RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (Full Version)

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HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/18/2006 5:07:23 PM)

I'd legalize Bass Seeking Missiles to blow up cars with rap playing at 150 decibles.



nighthawk3569 -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/18/2006 5:13:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I shall be legally entitled to own a large calibre machine gun, for use in public places.

It shall be made illegal to maraud up my road from midnight until 3 am, shouting, screaming, vandalising and fighting due to intoxication.

The penalty for such drunken behaviour shall be, to experience my ability to hack legs off with a large calibre machine gun, even in low light conditions.

E


   Hear, hear, LadyEllen!!!...except the time should be extended to 24 hours per day. After  all, you need to be able to hit your target in bright-light conditions, too.
   As we say in this neck of the woods: 'Tresspassers will be shot; survivors will be shot again'.
 
                                                                                        'hawk
 
Each Head-of-Household should be furnished one machine-gun.



Level -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/18/2006 6:17:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RazorJAK

Oh wasn't referring to the whole black suit storyline.  I was referring to the raping of canon portrayed in the trailer which makes SP2 seem like it was written and directed by Stan the Man himself.

Sandman killed Uncle Ben?  Ummm what?
Harry Osborn becomes Night Surfer?  Again,  WTF?  (- I could see him becoming another Green Goblin as he did in the mainstream Spiderman continuity.  I could see him becoming Hobgoblin as he does in the Ultimate Spiderman continuity.  But what the fuck is NIGHT SURFER?  Sounds about as stupid as when they put Morbius in the cartoon and had him draining peoples life energy with his hands. -)

Yes,  I'm a geek.

My law?  Any movie director pulling a Uwe Boll or Joel Schumacher shall be put in stocks in the village square for a fortnight.



Any time you see something like what you spoke of, is almost certainly the "work" of a studio exec that has a mistaken idea that they have creative ability. It drove Harlan Ellison nuts, and as a fan, I'm not fond of it, either.



Lorelei115 -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/18/2006 11:46:50 PM)

I work in a restaurant. Thats all the background you really need for this one.

There should be a law against allowing screaming unmentionables to remain in a public setting. Obviously, said unmentionables can't be held accountable for their own behavior, so responsibility passes directly onto the parent. If your unmentionable is screaming TAKE THEM OUTSIDE!

The penalty for violating this law shall be: the offender shall be awoken at 4 am every day for the rest of their lives by an extremely loud alarm clock made solely of a recording of 10 children screaming at the tops of their lungs for 10 minutes straight. There shall be no "snooze". Alternatively, they may choose to spend 30 minutes in a booth with Whitney Houston's greatest hits at full blast.



twicehappy -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/19/2006 4:12:44 AM)

All car drivers shall be required to pass a vision test that demonstrates they can see a motorcycle on the road. Any who fail this test shall not be allowed to drive.

For those drivers who hit a motorcycle and then claim "I did not see them" shall be taken to an open field where the family and friends of the motorcyclist hit by this idiot can take turns running them over while loudly stating " but I did not see you standing there".

Any person caught parking in a handicapped space who is not handicapped shall be hit in the kneecaps with a baseball bat until they require the parking space they co opted for their personal use.



Lorelei115 -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/19/2006 6:39:17 PM)

quote:



Any person caught parking in a handicapped space who is not handicapped shall be hit in the kneecaps with a baseball bat until they require the parking space they co opted for their personal use.



[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif]



QuietDom -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/20/2006 11:21:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Any person caught parking in a handicapped space who is not handicapped shall be hit in the kneecaps with a baseball bat until they require the parking space they co opted for their personal use.



Some public-spirited individuals have, from time to time, taken it on themselves to enforce this one.  To the detriment of some people whose disabilities are not immediately apparent.



TreSwank -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/20/2006 11:37:36 AM)

Have you guys ever seen that Michael Douglas film called "Falling Down"? 

This thread is starting to resemble that movie way too much.  I have to admit.......my heart swells with childish glee when ol' Michael goes bonkers in that convenience store over "inflation". 

Watch this whole scene.  Trust me..........it's the fantasy fulfillment we've all craved for years.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=27gx80UVVXc



RubberWitch -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/20/2006 11:39:44 AM)

quote:

All car drivers shall be required to pass a vision test that demonstrates they can see a motorcycle on the road. Any who fail this test shall not be allowed to drive.


I'll go further. I have always believed you need to do 2 years on a bike before you are eligible to go for a car licence



LadyEllen -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/20/2006 12:02:07 PM)

There is no way on this earth, that I am ever getting on a motorbike ever again thanks! My dad scared me half to death quite enough when I was younger!

I do see the sense in making some ride a bike though - although in my case I have driven bikers in my car before now, and they cant get over the fact that I always check for bikes on the inside, outside as well as everywhere else before moving off/turning etc.

When I see some of the lunatics on our roads, I'd say a better option would be to stop Kelloggs handing out licenses. Honestly, they drive like theyre in a dream - which can quickly become a nightmare.

E



LaTigresse -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/20/2006 1:16:27 PM)

My law.

To be allowed to reproduce you should pass an IQ test and a common sense test.

If you cannot pass both tests, you shall be sterilized.



SohCahToa -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/20/2006 1:32:02 PM)

Noooo that’ll never work someone has to run the country.



LaTigresse -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/20/2006 1:35:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SohCahToa

Noooo that’ll never work someone has to run the country.


OMG!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!

I am just glad I was not drinking anything when I read that!



Bluebird -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/20/2006 11:26:46 PM)

Anyone attempting to "throw someone under the bus" to save their own sorry lazy/lying ass will immediately have said bus stop, line up, and back over the lying weasel.  If the offender has been saved from the big bus wheels by the intended throwee at some time in the past, the throwee gets to trade places with the bus driver and is entitled to run donuts over the weasel.



KathrynSub -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/21/2006 12:28:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

All car drivers shall be required to pass a vision test that demonstrates they can see a motorcycle on the road. Any who fail this test shall not be allowed to drive.

For those drivers who hit a motorcycle and then claim "I did not see them" shall be taken to an open field where the family and friends of the motorcyclist hit by this idiot can take turns running them over while loudly stating " but I did not see you standing there".


i'm fine with this law, but we have to make it fair to all parties involved, hence:

All motorcyclists are forbidden to go zipping from lane to lane because somehow you think that driving a motorcyle makes it acceptable behavior. Furthermore, they forbidden to drive between lanes unless they are on a freeway and traffic is stopped.

Failure to comply will result in the motorcyclist being forced to drive down a busy freeway with all the drivers who "did not see motorcyclists" for 20 miles or until hit, whichever comes first.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/21/2006 12:38:37 AM)

I second LaTigresse's law, wholeheartedly
I also strongly believe that there should be quotas for the number of children a person should be allowed to have, which shall not surpass their abilities to provide for their own children.  If you cannot afford to have more babies... there should be a law making sure you dont have more babies.

DV



RubberWitch -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/21/2006 12:44:39 AM)

Valid point, when each car is either carrying a full compliment of passengers, has been deemed by the authorities as the only safe form of transport (ie driver has cerebelum syndrome), and engine efficiency allows you to traverse 85 miles on about £6 of petrol (OK, per person, I'm feeling generous), then you can start accusing bikers of, basically beeing selfish. Yes I pac-man, and lane swap, but I always indicate.


New law. Anyone serving any generic product rather than the brand name product they're charging you for should have "Placebo only" written on their medical records.

Boy, I've woken up on the bitchy side of the bed this morning.

EDIT: hey, Whilst I am in a mood to be offensive, anyone being found to have claimed to have suffered a sexual attack should have their genetalia put beyond use (concrete filled, like IRA arms stocks). If this was found to be done for purposes of extortion, or any other calculated act, punishment will be delayed untill 'the balance is redressed'.



LadyFrancesca -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/21/2006 1:45:18 AM)

My law:

No one is allowed to attempt to shove their religion down anyone else's throat, insult or threaten "non-believers," offer unsolicited spiritual advice, or "spread the word" door-to-door or in any public place. 

Anyone caught breaking said law will be immediately placed in a straight jacket and forced to listen to fingernails on chalkboards for the next 75 years while suffering from unending food poisoning.



Lashra -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/21/2006 7:23:34 AM)

Animal abuse or pet neglect shall be punishable by having the perpetrators hands cut off.

I read an article the other day about some asshole tossing some kittens into a fireplace and burning them alive[:@]

~Lashra



daddysprop247 -> RE: Laws That We Wish Existed (11/21/2006 7:34:59 AM)

Lashra, i'd support that law fully. animal cruelty is one of the few things makes me truly furious.

my laws: the universal AOC (age of consent) would be 16.
             same sex marriages would be legal and recognizable in every state and province in the US and Canada
             there would truly be a separation of church and state...no more "in god we trust" on the money, no more laws based directly in religion, no more public prayer at gatherings or places intended for the use and attendance of us all.
             no female would be permitted to file for divorce from a male except in cases of forced marriage or coercion. (yeah, my subbie-slave side wants that one)
             "consensual slave" would be a legally recognized status, more binding than marriage
             



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