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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/16/2006 6:12:36 AM   
zbabe888


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Some friends decided mutually that they would NOT use "obey" (she tops often but is a sub to him) when the wedding day came he had told the officiator to add it into her vows only!  She laughed and repeated it - we all chuckled and the vanillas had NO idea what was going on.  These days it is whatever floats you boat!

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/16/2006 7:15:37 AM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThunderRoad

...How does a D/s couple sneak "obey" into wedding vows without raising any serious eyebrows among the vanilla people in the audience?...


Why sneak and who cares if their eyebrows raise?
 
We had quite a few vanillas in attendance and were married by a minister.  We wrote our own vows.  Among other things, Master vowed to "cherish, be responsible for and protect" but NOT obey.  this slave vowed to be loyal, respectful, and although the word "obey" wasn't spoken, the last line she did speak in front of friends and family was " I promise to be your faithful servant as long as there is breath in my body".
Edited to add snippet:
quote:
I pledge to love, honor, comfort and encourage you for all of my days, in sickness and in health.  My heart, mind and body belong to you and I promise to take good care of them for you.  I respect you, trust you, believe in you, devote myself to you and most of all, LOVE you with all that I am.

Tomorrow morning when we wake up together my name may have changed but I won’t. I will still love you, respect you, try to make you giggle, just like yesterday. I promise you be your faithful servant for as long as there is breath in my body.


< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 11/16/2006 7:19:40 AM >

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/16/2006 7:50:14 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I insisted that the word "obey" be in my wedding vows much to the chagrin of the female minister that married us. I have always been submissive, I just did not have a name for it...smiles

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/16/2006 10:03:05 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		This is one of the reasons that we aren't going to have true weddings.  It will be private with just us and a JP, most likely.  We intend for the 'traditional' vows to be switched - we will swear to "love, honor, and cherish" our boys, and they will swear to "love, honor, and obey" us.  Our families would notice the switch ... and I don't feel the need to explain to my father any more that I like it that way and I have chosen a boy who does as well (he used to tell me all the time that our last boy was his own person and had a mind of his own and on and on - and I finally quit trying to be subtle and told him that I didn't tell him how his relationship with mom should be so could he please quit telling me how my relationship with the boy should be).

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/16/2006 11:02:17 AM   
Arpig


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From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

You do not need to 'sneak' the word into vows. Wedding vows can contain almost any variation of words that the couple wishes.

As for how others would view hearing it. Who cares what they think?


Exactly!!!!!


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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/16/2006 11:14:15 AM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		We wrote our own vows too "Obey" was included for me, we didn't sneak it in, no one thought anything of it.

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/16/2006 8:59:44 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		We had "obey" in our vows, but that was in 1968 and I think it was expected then. It would be fun to renew or vows and keep it in there.

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/17/2006 8:12:25 AM   
theRose4U


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThunderRoad

It is?  Wow, I've been to maybe 15 in the last 5 years or so and none of them had it if using traditional vows.  I thought it went out a long time ago.

It's the exact opposite. "Traditional vows" had love, honor, and obey up until the early 80's when love, honor and cherish made it's appearance.

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/17/2006 8:30:03 AM   
Aine


Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline 		My question is, since I'm an 80's baby and grew up in the 90's, is whether "love, honour and obey" was on both sides of the vows or just on the woman's side?




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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/17/2006 10:12:41 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Just the woman's side

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/18/2006 6:40:44 AM   
theRose4U


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

My question is, since I'm an 80's baby and grew up in the 90's, is whether "love, honour and obey" was on both sides of the vows or just on the woman's side?


Will have to research that one. Off the top of my weary head it was the woman only that was obey, the man was cherish and during the 80's liberation movement they both went to cherish.

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/18/2006 6:56:24 AM   
AquaticSub


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Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think anyone will care that much. I plan on having "obey" in my vows. If anyone asks tell them you liked the sound of it.

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/18/2006 7:39:05 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThunderRoad

Here's an interesting question that came up the other day in conversation. How does a D/s couple sneak "obey" into wedding vows without raising any serious eyebrows among the vanilla people in the audience?


Unless the couple is a same sex couple or the dynamic is female dom/male sub, it wouldn't raise any eyebrows in most Christian ceremonies. It might seem "old fashioned" might most people will just figure its a tradition thing.

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/18/2006 7:40:52 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

My question is, since I'm an 80's baby and grew up in the 90's, is whether "love, honour and obey" was on both sides of the vows or just on the woman's side?


Will have to research that one. Off the top of my weary head it was the woman only that was obey, the man was cherish and during the 80's liberation movement they both went to cherish.


Wasn't just a 1980s thing.

My parents were married in the late 1940s and my mother did not say "obey" in her vows. They both said "love, honor, and cherish".

My mother is no great feminist (though I'd say she is a feminist frankly) but there was no way she was making a vow in front of God and other people which she knew she would not keep.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to theRose4U)
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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/18/2006 1:09:37 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I just saw one on oxygen tv today. The bride says "you are the owner of my heart".

He says, " you are my most cherished companion".

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 11/18/2006 1:11:01 PM >

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RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/18/2006 2:03:44 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThunderRoad

Here's an interesting question that came up the other day in conversation.  How does a D/s couple sneak "obey" into wedding vows without raising any serious eyebrows among the vanilla people in the audience?


Just find a Southern Baptist minister to marry you. It's part of their doctrinal stance that the woman obey her husband.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Sneaking "obey" into the vows? - 11/19/2006 8:19:55 PM   
theRose4U


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Joined: 8/22/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie
Just find a Southern Baptist minister to marry you. It's part of their doctrinal stance that the woman obey her husband.


Knew there was a reason I was a RECOVERING southern baptist :)

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Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
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Profile   Post #: 37
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