Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: physcial attraction


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: physcial attraction Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 5:22:36 PM   
YourShyPet


Posts: 185
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		<runs in an asks>.... I'd like to join the Big Males Lovers Club too!.... tee hee I've always been attracted to males who are 6'2" or taller who are big and burly.... I can't help it... just something about being carried around in one arm... mmmmmmmm.

kittin

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 5:37:39 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
I have wondered the same thing.  Now I know this is not a blanket statement. 
We all want what we want, but what I took out of the OPer's rant was why it appears to be
tolerated when a Dominant Male has a want for a HWP Submissive yet when the tables are
turned and the Submissive speaks her wants most often they are told to accept?
We all know the health benefits of being fit, and many of us know how hard it is to get or stay that way. 
It comes up in every thread where weight is the issue at hand. 
BUT, it is normally directed at the Submissive.
Hell . . Women even get an acronym for it, BBW. 
But we tend to handle over weight to obese Dominants with kid gloves. 
Why? 
By all rights we use the term of Master as an expert of sorts, someone with wisdom,
someone we look to for guidance and trust ourselves to in all areas. 
A Fat Dom expecting a Thin Sub screams wanker if he cant Master himself.  

Wow, it felt good to get that off my chest! 

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to YourShyPet)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 5:41:38 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		For the longest time, I was attracted to big guys.  Then, I just happened to get involved with a guy who was pretty small by my standards because the photo I saw made him look bigger.  He was wearing a suit that was too big for him and the tie he was wearing made him look heavier in the face.  In reality, he was damn near petite.  But, he still had a decent pot belly, so I was ok with it. 

The experience made me realize that my perceptions change when I go into a submissive headspace.  In my head he would become bigger.

Now, I don't worry so much about absolute size.


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


(in reply to fleshslave)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: "hypocrisy" - 4/18/2007 5:42:57 PM   
kiyari


Posts: 631
Status: offline 		TY Lady!

Lol...

spelling is the baliwick (seemingly) of the female brain,
whilest spatial perception is the special talent of the male...

I do thank thee for giving me the spelling
(heh, my bad not to have gotten it right before posting... it did not look correct to me but I was eager to post)

Regards... ~K

Genuinely... ~K

_____________________________

Black Water Dragon

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 6:10:52 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

For the longest time, I was attracted to big guys.  Then, I just happened to get involved with a guy who was pretty small by my standards because the photo I saw made him look bigger.  He was wearing a suit that was too big for him and the tie he was wearing made him look heavier in the face.  In reality, he was damn near petite.  But, he still had a decent pot belly, so I was ok with it. 

The experience made me realize that my perceptions change when I go into a submissive headspace.  In my head he would become bigger.

Now, I don't worry so much about absolute size.



I have usually been with men that were my height or smaller. Sinergy is the largest man I have ever been with. It is not a preference, it is just that the package was not as important as what is inside. There is something hot about being with a man that is larger than me, but most importantly he is very active, and by nature I am too. I love to walk, hike, and I would love to start dancing again.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 6:44:38 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I like to go horseback riding with my slaves...and a 300 lb person can neither ride in the saddle or safely run alongside the horse.


Hey now, I'm almost 200lbs and I ride horses every day and competively barrel race! Go easy on us fat horse riders :P

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to slavemaia)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 6:48:53 PM   
GeekyGirl


Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

(I notice that none of the women who responded said "but...I really like larger men...skinny/thin men don't appeal to me")




Youcan put me in that group...I prefer a man that's fit enough to walk around the zoo or such, but I have an honest preference for heavier built men. If they are thin/fit/athletic, I am generally unattracted. I want a soft cuddly tummy not rock hard abs. I generally prefer a man 30-50lbs overweight. The best dominant I have ever been with is about 100lbs overweight and OMG he's soooo sexy!

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 7:34:59 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

(I notice that none of the women who responded said "but...I really like larger men...skinny/thin men don't appeal to me")



I tend to date either really skinny guys or large men. And to whoever said this, us larger folks can ride horses. Quite well in fact. It's often used to lose weight so whoever put the idea in your head that there is weight limit for riding didn't have a clue. Nrrr... I wish I could still afford the lessons!

Anyway, in response to the OP: You can pick whatever body type you want hon. Some dominants are stupid and think they just because they offer a collar we have to accept.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/18/2007 7:45:32 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: "hypocrisy" - 4/18/2007 7:36:53 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiyari

TY Lady!

Lol...

spelling is the baliwick (seemingly) of the female brain,
whilest spatial perception is the special talent of the male...

I do thank thee for giving me the spelling
(heh, my bad not to have gotten it right before posting... it did not look correct to me but I was eager to post)

Regards... ~K

Genuinely... ~K


No problem.  I'm helpful like that, especially if it gives Me a chance to say something funny.

(in reply to kiyari)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: "hypocrisy" - 4/18/2007 8:01:22 PM   
badpaliden


Posts: 96
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		The only thing  that pops my fuse is the statement  that.... WE  Dominate males should have more control over our selfs...Like I dont ! Hell when I was in the Army  and right out of bootcamp I was still above 210.. So don't go telling me  how I don't have control of my body.. being 6'3" and above 250 and over 50. I think I've managed.. sheesh.. Its just the arrogance of the statement.. talk about painting with a broad brush!!

_____________________________

stolen from slavish..."My ESP's broken and it nullifies my mind-reading abilities. I could've gotten the extended warranty but it was three hundred bucks and it didn't seem worth it at the time."

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: "hypocrisy" - 4/18/2007 8:11:34 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Muscle weighs a lot more then fat anyway. Gemme a built man with some extra padding then a "normal" guy who can't lift anything! Course I'd owned by someone who can hurl me over his shoulder yet can't gain weight for the life of him!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to badpaliden)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 8:18:51 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Excuse me, but that is not true. I rode when I weighed 300 pounds, and no it did not damage the horse. And no there's no reason a 300 pound person can not ride. Fat does not mean you can't run either. in some cases yes, but all no.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegrea

quote:

ORIGINAL: fleshslave

...
I like to go horseback riding with my slaves...and a 300 lb person can neither ride in the saddle or safely run alongside the horse.





_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to Elegrea)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: "hypocrisy" - 4/18/2007 9:08:02 PM   
kiyari


Posts: 631
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: badpaliden

The only thing  that pops my fuse is the statement  that.... WE  Dominate males should have more control over our selfs...Like I dont ! Hell when I was in the Army  and right out of bootcamp I was still above 210.. So don't go telling me  how I don't have control of my body.. being 6'3" and above 250 and over 50. I think I've managed.. sheesh.. Its just the arrogance of the statement.. talk about painting with a broad brush!!


Well, the complaint was not that dominant fellows might have a bit of heft to 'em,
it was rather about the hypocrisy of those who...
while themselves being a bit flabby,
yet specifying that any who might seek their favour be anything but.

ya Grep?

edited to change 'flabbly' to 'flabby'... ya, anal :P ... so spank me ;)

< Message edited by kiyari -- 4/18/2007 9:11:35 PM >

_____________________________

Black Water Dragon

(in reply to badpaliden)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 10:08:50 PM   
Jevousadore


Posts: 57
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline 		Hello, fleshslave......

I have to admit that I have been amused but the same.  I think it comes from centuries past when young, nubile girls were married off to old men for political and monetary gain.  Of course, in some cultures, a thin woman is a sign that the husband is unable to provide for her.  For some reason, men from our culture have been conditioned thru movies, commercials,etc that they should be able to have a barbie no matter how they themselves look.  Think of how many commercials have balding, heavier men play the husband and a slim, preppy woman as the wife.

I have also found the politically correct use of "BBW" interesting.  Just because someone is big does not mean they are beautiful, inside or out.  And isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder?  Why don't we then use the term "TBW" for thin,beautiful woman?

But that is getting off on a tangent.  For myself, I am slim, exercise, and try to eat healthy, though I admit I love Mcdonalds cheeseburgers....:)  Some may consider it shallow, but I do prefer a man who is in shape.  It is not to say that every overweight person has health issues, but the chances increase.  If I am going to give my heart to someone, I want to know that, bar being hit by a bus or getting a disease, they are going to be around for a long time. I also want someone who can hike, mountain bike....all the things that I love.

This does not mean that if I was with someone and they gained weight I would leave them.  By then, the love and relationship is established and I see beauty when I look at that person.  But in the beginning it can be necessary for attraction.

jevousadore
 


(in reply to fleshslave)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 10:39:35 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jevousadore

... Some may consider it shallow, but I do prefer a man who is in shape.  It is not to say that every overweight person has health issues, but the chances increase.  If I am going to give my heart to someone, I want to know that, bar being hit by a bus or getting a disease, they are going to be around for a long time. I also want someone who can hike, mountain bike....all the things that I love.

This does not mean that if I was with someone and they gained weight I would leave them.  By then, the love and relationship is established and I see beauty when I look at that person.  But in the beginning it can be necessary for attraction.

jevousadore
 





I like the way this is expressed best.  Connections do transcend physique, but being able to do fun, active things with une cher amore is very important to me.

One slight difference of opinion:  I like the BBW designation, as it connotes positive, if somewhat defiant, self-image.  That's always a big plus.

A bientot!

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to Jevousadore)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 10:42:29 PM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Well I dunno, I'm attracted to the largest men. It's not that I don't miss the opportunities for hiking and activities like that, or that I don't know the health risks. It's just what I'm most naturally attracted to. I guess there's no health discussion or "able to do everything I want" angle that I can use to back this up the way that people who prefer thin or in/shape partners can use.

(in reply to OedipusRexIt)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: physcial attraction - 4/18/2007 10:52:11 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		Don't take the position that your preference must be defended, and you'll be fine.

I like chocolate, but not chocolate cake.  Now how can I defend that preference?

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to NakedGirlScout)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: physcial attraction - 4/19/2007 6:09:24 AM   
Mustardseed


Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

Excuse me, but that is not true. I rode when I weighed 300 pounds, and no it did not damage the horse. And no there's no reason a 300 pound person can not ride. Fat does not mean you can't run either. in some cases yes, but all no.


Based on what little horseback riding I did in the Scouts and the fact that once I ended up on a gigantic horse, I expect it'd be a combination of how strong (and, presumably) big the mount is, and how good the rider is at working with their own weight.



quote:

ORIGINAL: SassyMistress3

I love "Big Boys" There are just none around here,or just don't want to admit they are. I love 6'2 300lbs.


You've just described my Daddy. *fans self*

Also, I agree about Meatloaf, particularly in his longer-hair days. yeow. I also have a thing for Forest Whitaker and -- though not fat, they're pretty big -- Ron Perlman and the mythical Marv from Sin City.


quote:

ORIGINAL: fleshslave

Why is it that it is ok for a dom to not want BBW but it is not OK for a sub to not want a fat man?


News to me. You don't want fat guys? Gosh, then you don't want fat guys. I've got a 10 year age bubble in my search criteria (10 younger or 10 older -- don't care), a location preference, etc. A great deal of mail goes into my bulk filter.

If wording is an issue when corresponding with these people, maybe you can use:
    "Dear random dom,

    Thank you very much for your mail. Please accept my apologies for the delay in getting back to you. Because your profile didn't match the search criteria I entered into my Mail Controls, I didn't realize that it'd arrived until recently. Due to one of the following factors:

    • location
    • desire to relocate
    • physical stats

    I do not feel that we would be a good match, either in an actual or -- in the unlikely event that I was ever to be so inclined -- virtual relationship.

    Good luck with your search for the right sub for you, and I hope that you have a great week!

    - fleshslave"
As to the willingness to read a profile, well ... I've noticed that if I click on an interesting name in the listing from my search criteria, I get to a partial profile that doesn't necessarily display the entire bio, doesn't list the interests ... but, if I remember correctly, offers the chance to send the member a quick note.

Now, it's not that much trouble to click on "view full profile," but I doubt that many people who mail these notes go that far. Pity, really.

< Message edited by Mustardseed -- 4/19/2007 6:10:30 AM >

(in reply to fleshslave)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: physcial attraction - 4/19/2007 7:59:07 AM   
BayouSub


Posts: 40
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline 		OP:

quote:

Why is it that it is ok for a dom to not want BBW but it is not OK for a sub to not want a fat man?


In my opinion, the rules of attraction don't dramatically change because BDSM is involved as opposed to a simply vanilla situation.  It's perfectly ok not to be attracted to someone who isn't height-weight proportional (HWP).  It's also ok to be picky about age, height and whether a man has hair or is bald.  Of course it's shallow but we are all human and I see no need to apologize for that.

BayouSub

(in reply to fleshslave)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: physcial attraction - 4/19/2007 8:19:03 AM   
SexyRed


Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OedipusRexIt

[One slight difference of opinion:  I like the BBW designation, as it connotes positive, if somewhat defiant, self-image.  That's always a big plus.

A bientot!


Just curious: what is "defiant" about that description? There are, in fact, many beautiful larger women just as there are many beautiful thin women.

_____________________________

A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but back up 500 yards for a redhead!


(in reply to OedipusRexIt)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: physcial attraction Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094