make complaints and to support male victims by taking the "shame" of admitting they've been battered by a woman out of their hands. What is a sad state of affairs is that the long-term victims of DV, those who only have to look the wrong way to be "taught a lesson", those who don't have the dinner on the table promptly and have to "shown the error of their ways" are those that sadly do not contact the police as they should. They don't through fear. Pure and simple, and the reality of it is is that the majority of these victims are women. With all due respect TreSwank I think that maybe you should spend some time with victims and/or abusers to get an informed view of DV rather than just getting your information from tabloid newspapers and shock-mongering news reports

mistoferin -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 8:27:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreSwank Wife to Husband: You know, my dad always told me that you were a piece of shit, just like your white trash family. Husband to Wife: Please don't talk about my family like that, babe. I don't want to lose my temper with you. Wife to Husband: Lose your temper? What...are you going to hit ME?? Huh...........is that what you want to fucking do? YOU, and your trash-bin whore of a mother can go to hell. *SLAP Tre, Most people learn very early in childhood that name calling is not justification for physical retribution. It is those who have a limited development of coping skills who do so. You say that Domestic Violence laws are biased and cater to women. That might be because 2/3 to 3/4s of all incidents of Domestic Violence are against women....and of those incidents, half or greater of them will result in injury as opposed to less than 1/3 of the incidents of female to male. You also made a statement that abusers will not see the light of day for a couple of years...or a really long time. That just is not accurate. Most Domestic Violence calls don't result in arrest. Most states have now adopted laws that take the involved couple right out of the equation and decisions to arrest are made based upon the physical evidence. Of those that do result in arrest, most perpetrators (provided the injuries are not serious or life-threatening) are released on bail as soon as they are arraigned. If it is their first offense....and sometimes second or third.....they will most likely receive a sentence that requires them to attend Anger Management courses or seek therapy. They may also receive a suspended sentence that is only enacted if they re-offend. In more rare instances they may receive a light jail term of up to 90 days. It is only in the more serious of cases that we see lengthy terms of imprisonment. It's not an abused woman's mantra to say that no one has the right to hit you.....it REALITY. No one DOES have the RIGHT to hit you.

TreSwank -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 9:25:55 AM)
I think that Brad Pit was a good choice in the portrayal of the "abuser", but Lisa Kudrow just doesn't possess the va-voom to pull off a mouthy-bitch role. Guess it'll have to be Brangelina after all. During an incident in my own life that solidified Yours Truly's opinion on the issue of domestic violence, I experienced the kind of nefarious feminine wiles that can cause such miscarriages of justice as "provoked" domestic violence charges. At the tender age of fourteen, my relationship with my grandmother (who was raising me with my grandpa) was strained and antagonistic as they come. Now, my grandmother was a firm apologist of the "spare the rod and spoil the child" philosophy, and took it to new heights and extremes. I DESPISED her for putting her hands on me, and one day, while she had a belt or paddle, or whatever in the ready position, I shoved her to the ground, and told her in no uncertain terms that I'd put her face in the concrete if she ever tried to punish me that way again. Half an hour later, imagine my shock when the ever-vigilant Davidson County, NC police arrived to put me in handcuffs, and my grandmother stood in our front yard, with SELF-INDUCED SCRATCH MARKS on her arm, and ANOTHER SELF-INDUCED BRUISE above her left breast that she claimed came from a blow that I had "supposedly" delivered (I wish I had, though). Of course, these fucking shiny-badged bastards were ready to take the word of a matronly, well-dressed woman with a charming Southern accent and crocodile tears in her eyes rather than a jaded kid who was tired of having the shit beat out him every time he breathed the wrong fucking way. They handcuffed me right there in the front yard, and stuck me in the back of a police cruiser, remarking to each other, "So THIS, is what a future wifebeater looks like." For months, I had to live in a group home, with intensive "counseling", after the false accusations were brought up.....and worse yet, the old cunt never apologized or even acknowledged what she had done. Oh, I know all about women's little tricks of the trade.

mistoferin -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 10:05:57 AM)
You shoved your Grandmother to the ground? I am not going to say that I think that her behavior was appropriate....but one person's bad behavior does not justify another's. I'm sorry that the message that you took from the experience is "nefarious feminine wiles can cause such miscarriages of justice". The lesson that would have served you better to learn is that two wrongs don't make a right and that you are as responsible as the next person to keep yourself in check.

TreSwank -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 10:21:51 AM)
To borrow one of those trite "Lifetime" terms, I felt victimized, because she would make up some really WEIRD punishments, and they were dished out often. I'm glad that I did something to let her know that her pissy temper and sadistic "Flowers in the Attic" bullshit needed to be put to an end. Negative physical contact was the only solution that could possibly reach this women, whose mind was always in that narcissistic, one-dimensional "ME" space. My only regret is that she didn't break anything on the fall. It would have made me happy to know that she was hurting, and felt powerless like I did. I wish I could have hit her, because maybe it would been like an exorcism. Each blow of my fist could have been like a ritual ablution, washing away her antagonistic, Salem's Lot of a personality. She needed to have the bones in her face moved around a bit, but I never gave her what she needed. I could have told her, "And now, you get your own medicine." Perhaps I should have hit her, because at that age, I could have got away with it without "too serious" consequences. Yeah......I could have made her tell me how much she enjoyed getting punched in the face, or face even more and harder blows. Sorry guys.......just thinking about that evil fucking woman just puts the fucking hellfire in me.

Arpig -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 10:34:07 AM)
Mist...he was 14 at the time! What happened to preventing child abuse? I agree with Tre that the laws are baised, I know this to be true. In Ontario, if a woman makes a claim to have been hit by a male partner (even with no physical evidence) the policy is to immediatly arrest said male partner and to lay assault charges. For this to happen all that is needed is for a woman to claim to have been hit. There is no need for any evidence or for the claim to be made in a timely fashion. However, reverse the situation and it is a different story. If a man claims to have been hit bu a female partner, then he must provide evidence in the form of bruises/cuts and a witness or two, otherwise he is told to stop wasting the police's time. Hell all a woman has to do is tell the police she is afraid, and the man will be removed from his home. That's it. No evidence, no actual hitting, just simply that she is afraid. This is not the way the law is written, but this is the reality of how the law is enforced. Granted, once the case gets to court, it is thrown out if it is baseless, but the accused has been arrested, has a record, and has likely been served with a restraining order that prohibits him from even approaching his home, forcing him to set up a 2nd home, while requiring him to continue paying whatever he previously paid at his original home, and often times he is required to pay support as well. When the case is thrown out, the man has no recourse, as false arrest & such laws do not apply in cases where a claim of domestic violence has been made. This is the reality of the situation. This does not condone violence, nor do I, however, it serves no useful purpose to pretend the situation is otherwise. In an attempt to respond to public (mostly media) pressure, the laws have become a nightmare for any man wrongly accused of Domestic Violence. There needs to be some balance, some form of redress available to the man who has been branded a monster and thrown out of his home, etc. (and it happens, I know of several friends to whom it happened, in one case the supposed assault took place in front of my wife and I, and the police still had to arrest & jail him, despite our repeated assurances that the assault never happened, in fact we were told to just shut up as it didn't matter if the assault was real or not, the accusation was made, so the arrest must be made as well). Getting mad at Tre for stating a fact does not make it not a fact. The domestic violence laws are such that it is very easy for a woman to have a man arrested and charged when nothing actually happened. This is wrong. This is as wrong as the violence which the laws were enacted to stop. Simply put the law is a bad law, and needs to be rewritten. There needs to be some burden of proof/evidence before criminal charges are laid, and in this particular instance, the burden has been lowered to "She said so". And the law will protect her if it turns out she lied.

TreSwank -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 10:38:50 AM)
Bravo, Arpig. Well done!!

MistressSophia -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 10:42:52 AM)
Poster boy for battered MEN, I loved your stories. Maybe you could point out. Where the female raised her hands? Women fight with their minds. ok at times with their mouth. "men" fight with their hands.. There's your big difference between jail and no jail. And by the way only cowards hit women or children!

TreSwank -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 10:54:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSophia Poster boy for battered MEN, I loved your stories. Maybe you could point out. Where the female raised her hands? Women fight with their minds. ok at times with their mouth. "men" fight with their hands.. There's your big difference between jail and no jail. And by the way only cowards hit women or children! Let me rephrase that.......only cowards hit children. A women possesses the same sort of vicious propensities as a man, but it does, in most instances, express itself differently between the genders. Now.....a women who walks into an argument with the intent of provoking and pouring gasoline on the fire, should expect that only so much is needed to set off that primitive "Fight or Flight" adrenaline reaction in men. Don't tell me that you want equality and the pedestal at the same time. If you taunt a rattlesnake enough times, there are probably going to be dire consequences. The typical female response might be "Why do we have to resort to violence?" My response would be "Why do you have to resort to cattiness, jabs at a man's self-esteem, and cheap mouthy baiting- techniques?"

MistressSophia -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 11:05:28 AM)
SO HER REWARDS .FOR RAISING YOU .KEEPING YOU OFF THE STREETS AND A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD AND YOUR BELLY FULL .WAS A HOT TEMPERED PUNK.. SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT YOU WERE A WELL RESPECTABLE YOUNG MAN .AND SHE JUST GOT HER KICKS OUT OF BEATING YOU.. IS THIS RIGH?. BECAUSE I HAVE TO TELL YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHAT AGE YOU ARE. BUT I CAN ONLY THINK OF THE BAD MANNERS AND DISRESPECT YOU MUST OF SHOWN HER. FOR TAKING CARE OF YOU. EVER THINK MAYBE SHE WANTED YOU TO BECOME A GOOD MAN.. WHICH I HAVE TO TELL YOU I DON'T SEE IN YOU WRITTING. AND IF ANYONE NEEDS TO APLOGIZE IT'S YOU. SHE DIDN'T BEAT YOU LONG ENOUGH OR HARD ENOUGH. I FIND YOU A BIT UNGREATEFUL.AND VERY DISRESPECTFUL..BUT BE GLAD I DIDN'T RAISE YOU. BECAUSE HAD YOPU RAISED YOUR HANDS TO ME . YOU WOULD OF HAD NO HANDS TO SPEAK OF. THAT ISN'T ANYTHING MORE THEN BEING TIRED OF PUTTING UP WITH A PUNK!!

TreSwank -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 11:07:24 AM)
I think she kinda likes me. Here we have an example of unchecked feminine invective and baiting. If you had raised me, I think I would have hopped a train or checked myself into an orphanage well before the age of 14. I mean....I dig your nails and everything, but you're kinda MEAN!!!! Did your children cower in fear every time you walked into the room?

onlythewindknows -> RE: A Tale of Mr. Badman (Domestic Violence Rhumba) (11/14/2006 11:16:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig Getting mad at Tre for stating a fact does not make it not a fact. The domestic violence laws are such that it is very easy for a woman to have a man arrested and charged when nothing actually happened. This is wrong. This is as wrong as the violence which the laws were enacted to stop. Simply put the law is a bad law, and needs to be rewritten. There needs to be some burden of proof/evidence before criminal charges are laid, and in this particular instance, the burden has been lowered to "She said so". And the law will protect her if it turns out she lied. i must emphasise, it is also VERY HARD to convict someone whose violence is sneaky, leaves no marks. i know that men are likely to side with the "arrestee as victim" side of this, but understand - it may be easy to get someone thrown in jail for a few days, but actually getting a very abusive person in jail for a long time who ought to be in jail can be very very difficult. which is awful for everyone.

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