RE: Communication Advice. (Full Version)

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WorldofSilence -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/16/2006 9:06:41 AM)

Hiya.

I wanted to thank everybody who has replied to My post, and My delay in replying has been work based which I won't go into *chuckles*

I have read every post and I will do what I can to include/reply to them, as there are so many I want to digest everything and ponder on alot of it.

Jali thank you for replying and everything you said I could relate to.

Eric thank you also for replying, it was refreshing to read and while I'm quite confident it's nice to know I'm not alone, I still human at the end of the day.
Everything you said has been really interesting and I can relate to it, but I do have to ask if it's not too personal? How do you go about using a safe word? I have in My mind a simple sign that is noticed, because like you and I'm sure you understand this, we are very observent to our surroundings and most body movements from the person we are looking at.

Also I don't know if you've been exposed to overly negitive people Eric saying that people like us shouldn't be in this lifestyle? If you have what would you do as a witty comeback or wouldn't you bother? I personally ignore them but once in a while might be handy to have a biting comment back ;)

Thanks again.
WoS

windchymes

I think the colouring is slighty brown due to his age, because as we know younglings of various animals grow into there "famous" colours.
It's good of you to want to learn the language, I think it's only fair I'm still learning english in some respects as I'm not aware (cos I can't hear it) of subtle tones of voice, maybe a flirting voice (apperently people have flirted with Me in the past) but because there body language is so static I can't pick up on it. If things go well I'm looking forward to teaching/showing My world of noverbal communication, I still talk yes and I would hope they understand things which are just very difficult or impossable for Me to do.

I laughed so hard with the shouting out your frustrations behind My back, I do wear hearing aids mind, so if in a quiet room I "hear" something I might not understand it, but I'd think well where else could that sound come from.. ;)

I wear My hearing aids alot due to My tinnitus, but don't think Hearing Aids = Hearing, I hear mostly distorations but they have there purpose and they have purple ear molds so I'm happy with them :)

Thanks

WoS

MmakeMme

Thank you for your comment, I have to say I think thats one aspect of Myself which is appelaing, I'm very lucky to have such a beautiful girl interested in Me. She has a fine mind (which I find attractive) a wonderful sense of humour, and a passion to better herself and grow, so yeah I'm lucky to know her and she is lucky to know Me ;)

WoS

MaamJay

Cheers for the encouraging words and I enjoyed reading what you wrote. I'm looking forward to the communications we will share and her learning of Me and I of her.

WoS

Thanks to everyone who posted and if My replies seem short it is not out of disrespect, as every words has been read, and thank E/everyone for the well wishes, I'm hoping it goes well I won't lie.
One step at a time and I'm looking forward to the journey I shall share with her.

Cheers

WoS



darksdesire -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/16/2006 9:48:26 AM)

World:

something tells me you are a wonderful Dom, and the girl you choose will be very lucky indeed.  i have been very impressed by your ability to seek, and then take in, the various opinions and thoughts of others;  this ability communicates confidence, humility, and openness, qualities that i believe contribute to being a responsible Dom.

Next to that, the hearing issue is a minor one.  What i mean is that while your hearing loss may be a challenge, it is certainly not insurmountable. (Being an arrogant, close minded, insecure Dom would be insurmountable!)  My experience is that challenges, faced together, can make for a  very tight, strong relationship.

i am wishing you all the luck with this new girl!  i'd love to hear how things progress.     



WorldofSilence -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/16/2006 10:22:57 AM)

darkdesire

Thank you for your kind words and I'm glad I inspire such thoughts.

I always thought it was common sense to try and keep an open mind to opinions and ideas, it makes sense to Me how else are W/we all suppose to grow and better ourselfs and which leads to a more fullfilling and long lasting relationship?

Thank you for your well wishes, it's no race as I am looking forward to chatting and learning about her as she will learn about Me, I cannot predict the future and I would be lying if I didn't say I had some hopes. But no race no rush, enjoying our emails and messages, I like her alot so every step is pleasurable and I look forward to seeing where O/our journey may take us.

WoS



slavejali -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/16/2006 6:41:40 PM)

hi again...

Master will probably reply after work...I showed him. He did say something mean about people saying stuff like that to you, but he probably won't put that in his response lol. Actually his first response was, I would tell them to "fuck off" hehe...Well I hope you see this before he sees it and tells me to delete it *grin*



mnottertail -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/16/2006 6:54:26 PM)

I think that deaf and hearing is not so different, so many people hearing, truely listen anyway.......

I do agree with Jali, that you have to watch your back or your slave can bitch at you..........and you will have to discern that

but, it is kinda fun isn't it, so many subs want sensory deprivation and then would pause at real situations, as a yoot (that is for a kind girl, in my youth) I lived with a guy when I went to school who was deaf and what I didn't  like about it was he slammed the cupoard doors and .............

But what a wonderful man you will make for some woman,  to teach her to appreciate senses (and for those of you who think I am heading to the prick zone, hearing is very overrated) and I guess that is what this is about, senses..........

Those of you who look to sense life, will  be admonished to look at what you got,  if it ain't about my cock (and truthfully, I can't see how it cannot be) then it must be about the big melon in your head......

you think ...........

I am not going to bother with this further.

WorldofSilence...............it is what everyone is praying for.

Your freind,
Ron 



WorldofSilence -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 5:19:44 AM)

Hiya slavejali

Thank you for the update in regards to your Master, I must admit I like him alot due to his honesty and I respect that.

So message recieved if the message gets deleted *chuckles*

Hiya mnottertail (Interesting name, no idea how to say it *chuckles* )

I think you have hit on something very true there, I've often been told I'm a good listener (kindda ironic) due to the fact that the person who speaks to Me knows they have 100% of My attention as that is what it takes from Me to understand what a person is saying.

Ahh the whole door slamming thing, yes I've been told I'm simliar.
I'm very noisey apperently *grins*, I take more effort to be quiet if I visit My grandmother, as she doesn't like loud sudden noises so then I try to take extra effort to be quiet with doors etc..  When I was younger I was told I sound like a herd of elephants when I'm on stage (used to do some stage stuff) so you bought back a nice little memory there so thank you.

Thank you for the compilment, I hope she will feel the same.

Thats part of the plan to make her hopefully apperiate senses more, while I have no wish or desire to become hearing Myself, as I am quite comfortable with Myself, while some might view it as a weakness I see it as a strength, I have noticed things of beauty within citys or countrysides, because I'm much more aware of My surroundings, I've pointed out sculptures etc.. to friends who have lived in an area for years much to there surprise.

I however cannot comment on hearing being over rated, never lived in that world and would be crass of Me to presume I know anything about it.

Thanks for the message.

WoS



mnottertail -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 5:49:42 AM)

I live near Otter Tail, Minnesota in the US.  Nothing fancy about it. It is not meant to be pronounced, just silently intoned with awe...............


LOL,
Ron
Good on ya' cobber!!!!!



windchymes -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 6:23:26 AM)

WoS, you are truly a gem, and I sincerely wish that you find your love, and that she makes you as happy as you certainly deserve to be!



WorldofSilence -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 6:55:18 AM)

windchymes thank you for your comment, thats very sweet of you and if things work out I'm sure she will.

I wish you success and happyness as well.



JalisMaster -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 1:27:01 PM)

Interesting question re safe words.  Technically, relying on a safe word with a deaf Master/Mistress isn't safe ..heh. I do rely on verbal communication. I talk and listen  relentlessly about desires, experiences , expectations, fantasies. I also rely heavily on partners physical responses.. bodies don't lie.. (words do) . Also, proceeding with caution . I understand implicitly that the activities we engage in can be harmful/dangerous... and I know that accidents happen.. however I have complete confidence in my abilities and would never in any way compromise my partner. I can say.. I "know" what they can take..with almost certainty. I also observe constantly( loved the part about pointing out sculptures etc to people that walk blindly around their own neighborhood) it is a fact that your "other" senses develope to a much greater extent when any other sense is missing. Yes scenarios "could" arise ..like.. having your sub/slave bound in a loud club atmosphere where you have removed their ability to communicate physically and verbally..you might even get caught up in that atmosphere and then it gets dangerous.. heres my take on that... it would never happen. I would never engage in anything along those parameters.take away the loud atmosphere ...yes I can bind my partner.. and they're still technically in that scenario hey?.. I again rely on powers of observation and knowledge of past experiences with that partner and proceed with caution..self control  .
On the comeback ..lol.. do you really care what some other person thinks?[;)] my initial thought was as jali relayed.. fuck off .. [:)]
however I wouldn't verbalize it . perhaps totally ignoring them to the point that they get frustrated with their own inability to communicate what they percieve is important, to the point they start getting redfaced , blood pressure rising and maybe even spittle forming at the corners of their mouths.. that'd be a great time to come back with a calmly spoken.. wow..maybe you should see a therapist for that lack of self control issue you're displaying..after all... it IS paramount in this lifestyle [:)]



mnottertail -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 1:43:33 PM)

Isn't this wonderful?   It is proof of life, that no one is truely alone in this world........
except when you cum and when you die..........
(hmmmmm......but there's a couple of you out there, and you know who the fuck you are...........)

And this is also proof that safewords can be spoken perhaps more easily in body language than any other form, for those who listen--- and real and insightful thoughts about why you might not just beat the living piss outta anyone on your first meet, whether they want it or not.

LOL,
Ron



LaTigresse -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 2:01:08 PM)

WoS, what a beautiful thread!

I find it rather sad that anyone would NOT be interested in someone based upon lack of hearing, either dominant or sub/slave.
 I know it would not be high on my list of things to worry about. I was interested in a woman that was french/american and was more comfortable speaking french. I had every intention in becoming fluent in french. Why not? To be honest I was looking forward to it. Something that would bring us closer together.





Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 3:37:35 PM)

Personally, i think its erotic.
but im a sick fuck.
Im intellegent enough to know, that deafness, doesnt = stupid. Some people may not be, but who gives a shit about them?
Beware that natural instinct to withdraw in a group setting. Stay with it, but concentrate on one speaker.
Teaching your future sub sign language would be excellent.  I started BSL, but lost patience, and turned to Makaton, which was going to be more useful with the clients i had at the time, where gross motor skills were the only ones available, it was easy. I can swear like a trouper in both now. Signing interpreters earn shit loads where i live. So it'd be a excellent career move too.
So the puppy is a skunk, have you considered this is why youve been waiting 8 yrs? lol
How important is it to me, to be able to phone or be phoned by my Dom? it isnt. We see each other, phone contact is not therefor important. SMS is though. Im visually impared, which i know, has enhanced other senses, im sure your deafness is likewise. Use your other strengths.
I watch people too closely too. It un nerves some people. So?
One things for sure, if face to face is your way of overcoming the deaf part, then sat behind a computer is sure to keep you single. Get out, get a life, get a sub. Join a munch, explain to the group your deaf, not stupid and can lip read even whispers! Use your deafness in your approach as a asset. So often, what comes out of the gob, is at odds to the behaviour anyway, id trust the body language every time i see a discrepancy, its rarely wrong.
Every person will come with attributes and defecits in their character. deafness, is neither a deficit or a benefit in who a person is. Good luck.
littleone



WorldofSilence -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 6:11:25 PM)

Hello.

Some nice replies here, so I shall do what I can to reply :)

JalisMaster
I'm glad you have confirmed what I thought I'm quite happy with My abilty to notice things, and I know in Myself that I would be aware if things became "dangerous" I wouldn't put Myself in a situation that meant I didn't always have an eye on a sub.
(Glad you liked my refernce on observering things, that people blindly walk by)

I like your direct approach it's refreshing and fun to read, I tend to ignore the narrow minded people and then shock them in ways that I tend to have a more extensive vocabulary, and I can be quite "dry" in My replies, so it's good to see someone else like this.

It's also encouraging in the fact that I know quite a large deaf community from My place of work and when I used to socialise with them, and from what I gathered I'm the only one that I'm aware of who had a keen interest in BDSM (this is back when I was in My late teens) and to this day, I haven't met another simliar to Me. So it's an honour for Me, so as us Bristolians would say "Thanks Me old mucker"! ;)  and hope we can exchange more messages in future? As I think I have mentioned I don't walk around with a world of experince but plenty of ideas and an always keen sense to learn more.

WoS

mnottertail

It is rather wonderful isn't it *grins* Deep down I knew they had to be someone like Me, and it's a relief to know. As mentioned above locally and I'm quite blunt in when I want to find things out, not rude but blunt. I know I can come across as "rude" at times but it's not My intention I tend to translate sign into spoken english and vice versa, and you'd be surprised signing is pretty blunt and that comes through My speech.

Thanks for your reply.

WoS

LaTigeresse (love the name)

I'm glad your enjoying the thread *grins* I would hope this is going to become a good habit of Mine when I'm curious about something, and the good replies I've had are encouraging, I'm sure one day I might spark off some huge flame war, but that'll be an experince I suppose W/we all have to go through *grins*

Again it's good to see such open minded people!

WoS

Sirandlittle1

I'm glad to see your open minded as well and have learnt something so many struggle with, yes I'm deaf and no I'm not stupid, silly at times yes but not stupid *winks*

The times I withdraw from a group is when I'm mentally knackered and My tinnitus is playing the 7 bells of hell through My head without stop, everyone I know is told of this and they all know that I need some space and time to regain My mental strengh, I multi task to an insane level when I speak as it's far from second nature to Me, so thankfully I have understanding friends. People I don't know can be a bit probmatic and I can only tell them soo many times before they begin to annoy Me, and I'm not a fan of negitive thoughts.

The skunk had been "de-skunked" (cute expression) but rest assured I haven't carried him around in My pocket for all these years *laughs*

Now.. "get a life" I won't lie that comment irks Me, if I could draw your attention to the amount of posts I've made.. I don't think it equals the 8 years, I'm sure thats a harmless expression but you have to see, I did the whole "Go out, get a life etc etc" .. it didn't work out for Me too many "stupid" people I'm afraid, this is why I am on here, it's another avenue to explore and I have been lucky to be having communication with a girl I'm quite fond of, it's early days but I take My days one at a time when it's this soon.

However I am speaking to a local munch via emails etc.. because I tire of the typical introductions I get to the group, and while I have no problem telling people about My deafness I would much rather got it out there and so that they know, I once was with a group and I spent pretty much the first 8-10 meetings continious repeating Myself.

I'll find a way I'm rather Obdurate, so I'll find a path.

you never know perhaps I do have that skunk lurking somewhere, I'm perfectly accepting to the fact it might be a personitly thing I give off, I don't know .. yet.

WoS


Thanks E/everyone for the replies and thanks to JalisMaster for giving Me some peace of mind, I like you mate ;)

Ark at ee me luvver.. (Bristol people are funny to lipread at times)



MagiksSlave -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/17/2006 7:31:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WorldofSilence

Hello E/everyone

I'm a Deaf Dom, I need to let that be known so this thread makes sense.

I'm beginning to feel that maybe the barrier I present to a potential sub in contacting me is limited because I can only give a very limited form of communication ie: Email/Pm messages, face to face.

So the question really being just how important is this knowing you can just pick up the phone and talk to your Dom/sub, having that instant communication.

I won't lie I have been looking for some time roughly 8 years, so it's either an image/personitly thing that puts them off, I try not to ever use My deafness as an excuse but I think My question is valid, as I have specfic communicational needs so again is that off putting.

Just trying to keep an open mind and putting it out to the community thank you everyO/one who replies.

WoS



My best friend from high school was deaf and she taught me something that I will never forget, just because she couldnt hear me didnt mean she wasnt listening!!!

You dont need to be able to hear the girl to be able to communicate and listen to her... The only thing I could see as beeing a problem would be phone time I mean they do have that relay systom that lets you call through an operator but haveing a thrid party listening and translateing a BDSM call isnt ideal. I used to use that oporator systom all the time I used to help my firend use it to call home to her mom. Because her and her mom where both deaf someone els needed to call for her when she needed a ride home (plus the school didnt have a relay maschine that she could use on our side anyway) I did it all the time hated it because the oporator was so often rude!!

Magik's slave



WorldofSilence -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/18/2006 6:18:35 AM)

Hiya MagiksSlave

Hiya yes I've heard of this, it's called TypeTalk, it's a 3 way conversation one person is normally on a minicom to a hearing person or vice versa, there is currently something called ScreenPhone (off the top of My head) which is simliar but the operator doesn't say anything, as the phone it designed for people who are hard of harding, and with a press of a button what the other person, says on the other side pops up on the screen in front of you, it's rather nifty I haven't yet checked it out.

Thanks for your message, and I am glad your deaf friend had someone like yout o help them.

WoS



Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/18/2006 2:31:38 PM)

Hiya WorldofSilence.
Get a life. Yep, that does sound a bit irksome, my bad, i apologise.
And i add, that getting a life, is a day in, day out need for us all, not something 'You try once' lol.
gawd bless ya.
De-skunked, wow, vetinary practices amaze me sometimes! De claw cats, de skunk skunks?
Can someone come and de bark my Dom's fucking german shepherd?????
Ill pay anyone any amount!
lol



WorldofSilence -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/18/2006 6:18:00 PM)

Hello Sirandlittle1

Apology accepted.

Well as you stated I'm not a Vet so I'm not aware of the "proper" use or technical terms, however it's a statement most people understand, and to Me thats more then enough, I would hope your Dom's dog never gets "de-barked" I view that as animal cruelty, strangely enough a barking dog doesn't bother Me :P

WoS



AquaticSub -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/18/2006 7:04:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WorldofSilence

Hello E/everyone

I'm a Deaf Dom, I need to let that be known so this thread makes sense.

I'm beginning to feel that maybe the barrier I present to a potential sub in contacting me is limited because I can only give a very limited form of communication ie: Email/Pm messages, face to face.

So the question really being just how important is this knowing you can just pick up the phone and talk to your Dom/sub, having that instant communication.

I won't lie I have been looking for some time roughly 8 years, so it's either an image/personitly thing that puts them off, I try not to ever use My deafness as an excuse but I think My question is valid, as I have specfic communicational needs so again is that off putting.

Just trying to keep an open mind and putting it out to the community thank you everyO/one who replies.

WoS



Not just as a submissive but simply as a girlfriend, I need communication from my partner but it doesn't need to be verbal. A pet on the head, a note in my pocket, an unexpected hug... all those little things that seem so very sappy and silly are the things that are most important to me. I need to know that I am loved (call me high-maintance if you must). In a long distence relationship, I need some way to talk to my partner. I prefer phone, but I would just as happy with text or perhaps text and webcams. Or mailing each other video tapes of the one talking about their day (I assume you could read lips from the video). I get creative. *smiles*

I really hope you find someone because you sound very sweet and sincere. And anyone who likes skunks gets good marks in my book.



MadameMonique -> RE: Communication Advice. (11/18/2006 8:11:27 PM)

Wow, Ive been wathcing this thread develop and I must say it gives me the warm fuzzies!  I have nothing constuctive to add aside from reitterating the good wishes of others WoS.

And I want a de-skunked skunk !!!!!!! Im Australian and we dont have them here so I think he is really really cool and soooooo cute !



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